💾 Archived View for gemini.spam.works › mirrors › textfiles › messages › BACKWATER › bw880705.txt captured on 2022-06-12 at 16:00:29.

View Raw

More Information

-=-=-=-=-=-=-

NUMBER OF LINES: 999
001=Usr:0 Null User         06/30/87 20:34  Msg:0 Call:0  Lines:19
  1$If you are in need of help, you need but ask...
  2$************************* INSTALLED: 5 JUL 88 ****************************
  3$Welcome to BWMS II (BackWater Message System II)  Mike Day System operator
  4$**************************************************************************
  5$GENERAL DISCLAIMER: BWMS II IS NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR ANY INFORMATION
  6$                    PLACED ON THIS SYSTEM.
  7$BWMS II was created as an electronic bill board. BWMS II is a privately 
  8$owned and operated system which is currently open for use by the general
  9$public.  No restrictions are placed on the use of the system.  As the
 10$system is privately owned, I retain the right to remove any and all
 11$messages which I may find offensive.  Because of the limited size of the
 12$system, it will be periodically purged of messages (only 999 lines of data
 13$can be saved).  To leave a message, type 'ENTER'.  Use ctrl/C to get out
 14$the ENTER mode.  The message is automatically stored.  If after entering
 15$the message you find you made a mistake, use the replace command to
 16$replace the line.  To exit from the system, type 'BYE' then hang up.
 17$Type 'HELP' to see other commands that are available on the system.
 18$**************************************************************************
 19$ 
002=Usr:1 CISTOP MIKEY      07/05/88 02:42  Msg:1748 Call:10002101  Lines:5
 20 Meteors: Little white lines that seem to appear in the sky at night.
 21 Actually they are an optical illusion caused by polar bears skiing
 22 around the North Pole.
 23 *********************************************************************
 24  
003=Usr:70 Kurfur Redlig     07/05/88 09:20  Msg:1749 Call:10002108  Lines:8
 25 KKKKKKKKKKKKKurfur Redlig / Back from Pyrotechniksssssssssssssssssssssss
 26  
 27 Hello to all you humans and other things (the Border Pirate).  I've got
 28 just one thing to say: I'M AT THE TOP, I'M AT THE TOP. AND YOU AREN'T.
 29 I know that I was probably acling like a twit just now, and I apologize
 30 if I was, but I'M STILL AT THE TOP, HAAA HAAA HAAA HAAA HAAAAAA.
 31  
 32 KKKKKKKKKKKKurfur Redlig / I'm probably quite out of lineeeeeeeeeeeeeee
004=Usr:428 Mercury X         07/05/88 10:31  Msg:1750 Call:10002111  Lines:21
 33 (((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((()))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
 34  
 35 Well, we are certanily filling up the disk fast...
 36  
 37 I look outside as I wake up.  My ears are still ringing from last night.
 38 As we have tried to develop bigger and better fireworks, the sounds have
 39 gotten louder.
 40 I try to keep a grip on myself as I stagger downstairs for some coffee.
 41 Finally I manage to make it to the machine.  I pour a cup and lift it to
 42 my lips.  The steaming black liquid rolls down my throat. My senses clear
 43 some. As I sip the rest of the coffee, stopping at intervals to replenish my
 44 cup, I look outside at my driveway.  It is a disaster area.  Littered with
 45 scraps of paper, plastic stands, and matches, it is something to behold.
 46 I walk outside and the many remains of the pull-apart fireworks and snaps
 47 crunch under me like fallen leaves in autumn. I see the many stands and tubes
 48 from the whistles, fountains, and combinations of both.  It is hazy.
 49 Probably because of all the smoke things I set off. As I tiredly look around 
 50 for the broom and dustpan, I wonder if it was worth it.  But, as I sweep up
 51 the first scrap of paperI knew that everything, from the biggest fountain
 52 to the smallest smoke bomb and pull-apart, had been worth it.
 53 (((((((((((((JUL 5(((((((((((((Mercury)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
005=Usr:283 KEVIN CONNELL     07/05/88 15:04  Msg:1751 Call:10002119  Lines:9
 54 @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@User 283#######################
 55  Cistop Mikey:   am now planning to run a temporary bbs on a Micro 5 1000 
 56 with 640k. Im going to do it all in RAM, and it will be written in Stardos 
 57 Basic.  The only thingg I
 58                           'm worried wbout is that it will be pretty similar to
 59 BW II.
 60 @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@Sometime After the 4th#########
 61  
 62 ^C
006=Usr:379 Phoenix Polymorp  07/05/88 18:00  Msg:1752 Call:10002126  Lines:3
 63 Line #62 was not mine,
 64 =                      Phoenix Polymorph II
 65 ^C
007=Usr:1 CISTOP MIKEY      07/05/88 22:39  Msg:1753 Call:10002144  Lines:3
 66 **********************************************
 67 Kevin, why is this a problem? I don't mind.
 68 *************** CISTOP MIKEY ******************
008=Usr:498 Hagbard Celine ,  07/05/88 22:53  Msg:1754 Call:10002146  Lines:25
 69  
 70 ---{ What is real?  What is not? }---------------------------------------
 71  
 72    What is a criminal?  Does a criminal Really Exist or do they Seem to
 73 exist because we make little pieces of paper that say an action with
 74 intent automagically creates a criminal?  Or is this too simplistic -
 75 that I should be idealisticly reduce such a complicated matter to
 76 a ludicrious (sp) form?  Which is it?  Or is it neither?!?  Or both...
