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                `888' nyquil #6 `888'

                     ---+ nyquil issue number six +---

   ... here we go with nyquil number six. as you might have figured out
   reptile put together nyquil five all by himself, good job reptile.
   as mentioned in previous issues, sites have been handed out to several
   people. I do not remember all of the sites, so please remind me if you
   have one so i can compile a site list or something ... 

   ... in other news, i have been very pleased at the number of captures,
   ascii's, etc. there are just so many of them. many people who give me
   a submission keep asking me if their submission will be released. all
   i can say is to be patient. eventually yours will be put out, but there
   are no promises as to when. so keep the jokes and stuff up, remember
   that creativity counts ...

                       ---+ info on the presentor +---

   ... this issue is brought to you by shattered image. he does a very
   spectacular job of pretending to be a young gay boy who has a hot
   dog stuck in his butt ...


   ... [ this logged account has been edited for maximum content ] ...



    Footsy Smooth_NC jeffy LetItGrow gayboyz SwimMan Underlord @Wookster
    @FlBoy BiScott @RFF Mal-ach @Deep @thry3 Demigod H2OPOLO majortom3
    majortom2 
<Stuck> i got some problems
<Stuck> can someoen help me? i am not sure what to do

<Wookster> stuck: what?        

<Stuck> well.. my bf went away 2 weeks ago.. and i was kinda lonely.. so i
        started to experiment wth foods.. like a hotdog... and well... it
<Stuck> kinda... broke :(

<b-man> Stuck, probably good to see a doctor. And get a dildo. It's much
        safer.
[Mal-ach!edelsohn@hamoa.mhpcc.edu] you should just be able to shit it out
                                   eventually -- it shouldn't do any damage
<Stuck> and i think it would be too embarrasing to goto the doctor :(
<b-man> Doctors see everything these days. they won't care.
<Stuck> i have taken exlax for the last week. and it doesnt help me...

<Wookster> stuck: oh shit...  Get a real coarse screw or big drill bit drive
           it up the center a ways and then pull it out..  would it work?
[*mal-ach*] i have tried.. when i try to shit.. it hurts.. and just wont come
            out
<Mal-ach> Are you saying that you haven't had a BM in a week?        
<b-man> drill bit? No, he could injure himself!
<Stuck> butt massage?

<Mal-ach> If the hot dog has created an impaction, get to a doctor
          immediately!
<Stuck> its the family doctor.. and she might tell my folks
<Wookster> stuck: is the hot dog real soft or hard?
<Stuck> and i dont like being naken in front of women either :(
<Stuck> i think its getting moldy
<Mal-ach> stuck: can you visit a friend's doctor        

<Mal-ach> stuck: this can be very dangerous -- do not fool around
<Stuck> how would i aproach a doctor for something like this?
<b-man> Just tell the doctor! No big deal.

<karp> If your worried about it, go to a doctor you don't know

<Stuck> can it be sucked out mabye? (stupid idea.. but is it possible? maybe
        with a vaccuum cleaner?)

<Mal-ach> stuck: just tell the doctor that you stuck a hot dog up your ass
<elude> anyone into the prvt thing?
<Stuck> what if i drank some drayno?
<Mal-ach> stuck: they may try an enema to soften it and have it come out
          naturally
<DSE> prvt thing?
<Mal-ach> stuck: drano is just plain stupid        
[Vessago!jby2v@faraday.clas.Virginia.EDU] Did you really do that?  Don't 
   worry too much, since doctors encounter this all the time, at least 
   it's not a gerbal or something.        
[Vessago!jby2v@faraday.clas.Virginia.EDU] I know a person who works in an
  emergancy room, and she sees it lotsa times.  People just do that sort of
  thing.
[*vessago*] yes i did.. :(..
<Wookster> stuck: that would kill yourself!
<Stuck> what about.. tweasers?

<Jayson-19> talk about gullable        

[Vessago!jby2v@faraday.clas.Virginia.EDU] I'm sure you're quite scared about
  it, though, I know I would be.  I remember a time  when I got a m&m 
  stuck up my nose.. all I had to do was blow my nose though.
[Vessago!jby2v@faraday.clas.Virginia.EDU] Have you tried shitting?

[Vessago!jby2v@faraday.clas.Virginia.EDU] How old are you, by the way?                                                         <Wookster> stuck: what about going to the ER at a local hospital?

