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+= poor old ugly pompous electronic yams #3 =+
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+= "Is poo-poo one word or two?" - Nybar =+
... .. .. . .
YO BITCHES
- joltcola
we've picked up a new writer, the pilsbury fro boy. bf said he would write,
but i haven't gotten his submission yet. oh well.
-
... .. .. . .
TABLE OF CONTENTS
1; yo bitches - joltcola
2; the truth about republicans - nybar
3; the night before lab - the pilsbury fro boy
4; mission 29843198273 (the truth about republicans #2[yes, we're poupey, and
we're not afraid to have two parts of a series in one 'zines])
5; writer's bios
... .. .. . .
THE TRUTH.. ABOUT.. REPUBLICANS!!!!!! -Nybar..
tI lla detrats kcab ni sb.. OH FORGET IT!
I WILL NOT BE BRIDED INTO TELLING IT IN.. BACKWORDS WRITING!
FIRST... THERE WAS COLONEL SANDERS! HE RULED HIS REALM BY MIND
CONTROLLING CHICKENS!!!!!!! HE WAS LOVED BY NONE AND FEARED BY ALL!!
THEN.. THERE CAME REBELLION!! NYBAR
AND HIS MINIONS BROUGHT HIM DOWN
.. BIG TIME!!! BUT HE STILL SECRETLY PLANNED!! REMEMBERING THE POWERFUL
DAYS OF OLD, HE BOUGHT A CHICKEN FRANCHISE!!!!! Then, he put his mind
controlling additives in certain chickens. The ones which would reach
important people. It made them vote against good sense. They formed a
council. THE COUNCIL
OF THE THEM!!! It's nerve center includes..
The money man, Walt Disney. The power handeler.. Richard Nixon himself.
The hidden members... JFK and Elvis.. (they're deaths were faked, then
they were brought before the council.) there funnel, Clinton, and the
puppetmaster Colnel Sanders. They formed a new party, republicans, with
ease. I control resistance. I have on my side, Joltcola (worthless, but
helps me write this `zine,) Snakeface, my best
field agent, and a
brilliant general/politician. Mr.Mojo, intelligence commander. He runs
5 tabloids (which are true) and he has recently gotten the info of the
leadership of the Council of the Them. Then, there is The Pillsbury Fro
Boy. His fro is so big, it has 5 major
cities in it. He is my power broker.
He supplies the men for my operation (called STEMAN, IN YOUR HEAD's...
little 4 armed creatures who live in his head.) The world is in a state
of constant trouble. We managed to take out one of they're best people
recently (Nixon.) Still.. we are fighting a losing battle. The nigh
endless supply of Ste-Men is running out. We need new agents. The Council
is about to end this file, they are coming for me. Please.. NO!!!! NOT YET!!
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
HAHHAHAHAHAHA! I LOVE LIFE IN THE FAST LANE! <sounds of gun shots>..
FIN?
... .. .. . .
The Night Before Lab
- The Pilsbury Fro Boy
this was written by nybar and joltcola's brother, the pilsbury fro boy.
it's about conditioning rats (based on the night before christmas).
wolf hall is where class is held, and B.F. Skinner is a pioneer in the
field of conditioning rats to do your bidding.
==POUPEY== <---- divider
'Twas the night before lab;
Class had just been let out
All the rats
They were stirring
Because they wanted out
To their boxes
We took them
And placed them with care
In hopes that
B.F. Skinner soon
Would be there
The students were nestled
In their small little cells
While the rats went to the bathroom
It emitted a smell
My labmates
In their kerchiefs
And me with my FR0
The 2nd day
Of shaping our rats we did go
When outside of McKinely there arose such a clatter
I jumped from my cubical to see what was the matter
Over to Wolf Hall i sped in a dash
Climed up the stairs and tripped over the trash
The rain from the
Street that I
Saw from afar
Gave a glint to the street
That waxed of film noir
The sight i then saw it did knock me flat
Spome old guy on skates pulled along by eight rats
Could it be Santa Clause?
No; this guy was thinner
And i know in a minute it must be B.F. Skinner
More rapid than field mice
Because conditioned they came
And he hooted and hollered and called them byname:
"Now Jerry! Now Speedy! Now Ralph S.! And Micky!
On Algernon! Sabastian! Pinky! and Minny!
To the top of the building
To the top of Wolf Hall
Now scurry and scamper and dash away all!"
As ungraded papers berfore a whirlwind do fly
When out the window students throw them,
Mount to the sky
So the the top of Wolf Hall his Rats they flew
With a bag full of pellets
And B.F. Skinner, too
And than in an instant on the roof i did hear
The scratching and scraping of little feet drawing near
I hid in the corner close to the ground
As B.F. broke through the window
Making quite a loud sound
He slipped on the tile
And fell on his ass
His close they were ruffled and cover with glass
A bag full of food pelletes and previous tests
He cluthced in his arms held close to his breast
With a pair of thick glasses,
A coat and a tie,
And a receding hair line
I know by and by;
That this guy was out there
Which made me afraid
But i knew if he helped us we'd get a good grade
He fed all the Rats while through the darkness he lurked
And than Cical came in and said "Get out of here, jerk!"
