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The mini-Annals of Improbable Research ("mini-AIR")
Issue Number 1994-02
June, 1994
ISSN 1076-500X
Key words:science humor,Improbable Research,Ig Nobel
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The mini-journal of inflated research and personalities.
Published by The Annals of Improbable Research (AIR)
at The MIT Museum
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1994-02-01 TABLE OF CONTENTS
1994-02-01 Table of Contents
1994-02-02 Pieces of Schneerson
1994-02-03 Announcing AIRhead Project 2000
1994-02-04 Recap (by pop req) of 1991 Ig Nobel Prizewinners
1994-04-05 Specimen of the Month
1994-02-06 May We Recommend...
1994-02-07 AIR extracts now syndicated on USENET
1994-02-08 News about AIR
1994-02-09 Upcoming Events
1994-02-10 Calls for Papers
1994-02-11 Purpose of mini-AIR (*)
1994-02-12 How to Submit Articles (*)
1994-02-13 How to Subscribe / How to Get Back Issues (*)
1994-02-14 AIR's Mailing and Internet Addresses (*)
1994-02-15 Please DO make copies! (*)
Items marked (*) are reprinted in every issue.
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1994-02-02 Pieces of Schneerson
Pieces of Schneerson: Culturing the Immortal Cell Line RMS94
by Sam Greenberg, New York City. Translated from the original
Hebrew by Karen Hopkin, Yeshiva University.
This month, members of the ultra-Orthodox Lubavitch Hasidic group
mourned the death of their Grand Rabbi Menachem Schneerson. Many
of the Rebbe's followers apparently believed Schneerson to be
immortal--the Messiah predicted in the Old Testament. To
determine whether Schneerson could be considered immortal, we
obtained cell samples from the Rebbe's frontal cortex, left
forearm, and lower intestine during his 3-month hospitalization at
Beth Israel in New York. These cells were tested for their
ability to grow indefinitely in culture.
We found that neurons from Schneerson's brain [1] exhibited growth
patterns typical of immortalized cells --growth in the absence of
contact with the culture plate; a decreased requirement for serum
growth factors; and the ability to overcome replicative senescence
(cultures were monitored for more than 250 median population
doublings). The other cell types did not exhibit immortal growth
[2].
Single-strand conformational polymorphism analysis indicates that
Schneerson's neurons (cell line RMS94) contain a mutation in the
tumor suppressor Retinoblastoma (Rb) gene. This point mutation
would lead to the replacement of a glutamic acid residue (E) in
the Rb protein. Further studies are needed to determine how the
RbE mutation leads to immortality.
NOTES:
[1] Cell line RMS94 will be available through the American Type
Culture Collection, ATCC #4494R for further physiological and
genetic analyses or for divine inspiration.
[2] The significance of the immortality of only the Rebbe's brain
cells is currently under investigation by a team of molecular
biologists and biblical scholars.
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1994-02-03 Announcing AIRhead Project 2000
With year 2000 fast[1] approaching, many [2] scientific, medical,
engineering, legal, educational, governmental and marketing
organizations are sponsoring research projects that involve the
number two thousand. The Annals of Improbable Research is
compiling a list of such studies. Randomly selected items fro the
list include:
#1. "Library 2000," MIT
#2. "NASA MINDS 2000+," Eastern Michigan U. and NASA
#3. "Education 2000," United Kingdom
#4. Goals 2000 Initiative," U.S. Dept of Education
#5. Information Management 2000," Univ. of St. Gallen
We are also assembling a complete collection of products (and/or
advertisements for products) which are related to the number two
thousand. The collection presently consists of these items:
#1. "Biomek 2000 Laboratory Automation Workstation"
from Beckman.
#2. "Lever 2000 soap." The manufacturer's advertisements
point out that the soap can be used to cleanse
a human being's 2000 body parts.
#3. "2000 Flushes automatic toilet bowl cleaner."
#4. "2000 Flushes Blue automatic toilet bowl cleaner."
