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Underground Legion of Terroristic Research Activists
Sinister X --- Agent Cyclone --- Drug Lord
April 9, 1991
Shoplifting the Big Stuff
by: Drug Lord
There are many ways to shoplift and people do it all the time. Most people
play it smart and just steal items that are easily concealed such as
cigarettes, make-up (depending on your gender), candy or small packaged items
off the shelf. It gets kind of risky considering most of these items are under
$5.00 and the result could be jail time if you are caught.
Many people believe that only these small items are shopliftable, but this is
definitely not true. The big items are just as easy and are more worth your
trouble. Here is how to get away with the big stuff.
There are many ways of doing this, and I will just give you the examples
that I have used or that have been used by my friends. By the way, these
have worked EVERY time. First find out the name of the store manager. This
is pretty simple because a lot of stores have a picture of their store manager
at the service desk and have his name below it. If this isn't so, then just
call the store and ask to speak to the head manager. If he isn't in, then ask
his name and a time when he can be reached. Now that you have his name, you
had better write it down and remember it.
On the day that you are going to lift the big stuff, call and ask for this
manager. If he isn't in, then that is the time to do it. Go to the store
and bring a dolly, some rope and whatever else would look good. Park in the
fire lane and leave your trunk open, or just skip that if you have a truck.
Now go into the store and ask for some assistance by a teenage employee. These
work best because they usually won't ask a lot of questions. Get this person
to help you take it off the shelf and load it onto the dolly. This works good
with televisions, stereos, (and even a washer one time). Now that you have an
employee walking out to the car with you, no questions are asked. If someone
does happen to ask you about what you are doing, tell them that you spoke with
Mr. Manager (remembering his name) and just make up some bullshit about it
being for your business or whatever and that you ordered it last week and paid
for it, but didn't get a chance to pick it up. Like I said before though, the
teenagers are the best helpers because they don't want to look like a dumb fuck
by asking for your receipt.
Now that they have loaded it into your car for you, be sure to thank them, and
maybe even tip them. That way they will be happy and won't be suspiscious.
And there you go, you just took something expensive and an employee helped you
along. Don't get paranoid and think that he will remember your license plate
and stuff because he won't.
Don't try this if you are a kid. It will be too obvious that something isn't
right. Even if you are a teenager, make yourself up really nice with a shirt
and tie and be polite as hell. If you look like some scummy bastard then
they will catch on pretty quick. Needless to say you should ALREADY KNOW what
you are going to steal before you go in there. You might want to also have the
model number, etc written down on a yellow legal pad and keep that with you so
you can show it to the employee to further gain his trust (and you make sure you
are getting the right thing).
If someone from management stops you and starts asking questions, then all I can
say is bullshit your way out of it. Tell them that your receipt is at the
home or where you work and that you had spoken with Mr. Manager about it and he
told you to come in and pick it up. However, I've never been stopped. Also,
don't try this at electronics stores, or small type stores. It has to be a big
place with lots of activity such as a K-Mart or a Sears (K-Mart has worked the
best). Even though this may seem like a lot of work, it is worth it when you
get the $500.00+ items for free. Make sure you take it out the front door and
not at some loading dock on the side of the building. That's it.
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You can reach me at Blitzkrieg (502) 499-8933 WWIV @5211 or at the other ULTRA
site at Hall of Injustice (502) 241-9304 WWIV @5210. Be looking for more stuff
coming your way soon. If you'd like to become an ULTRA support board, then get
in touch with us and you can kick some ass as well. See you in the next file!
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No disclaimer cause I don't give a shit if people get offended. This is a text
file and isn't illegal so you FEDS can stay the fuck away. Go suck a dick.