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+======== December 1994 ======================== Volume 2, Number 12 ========+
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|                      [ A JOURNAL OF THE POETIC ARTS ]                      |
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|                               Editor: Klaus J. Gerken                      |
|                    Associate Editors: Paul Lauda                           |
|                                     : Pedro Sena                           |
|                                     : Gay Bost                             |
|                    Production Editor: Igal Koshevoy                        |
|                      European Editor: Milan Georges Djordjevitch           |
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+============================================================================+





  ***************************************************************************
                            [ TABLE OF CONTENTS ]
  ***************************************************************************


      INTRODUCTION................................The Ygdrasil Staff

      Still Matters...............................V.A. Blevins
      Ride........................................Greg Schilling
      Untitled....................................Greg Schilling
      Rat.........................................Scott Lawry
      Poetry......................................Scott Lawry
      Them........................................Scott Lawry
      FLOWERS OF EVIL.............................Klaus J. Gerken
      FRAGMENTS OF A BRIEF ENCOUNTER (I)..........Klaus J. Gerken
      KILLING FIELD (I)...........................Klaus J. Gerken
      and if i should.............................Igal Koshevoy
      midnight roil...............................Igal Koshevoy
      Suburbasomn.................................Igal Koshevoy
      Restless World..............................Terry A. Long
      Days of Fall................................Terry A. Long
      A Simple Time...............................Terry A. Long
      The Cultured Saint..........................Evan Light
      The Great Lament of Sir Vinnie Vinccenzo....Evan Light
      A dream that never was......................Amy St. John
      Friday Nights...............................Amy St. John
      Another Look................................Amy St. John
      While the eyes of heaven smile..............Nicole Eichwald
      You said....................................Nicole Eichwald
      There is something about....................Nicole Eichwald
      The rain is pouring down on me..............Nicole Eichwald
      Margie XVI..................................Vince Otten
      Margie XXII.................................Vince Otten
      Reflection..................................Jennifer Mulcahy
      Harvest.....................................Jennifer Mulcahy
      Change......................................Jennifer Mulcahy
      The feelings of man.........................Jennifer Mulcahy
      Inside......................................Jennifer Mulcahy
      A shallow...................................Jennifer mulcahy
      I won't peak................................Alvin Brinson

      POST SCRIPTUM...............................Igal Koshevoy





  **************************************************************************
                               [ INTRODUCTION ]
  **************************************************************************

      This issue of Ygdrasil is a real landmark - it's our first
      issue to be synchronously posted into the rich expanses of
      Usenet's rec.arts.poems as well as our beloved Centipede
      network, marking it as our formal entry into the Internet
      community....

   We proudly welcome you to Ygdrasil Press! A flourishing center for the
   literary arts that is dedicated to the readers. Our goal and mission is
   to move literature into the next generation: get it away from dusty
   shelves, and trashbins of publishers; and give it back to the people who
   love to read! And as members of the electronic community, our editor
   Klaus explains our position well, "There should be a more permanent place
   for the poems that flash on our computer screens for, what sometimes
   seems like, the briefest of moments. A flash of inspiration, or thought
   and, unless saved in a file somewhere, gone."

   Ygdrasil understands that literature wasn't meant to be censored - for
   free expression is the liberation of the soul. Not to mention, the
   healing powers of unhindered, artistic expression match only those of the
   imagination. The Arts are one of the most direct channels to the heart,
   and we think that's beautiful ... that's the way we want to keep it.

   The Ygdrasil Press is produced of a cooperative, volunteer effort from a
   diverse group of people, living in many countries and continents. Lead by
   Klaus J. Gerken, our Editor in Chief, Ygdrasil was started in May 1993
   and was quickly joined by Paul Lauda lending wisdom, cheer and
   distribution; Evan Light with his great creativity and ideas; and Igal
   Koshevoy helping out with production. Pedro Sena joined soon to help
   rally support for the Beauty of the Word, and has helped produce many
   fine editions. Along with that we have Milan Georges Djordjevitch, our
   European Editor, from France contributing multilingual masterpieces. And
   with the November edition, we welcome our new associate editor Gay Bost
   whose poems and stories have been a regular feature of Ygdrasil.

   This Magazine and Press are living and breathing things - not static,
   listless, rusted monuments. With each issue, each poem, each word we
   evolve and grow.

   Change, metamorphoses, New Light, fresh viewpoints and artistic beauty
   are our only `grade' - and we only stop to make sure our product is of
   the utmost quality.

   We hope you all enjoy Ygdrasil as much as we have making and reading it!



   And now, since this is the Holiday Season, we would also like thank all
   the contributors, and all those who have supported Ygdrasil throughout
   the years. From all of us, to all of you, have a very Merry and Safe
   Holiday Season, and all the best for the coming New Year.



                     -- Igal Koshevoy and Klaus Gerken for
                        The Ygdrasil Staff

   PS: Faithful and new readers alike, please take a moment to read the new
   "YGDRASIL INTERNET" section at the end of the magazine, it gives a brief
   explanation of the new services offered to you by our expansion to
   Internet.

