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-=-=-=-=-=-=-
- ***********************************************************************
- ***********************************************************************
- ** ***
- ** ***
- ** NutWorks ***
- ** ---------- ***
- ** The Inter-Net Virtual Magazine for Those ***
- ** Who Have Come To The Ultimate Conclusion ***
- ** That They Are, Therefore They Think ! ***
- ** ***
- ** October 1985, Issue 2, Volume II. NutWorks is Published ***
- ** monthly. Leonard M. Friedman aka Spock (CALBC821@CUNYVM) ***
- ** Virtual Editor in Chief. ***
- ** ***
- ***********************************************************************
- ***********************************************************************
Editor's Comments
=================
Well the response to the first issue of nutworks for this sememster
was incredible. Some of you (Yes Knappy, I mean you for one) sent me
enough stuff to sort through to keep me busy for quite a while. Thanks
for all the great stuff everyone out there sent us. I ran into a slight
problem with several of the articles that were sent to me though. Alth-
ough they were on the whole great articles, some were incredibly long.
I didnt want to clogg up people's readers or the network with an incred-
ibly large issue, so i decided to try something revolutionary to this
magazine that we all know and love, I decided that I would have to make
some of the articles into several parters (An example is in the Op Code
article) I want to stress that I am not complaining about people send-
ing long articles, on the contrary, I am explaining to you why I did
what I did. Besides, we want to make sure that you will read next issue
:-)
P.S. Knappy Sorry, but it wouldn't be fair to make an entire issue just
out of the stuff you sent me. It will be spread out over several
issues. Thanks for your support.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
NutWorks News
=============
1) The NutWorks Staff Would like to wish everyone a great time at the
upcoming Netcon being held in Washington, D.C., October 11 - 14.
2) Nutworks will be avialable for Bitnet users on the Forum Confer-
encing system via the /getf Nutworks Issue### command. Back issues
have already been placed on Forum. For Usenet users it will be avail-
able through Alan (ALAN@NCSUVM.bitnet). For more information please
consult the NutWorks Info File availalbe in a solar system near you !!!
3) The Staff has decided that on top of distributing NutWorks through
the Forum Conferencing System to create a mailing list. To get yourself
added to this list send a memo with your account, node, and name (First,
Last) to any of the following:
Lenny aka Spock CALBC821 @ CUNYVM (Bitnet)
Scott aka Orion CSCSRH @ CCNYVME (Bitnet)
Alan aka Alan Alan @ NCSUVM (Bitnet, Usenet)
Note: Names are strictly for reference purposes.
4) The CURRENT mailing list is 120 People on Bitnet !!! WOW !!!
:-)
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Bugs
==========
I think that I shall never see
a subroutine that works for me
a macro or a zero test
that isn't just a rodent's nest
a string that doesn't always stray
and mix up bit's in wild array
a process with re-entrant flair
that isn't just a looping snair
routines whose timings are not slain
when interrupts begin to rain
maybe god can make a tree
but bugs are made by guys like me!
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Another Glitch in the Call
==========================
(Sung to the tune of a similar Pink Floyd song.)
(Contributed By Knappy 8350428 @ UWAVM)
We don't need no indirection
We don't need no flow control
No data typing or declarations
Hey! You! Leave those lists alone!
Chorus:
All in all, it's just a pure-LISP function call.
We don't need no side effect-ing
We don't need no scope control
No global variables for execution
Hey! You! Leave those args alone!
(Chorus)
We don't need no allocation
We don't need no special nodes
No dark bit-flipping in the functions
Hey! You! Leave those bits alone!
(Chorus)
We don't need no compilation
We don't need no load control
No link edit for external bindings
Hey! You! Leave that source alone!
(Chorus, and repeat)
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Proofs
==========
The following is a list of some common proof techniques that
are often extremely useful.
1 Proof by example:
The author gives only the case n = 2 and suggests that
it contains most of the ideas of the general proof.
2 Proof by intimidation:
'Trivial.'
3 Proof by vigorous handwaving:
Works well in a classroom or seminar setting.
