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W e M a g a z i n e I s s u e 1 7 , V o l u m e 1
E d i t o r s
Santa Cruz: Stephen Cope, James Garrison
Bay Area: Angela Coon, Eric Curkendall
New York City: Jay Curkendall, Roddy Potter
Albany: Chris Funkhouser, Belle Gironda,
Ben Henry, Katie Yates
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THE POETRY HOLE
People have poem holes in the tops of their heads. This
comes as a surprise to many people.
If you close your mouth and hold your nostrils, and
blow, you will feel the pressure against the tops of your heads.
In this way people are like whales.
Some times small sounds are emitted from these holes.
In most people, it is whimpering and sniddering--sounds that
one would dare make only when alone and perhaps not even
then; disturbing sounds, not representations but the sounds of
the emotions themselves--the sound of loneliness, the sound of
the fear of death, the sound of horniness....
The hole may also emit sounds when one is with a
rambunctious crowd of happy people having fun, but they are
quiet sounds and hard to hear.
Poets cultivate this pressure until the thin membrane
covering the poem hole ruptures and begins to emit the high
whining shounds of the self. These are poems. These learn to
modulate the sounds, so they do close order drills, in perfect
step, like a marching band or a troop of tap dancers.
Most people go to some lengths not to hear them: watch
television, listen to loud music. Above all they interpret the
sounds. If the poet writes I am happy happy happy, we know
this is not true, and we have developed a large, well-paid class
of professional critics whose task is to interpret the poets'
writings,so we will know that the letters in "happy, happy,
happy" must be rearrange as ppphay, pppyahyah, ppphay,
pppyahyah--the saddest and most sniddering syllables in the
language.
Two parties have developed around this discovery: one
believes that people have always had poetry holes; the other
believes that they developed recently in human history,
perhaps as recently as the 17th century.
I am inclined to think it has always been there. The
report of poetry is consistent: people are miserable, their girl
friends or boy friends are mean to them, they no sooner learn
how to get along in life than they start becoming ugly and tired,
then they die.
It is now known that the poetry hole can be closed with a
simple surgical procedure. It has proven effective and
permanent; it is highly recommended.
Don Byrd
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We Press
Postoffice Box 1503
Santa Cruz, California 95061