  **************************************************************************


   Still Matters
   ~~~~~~~~~~~~~

   If even she
   would not stop
   or he would stop
   in some random place
   at the rim of that
   which sometimes came
   smoother than daybreak
   yet ignored true love.
   The lie would forevermore
   be no less the softness
   that could come between
   all of our monsters.

   But, as in such ends,
   like dusk in movies
   or gutters of city,
   these matters at hand
   engrave only dead words
   into some head-stone
   so very small, for in
   of all that scatters
   will survive catalogs
   of all the tatters
   crossing any millennium
   that still matters.


                                        -- V.A. Blevins

=============================================================================

=============================================================================



   Ride
   ~~~~

   take a ride my son,
   take a ride

   let the wind blow your hair
    and eyes pass the pastures
    and nose smell the air
    and ears hear the music
        in a warm summers past
     by marquees faintly glowing
     by storefronts painted glass
     by farmyards grazing animals
        in summers travelling bye
          so very, very fast

    take a ride my son,
    take a ride

    let the miles move your thoughts
     and mind rest at peace
     and soul guide at rocks
     and body stop to feast
         in a warm summers night
      while we travel a concrete road
      while we follow a gleaming light
      while we touch a familiar face
         in summers travelling bye
          so fast, far from sight

   take a ride my son,
   take a ride

   let the warmth raise your spirit
    and take you away
    and show you to fly
    and hold the euphoria
        in a warm summers day
     as the wind blows your hair
     as the work feels like play
     as the hour lends another turn
        in summers travelling bye
         you are riding my son,
         for tomorrow and today


                                        -- Greg Schilling, 1994

=============================================================================



   Untitled
   ~~~~~~~~

   Dear friend,
    if we were to lay on a rolling landscape
    with sunshine drifting from east to west,
   sounds of gusting breezes moving treetops
    and eyes lightly closed to the world;
   Would our burdens float away like drifting leaves
    with each intoxicating breath of air.
   Would our spirits rise back as clouds
    quietly changing as both moved onward.

  Dear friend,
   if there were no anger to waiver
    deepening thoughts of clarity,
   desperation of an impending night
    pulling colorful kites from our sky;
   Would we believe there still is no word or thought
    no idea or presence deserving to be love.
   Would we remember feelings of warmth from inside
    before the sun scorches our skin in bliss.

  Dear friend,
   if our clock slowed from a fast swoop of its hands
    and seconds did not melt to hours and days,
   age fading as photographs sealed between
    sheets of plastic gathering dust;
   Would we again stop running in place
    and lie down upon that rolling landscape.
   Would we again know what is truly love
    before the night erased our warm days.


                                        -- Greg Schilling, 1993

=============================================================================

=============================================================================



   Rat
   ~~~

   the rat is back
   he comes every year
   to rest in our home
   the villain
   the slime
   the rotted
   the vile sickness
   he brings...

   never alone
   he pushes his way
   in
   we wait for him
   to go away
   he stays
   until the warmth
   the heat
   the life is free
   as i die
   with him
   the rat
   is mine
   i am his
   weak
   weak
   weakness of mind
   inherited
   the rat
   the vile
   the sick
   we wait for him-
   he stays.


                                        -- Scott Lawry

=============================================================================



   Poetry
   ~~~~~~

   No words exist in poetry
   Poetry is a feeling
   a learning
   A continuous growth,
   anyone can make words
   anyone can make 'poems'
   but poetry...

   Who are the teachers of the world?
   They are dead
   Yet alive
   they are poetry
   Who are the rulers of the world?
   They are tools
   Not real
   they are poverty
   And as this moves
   Like the transient currents of the wind-
   I sit and listen
   to nothing-
   That is poetry,
   As well,
   to me.


                                        -- Scott Lawry

=============================================================================



   Them
   ~~~~

   Dont let the dirty bastards
   Make you clean
   Dont let those rotted fuckers
   Turn you green
   Burn em
   hurt em
   take em down
   they are a fungus
   cut them back
   back
   Their blood is water
   pure
   Their thoughts are contagious
   lure
   watch them burn
   and learn..
   watch them die
   and see..
   Never help them
   never stop them
   no time
   no time
   live and kill
   walk away
   they are too many
   we are too few
   they are upon us
   we
   we are below
   low
   under dirt
   no time...
   no time.


                                        -- Scott Lawry

=============================================================================

=============================================================================



   FLOWERS OF EVIL
   ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

             Flowers of Evil
             Marching along
             Flowers of Evil
             Singing this song

   But it's right and it's wrong
   Until the pain - is gone

   They live by the western wind
   And they smile when the tolling bell rings
   They are the Flowers of Evil
   They are the flowers that the murderers bring
   They are the Flowers of Evil
   They are the flowers that fill
        the air with the sweetness of death

             Flowers of Evil
             Leading the pack
             Flowers of Evil
             No more look back

   And it's right and it's wrong
   Until the pain - is gone

   They leave their mark on whoever they come
   And they destroy the last radiance of a decaying sun

   They are the flowers of the night
   They are the flowers of a beautiful decay
   They are the Flowers of Evil
   And that shed no tears
        for the ones who cannot pray

             Flowers of Evil
             Stand so proud
             Flowers of Evil
             Are fond of love

   And its right and it's wrong
   Until the pain - is gone

   They find love in the desert gardens
   They mock life, but revere heaven

   They are the flowers of the world
   They are the flowers that cannot be unheard
   They are the Flowers of Evil
   They are the flowers of the empty
        who have no place left to roam

             Flowers of Evil
             All alone
             Flowers of Evil
             Have no home

   And it's right and it's wrong
   Until the pain - is gone



   They are the flowers without a soul
   They are the flowers that never grow old
   They are the Flowers of Evil
   That brink society together
        to enslave society forever

             Flowers of Evil
             Nowhere to be found
             Flowers of Evil
             Lying on the ground

   And it's right and it's wrong
   Until the pain - is gone.


                                        -- Klaus J. Gerken, 1966

=============================================================================


   FRAGMENTS OF A BRIEF ENCOUNTER
   ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
        I

   plumes of smoke. the city rises
   to address the winter in vernacular.
   alone, i stare out the frosted window.
   high stratus cloud, in variance, dome the sky.

   the insanity of life amazes me, i guess
   because i'm hardly that involved these days.
   a friend once said to me
   insane? how can we be insane?

   it's the world that is insane. an artist
   only sees reality, reflects reality
   in a way the world can never see...

   winter came early this year. officially
   it's still fall. i listen to the silence
   and wonder if the top quark really can be god.