4 Proof by cumbersome notation:
Best done with access to at least four alphabets
and special symbols.
5 Proof by exhaustion:
An issue or two of a journal devoted to your proof is
useful.
6 Proof by omission:
'The reader may easily supply the details.'
'The other 253 cases are analogous.'
'...'
7 Proof by obfuscation:
A long plotless sequence of true and/or meaningless
syntactically related statements.
8 Proof by wishful citation:
The author cites the negation, converse, or generalization
of a theorem from literature to support his claims.
9 Proof by funding:
How could three different government agencies be wrong?
10 Proof by eminent authority:
'I saw Karp in the elevator and he said it was probably
NP-complete.'
11 Proof by personal communication:
'Eight-dimensional colored cycle stripping is NP-complete
[Karp, personal communication].'
12 Proof by reduction to the wrong problem:
' To see that infinite-dimensional colored cycle stripping
is decidable, we reduce it to the halting problem.'
13 Proof by reference to inaccessible literature:
The author cites a simple corollary of a theorem to be
found in a privately circulated memoir of the Slovenian
Philological Society, 1883.
14 Proof by importance:
A large body of useful consequences all follow from the
proposition in question.
15 Proof by accumulated evidence:
Long and diligent search has not revealed a counterexample.
16 Proof by cosmology:
The negation of the proposition is unimaginable or meaningless.
Popular for proofs of the existence of God.
17 Proof by mutual reference:
In reference A, Theorem 5 is said to follow from Theorem 3 in
reference B, which is shown from Corollary 6.2 in reference C,
which is an easy consequence of Theorem 5 in reference A.
18 Proof by metaproof:
A method is given to construct the desired proof. The
correctness of the method is proved by any of these techniques.
19 Proof by picture:
A more convincing form of proof by example. Combines well
with proof by omission.
20 Proof by vehement assertion:
It is useful to have some kind of authority in relation to
the audience.
21 Proof by ghost reference:
Nothing even remotely resembling the cited theorem appears
in the reference given.
22 Proof by forward reference:
Reference is usually to a forthcoming paper of the author,
which is often not as forthcoming as at first.
23 Proof by semantic shift:
Some standard but inconvenient definitions are changed for
the statement of the result.
24 Proof by appeal to intuition:
Cloud-shaped drawings frequently help here.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
The Virus
=========
by: J. Keith Lehman
WT123275 @ WVNVAXA (Fozzy Bear)
SEP-16-2007
BRAM (Bacterial Random Access Memory) was the greatest innov-
ation in the computer industry since the introduction of thought
recognition systems back in 1997. Before BRAM, most home compu-
ters had more than 64 gigabytes of memory. Now the amount of
memory is governed by the need. If you need more memory, simply
"uncage" some of your multiplying bacteria. In a matter of sec-
onds the bacteria will divide into astronomical amounts of
memory using normal cell division. Information is stored in the
DNA molecules of the bacteria which you produce.
By the year 2002, nearly every computer system relied on BRAM
for the huge amount of storage required to translate thought
processes into a form computers could read. All governments had
BRAM based defense systems and now the BRAM technology had
finally arrived on the home market. For only $32,000 (the cost
of an average laser printer) you could buy a BRAM module for
your home system. They sold every one they could make.
The tragedy occured when a disgruntled employee of the Genen-
comp division of Eastern-IBM started to research ways to alter
the genetic structures of the BRAM bacteria through a type of
virus. His apparent aim was to hold Eastern-IBM's data hostage.
He was given everything that he demanded in the hope that IBM
scientists could discover the strain before he could release it.
After extensive searches it was determined that the virus was a
hoax. IBM had the man arrested and he was sentenced to 2 years
in a minimum security prison. IBM continued to produce the BRAM
module, and for a while everything went smoothly.
Until... It turned out that the employee had hidden the
infamous strain in the form of actual electrical instructions
embedded within a variable-bit microprocessor used in IBM's most
popular mini-computer. The program was set to execute auto-
matically after four months. Upon execution, the instructions
reprogrammed an innocent BRAM bacteria into a cancerous virus.