 77  
 78    Friar, where are you?  My ale is growing warm by the second...not
 79 to mention the ale in your stein (what ale? [BURP] I ordered TWO full
 80 steins, not one, barkeep!  Fill this one up again!)
 81  
 82    Methinks people to be on vacation still...this place is starting to
 83 croak!  More writing!  More information!  More liturature!  More
 84 b---s---!  Crimany and fnord, even the border pirate is on vacation!
 85  
 86    Turn the heat up until the disk melts in the drive!  Let's get some
 87 action here!
 88  
 89    Hagbard Celine, profoundly bored with his navel...
 90  
 91    (you don't really expect me to contemplate that, do you?...)
 92  
 93 -------------------------------------------------------------------------
009=Usr:435 JUSTIN TIME       07/05/88 23:13  Msg:1755 Call:10002148  Lines:8
 94 ++++++++++++ PSYCHO, here +++++++++++
 95 MICROWAVES- just one more reason for bachelors to REMAIN bachelors!!
 96 ++++++++++++ Bye, for now!! ++++++++++
 97@done
 98@o
 99@.done
100@DONE
101@done
010=Usr:322 Stray Cat         07/05/88 23:27  Msg:1756 Call:10002150  Lines:4
102  
103  
104 How come when I go "list" and it says "101" the lines stop at 96???? And why is
105 the Parrot down again??? Nobody answers there.
011=Usr:1 CISTOP MIKEY      07/06/88 01:15  Msg:1757 Call:10002154  Lines:10
106 Stray Cat, there are two ways to get rid of lines here. one is to
107 delete the line, and the other is to kill it. Kill physically 
108 removes the line while delete just marks it to not be shown.
109 Since the lines are still there but just not printed, they 
110 take up a line number. Thus what you saw was that someone had
111 deleted the last few lines since list shows the total physical
112 lines but can't print the deleted lines you saw the difference.
113 P.S. Parrot should be up, I just called (there was a power outage
114 earlier).
115 ****************** CISTOP MIKEY ********************************
012=Usr:70 Kurfur Redlig     07/06/88 19:29  Msg:1758 Call:10002178  Lines:20
116 KKKKKKKKKKurfur Redlig / What vacation??????????????????????????????????
117  
118 Hello again, our revered guru is correct, everyone must be on vacation.
119 The board has began to slow down considerably.  I'd do something to stop
120 it, but I'm currently suffering from an acute case of writers block.  In
121 case you're unfamiliar with this particular disease, here is the main
122 symptom:
123   
124    
125    
126     
127    
128    
129 As you can see, it's a very serious affliction.  If anyone out there has
130 a cure for it, please tell me.
131 Oh, by the way, wouldn't it be nice if certain persons, I won't say any 
132 names (Zod and The Border Pirate might get angry if I said it was them) 
133 would remain on vacation permanently.  
134  
135 KKKKKKKKKKKKurfur Redlig / I'm very bored, not much happ'ninnnnnnnnnnnnn
013=Usr:219 Friar Mossback    07/07/88 00:00  Msg:1759 Call:10002187  Lines:11
136 [][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]
137 I faded back to this reality.
138 "Hagbard, my friend, how are you?  I just came back from a fantasy 
139 land called Lost Angles, or some such.  Saw many and varied digital 
140 and analog machines you would love.  One such is charged with
141 prognosticating, and a batch of others to make music.  Wondrous
142 times we live in, eh? 
143 Tell me more about this Apprentice Guru schtick.  What do you do to
144 have such an important title?
145 And thanks, for the ale!"
146 [][][][][][][][][][][][][]   Friar    [][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]
014=Usr:447 General Zod       07/07/88 09:58  Msg:1760 Call:10002193  Lines:32
147 <><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>
148 This is General Zod.  
149 I have returned to let you know that
150 I am still here.  I have been 
151 watching the rather trivial topics
152 that have been here as of late.  I
153 find them boring.  I did notice one
154 message about what is a criminal.