                                        -- Klaus J. Gerken
                                           December 16, 1989

=============================================================================



   KILLING FIELD
   ~~~~~~~~~~~~~
        I

   I'd like to kill
   It's superstition
   It's the arc in Ethiopia
   It's the violent solution
   It's the drive in some fool car
   It's the virgin that keeps poetry
   Hidden in her heart
   It's all, I think, a waste of time
   It's all a shuff-e-ling of parts

   I want to kill
   I feel it in my heart
   The meadow saunters in the wind
   And the violets are torn
   In retribution for the war
   Which war? It can't go on.
   I side with this indifference
   knowing that indifference
   Is nothing but a wasted heart.

   I want to fill my boots
   I want to laugh but fire
   embraces agony - I said that, but i guess
   too long ago to have an impact now
   I'm just a frozen monument
   I'm desperate for the glow
   Of silence that a poet gets
   When sacrificing his own heart.

   I paint a foremost train apart
   Apache in my soul and German in a plastic heart.
   I gather no incertitude
   Know me but stay very much apart
   I have no lovers but alright
   I live a hermit and I love my life
   I form a presence on a BBS
   I'm single and I run away - not from self
   But from the ones who some are the able
   And can face another day.

   I read my letters only once
   I find the truth just glows like fonts
   upon a black computer screen
   I hopelessly demean myself and others
   Do not simply tar my feathers
   I vanish but I vanish not
   I sink my teeth in a marble god-
   dess... did I shock? - but I did not
   I revolutionize this poetry
   But you don't understand
   You cannot understand this faded provincial's story.



   I wore my heart upon the scone of silence
   I wrote the song of desperate transfusion
   I sprouted trans atlantic wings
   I went to the azores and I bathed in the blue waves
   I met sir galahad and I spoke to him of what went wrong
   and why he fell in love with the kings poor daughter
   oh god, i mean, the kings pure love...
   I was respectful of his unknown age
   he shuffled round in silence
   and headed for a bar.

   I met my cinderella with violets of hope
   Einstein blew a trumpet and Dylan met the Pope
   It wasn't like a trip into the Paranoias
   It wasn't like a coffee without sugar
   It wasn't silent musings in an alley from afar
   It was rather difficult and if i was amazed
   don't blame it on the master, blame it on the hope
   I had for this disaster...know me...i would know you
   I was wind to your fine plaster
   We were never masons
   We never really knew what the two of us were after.

   I drank my Chateau Magdalene
   a simple wine of no illusion
   in a transcendental organ transplant
   I went to what the beatles moved into the foam
   of masturbated silence, i was moved..i wasn't that alone
   I fed the coal to stoves i knew kept lovers warm in bed
   I was stunted by the confused element
   I heard my parents crying in a raging argument
   I saw the light disperse that violence...i'd shout
   please quit please you cannot offer grief
   upon a silver platter...and as saint John was baptised
   I knew he was a thief...

   I prayed to Jesus' suffering...I sprouted on the cross
   a rose no one had wanted a final silver floss
   upon a staid arrangement where monks voided love
   of any type emotion...a level i could not
   gather from the fragments...this was war...not loss.
   I slowly sank the quicksand into books obscure
   I noted an arrangement...I guess i was too pure
   to be the evil ending god had had in mind
   I had hope from the beginning
   I guess this fool was just a fool too elemental
   too be blind.

   I want to rest...arrest the hope that there is something
   other than what is or seems to be
   this apparent. I want to wear no, but, I still wear gloves.
   Perhaps I'm over sensitive. I regulate my life
   awake at 5 a.m. I conquer an emotion. I wear the eagle crown
   That no one wanted but I wished to capture.
   I dance alone in somewhat of a forest
   I dance beneath the burning trees
   and find myself in chambers no one dare to come
   Into the dark intrinsic elements
   that touched what we have misconstrued as life...


   I ponder what you have to offer...I ponder
   what i sought to give...I give nothing
   and you give nothing...yet still the two of us
   so different manage to cohabitate this planetoid
   and this dimension...both manage still
   to somewhat live until...
   You were offered up my heart as goddess
   and I made your clay my fool
   I suffered in this poem
   you suffered in the doll
   I would not have murdered darkly
   You shook into my brain
   I vanished incompletely
   like my poison you remain
   I want to kill...not surely
   I want to somehow here remain
   Regaining what I lost in you
   Regaining confidence and hope

   I have no other offering
   This poem is my only scope
   I want to kill and make you live
   I want to kill myself and make you live
   Without me.
   How's that for this poor fool on dope?


                                        -- Klaus J. Gerken, 1992

=============================================================================

=============================================================================



    and if i should...
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    straightforth execution
    pull the knobs
    unsheathe the knives
    and go

    just a hunk of flesh
    an image
    absurd projection
    from filthy mind

    can't hear
    can't understand
    stupid ... yeah
    stupid - that's all that's left


    i want to kill you
    want you to break me
    need you to smash me
    gotta tear you apart

    6 months gone
    still in my eyes
    my lacerated world
    my incessant tries

    can't find no better
    disruption too far
    i'm doused to the roots
    godblessed distance spreads us apart


    throbvisionary
    circulation cutting out
    all so damn fuzzy
    oh please, i want to fade out

    it's not another day
    it's not another place
    it's not another life
    it's just another try


    shotgun messiah
    riding the growing dim haze
    load up another bullet for me
    friend


                                                -Igal Koshevoy (lh^m^jtb)
                                                 November 27, 1994; 3:21am

=============================================================================



    midnight roil
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    take another swallow
      drown out the bile
    take another swig
      flood out taste o' vomit
    take another puff
      numb away the membranes
    shoot up another load
      cause i don't want to feel
        the same

        not the same
          not the same
            not the same


    i don't care about you
      cause i care too much about you
    gimme a break
      break my neck
    step forward
      now that's a step back
    let go the hammer
      just pull the trigger
        change me
          for ever

        not again
          please not again
            damnit, not again


    take a turn
      take a spin
    watch me twitch
      see you grin
    a puppet for all
      that's what i am
    pull my strings
      i ain't no man

        got no brain
          no one else to blame
            only me left to blame


    sleigh of hand
      missed my eyes
    i'll take the bad deal
      cause it's all i got
    she's all mine
      though she's ugly
        if only for a few minutes
          if only for a few dollars

        got no name
          ten wet minutes of blame
            just a stinking stain



    take another swallow
      drown out the bile
    take another swig
      flood out taste o' vomit
    take another puff
      numb away the membranes
    empty another load
      cause i don't want to feel
        the same
          the same
            the same

        just a crying shame
          in the rain
            draining pain
              sucking vein
                emptied stain
        again
          not again
            why the pain
              where's the gain?


                                                -Igal Koshevoy (lh)
                                                 January 14, 1994; 2:32am

=============================================================================



   Suburbasomn
   ~~~~~~~~~~~