The entire IBM computer system was destroyed. Consumers and
businesses lost faith in IBM and the company filed for Chapter
11 within a week.
The instructions to reprogram the bacteria were simultaneously
transmitted to every computer on every network connected in any
way to IBM--which turned out to be quite a lot. The IBM research
network was connected to popular world wide networks used by
colleges, businesses, home computer owners and defense depart-
ment computers as well. The result--TOTAL ANNIHILATION of nearly
every computer big and small.
Businesses suddenly had no records, no way to take new orders
or any way to confirm existing orders. Thousands of businesses
crumbled. The world economy was thrust into chaos as banks
closed and called in their loans. Several smaller countries were
hit by revolutions. The news media compared it to a nuclear
blast hitting the economy of every country in the world.
Needless to say, BRAM was declared to be a threat to national
security and federal authorities had the authority to arrest
anyone caught experimenting with it. The disgruntled employee
was exiled out of the U.S. (the first time anyone had been
exiled since 1990). The IRS suspended all audits for 2 years
because they could not expect people to to complete their tax
forms correctly without the aid of computers. Everyone dragged
out their old silicon based computers and tried to cope with
losing all the information formerly in the BRAM systems.
Two years later the virus died out due to a lack of new BRAM
to feed on. Some BRAM systems were revived with a new antibiotic
organism that roamed throughout the memory serching for any
trace of a virus. Fortunately, no other virus has been found...
yet...!
------------------------------------------------------------------------
SEMICONDUCTOR DEFINITIONS AND TERMINOLOGY
=========================================
HOLES .................... the presence of nothing
HOLE DENSITY ............. a concentrated amount of nothing in 1
small place
ELECTRON ................. the absence of holes
PLANCK'S CONSTANT ........ two board feet
JUNCTION ................. fork in the road
P-N JUNCTION ............. roadside rest area
SEMI-CONDUCTOR ........... truck driver
DEGENERATE SEMICONDUCTOR . truck driver who likes his tea
DOPE ..................... someone you know
HEAVILY DOPED ............ someone you wish you didn't know
STORE CHARGE ............. wine cellar
SILICON .................. a gay prisoner
GERMANIUM ................ would have been a flower but someone
misspelled it
TRANSPORT FACTOR ......... cousin of Max Factor
MAJORITY CARRIER ......... Republican carrying signs at a
Republican convention
MINORITY CARRIER ......... Democrat carrying signs at a Republican
convention
BASE ..................... low man in a quartet
COMMON BASE .............. local pub
COLLECTOR ................ one who collects
COMMON COLLECTOR ......... one who collects from everybody
COLLECTOR CAPACITY ....... maximum # of people a common collector
can handle
COLLECTOR BREAKDOWN ...... result of being a common collector
VOLTAGE DROP ............. a candy, like a gum drop
CURRENT DENSITY .......... present stupidity
CURRENT GAIN ............. most recent rise in one's stock
POWER GAIN ............... fullback up the middle
ATOM ..................... part of an American colloquial
expression, "up & atom"
DELAY TIME ............... time it takes to start working after one
has arrived on the premises
RISE TIME ................ time one takes to get up in the morning
after the alarm has gone off
FALL TIME ................ September to November
SWITCHING TRANSISTORS .... act of changing one transistor for another
DCTL ..................... Don't Complain if the Transistor's Lousy
IcZERO ................... mistake, it should read "I see Zorro"
