💾 Archived View for gemini.spam.works › mirrors › textfiles › magazines › PUD › pud_3_10.txt captured on 2022-06-12 at 14:06:39.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-
.COMMENT: THE BUTTON "CATTLE MUTILATIONS" WILL GIVE YOUR GOLDPAX HYPE v2.1A
.COMMENT: A RUNTIME ERROR. WHY?? WE DON'T KNOW!! INSPECT IT YOURSELF!!
.COMMENT: THERE'S NOTHING WRONG - WHY DOESN'T IT JUST SAY THERE ISN'T A
.COMMENT: TOPIC CALLED THAT??? WHY DON'T I TURN OFF MY CAPSLOCK KEY???
.COMMENT: THESE ARE QUESTIONS THAT NEED TO BE ANSWERED!!!!
.COMMENT: IT GIVES YOU A RUNTIME ERROR, SO I LEFT IT THAT WAY.
.COMMENT: EVIL!! I'M EVIL!!
.TOPIC:MAIN
.COMMENT:
:):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):)
:):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):)
:):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):)
:):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):)
:):):):????????????????????):?????????:):):):?????????:???????????????:):):):):)
:):):)??????????????????????:):?????:):):):):):?????:):):???????????????:):):):)
:):):)??????:):):):):):)?????):?????:):):):):):?????:):):?????:):):):?????:):):)
:):):)?????):):):):):):):????):?????:):):):):):?????:):):?????:):):):?????:):):)
:):):)?????):):):):):):):????):?????:):):):):):?????:):):?????:):):):?????:):):)
:):):)?????):):):):):):):????):?????:):):):):):?????:):):?????:):):):?????:):):)
:):):)??????:):):):):):)?????):?????:):):):):):?????:):):?????:):):):?????:):):)
:):):)??????????????????????:):?????:):):):):):?????:):):?????:):):):?????:):):)
:):):)?????????????????????):):?????:):):):):):?????:):):?????:):):):?????:):):)
:):):)?????):):):):):):):):):):?????:):):):):):?????:):):?????:):):):?????:):):)
:):):)?????):):):):):):):):):):?????:):):):):):?????:):):?????:):):):?????:):):)
:):):)?????):):):):):):):):):):?????:):):):):):?????:):):?????:):):):?????:):):)
:):):)?????):):):):):):):):):):?????:):):):):):?????:):):?????:):):):?????:):):)
:):):)?????):):):):):):):);):):?????:):):):):):?????:):):?????:):):):?????:):):)
:):):)?????):):):):):):):):):):?????:):):):):):?????:):):?????:):):):?????:):):)
:):):)?????):):):):):):):):):):?????????????????????:):):???????????????:):):):)
:):):)?????):):):):):):):):):):)???????????????????):):???????????????:):):):):)
:):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):)
:):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):)
:):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):)
:):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):)
:):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):)
:):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):)
:):):):):):??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????):):):):):)
:):):):):):? ~Cattle Mutilations~ ?):):):):):)
:):):):):):? ~Job Hunting~ ?):):):):):)
:):):):):):? ~CORRECTION~ ?):):):):):)
:):):):):):? WHaT'S In ?????????????????????????????????? mI IDe Ha ?):):):):):)
:):):):):):? THiS K-K0 ?:):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):)? RD DRiVE ?):):):):):)
:):):):):):? 0L IssUe ?:):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):)? HaZ N0 Ba ?):):):):):)
:):):):):):? of PuD, d ?:):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):)? D SeCTuRz ?):):):):):)
:):):):):):? U0D? Iz I ?:):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):)? Or AnYTHi ?):):):):):)
:):):):):):? t EXtERNa ?:):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):)? Ng LiKE T ?):):):):):)
:):):):):):? L Or INtE ?:):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):)? HaT! Itz ?):):):):):)
:):):):):):? RNaL, dU0 ?:):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):)? a K-L0K ?):):):):):)
:):):):):):? D?!?!!11? ?????????????????????????????????? DaTs WHy! ?):):):):):)
:):):):):):? ~Button:Addresses Text:Other Stuff~ ?):):):):):)
:):):):):):? ~Inside Information~ ?):):):):):)
:):):):):):? ~Button:[MaF] Text:[MaF] ASCii Gallery II~ ?):):):):):)
:):):):):):??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????):):):):):)
:):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):)
:):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):)
:):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):)
[MaF]):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):)
.END:MAIN
---------------
.TOPIC:Cattle Mutilations
.WINDOW:
.END:Cattle Mutilations
---------------
.TOPIC:CORRECTION
.WINDOW:5,0,6,0,7,0,5,5,70,17
Even with the welterweight of NC's death on our shoulders, PuD
continues to be the most prestigous and most outspoken K_RaD T/FiLE
there is. However, even the divine chosen ones here in LiMA make
mistakes. Well, they're not mistakes. They're just changes in plan
which are later elaborated on. Yhea.