   Warm cement
   Hailed by a rattle of air conditioners
   Follow the path of a lone mosquito
   Droning into the dark stillness

   A party fading into the background
   Stray cords wander into the night
   Serenaded by the humming highway
   Prowling engines, out of sight

   An outline draped against a sink
   A frightened figure beneath a still car
   The shadows in their lethargic dance
   Glinting past chromed bumpers

   Pass by a house where Someone lived
   Now empty like the rest to me
   A soul is only found when one is known
   But i don't know, i never did


   Jet flight, jet bright
   Oh first plane i see tonight
   I wish i may, i wish i might
   ...oh well, nevermind


   The dimmed light spilling from a window
   Inside the shifting blobs burst into recycled laughter
   And the glowing fingers massage the mass back into the Default
   An unmoving state of Neverend

   Basketball hoops relax in temporary abandon
   While their sleeping assailants doze away
   Hiding under sheets and plywood
   Their hours tick away

   Buzzing flies give praise to their Incandescent Angles
   Hovering majestically in their robes of yellow and white
   And above them is the vaulted ceiling
   Of someone else's Heaven

   And everything seems so far away


                                                -Igal Koshevoy (TL)
                                                 September 16, 1994; 10:11pm

=============================================================================

=============================================================================



   A Restless World
   ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

   Undaunting restlessness of time that never stops,
   Mirror images reflecting a disillusioned world of man.
   Many times he could have done the right thing but failed,
   Will tomorrow's peace be a afterthought yet to be ran.

   Too many deaths because some were too occupied to see,
   The senselessness of their actions blinded by greed.
   No small story, just add a few more pages to the chapter,
   Starvation, salvation others just waiting to be freed.

   Can't understand how we managed to get the world this way,
   Legends of their mind are sent to the seats of power.
   Building armies of destruction to inflict suffering pain,
   Raining down on the unsuspecting people like a shower.

   Wonder with all this going on if it makes the angels cry,
   A world so torn apart by the people who were to make it right.
   Would be difficult if it weren't so easy to make these errors,
   Wish I could make things different for the people who die tonight.

   Shadows beginning to fade as the sky turns into a darker gray,
   I trudge through yet another day of troubles that never ends.
   Make a world full of poets to see things in a different light,
   A brighter life of peace and happiness would be common trends.


                                        -- Terry A. Long, 1992

=============================================================================



   Days of Fall
   ~~~~~~~~~~~~

   I see the squirrels scurrying and gathering nuts,
   Leaves are turning colors to red, gold, and brown.
   Honks of geese are heard overhead flying south,
   The humming birds no longer come around.

   You can smell the beginning of fall,
   Farmers in the field harvesting their crops.
   The days have noticeably grown shorter,
   Also the temperature slowly drops.

   Last few days of fishing is coming closer,
   First frost isn't that far away.
   Halloween parades and trick or treaters,
   Jack o'laterns flickering joins the fray.

   Turkeys and Pilgrims in the school windows,
   Kids are having fun in a pile of raked leaves.
   Night air hints of wood burning from a fireplace,
   Hardly see anyone with rolled up sleeves.

   Can see through trees and see more things,
   Where leaves earlier blocked my view.
   Makes one want to go out and be part of the change,
   With winter approaching days of fall are few.


                                        -- Terry A. Long, 1994

=============================================================================



   A Simple Time
   ~~~~~~~~~~~~~

   The stars of a dog appear in the sky,
   Dog days of summer have come by.
   Steady hum of a summer night's rain,
   Thunder echoing across the fields of grain.

   Dust on the ground is turning into a muddy mire,
   A wall becoming a dark and shining raindrop's lair.
   A breaking sky gives way to a new sunrise,
   Night people retreat from their nightly guise.

   Old machines left abandoned outside to rust,
   While others in buildings just collect dust.
   The sound of a distant train horn can be heard,
   An endless daily flight of a bird.

   Surface of a river's water lays still,
   Smoke eludes from a stack of a nearby mill.
   Sweat soaked brow from a hard's day work,
   Shadows of mystery always on the lurk.

   A dream of peace gives way to war,
   Happiness takes a backseat to pain and gore.
   An easier way of life, carries no name,
   The pendulum swang...
                          then the rain came.