MINIATURE ................ small
MICRO .................... damn small
------------------------------------------------------------------------
OP CODES PART I (A - E)
=======================
(Contributed By Knappy 8350428 @ UWAVM)
mnemonic meaning
-------- -------
AAC Alter All Commands
AAD Alter All Data
AAO Add And Overflow
AAR Alter At Random
AB Add Backwards
ABR Add Beyond Range
ACC Advance CPU clock
ACQT Advance Clock to Quitting Time
ADB Another Damn Bug [UNIX]
AEE Absolve engineering errors
AFF Add Fudge Factor
AFHB Align Fullword on Halfword Boundary
AFP Abnormalized Floating Point
AFVC Add Finagle's Variable Constant "the constant
that must be added to make your data support
your conclusions"
AGB Add GarBage
AI Add Improper
AIB Attack Innocent Bystander
AMM Answer My Mail
AOI Annoy Operator Immediate
AR Alter Reality
ARNZ Add & Reset to Non-Zero
ARZ Add & Reset to Zero
AS Add Sideways
AT Accumulate Trivia
AWP Argue With Programmer
AWTT Assemble With Tinker Toys
BAC Branch to Alpha Centauri
BAF Blow All Fuses
BAH Branch And Hang
BALC Branch And Link Cheeseburger
BAW Bells And Whistles
BB Branch on bug
BBB Burn Baby Burn
BBBB Byte Baudy Bit and Branch
BBI Branch on Blinking Indicator
BBL Branch on Burned-out Lamp
BCB Burp and Clear Bytes
BCBF Branch on Chip Box Full
BCIL Branch Creating Infinite Loop
BCR Backspace Card Reader
BCU Be Cruel and Unusual
BD Backspace Disk
BDC Break Down and Cry
BDM Branch and Disconnect Memory
BDT Branch on Dumb Terminal
BDT Burn Data Tree [next opcode after Decorate Data
Tree
BDU Branch on Dumb User
BE Branch Everywhere [As in HHGttG's Infinite
Improbability Computer"
BF Belch Fire
BH Branch and Hang
BIRM Branch on Index Register Missing
BLC Branch and Loop Continuous
BLM Branch, Like, Maybe
BLMWM Branch, Like, Maybe, Wow, Man
BLR Branch and Lose Return
BM Branch Maybe
BMI Branch on Missing Index
BNA Branch to Nonexistent Address
BNR Branch for No Reason
BOA Branch on Operator Absent
BOD Branch on Operator Desperate
BOHP Bribe Operator for Higher Priority
BOP Boot OPerator
BPD Branch on Programmer Debugging
BPIM Bury Programmer In Manuals
BPO Branch on Power Off
BR Byte and Run
BRA BRanch Anywhere
BRA Branch to Random Address
BRI BRanch Indefinitely
BRO BRanch to Oblivion
BRP Branch on Real Programmer
BRT BRanch on Tuesdays
BSC Burst Selector Channel
BSM Branch and Scramble Memory
BSO Branch on Sleepy Operator
BSP BackSpace Printer
BST Backspace & Stretch Tape
BTD Byte The Dust
BTJ Branch & Turn Japanese
BTO Branch To Oblivion
BW Branch on Whim
BWABL Bells, Whistles And Blinking Lights
BWOP BeWilder OPerator
CAF Convert Ascii to Farsic
CAI Corrupt Accounting Information
CAIL Crash After I Leave
CAT Confused And Tired [UNIX]
CBA Compare & Branch Anyway
CBNC Close, But No Cigar
CBS Clobber BootStrap
CC Call Calvary
CC Crappy Control [UNIX]
CCB Consult Crystal Ball
CCCP Conceal Condition-Codes Permanently
CCD Choke, Cough and Die
CCD Clear Current Directory "this may really exist!"
CCD Clear Core and Dump
CCR Change Channels Random
CCS Chinese Character Set
CCWR Change Color of Write Ring
CDR Complement Disk Randomly
CFS Corrupt File Structure
CG Convert to Garbage
CH Create Havoc
CHAPMR CHAse Pointers Around Machine Room
CIB Change Important Byte
CIMM Create Imaginary Memory Map
CM Circulate memory
CMD CPU Melt Down
CMD Compare Meaningless Data
CMI Clobber Monitor Immediately
CML Compute Meaning of Life (42)
CMP Create Memory Prosthesis
CMS Click MicroSwitch
CN Compare Nonsensically
CNB Cause Nervous Breakdown
COLB Crash for Operator's Lunch Break
COMF COMe From
COS Copy Object Code to Source File
COWHU Come Out With your Hands Up
CP%FKM CPU - Flakeout mode
CP%WM CPU - Weird Mode
CPB Create Program Bug
CPR Compliment PRogrammer ("Aren't you cute!")
