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???? ? ? ??? ????????????????????????????????????????????????????????? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? Issue Number 11, Volume 1, Chapter 1, Epic 1 ? ???? ? ? ? ? ? Released on the date: Feb. 23, 1993. ? ? ? ? ? ? ? PUD serving the modem public since Febuary 22, 1993! ? ? ???? ??? ? For help and actual info, look elsewhere. ? ???????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????? ???????? ???????? ?????? ???? ???????? ???? ????????? ??????? ????? ???? ?? ????? ?? ??????? ?????? ?? ??? ??? ? ????? ???? ? ? ? ???? ??? ??? ??? "Squeeze my lemon till the juice runs down my leg..." ? ? ?? -Led Zepplin ? ?? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? Mail ? ? ? ? Fuck it. I am sick of including this section, besides there is ? ? no mail yet. Woopidty. ? ? ? ? ? The Anatomy of a Krystal. ? ? ? ? The krystal is by far the strangest life form on this planet. ? ? Known to most people, the krystal, called sliders in the wild, are ? ? the most ferocious and vile mammals to roam the sewers of Beverly ? ? Hills (90210). They are also quite common in the heights section ? ? of melrose place and by 1996 they are expected to graduate into ? ? the most dominant species in all of lower Florida. ? ? ? ? Cut-Away of a Krystal Cut-Away of a Slider ? ? ? ? bbbbbbbbbbbbbbb -BUN bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbb -BUN ? ? bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbb bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbb ? ? ooooooooooooooooo -ONION mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm -CANDY SHELL ? ? mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm -CANDY SHELL MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM -BRAINS ? ? MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM -BRAINS oooooooooooooooooo -ONION ? ? bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbb bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbb ? ? bbbbbbbbbbbbbbb -BUN bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbb -BUN ? ? ? ? Note the extreme genetic differences in the two species. The ? ? more docile Krystal has the chewy chocalety candy shell on top of ? ? it's brains. Where as the much more aggresive Slider has the chewy ? ? chocalety shell on top of it's brains. Notice, by the extreme ? ? detail of the cut-away's the differences in the sex organs in the ? ? two species. See how much more enlarged the ovaries of the Slider ? ? are than that of the Krystal. Legend has it that on the third ? ? saturday of every month Sliders for some unknown reason take to ? ? commiting mass genocide by rudely casting themselves at country ? ? tour buses full of fat women. Note that this is strangly like that ? ? H0T nEw WaReZ in huntsvegas, Pc Lemmings. ? ? ? ? ? How to steal a toaster. ? ? ? ? By: The BRaVE LItTlE TOaStER ? ? ? ? Theft of toasters can be a very worth while and profitable ? ? occupation. But be forewarned toaster theft is extremely ? ? dangerous, what with large of rash of mysterious taster thief ? ? slayings. These slayings are rumored to be by a one fReD tHe ? ? tOaStEr iS mInE SmItH. He is currently on the SPA top ten hit ? ? list and is wanted for questioning in 62 states. Anyway I digress ? ? let me get back to the TFiLE. To begin with you must make sure ? ? have a valid and great plan. The planning stage is by far the most ? ? important part of the whole process. ? ? Part 1, the plan. Making you plan is the key to your toaster ? ? thievary success. Make sure you have a place to steal a toaster ? ? from. Next make sure you have a get-away vehicle, a 747 would be ? ? suitable. Last make sure you have plent of weapons, machine guns ? ? are not suitable for toaster thievary, but various anti-aircraft ? ? weapons will be. ? ? Part 2, the Execution. Now here is where you kill all your ? ? accomplises. ? ? Part 3, Stealing the Toaster. To steal the toaster simply walk ? ? in, carefully concealing your anti-aircraft weaponry under your ? ? arm. If anyone notices, kill them instantly, but quitely. The key ? ? to stealing a good toaster is avoiding ones with flowerdy prints, ? ? as they are usually cheap and just don't cook your toast right. ? ? Hide the toaster in the crotch of your pants and walk out the ? ? store. ? ? Part 4, The get away. The second you leave the store you must ? ? quickly turn and destroy it, cover your tracks! Next take any ? ? suitable vehicle in the parking lot and head for your plane. Be ? ? sure to destroy all oncoming traffic as you near the airport, no ? ? use in leaving any witnesses alive. When at the airport pick 3 or ? ? 4 attractive stewardesses and maim them seriously. Why? Just for ? ? fun of it. Now board your plane and fly away. The end. ? ? Look for more articles on toaster professions from me, soon. ? ? ? ? ? Closing. ? ? ? ? Did I mention, you still fucking suck. ? ? ? ? ? Mail! ? ? ? ? Keep your sorry-attempts at mail coming! ? ? Baphomet the Limbo King WWIVNET 2506@14 ? ? NO COURiER WWIVNET 2506@36 ? ? ? ?? ?? ?? ? ? ? ??? ??? ?? ?? ? ?? ???? ???? ????? ???? ?? ???? ?????? ?????? ??????? ??????? ???? ?????? ???????? ???????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????? ? End of PUD 1:11, "...and shake it all about..." ? ????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????