                                        -- Terry A. Long, 1994

=============================================================================

=============================================================================



   The Cultured Saint
   ~~~ ~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~

   My ecstasy that drips
                                     forth from
                                                           your loins.

   pure
            mesmerizing
                                   life

   More potent than any modern elixir
   ever shot through my needlescarred veins.

   If heaven were like this,
   less people would burn or so
   would say your priest.

   To tire of this is
   to die miserable
                             bloodied.

   One urge introduces a next.

   Now we scale mountains as
   if they were bedposts.


                                        -- 1994 Evan Light

=============================================================================


               The Great Lament of Sir Vinnie Vinccenzo
               ~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~~ ~~ ~~~ ~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~
                In the dark corridors of South Jersey
                       there are walls made of
                    armadillo heads. Green Peace
                           is on our asses
              Vinnie, zen monk extraordinaire, practices
                    his art upon my weeping willow
                       forever daring children
                          to come and visit
                      claims he does not molest.
                      He rides upon an antelope
                         down Rt. 30 through
                    construction, smacking inmates
                   who have behaved and now direct
            traffic or stand guard over land manipulators.
                 The beast grazes in gardens of love
               that have been conveniently transplanted
                next to every other wawa on the right.
                       Pushing, not pulling, he
               enters, steals Pall Malls and an apple.
            Telepathically, Vinnie warns the counterboy to
                         give him all the $$
                  but the boy is blind in the mind.
                         He is now in pieces.
                        It is pieces he is in.
                  They are taking him on a stretcher
                  while his brother calls for Bill.


                     I am screaming bloody murder
                 while I'm running down the corridor
                      of this damnable damnable
                              wasteland
             where I'm trapped and canned like campbell's
                  like campbell's cream of mushroom
                   not progresso though it's better
                   maybe healthy choice or dog food
                          pass the pringles
                           let's get nasty
                        1-900 costs a fortune
                         a damnable damnable
                               fortune
                    but what to do in a wasteland
               'cept shoot rats in Bob's new wreckyard
                 and bic your gas till it blows boom
               and like a nasa shuttle you go blasting
                           to the moon and
                 then we dine on cheese and crackers
                     and a tiny spot an only spot
                  of white rhino tea from old italy.
                       The image here is vivid
                         for I'm stuck here,
                            now I'm livid
                   cause it costs a lot for diesel
                     and that's only what i drink
                   I don't want your damn budweiser
               that makes the intestines dance and the
           bowels boogie down like chubby checker on speed
                   and twist into white porcelain.
                  In these corridors of this locale
                    I am puking through my fingers
                     It is now that I heave dry.


                                        -- Evan Light, 1994

=============================================================================

=============================================================================



                   A dream that never was
                   ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

           A dream that never was
                       pale in my thoughts
                   and here you are
                  listening
                       you breathe into me
                       letting me touch
                                 without hands so soft
                                 your eyes
                       and I feel every thought
                       know every fear
                       cherish every breath
                       and then I'm dreaming again
                       Tired of rainbows that I don't need
                       I think of that wall
                       so high and careful
                                 Broken by electric emotions
                       racing through my head
                       like cracks across ice
                      and the wind is blowing
                      cold into my eyes
                       and then I'm dreaming
                    again
         in a dream that never was.


                                        -- Amy St. John

=============================================================================



                            Friday Nights
                            ~~~~~~ ~~~~~~

                       From my house I can hear
                     the pulsating beat travelling
                          across the island.
                     Reggae rhythms so familiar;
                           known by heart.

                 Walking towards the town, the music
                       gets louder, I soon see
                       crowd of people dancing,
                       laughing, a moving mass.
            Locals mostly, a few tourists mix in hastily.

                    One block down, Rock Lobster.
                  Friends wave from a table beneath
                         a Heineken umbrella.
                Smaller band plays a soft reggae beat,
               we relax, listen, and sway to the music.

                Calm breezes cause napkins to flutter.
             Mouth-watering smells float in the warm air,
                 carried over from Hercules' Grille.
                    Spicy hot, and oh, so greasy!
                        We all catch a whiff,
                         and smile knowingly.

             Timid tourists enter, looking out of place.
              Clean white Rheboks and brown knee socks.
          New Island t-shirts, fluorescent shorts clashing.

             A rasta, dreads askew, comes up behind them,
                       yelling with fake anger:
              "Meh-son! Yo' wan' move so I co' pass??!!"
                 They scatter, regrouping elsewhere.

            We all laugh so hard, falling into each other!
                         We have one another,
                        Once again for summer,
                        everything is alright.


                                        -- Amy St. John

=============================================================================



                             Another Look
                             ~~~~~~~ ~~~~

                          High green hills,
                          shaping the land.
                        Looking closer now...

                         turquoise sea, calm,
                         and full of motion.
                    Smoothly sparkling, swirling,

                  lapping the land, and glimmering.
                      The mountains are rounded;
                  friendly in their awesome height.
               Trees, bushes, vines, blended together.

                   On occasion our soothing breeze
                    gets bored, playfully rustles
                          leaves all around,
                 ant the trees between the Sunshine.

                          All is everyday...

                        I sit alone, watching
                         orange, pink, purple
                   sky streaked with pastel clouds
                    like some frustrated painter.

                          A bird flies low,
                             and I smile,
                           as the sun sinks
                            into the sea.


                                        -- Amy St. John

=============================================================================

=============================================================================



   While the eyes of heaven smile...
   ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

   While the eyes of heaven smile,
   and while my whole house sleeps,
   often I get restless,
   and down the stairs I creep.

   This pilgrimage I make often,
   the routine I know quite well.
   Quick and quiet out I slip,
   an no one do I tell.

   For this is mine and only mine.
   Well, I suppose it is his, too.
   For it was with him this memory was made
   When this memory was new.

   Down the path I hurry,
   the sand passes beneath my feet,
   until I reach the lapping waves,
   and their chilling liquid heat.

   In that same spot we stood,
   at that same moon we gazed.
   Steadily it beamed down on us,
   while over the ripples it played.

   I remember how he watched me
   and the light danced in his eyes.
   And in those eyes I knew I saw
   the kind of love that ties.

   We learned a lot that evening,
   while gentle blew the breeze.
   We learned that with each other,
   Our lives could be at ease.


                                        -- Nicole Eichwald

=============================================================================



   You said
   ~~~~~~~~

   You said
   you let me go so you could keep me
           But you let me go altogether.

   "I don't want to lose you"
                             you said.
   But you pushed me away.

   As I fell, as the sands fell,
                     you watched.
   You said you'd hold out a hand,
   But I couldn't see it.

   Falling, falling, falling
           the sand of time around me
   At the very last minute, I was caught.
   I tried to climb back to you,
   but the sand swallowed me,
           pulled me back.
   And finally I grab your hand
           but I can't hold on
   And you are slipping,
           like sand through my fingers,
   And I feel you drift away.