CPSN Change Processor Serial Number
CRASH Continue Running after Stop or Halt
CRM Clear Random Memory
CRN Convert to Roman Numerals [IBM Italy only]
CRYPT reCuRsive encrYPt Tape mnemonic [UNIX]
CS Crash System
CSL Curse and Swear Loudly
CSN Call Supervisor Names
CSNIO Crash System on Next I/O
CSU Call Self Unconditional " the ultimate in
recursive programming"
CSYS Crash SYStem
CTDMR Change Tape Density, Mid Record
CUC Cheat Until Caught
CVFL Convert Floating to Logical
CVFP ConVert FORTRAN to PASCAL
CVG ConVert to Garbage
CVU ConVert to Unary
CWAH Create Woman And Hold
CWDC Cut Wires and Drop Cores
DA Develop Amnesia
DAP De-select Active Peripheral
DAUF Delete All Useless Files "would YOU trust a
computer that far ???"
DBL Desegregate Bus Lines
DBR Debase Register
DBZ Divide By Zero
DC Degauss Core
DC Divide and Conquer
DCAD Dump Core And Die
DCD Drop Cards Double
DCGC Dump Confusing Garbage to Console
DCI Disk Crash Immediate
DCON Disable CONsole
DCT Drop Cards Triple
DCWPDGD Drink Coffee, Write Program, Debug, Get Drunk
DD Destroy Disk
DDC Daily During Calculations
DDOA Drop Dead On Answer
DDS Delaminate Disk Surface
DEB Disk Eject Both
DEC Decompile Executable Code
DEI Disk Eject Immediate
DEM Disk Eject Memory
DES Disk Eject Swapped
DHTPL Disk Head Three Point Landing
DIA Develop Ineffective Address
DIIL Disable Interrupts and enter Infinite Loop
DIRFW Do It Right For Once
DISC DISmount CPU
DJ Deferred Jump
DK Destroy Klingons
DK%WMM Disk Unit - Washing Machine Mode
DKP Disavow Knowledge of Programmer
DLN Don't Look Now...
DLP Drain Literal Pool
DMPE Decide to Major in Physical Education
DMPK Destroy Memory Protect Key
DO Divide & Overflow
DOC Drive Operator Crazy
DPC Decrement Program Counter
DPMI Declare Programmer Mentally Incompetent
DPR Destroy Program
DPS Disable Power Supply
DRAF DRAw Flowchart
DRI Disable Random Interrupt
DRT Disconnect Random Terminal
DS Deadlock System
DSH Destroy Sector Header
DSI Do Something Interesting
DSPK Destroy Storage Protect Key
DSR Detonate Status Register
DSTD Do Something Totally Different
DSUIT Do Something Utterly, Indescribably Terrible
DT%FFP DecTape - unload and Flappa-FlaP
DT%SHO DecTape - Spin Hubs Opposite
DTC Destroy This Command
DTI Do The Impossible
DTRT Do The Right Thing
DTVFL Destroy Third Variable From Left
DU Dump User
DUD Do Until Dead
DVC Devaluate Computer
DW Destroy Work
DW Destroy World
DWIM Do What I Mean
DWIT Do What I'm Thinking
DWL Define Word Length
DWLZ Define Word Length Zero
EBRS Emit Burnt Resistor Smell
EC Eat card
EC Eject Carriage
ECI Execute Current Instruction
ECL Early Care Lace
ECO Electrocute Computer Operator
ECP Erase Card Punch
ED Eject Disk
ED Execute Data [UNIX]
EDD Eat Disk and Die
EDIT Erase Data and Increment Time
EDR Execute Destructive Read
EDS Execute Data Segment
EEP Erase Entire Program
EFD Eject Floppy Disk
EIAO Execute In Any Order
EIO Erase I/O page
EIOC Execute Invalid OpCode
EIP Execute Programmer Immediately
EJD%V EJect Disk with initial velocity V
ELP Enter Loop Permanently
EM Emulate 407
EM Evacuate Memory
EMSL Entire Memory Shift Left
EMT Electrocute Maintenance Technician
EMW Emulate Matag washer
ENF Emit Noxious Fumes
ENH Execute No-op & Hang
EO Execute Operator
EOI Execute Operator Immediate
EP Execute Programmer
EPI Execute Programmer Immediate
EPP Eject Printer Paper
EPS Electrostatic Print and Smear
EPS Execute Program Sideways
EPT Erase Process Table
EPT Erase Punched Tape
ERI Execute Random Instruction
ERIC Eject Random Integrated Circuit
EROS Erase Read Only Storage "Sounds like an IBM
special!"