Skinner's eyes grew nearly as wide as a grape
As he sped up the emergency fire escape
He slipped on his skates
Which indeed were quite big
As his Rats scampered off sort of doing a jig
But as his rats pulled him off i did hear him say
"Opereant conditioning shapes behavior as a sculptor shapes clay"
... .. .. . .
Mission 50235 -Nybar
This is a modified report of our biggest success since the
original de-throning of Colonel Sanders. It is the real account
of what happened to Richard Nixon.
<HELLO MY NAME IS BRAKKKKKKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!!!!>
-----------------------------------------------
Nybar was reading the ste-man in you head reports. Mixed reports.
The Pillsbury Fro Boy (AKA BraveHair) was training rats to do the
duties of Ste-Men.. and the Council of the Them (AKA THEY) had taken
our secondary base.. complete with 500,000 good men.. ste men. It paled
in comparison next to what Nybar < I AM TALKING IN THE THIRD PERSON!! >
, Mr. Mojo, and Snakeface were going to attempt. They were going to blow
the lid off of The Council of the Thems main source of political power
at the time. Pretty boy Richard Nixon himself.
-------------------------------------------------------------
ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ .. SNORE!!!!!!
------------------------------------------------------------
The first few parts went fairly smoothly. Mr. Mojo
Overrided the security lasers, Snakeface took out the guards
(by biting them.. lethal immediatly.) The real trouble started when
I confronted Richy. He was prepared for me. I walked into the room..
and saw a.. GIANT DEATH ROBOT!!!!!! It started shooting missiles at me
.. while saying "EVEN IF YOU TAKE ME.. YOU WILL NEVER STOP THE WEB
DECENCY ACT!!!!!". for the missiles, I simply dodged. One of them, using
my high velocity repeller <neat name.. isn't it?> and shot it back at him
, making a hole big enough for me to dump a bucket of water into, shorting
his circuits. From there.. it was fairly simple to beat him to death.
FIN <damn fish>
.... .. .... ..... ...... .........
FORIN <Joltcola is teaching me to be elete> STORY
One day I was pawing through a foriegn language book.
It vas neat. So.. I saw that it said popah meant butt, and dinazar
means dinasour. So I walked up to joltcola and said "You Dinazar's
Popah!!"
()_/-/---/---/-----/------/--------/---------/----------/-----/_()
He.. not understanding.. said "AND PROUD!" Then I started laughing
. Then he started laughing. Then a big fat calf walked in and started
laughing. It was beautiful. Then.. I became a real boy.
Fin <forin!!>
..... .... .. . ..
writer's bios - JOLT FUCKING COLA and nybar
we're HoE and dto posers[tm], we're doing bios for all our writers.
nybar - (by joltcola)
comin' from the mean streets of delaware this k-cool cat spends his
time calling bbs's and playing muds. every once in a while he'll write a
hilarious issue of poupey. he's convinced that the appocolypse is coming and
that cats will be the only survivors. sometimes he lays in bed at night
wishing he were an elf.
Turn-ons: cats
Turn-offs: republicans
joltcola - (by nybar)
from the stinking suburbs of newark.. DE, come gansta boy JC.
He enjoys going on IRC channels with the name "Bigtits"
and laughing at cyber-sex. he is obsessed with infomercials.. and cheese.
the cats are beating him up all the time. he is conviced that the
apocolypse will never happen.. BUT IT WILL DAMNIT!
Turn-ons: naked men
Turn-offs: naked men he knows
Pillsbury Fro Boy -(by nybar)
The brainchild of a mad invenetor working at pilsbury central, he was
cursed with dangerously large hair. he was kicked out of his birth
place (the lab.) since then, he has invited everyone to come and stay
in his hair. He has gone through a period of refinement, from which
he emerged COMPLETELY CRAZY!! (and with bigger hair)
Turn-ons: Cookie Dough
Turn-offs: Short hair
.... .............. .. .. . ..
Fat Bald and proud
jolt ... cola
i'm addicted to flinstones vitamins!@# ayieeeeeeeeeeeeeee. i like to play
ping pong....... with goggles on. "jc, play better" inspirational isn't it?
if you're ever going to make a 'zine remember puncation is your enemy! gorf.
nybar is looking over my shoulder. he wears sweatpants a lot. they're blue.
MMMMM I LIKE HOMEFRIES. that many could kill you@!# sigh. heheheh :) :) :)
heheheh !!!!!!! hehehe :) lish!!!!!!!!!!!1 florm gorf hoggle.
... .. .
the end
poupey #3 - sponsored by bF