                                        -- Nicole Eichwald

=============================================================================


   There is something about...
   ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

   There is something about
   A blank piece of paper
   Which draws my pen
   to it.
   A feeling, a compulsion
   to fill it with
   words, thoughts, feelings.
   My frustrations, my emotions,
   my problems.
   Pour out my heart
   down my arm
   and out the tip of my pen.
   It is my therapy.


                                        -- Nicole Eichwald

=============================================================================



   The rain is pouring down on me...
   ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

   The rain is pouring down on me,
   soaking my hair, running in rivets down my nose,
   washing away my emotions.
   I can't see through my tears, and the rain,
   and the fog.
   The fog that spirals me
   is a warm blanket, but blinds me.
   Then a tunnel forms in the mist,
   A clear path
   and at the end is him.

   Still the rain is pouring down,
   my hair, my skin, my clothes all drenched,
   but happiness returns.
   The sun shines through the rain,
   and as I walk toward him
   I am walking in a summer storm.
   The walls are vivid rainbows
   pointing toward their gold.
   But does this treasure want to be found?
                                     claimed?

           No - he just slips into the breeze


                                        -- Nicole Eichwald

=============================================================================

=============================================================================



   Margie XVI
   ~~~~~~~~~~

   "Am I a sweetheart, Vince?"
   Can you remember when I wouldn't say, "Yes;"
   Just because I didn't know you well enough?
   I think now that I really wouldn't say
   Because the truth is so frightening.
   For so many years I've done without
   The gentle, affectionate, casual sweetness that you simply are.
   Now that I've had a taste of it,
   How can I go back to that dusty death?
   How can I do without ever again?
   This is need.
   It frightens me to show you:
   Does it frighten you, too?


                                        -- Vincent Otten

=============================================================================


   Margie XXII
   ~~~~~~~~~~~

   I awoke this morning with a happy smile.
   In a dream, I'd ridden my bicycle with my back to the rising sun
   And I came across a character of an old farm house.
   It was shaded by oak statesmen, but on the east side
   Chris Colvin had carried out stereo speakers
   And was teaching his young son the wonders of Handel's _Messiah_.
   So I wandered over to listen and add my two cents' worth
   When his two little daughters -- dreams have this poetic license,
      you know --
   About the ages of Naomi and Sarah
   Came rushing out to greet me.
   The eldest threw her arms around me and said,
   "The strength of a loving heart
   Is like the strength of the burning sun:
   You feel it wherever you go."

   And I woke up
   And thought of you.


                                        -- Vincent Otten

=============================================================================

=============================================================================



   Reflection
   ~~~~~~~~~~

   A reflection traced in silver
   Apparition staring back
   White light's spectrum does now filter
   The appearance in the glass
   What is seen does not belong
   With the ancient soul inside
   So longing to whisper the song
   But ever forced to hide.


                                        -- Jennifer Mulcahy

=============================================================================

   Harvest..
   ~~~~~~~

   Silence covers me with its velvet folds
   And I peer outward, my face expressionless
   In my heart some loneliness holds
   A feeling strange, like emptiness...
   Pouring forth from within myself
   Selfless gaze above, beyond...
   Harvest time, too soon to tell-
   My ears strain for the sound..........


                                        -- Jennifer Mulcahy

=============================================================================

   Change
   ~~~~~~

   Ancient hymns of serenity
   Wash over me like the foaming sea
   I sit and watch the seasons change
   While others rush and rearrange
   Patience fills me as I am alone
   Branches bare where harsh winds have blown
   I see now beyond the physical world
   A deeper meaning has unfurled
   Things here matter, but not as much as one might think...
   Take your time to listen and think...
   Life is too short to be bothered by stress
   The more emotion you feel, you'll be burdened much less...
   Take a moment to hold my hand
   And doodle wishes in the sand
   Glance in my eyes before they've gone
   And inhale the crimson dawn
   Aside from all else, you have been given this day
   To love or to hate or to throw away
   Cherish life and simplicity
   With this, and love, your soul is free....


                                        -- Jennifer Mulcahy

=============================================================================



   The feelings of man...
   ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

   Frigid night air threatens to pierce my warmth
   As I struggle to understand
   How close should I stand to the fire to absorb
   The feelings of man.....
   My eyes are cast upon the ground
   My shoulders hunched, I stand still
   Whistling wind the only sound
   Captured between the hills.....


                                        -- Jennifer Mulcahy

=============================================================================


   inside
   ~~~~~~

   As I stand facing the east
   I miss the sun's departure
   Its crimson glow the least
   Of what I cannot see ...forever?
   Is a word that is held inside blown glass
   Seasons change as time does pass....
   Greyness overtakes the heart of the innocent
   As the soulless live blind and ne'er repent...
   To find another in this realm is a miracle...
   I have wept in joy and now watch the tears fall...
   A rain inside my swirling core
   This man alone can open its door.


                                        -- Jennifer Mulcahy

=============================================================================


   A shallow...
   ~~~~~~~~~

   A shallow, narrow corridor
   With little, filtered light
   Keeps my inner core
   Trapped in endless night.
   Afar I saw a gleam, beyond
   Where and what I cannot say
   Perhaps a deep and endless bond
   Needing in the way
   A piece of life has bloomed inside
   I feel it when it's near
   But sometimes then it seems to hide
   And my heart aches from the fear.....


                                        -- Jennifer Mulcahy

=============================================================================

=============================================================================



   I won't peak!
   ~~~~~~~~~~~~

   Life is the holiday
   Death is the gift
   Lord, dear lord,
   When my gift I do
   Receive, I pray I
   Do not suspect what
   is under the wrap.