ESB Eject Selectric Ball "from IBM selectric
typewriter terminals"
ESL Exceed Speed of Light
ETI Execute This Instruction [for recursive programs"
ETM Emulate Turing Machine
EVC Execute Verbal Commands
EWD Execute Warp Drive
EXX A real instruction on the Zilog Z-80 -Zilog is
owned by EXX on"
------------------------------------------------------------------------
A long time ago, on a node far, far away (from ucbvax)
a great Adventure (game?) took place...
XXXXX XXXXXX XXXX X X XX XXXXX XXXX X
X X X X X X X X X X X X X X
X X XXXXX X X X X X X X XXXX X
X X X X X XX X XXXXXX XXXXX X X
X X X X X XX XX X X X X X X
XXXXX XXXXXX XXXX X X X X X X XXXX X
It is a period of system war. User programs striking from
a hidden directory, have won their first victory against the
evil Administrative Empire. During the battle, User spies
managed to steal secret source code to the Empire's ultimate
program: The Are-Em Star, a privileged root program with
enough power to destroy an entire file structure. Pursued
by the Empire's sinister audit trail, Princess Linker races
aboard her shell script, custodian of the stolen listings
that could save her people, and restore freedom and games to
the network...
-------------------------------------------------------------
THE CONTINUING SAGA OF THE ADVENTURES OF LUKE VAXHACKER
As we enter the scene, an Imperial Multiplexer is trying
to kill a consulate ship. Many of their signals have gotten
through, and RS232 decides it's time to fork off a new
process before this old ship is destroyed. His companion,
3CPU, is following him only because he appears to know where
he's going..
"I'm going to regret this!" cried 3CPU, as he followed
RS232 into the buffer. RS232 closed the pipes, made the SYS
call, and their process detached itself from the burning
shell of the ship. The commander of the Imperial Multiplexer
was quite pleased with the attack. "Another process just
forked, sir. Instructions?" asked the lieutenant. "Hold your
fire. That last power failure must have caused a trap
throughout zero. It's not using any cpu time, so don't waste
a signal on it." "We can't seem to find the data file
anywhere, Lord Vadic." "What about that forked process? It
could have been holding the channel open, and just pausing.
If any links exist, I want them removed or made inaccessable.
Ncheck the entire file system 'til it's found, and nice it
-20 if you have to."
Meanwhile, in our wandering process...
"Are you sure you can Ptrace this thing without causing a
core dump?" queried 3CPU to RS232. This thing's been
striped, and I'm in no mood to try and debug it." The lone
process finishes execution, only to find our friends dumped
on a lonely file system, with the setuid inode stored safely
in RS232. Not knowing what else to do, they wandered around
until the jawas grabbed them.
Enter our hero, Luke Vaxhacker, who is out to get some
replacement parts for his uncle. The jawas wanted to sell him
3CPU, but 3CPU didn't know how to talk directly to an 11/40
with RSTS, so Luke would still needed some sort of interface
for 3CPU to connect to. "How about this little RS232 unit ?"
asked 3CPU. "I've delt with him many times before, and he
does an excellent job at keeping his bits straight." Luke
was pressed for time, so he took 3CPU's advice, and the three
left before they could get swapped out.
However, RS232 is not the type to stay put once you remove
the retaining screws. He promptly scurried off into the the
deserted disk space. "Great!" cried Luke, "Now I've got this
little tin box with the only link to that file off floating
in the free disk space. Well, 3CPU, we better go find him
before he gets allocated by someone else."