#5. "2000 Flushes Chlorine Clear automatic toilet bowl
cleaner."
AIRhead Project 2000 is seeking additions to our list of projects,
and additions to our collection of products and/or ads for
products. Please do not send products that have been previously
used and/or ingested. All materials should be sent to the address
given below.
NOTES:
1. The rate of approach is approx. one year per year.
2. Approx. two thousand.
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1994-02-03 Recap (by pop req) of 1991 Ig Nobel Prizewinners
Many readers have requested that we publish a list of previous
years' Ig Nobel Prizewinners. The first public ceremony was held
in 1991. The winners that year included:
1991 Ig Nobel Chemistry Prize: Jacques Benveniste
prolific proselytizer and dedicated correspondent of "Nature," for his
persistent discovery that water, H2O, is an intelligent liquid and for
demonstrating to his satisfaction that water is able to remember events
long after all trace of those events has vanished.
1991 Ig Nobel Education Prize: J. Danforth Quayle
consumer of time and occupier of space, for demonstrating, better than
anyone else, the need for science education. (The acceptance speech was
delivered by someone who claimed to be Vice President Quayle but who
appeared to be an eight-year-old girl.)
1991 Ig Nobel Biology Prize: Robert Klark Graham
selector of seeds and prophet of propagation, for his pioneering
development of the Repository for Germinal Choice, a sperm bank that
accepts donations from Nobellians and Olympians.
1991 Ig Nobel Literature Prize: Erich Von Daniken
visionary raconteur and author of "Chariots of the Gods," for explaining
how human civilization was influenced by ancient astronauts from outer
space.
1991 Ig Nobel Peace Prize: Edward Teller
father of the hydrogen bomb and first champion of the Star Wars weapons
system, for his lifelong efforts to change the meaning of peace as we
know it. (The Ig Nobel Committee was unable to find anyone who was
willing to accept the prize on behalf of Edward Teller.)
1991 Ig Nobel Economics Prize: Michael Milken
titan of Wall Street and father of the junk bond, to whom the world is
indebted.
1991 Ig Nobel Pedestrian Technology Prize: Paul Defanti
wizard of structures and crusader for public safety, for his invention
of the Buckybonnet, a geodesic fashion structure that pedestrians wear
to protect their heads and preserve their composure.
1991 Ig Nobel Interdisciplinary Research Prize: Josiah Carberry
bold explorer and eclectic seeker of knowledge, for his pioneering work
in the field of psychoceramics, the study of cracked pots.
1991 Ig Nobel Medicine Prize: Alan Kligerman
deviser of digestive deliverance, vanquisher of vapor, and inventor of
Beano, for his pioneering work with antigas liquids that prevent bloat,
gassiness, discomfort, and embarrassment.
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1994-04-04 Specimen of the Month
Taxonomic and analytical text prepared by Emmert Lowery, Jr.
This item is on exhibit at The MIT Museum.
Item #83002D. "No Knife. A study in mixed media earth tones,
number three." Realized by James Tetazoo. December 1984.
This object d'art was found in the midst of an art Exhibit at
MIT's List Galleries in the Weisner Arts and Media Building,
installed by students whose identity remains unknown. It consists
of a gray plastic tray surmounted by two spoons, a plate, a bowl,
a glass, and a fork.
The artist's mode d'emploi relies upon minimalist kinematic
methods; space and time are frozen in a staid reality of
restrained sexuality. Temporary occasionalism, soon overcome
throughout by symbolic nihility, pervades our earliest perception
of the work. An overturned throwaway obelisk functions as symbolic
pedestal; the work rests upon a manifestation of grey toned
absence. Epicurean imagery is employed most effectively by
Tetazoo; the glass, the porcelain, the plastic move in conflicting
directions and yet are joined in a mood of stark pacifism. The
sterile lateralism of the grouped utensils (sans knife), conveys a
sens of eternal ennui, framed within the subtle ambience of
discrete putrefaction. The casual formalism of the place setting
draws upon our common internal instinct of existential persistence
to unify us withe the greater consciousness of human bondage.