Anyway, last night as I was sleeping I had a dream...
"Mandy... Mandy... Wake up, honey."
"Whu... whu.. huh?"
"Mandy... It's me... NC... Your former S&M sex fiend lust slave."
"Huh? I'm still a virgin though! ...can you turn in to a dog?"
"Mandy... I'm not your mom, and thank goodness I am not your
brother. I have come to bring you sad news, Mandy, of many
things."
I was unsure about this. Even though NC used to spank me in the
back room of Colombo Yogurt as I had so vehemently demanded,
I was apprehensive about trusting a dead person.
"Uh... NC... What is it you want from me? I gave you lots of free
yogurt when you were alive... What do you want now?"
"Mandy, You have taken my place in many areas of my past existence.
It is very important that you let things be known... things that
I would of let known if I had the time..."
"But NC, I hate the world. I hate everybody. I am not even a
member of my own family anymore. Why would I want to let
public earth-shattering information that would save this
god-forsaken planet?"
"Do it for me, Mandy. Think of all of our good times together...
Walking in the park... Clog-Dancing at the Western Sizzler...
Throwing cats in front of Jeff's House... Do you remember when we
liberated that pylon in your own frontyard? Wasn't that fun?
Don't you want to feel that good about yourself again? The way to
do it is to simply let known what I have to say."
"Uhhh... Ok, what is it that I must tell the world?
"Baphomet and I had a lot of K-K00L phun with PuD. I am glad that
He, Hymie, Crowe and even Squinky continue without me. I am happy
to see the greatness of PuD still influencing every aspect of life
even though I am gone. Baphomet has done well... kill him."
"NC, you said that all I had to do was tell people stuff... you
didn't say I had to kill anybody!"
"Mandy, you're too stupid and too caught up with yourself to
know the difference. Do it anyway."
"But... We're getting married! I love Chris... he's the light
of my life... and the sex isn't bad either... plus, he buys
me things... like Krystals and stuff."
"Take out a big life insurance policy on him after you get
married. Kill him then."
"Ok."
"Is that all you want?"
"No. The most important thing I must make you tell everybody
you see. You must tell everybody you talk to on the
telephone when you get ungrounded. You must tellk this to
every single soul on the planet before you die... and you
never know when you might die."
"What is so important?"
"Like I said earlier, Baphomet and I had lots of PHuN with PuD.
We had lots of things to say. However, before I died, I never
got to mention something that was always on my mind...
Something that screamed for attention so badly that somehow it
was deprived. This something was the force, the root of evil
that gave me reason to publicize my knowledge and perhaps save
a soul fromn this sort of demon. This evil is so dreadful that
it gave me the strength to fight against such lameness and
stupidity. It made me do PuD."
"What is this demon, NC? What is this evil - so evil - that
you could not mention it in PuD in the world of the living?
What is it?
"Mandy my love... my sweetheart... my Pooky-wooky... this evil
is simply the middle name... the middle name of death... the
middle name of evil... the middle name of Satan and all
hellions commanded by him."
"What is this name, NC? What is this name?
"All evils in this dimension feed on the word... they feed on
every syllable... every evil phonetic curve and twist in its
pronounciation. Do you have the nerve to let known this word,
my little cutey-pie?
"Yes NC... I can do it. I can do anything. I can put my
feet behind my head.