<Stuck> jayson,, thank you.. dont believe me.. its true.

<Mal-ach> stuck: go to a doctor or to a hospital
<Jayson-19> stuck, yeah right
[Vessago!jby2v@faraday.clas.Virginia.EDU] And hasn't anyone ever warned you
  properly to never use ANYTHING but a real cock, dildo, or finger before??

<Mal-ach> stuck: doctors have seen just about everything.
[*vessago*] i am 19..... and i have tried shitting.. and the shit comes out
            the sides.. it gets real messyy too
[*vessago*] no.. no one has :(.. an now i know
<Mal-ach> stuck: just don't wait much longer
<Stuck> and it really hurts when i sit sometimes...

[Vessago!jby2v@faraday.clas.Virginia.EDU] Luckily, I had an older friend who
  provided some advice to me on this subject.
[Vessago!jby2v@faraday.clas.Virginia.EDU] I'm really sorry... Hmm.. how long
               has it been up there?                     
[*vessago*] 4 days...
[Mal-ach!edelsohn@hamoa.mhpcc.edu] I would go an emergency room tonight 
[*mal-ach*] thanx.. i think i will do that tomorrow though...
[Vessago!jby2v@faraday.clas.Virginia.EDU] Look, you're just gonna have to go
  to a doctor, if not, things might get worse, and then you'll REALLY be in
  trouble.  I know it's easier said than done, but you have to.  Make an
  appointment with a stranger doctor, and go.  Please, do it!
[*vessago*] ok.. thatis what i will do.. i guess i have no other choice
[Mal-ach!edelsohn@hamoa.mhpcc.edu] it sounds more like it has rotated around
  and become stuck transversely in your colon        

[*mal-ach*] that's what it feels like.. but it is getting kinda numb
[Vessago!jby2v@faraday.clas.Virginia.EDU] I don't think you do, bud.  It
just one of those hard, embarrasing moments in life.. it could be worse! I
  wish you the best of luck with it, okay?        
[*vessago*] ok thanx alot.. better than getting a baseball bat up there, 
   eh? :)
[Mal-ach!edelsohn@hamoa.mhpcc.edu] This could cause a lot of damage        

[Mal-ach!edelsohn@hamoa.mhpcc.edu] I know that it is extremely embarrassing
[Vessago!jby2v@faraday.clas.Virginia.EDU] Hehehehe.. that's the spirit! 
 I just don't want it to get infected or spread bacteria or something.  I'm
  only 17, but I'm certainly not stupid.
[*mal-ach*] ok thanx alot... i think i am gonna go now and make some calls
[Mal-ach!edelsohn@hamoa.mhpcc.edu] but this could puncture your colon and the
  impaction could cause other problems        
[b-man!barryy@seawolf.rs.itd.umich.edu] Good. OK to tell your doctor about
  this.                 
[*vessago*] ok.. i am going now :). thanx alot bud
[Mal-ach!edelsohn@hamoa.mhpcc.edu] I don't mean to scare you                
[*mal-ach*] thats ok.. i need to know what might happen
[*mal-ach*] ok i am leaving now to make some calls.. ok?
[Vessago!jby2v@faraday.clas.Virginia.EDU] You're welcome!  But, wait!                /msg vessago what[*vessago*] what
[Mal-ach!edelsohn@hamoa.mhpcc.edu] but you have waited more than long enough
  to let nature solve this        
[Mal-ach!edelsohn@hamoa.mhpcc.edu] good luck, bye           
[*mal-ach*] bye and thanx

[Vessago!jby2v@faraday.clas.Virginia.EDU] Because I'm worried and care, 
  PLEASE PROMISE ME that you'll e-mail me at oybr@faraday.clas.Virginia.EDU 
  and let me know how things turn out, okay?  Write it down. :)
<Vessago> B-Man: I understand, but I'll say again in this channel, that even
          though I'm 17, my two best friends in the whole world are 47 and 40.
          :)
[*vessago*] ok thanx alot..i am outta here :)

... [ editors notes ] ...

    ... again, you might not have found that funny at all. a few people
    have said they really do not find nyquil that funny. that is fine with
    me and that is their opinion. but if you really do not like nyquil, go
    ahead and submit something to try and improve it ...

  ... email me at paler@netcom.com or call unseen fate @ 408-554-8536 ...

---+ end of nyquil number six