                          -- Alvin Brinson

=============================================================================

=============================================================================




  **************************************************************************
                              [ POST SCRIPTUM ]
  **************************************************************************

   Nyd
   ~~~
   "The  more  things  change, the  more they stay the same."
   With bright, cheerful eyes we will look apon  this  world
   this   morn.    Awaiting   for   all   the  goals  to  be
   accomplished; all our prayers  to  be answered. For hope,
   peace, friendship and love to  spread  like  a  flood  of
   champagne across  the  lands, the plains, the  mountains,
   valleys, and cities of this world.  We smilingly remember
   all the promising toasts by imaginative people - saying a
   "A new age is ushered  in, a prosperous and gleeful one."
   And drunkenly we return to our beds and sleep.

                   when we awake and get up with high hopes, we look around.
                   disappointed we are, when we see that nothing has changed
                   except for one meaningless digit and another  wrinkle  on
                   our  faces.   war  rages  across  continents  - murdering
                   millions just because they were there.  disease,  hunger,
                   corruption  and shame run rampant through the capillaries
                   of each land.  and Mother Nature takes her toll in lives.
                   In the end, it's all the same:
                           "Nothing changes on New Year's Day."


                                                   -Igal Koshevoy;
                                                    January 1, 1993;
                                                    SUFFERAGE 20:1



   +=====================================================================+
   |    A New Age: The Centipede Network Of Artists, Poets, & Writers    |
   +---------------------------------------------------------------------|
   |     - An Informational Journey Into A Creative Echonet   [9310]     |
   +---------------------------------------------------------------------|
   | (C) CopyRight     "I Write, Therefore, I Develop"     By Paul Lauda |
   +=====================================================================+

       Come one, come all! Welcome to Centipede. Established just for
       writers, poets, artists, and anyone who is creative. A place
       for anyone to participate in, to share their poems, and learn
       from all.  A place to share *your* dreams, and philosophies.
       Even a chance to be published in a magazine.

       Centipede offers ten echo areas, such as a general chat area,
       an echo of poetry and literature, and also on dreams and
       speculated history & publishing.  In all of the ten conferences,
       anyone is allowed to post their thoughts, and make new friends.
       For that is what CentNet is here for: for you.  Ever wonder how
       to accent a poem at the right meter?  Well, come join our
       PoetryForum, and everyone would be willing to help you out.
       Have any problems in deciphering your dreams?  Select The Dreams
       echo, and you're questions shall be solved.

       The Network was created on May 16, 1993.  I created this because
       there were no other networks dedicated to such an audience.
       And with the help of Klaus Gerken, Centipede soon started to
       grow, and become active on Bulletin Board Systems.

       I consider Centipede to be a Public Network; however, its a
       specialized network, dealing with any type of creative thinking.
       Therefore, that makes us something quite exotic, since most
       nets are very general and have various topics, not of interest
       to a writer--which is where Centipede steps in!  No more fuss.
       A writer can now download the whole network, without phasing
       out any more conferences, since the whole net pertains to
       the writer's interests.  This means that Centipede has all
       the active topics that any creative user seeks.  And if we
       don't, then one shall be created.

       If you want to find out more about Centipede, give us a call
       at +609-896-3256, and join one of our conferences.  You'll
       not be disappointed!   Or, check out the latest info packet
       being distributed in the format: CENTyymm.[ARCHIVE].


=============================================================================

=============================================================================


            ***** **** **  * ***** ***** ***** **** ****  **** (tm)
            *     *    * * *   *     *   *   * *    *   * *
            *Cent **   * * *   *     *   ***** **   *   * **
            * Net *    * * *   *     *   *     *    *   * *
            ***** **** *  **   *   ***** *     **** ****  ****

          -------- A Professional Mailing NetWork --------

                              - A   or     -

             Welcome to Centipede, a Professional Mailing Network!

             Centipede, was created by the effort of Paul Lauda and a
       very special group of friends, with the intent to encourage the
       sharing and distribution of poetic material.  It was our
       feeling, THEN, and it is, NOW, that there are certain things in
       life which should be treated with honest feeling, and not be
       censored, because it might have one word, or one feeling which
       someone did not like.

            When we first started, we centered ourselves around POETRY.
       But, no sooner were we ready to go on the phone lines, we all
       also wanted a few other things to enjoy and share.  Immediately
       a few other MESSAGE BASES were added to the Network, to appease
       the needs and interests of the several members who helped place
       this on the map.  All in all, we find that we are a group of
       dedicated lovers of art, and specially the beauty of the art of
       writing.

             And what does Centipede stand for?  The body of the
       Centipede is made up of the Sysops who carry CentNet.  These
       Sysops have a BULLETIN BOARD SYSTEM ( BBS ) which dedicates
       itself to carious uses depending on each individual user.  There
       are many types of BBS's and some of them are specially dedicated
       to electronic mailing of messages.  For this purpose several
       NETWORKS have been created.  Centipede is one of these.  These
       Sysops, which means they are Systems Operators, when joining a
       larger system, become known as NODES.  And without the hard work
       of many of these Sysops, CentNet and any other network would not
       be able to flourish properly.  The legs are the Users, without
       the users the Sysops could not move anywhere.  Without the body,
       the Users could not interact with one another.

            Our NetWork offers a special program for Sysops and Users
       in case there may be questions or problems.  A 24 hour Voice
       Support Line is here for your questions: (609) 895-0858.  If per
       chance there is no one there to answer your call, please leave