"Alright... I shall pass this name unto you, though my soul
will forever slice, dice, and mince in unrest, torment and
strife because of my action. My soul will forever be
stained with the burden of conscience... the conscience of
knowing what I have done. ALL EVIL HAS A NAME, AND IT'S
NAME IS SIMANT."
.END:CORRECTION
---------------
.TOPIC:[MaF]
.WINDOW:15,0,4,0,5,0,1,15,50,13
THE /\/\OOGA /\SCii /=ANATIC ASCii GALLERY II:
An exploration in TheEdlin FONTS
~Outline~
~Big Outline~
~Thick Outline~
~Medium~
~Rounded~
~Small Rounded~
~Raster~
~Shadow~
~Medieval~
.END:[MaF]
-------------
.TOPIC:Outline
.WINDOW:7,0,7,0,7,0,1,1,78,23
???
??? ????
??? ? ?
? ?
??? ????
??? ???
.END:Outline
-------------
.TOPIC:Big Outline
.WINDOW:7,0,7,0,7,0,1,1,78,23
????
?? ??
???? ? ?
???? ? ?
? ?
???? ? ?
???? ?? ??
????
.END:Big Outline
----------------
.TOPIC:Thick Outline
.WINDOW:7,0,7,0,7,0,1,1,78,23
???
??? ????
??? ?? ?
??? ????
.END:Thick Outline
---------
.TOPIC:Medium
.WINDOW:7,0,7,0,7,0,1,1,78,23
??
o ?
o ?
??
.END:Medium
--------------------
.TOPIC:Rounded
.WINDOW:7,0,7,0,7,0,1,1,78,23
?????
?? ????
???? ???
?? ???
???? ????
?????
.END:Rounded
-----------------
.TOPIC:Small Rounded
.WINDOW:7,0,7,0,7,0,1,1,78,23
???
?? ??
?? ??
?? ???
.END:Small Rounded
----------
.TOPIC:Raster
.WINDOW:7,0,7,0,7,0,1,1,78,23
??
?? ??
??
?? ??
??
.END:Raster
-----------
.TOPIC:Shadow
.WINDOW:7,0,7,0,7,0,1,1,78,23
???
??? ????
??? ???
??? ???
??? ????
???
.END:Shadow
------------
.TOPIC:Medieval
.WINDOW:7,0,7,0,7,0,1,1,78,23
??
? ??
?
? ?
?
.END:Medieval
----------
.TOPIC:Inside Information
.WINDOW:12,0,7,0,7,0,1,1,78,23
You Suck.
.END:Inside Information
---------------
.TOPIC:Job Hunting
.WINDOW:9,0,5,0,6,0,1,1,25,7
Look at "OTHER STUFF"
and find out how YOU
can attain a BOISTROUS
career in the T/FiLE
industry!
.END:Job Hunting
--------------------
.TOPIC:Addresses
.WINDOW:4,0,9,0,5,0,1,1,78,23
ROLAND <In my Opinion>???????????
??????????? 1@1 ViRTualNeT ?
Hymie ? ? ? ?
84@2506 ? ? ??????? ???????????? ? ?
WWiV ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? SQUINKY
MPruitt@nyx.cs.du.edu? ? ? ? ? ? ? <dunno>
MPruitt@uahcs2.uah.edu ? ? ? ???????? ? ?
God@Mt.Olympus.Com ????? ? ????? ? ? ?
? ? ? ? ? ?
? ? ? ? ?
Baphomet the Limbo King ? ? ? ? ?
#14@2506 WWiVNET ? ? ? ? ?
CRFISHER@NYX.CS.DU.EDU ?? ? ? ?? ???????????
??? ? ? ??????
?????????? ??? CR0\/\/e
?????????? ? ??? ? ????? ??? 240@2506 WWiVNET
? ?? ? ? ?? ? ? ???????? ???????????
? ????? ? ??? ? ??? ? ????? ?
? ????? ? ?? ? ? ? ????? ? [MaF]
Mandy The Flex-O-Matic ?????? ? ????? ?????????? 1@1 VNeT
#36@2506 WWiVNET ????????? ???
MANDY@COLOMBO.YOGURT.COM ????????? ? MAIL Us, Be K_RaD,
???????????????? ANd Be a PuDidian!
.END:Addresses