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1994-02-05 May We Recommend...
Research reports that merit a trip to the library:
"A Partial Form of Lycanthropy with Hair Delusion in a Manic-
Depressive Patient," by H. Verdoux and M. Bourgeois, "British
Journal of Psychiatry," vol. 163, pp. 685-686.
"Rewarming Hypothermic Animals with Microwaves," by Ken Bartels,
"Veterinary Forum," March 1994, pp. 28 and following. (Thanks to
Joseph Musielak for bringing this to our attention.)
(We welcome your suggestions for this column. Please include full
citations. If possible, please send us a photocopy of the paper.)
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1994-02-07 AIR extracts now syndicated on USENET
"Extracts from the The Annals of Improbable Research" will now
appear in the form of a syndicated weekly column. The items there
will be different from those which appear here in mini-AIR.
If your Internet site subscribes to the Clarinet newsgroups,
you can read these extracts in the USENET news group named
clari.feature.imprb_research
[EDITOR'S NOTE: Through no fault of our own, our column is
appearing at the same time Dave Barry's column is disappearing.
Dave's column was one of the few things on the Internet that we
read faithfully, and we will miss it sorely. Apparently, an
executive at Knight Ridder, the corporation which owns the rights
to Dave's column, decided that the Internet is a dangerous place.
By the power vested (by ourselves)in us, we hereby proclaim that
executive (whose name we do not know) to be an honorary AIR head.]
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1994-02-08 News about AIR
1. We will be announcing details soon about how to subscribe to
the print version of AIR. We hope to publish the first issue this
fall. Any generous support we receive from patrons of the
improbable will help hasten that day. If you or your organization
would like to help, please get in touch.
2. Our office is in the MIT Museum, where AIR and mini-AIR are
published. When you are in town, please drop by to say hello and
discuss your research or lack thereof.
3. Several mysterious people have inquired whether it is possible
to obtain group subscriptions to AIR as gifts for customers,
employees, students, patients, or whatnot. The answer is yes.
4. We are looking for volunteer interns to help with
correspondence and research. If you live in the Cambridge area and
feel so inclined, please get in touch.
5. Marilyn Geller, our Technical Brains, will soon depart from
MIT, leaving us, technically speaking, half-Brained at best.
Many, many thanks to Marilyn for her help, wisdom, patience, and
foregone sleep in launching first mini-JIR, then mini-AIR.
Marilyn has consented to remain loosely affiliated with mini-AIR,
in exchange for the odd (tasting) cup of coffee.
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1994-02-08 Upcoming Events
INTERTEL CONFERENCE Tues., July 5
Hyatt Regency Hotel, Cambridge, MA. For info call (718) 275-2653
BARNES AND NOBLE, Brookline, MA Thurs., July 28, 8:00
Slide show/seminar/heckling. For info call (617) 566-5562
MIT ALUMNI/AE CLUB OF LONG ISLAND date TBA
"CRAZY AFTER CALCULUS" ongoing
An ongoing exhibition of extraordinary humor at MIT from
prehistoric times through the presen. [NOTE: The police car that
recently materialized atop MIT's Great Dome is now in storage at
The MIT Museum.]
The MIT Museum
265 Massachusetts Avenue, Cambridge, MA 02139 USA
(617) 253-4422 (ktl@mitvma.mit.edu)
1994 IG NOBEL PRIZE CEREMONY Thurs., October 6
Kresge Auditorium,MIT, Cambridge, Massachusetts.
You are cordially invited to attend.
INTERSOCIETY POLYMER SOCIETY Mon., October 10
Stouffer Harborplace Hotel, Baltimore, MD
For info call (518) 387-7942
GODDARD SPACE CENTER, Greenbelt, MD date TBA
MENSA CONVENTION, Chicago, IL Sat., Oct. 29
For info call Dianne Miller, (708) 747-5651