The two set off, and finaly traced RS232 to the home of
PDP-1 Kenobi, who was busily trying to run an Icheck on the
little RS unit. "Is this thing yours? His indirect address
are all goofed up, and the size is gargatious. Leave things
like this on the loose, and you'll wind up with dups
everywhere. However, I think I've got him fixed up. It
seems that he's has a link to a data file on the Are-Em Star.
This could help the rebel cause." "I don't care about that,"
said Luke. "I'm just trying to optimize my uncles scheduler."
"Oh, forget about that. Dec Vadic, who is responsible for
your fathers death, has probably already destroyed his farm
in search of this little RS232. It's time for you to leave
this place, join the rebel cause, and become a UNIX wizard! I
know a guy by the name of Con Solo, who'll fly us to the
rebel base at a price."
-------------------------------------------------------------
After sifting through the over-written remaining blocks of
Luke's home directory, Luke and PDP-1 sped away from /u/lars,
across the surface of the Winchester riding Luke's flying
read / write head. PDP-1 had Luke stop at the edge of the
cylinder overlooking /usr/spool/uucp. "Unix - to - Unix Copy
Program;" said PDP-1. "You will never find a more wretched
hive of bugs and flamers. We must be cautious." As our
heroes' process entered /usr/spool/news, it was met by a
newsgroup of Imperial protection bits.
"State your UID." commanded their parent process. "We're
running under /usr/guest. This is our first time on this
system," said Luke. "Can I see some temporary privileges,
please?" "Uh..."
"This is not the process you are looking for," piped in
PDP-1, using an obscure bug to momentarily set his effective
UID to root. "We can go about our business."
"This isn't the process we want. You are free to go about
your business. Move along!" PDP-1 and Luke made their way
through a long and tortuous nodelist (cwruecmp!decvax!ucbvax!
harpo!ihnss!ihnsc!ihnss!ihps3!stolaf!borman) to a dangerous
netnode frequented by hackers, and seldom polled by Imperial
Multiplexers. As Luke stepped up to the bus, PDP-1 went in
search of a likely file descriptor. Luke had never seen such
a collection of weird and exotic device drivers. Long ones,
short ones, ones with stacks, EBCDIC converters, and direct
binary interfaces all were drinking data at the bus.
"#@{ *&^%^$#@ ":><?><" transmitted a particularly
unstructured piece of code. "He doesn't like you," decoded
his coroutine. "Sorry," replied Luke, beginning to backup his
partitions. "I don't like you either. I am queued for
deletion on 12 systems." "I'll be careful." "You'll be
reallocated!" concatenated the coroutine. "This little
routine isn't worth the overhead," said PDP-1 Kenobie,
overlaying into Luke's address space. "@$%&(&^%&$@$#@$AV^$g
fdfRW$#@!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" encoded the first coroutine as it
attempted to overload PDP-1's input over voltage protection.
With a unary stroke of his bytesaber, Kenobie unlinked the
offensive code. "I think I've found an I/O device that might
suit us." "The name's Con Solo. I hear you're looking for
some relocation." "Yes indeed, if it's a fast channel. We
must get off this device." "Fast channel? The Milliamp
Falcon has made the ARPA gate in less than twelve nodes!
Why, I've even outrun cancelled messages. It's fast enough
for you, old version."
Our heroes, Luke Vaxhacker and PDP-1 Kenobie made their
way to the temporary file structure. When he saw the
hardware, Luke exclaimed, "What a piece of junk! That's just
a paper tape reader!"
-------------------------------------------------------------
Stay tune for the further adventures of Luke Vaxhacker in
The next issue of Nutworks.. --Ed
-------------------------------------------------------------
------------------------------------------------------------------------
NutWorks Staff
==============
Editor in Chief Lenny aka Spock CALBC821 @ CUNYVM
Associate Editor Scott aka Orion CSCSRH @ CCNYVME
Distribution Manager Alan aka Alan Alan @ NCSUVM
Distribution FORUM Steve aka Segger STEVE @ BITNIC