       your name and voice phone number, and the best possible time to
       contact you (Eastern Standard Time), and someone will get back
       to you as soon as possible.  We are here to help you, please
       feel free to call, even if it is just to say "Hello".

             CENTIPEDE, would like to have your patronage, and would
       like to make sure you can see for yourself what it is we are
       about.  You may give us a call at the number mentioned above,
       and we will gladly find a way for you to interact with us.




                             **    **   ******
                              **  **      **
                           [ YGDRASIL INTERNET ]
                               ****       **
                                **        **
                                **      ******

  **************************************************************************

  RESOURCES

    The collection of Ygdrasil Press is now available on the World-Wide Web,
    accessible as "http://www.rdrop.com/~igal/ygdrasil". This WWW site
    contains the collections in their original and untranslated formats,
    professionally laid out collections in Microsoft Word for Windows 2.0
    format, GIF pictures, ANSI color graphics, and other goodies.

    Coming soon, the collection will be also be available through anonymous
    ftp and ftp-by-mail. Details on using Ygdrasil by e-mail will be
    included as soon as we're finished testing it out.


  WHAT THIS MEANS :)

    If one has "direct" (LAN, SLIP, PPP, etc), "dialin" (UNIX, VMS, etc
    prompt), or "e-mail" (FidoNet, Prodigy, America Online, Compu$erve, etc)
    access to Internet, you can get all of our magazines and literature
    collections viewed on screen, downloaded or delivered to your
    electronic-mailbox without ever having to dial long distance or figure
    out which BBS to call. This provides a much more intimate link to the
    world outside our beloved Centipede. As well, this increases the
    audience and broadens the coverage of Ygdrasil to better serve the
    readers.


  COMMENTS

    Any comments or concerns about Internet access, as well as lengthy
    submissions (preferably as MIME attachments) should be sent to the Igal
    Koshevoy, who will either give direct feedback or direct it to `someone'
    who's in a better position to help -
        Internet: igal@agora.rdrop.com
        Fidonet: Igal Koshevoy, 1:105/290

    Comments about Ygdrasil, as well as short submissions, can be addressed
    to Klaus Gerken, our Editor in Chief -
        Internet: Klaus.Gerken@f56.n266.z1.fidonet.org
        Fidonet: Klaus Gerken, 1:266/56

    Long submissions are considered any single post over 80 lines with
    headers. This is because the Internet to FidoNet gate is famous for
    truncating messages longer than that.

    We'd love to hear from you!


=============================================================================

=============================================================================


  **************************************************************************
                          [ COPYRIGHT INFORMATION ]
  **************************************************************************


  All  poems  copyrighted  by  their respective authors. Any reproduction of
  these poems, without the  express  written  permission  of the authors, is
  prohibited.

  YGDRASIL: A Journal of the Poetic Arts: Copyright (c) 1994 by KJ Gerken

  The official version of this magazine is posted on Revision  Systems  BBS:
  No  other  version  shall  be  deemed  "authorized" unless downloaded from
  there.

  Information requests, subscriptions, suggestions, comments, submissions or
  anything else  appropriate  should  be  addressed,  with  a self addressed
  stamped envelope, to:

             +----------------------------+
             |  YGDRASIL PRESS       ***  |
             |  1001-257 LISGAR ST.       |
             |  OTTAWA, ONTARIO           |
             |  CANADA, K2P 0C7           |
             +----------------------------+

  All checks should be made out to: YGDRASIL PRESS

=============================================================================

=============================================================================

  **************************************************************************
                        [ YGDRASIL PUBLICATIONS LIST ]
  **************************************************************************
            THE WIZARD EXPLODED SONGBOOK (1969), songs by KJ Gerken
            FULL BLACK Q (1975), a poem by KJ Gerken
            ONE NEW FLASH OF LIGHT (1976), a play by KJ Gerken
            THE BLACKED-OUT MIRROR (1979) a poem by Klaus J. Gerken
            THE BREAKING OF DESIRE (1986), poems by KJ Gerken
            FURTHER SONGS (1986), songs by KJ Gerken
            POEMS OF DESTRUCTION (1988), poems by KJ Gerken
            DIAMOND DOGS (1992), poems by KJ Gerken
            KILLING FIELDS (1992), a poem by KJ Gerken
            THE AFFLICTED, a poem by KJ Gerken
            FRAGMENTS OF A BRIEF ENCOUNTER, poems by KJ Gerken

            MZ-DMZ (1988), ramblings by Igal Koshevoy
            DARK SIDE (1991), ramblings by Igal Koshevoy
            STEEL REIGNS & STILL RAINS (1993), ramblings by Igal Koshevoy
            BLATANT VANITY (1993), ramblings by Igal Koshevoy
            ALIENATION OF AFFECTION (1993), ramblings by Igal Koshevoy
            LIVING LIFE AT FACE VALUE (1993), ramblings by Igal Koshevoy
            HATRED BLURRED (1993), ramblings by Igal Koshevoy
            CHOKING ON THE ASHES OF A RUNAWAY (1993), ramblings by I. Koshevoy
            BORROWED FEELINGS BUYING TIME (1993), ramblings by Igal Koshevoy
            HARD ACT TO SWALLOW (1994), ramblings by Igal Koshevoy
            HALL OF MIRRORS (1994), ramblings by Igal Koshevoy
            ARTIFICIAL BUOYANCY (1994), ramblings by Igal Koshevoy

            THE POETRY OF PEDRO SENA, poems by Pedro Sena
            THE FILM REVIEWS, by Pedro Sena
            THE SHORT STORIES, by Pedro Sena
            INCANTATIONS, by Pedro Sena

            POEMS (1970), poems by Franz Zorn
  ***************************************************************************

  All books are on disk and cost $5.00 each, and may be ordered from:
             +----------------------------+
             |  YGDRASIL PRESS       ***  |
             |  1001-257 LISGAR ST.       |
             |  OTTAWA, ONTARIO           |
             |  CANADA, K2P 0C7           |
             +----------------------------+
  Checks should be made out to the respective authors  and  orders  will  be
  forwarded by Ygdrasil Press.

  YGDRASIL MAGAZINE may also be ordered from  the  same  address:  $2.50  an
  issue  to cover disk and mailing costs, also specify computer type (IBM or
  Mac), as well as disk size and density. Allow 2 weeks for delivery.

  Note that YGDRASIL MAGAZINE is  free when downloaded from Revision Systems
  BBS  (1-609-896-3256)  or  any other participating BBS. Revisions, though,
  holds the official version of Ygdrasil.

=============================================================================