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??????????????????????????????????????? Orange Cats Are Pretty.
? ????????????????????????????? ??????????? Author:Misguided Youth/Zorro T.A.
?????????????????????????????????????????????????Date Of Release:06/26/93
????????????????????????????????????????????????????????Time Of Release:12:28:am
?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
?????????????????????????????????????????Issue?7?Of?OCAP??????????????
??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
??????????????????????????????????
?Dedicated? ????? ? ????If you are offended by the topic
To Freedome of speech, ? ??listed below,delete this file.
Freedom Of Press, And any
other civil liberty we can exploit.
???????????????????The PROPER way to make Beef Jerky!???????????????????????????
Okay Folks,This is a REALLY cooky spiffy
Kinda issue.So I hope you enjoy it, And Learn something.
(Remember The Disclaimer!)
Okay, Today in OCAP,I will be teaching you how
to make beef jerky without being bothered by,
a> Stupid Ghandi assholes asking a buck twentyfive for .55 ounces
of beef jerky.
b> The goddamned law and FCC... Sorry to be the one to break this to
you, But beef jerky emits harmful nuclear radiation.
(Really makes you want some huh) Well Read up and you will
be rotting your brains eating this crap by the end of the day.
First thing ya need.
---------
-=Hamburger=-
---------
The same hamburger you
pass up every time you
are at the store,Cuz
you have seen it there
for the past 2 months
decaying and being poked
by small children in the
carts,Being pushed by
small,stupid,nieve
parents. It should be
grey, With a slight
greenish blue tinge.
----------------
-=Herbs And Spices=-
----------------
You will need to get at least
2 pounds of the most repulsive
, Smelling,Tasting,LOOKING
spice you can lay your grubby
little hands on. Usually
its like, 5 parts hamburger,
6 parts pepper (black)
9 parts salts
11 parts rat feces
27 parts chilli powder
99 parts nothing
---------
-=Road Kill=-
---------
I am also very sorry that I had
to be the one to tell you, Most
popular brands of meat snack,
(The ones processed more than PI)
Have at least 47% RoadKill,
(Yes,Scraped from the very roads
you live near).
The rest of the ingredients for beef jerky
are mainly rat tails and string. Now this is how you
process it.
Put ALL of this shit in a REALLY big box. <---- Optional
Then you yammer it all into a can, Get a knife or
other really sharp thing, And just kinda push it around
in there, AS to cut it ALL up of the ingredients.
Once done, place contents of can, Into a food processor,
for further processing. Then Switch it to the highest
possible speed. Let it get its jollys for a few minutes.
(At this point, You may blow up any small animal \\\
(Other than Pretty Orange Kitty's that is) and \\\
shove it in the REALLY big box and let the smell >>>--> Optional
get REALLY out of hand,as to attract any small buisness ///
owners, Look for a new trademark food) ///
(A few days later)
Take the "substance" out of the food processor
and pour onto a cookie sheet. And spread evenly over
the whole thing. Then cut into small strips and
put into oven at 400c (pre-heated). Keep in oven
for 9 hours at 400c ,as to completely dehydrate
them. Remember, If they had *ANY* moisture at
all, It wouldn't be REAL beef jerky.
You know that you did it right,If it
looks like the surprise spot left on your lawn
this morning, and it smells like a well oiled
yak snatch. It will also tastes like
REAL beef jerky. (Nasty)
This has been a really stupid
issue of OCAP, When I wrote
this, I was under the influence
of Tap Water, And a really
big box. I really hope you
didn't like this file,I don't
even know why I am releasing it.
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??????????????????????????????????????????For?OCAP?Support?Call???????????? ?
????????????????? ???? ??????????????(203)NOT-YET!???????????????????????????? ?
?????????????????????????????????????Sorry,No?OCAP?WHQ?Yet!??????????????????? ?
?????????????????????????????????????But?may?be?within?a?month!???????????? ?
????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????