155 In your society, a criminal is one
156 who does not conform to your ideas,
157 a person who, by means other than the
158 slow "earn it" process, makes large
159 personal gains, or one who is very
160 capable of taking over, as it was
161 with myself on Krypton.  I, General
162 Zod, could have taked the entire
163 planet, which in itself was a
164 personal gain, but I would have
165 brought Greatness to Krypton, But 
166 that frightened those snivelling
167 idiots that called themselves Elders,
168 who were but old.  They did not see
169 beyone their own weakness...see the
170 possibilities that Krypton could have
171 been.  No, they feared, and they died
172 as a result of that fear.  In
173 watching this place, I have detected
174 some among you who could easily see
175 my cause.  Join me....I will rule, 
176 and this world shall be yours.  You
177 shall know greatness.  I, General 
178 Zod, declare it so!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
015=Usr:507 todd rogers       07/07/88 12:02  Msg:1761 Call:10002200  Lines:10
179 -------You know.....
180 -------If Gen. Zip had a lotta water
181 -------He could fertilize the WHOLE country
182 -------...
183 -------To a depth of about... 10 feet!!
184 -------
185 -------The watchful observer      @ @
186                                    -
187                                    =
188  
016=Usr:70 Kurfur Redlig     07/07/88 12:31  Msg:1762 Call:10002203  Lines:26
189 <><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><
190 ----------{ I have returned! Guess who? }----------------------------------
191 ------------==========--------=========---------==========-------=-=======-
192 I am the Border Pirate, and I am back. I have been bringing twitliness to
193 new territories, but I looked back and found that you have begun to take
194 my absence lightly. You shall never be rid of the fosces of twitliness. I
195 shall overrun this message board with my messages of obnoxiousness. General
196 Zod, I congratulate you on your return and ask you to join me. Help me to
197 overcome these petty users and I shall give you the Earth, nay, the whole
198 solar system. None shall defy me, and with you, Zod, I shall bring these 
199 weakling humans to their knees.
200 <><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>
201 ---------{ Twits will triumph }-------------------------------------------
202 TTTTTTTTThe Border Pirate / I shall never stop being a twitttttttttttttt
203  
204 KKKKKKKKKKurfur Redlig / Oh no, they're back!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
205  
206 Why did those two have to return, we were getting alongjust fine without
207 them. And both of them together. This is enough to make this board a 
208 toxic stupid site. Why don't they just go away and bother some other
209 board, one that runs at 300 baud so their tiny brains can keep up. My 
210 esteemed Guru, Friar, Cistop, and others, I vote we purge this board of
211 these bozos. Hey, maybe they'll fight each other over the planet, and
212 leave us alone.
213  
214 KKKKKKKKKKKurfur Redlig / Why isn't this line allways busy?????????????
017=Usr:379 Phoenix Polymorp  07/07/88 14:40  Msg:1763 Call:10002207  Lines:19
215 This Is World Watch Three>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>07-07-88>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>14:46
216  
217 This is Phoenix Polymorph for World Watch Three.  Wat I want to know is; Is 
218 Gen. Zit and the Border Pi Rat the same person.  It is not uncommon for 
219 T.W.I.T.s to assume psudio names and run all over respectable boards such as 
220 tis one.  Gen. Zit and the Border Pi Rat shuld mellow out and considder this:
221 The SystOp is all powerfull in this realm.  With the push of a button they can 
222 be flat-lined.  
223 Think about it.
224 For World Watch Three, I'm Phoenix Polymorph.
225  
226 14:51>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>WWiii
227  
228 THe Phoenix Polymorph show has been brought to you by Shtinko Cigarettes.
229 Shtinko, the long, un-filtered cigarettes for the upwardly mobile people who
230 can't wait to get finished....
231  
232 >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
233 ^C
018=Usr:507 todd rogers       07/07/88 15:43  Msg:1764 Call:10002209  Lines:8
234 ------- A Note of warning.....
235 -------
236 ------- TWITLESSNESS is contagious!!!
237 ------- However it can be cured by skilled SYSOPS...
238 -------
239 ------- The Watchfull Observer    @ @
240                                    -
241                                    O
019=Usr:70 Kurfur Redlig     07/07/88 15:51  Msg:1765 Call:10002210  Lines:13
242 KKKKKKKKKKurfur Redlig / H'lo aginnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn
243 Some one here at backwater suggested that General Bozod and The Bozo 
244 Pirate are the same person. I don't think so. Bozod uses a 40 column
245 machine (big letters are easier for idiots to read), while the Bozo
246 Pirate is irritating us via an 80 (I think ) column machine. If this 
247 helps in any way to get rid of these two twits, please use it.
248 Twits are obnoxious,
249 twits are dumb.
250 But the worst thing 'bout twits,
251 is we got more than one.
252 A poor poem at best, but its the best I can do considr'n my recent 
253 bout with writers block. The theme, at least, is sound.
254 KKKKKKKKKKurfur Redlig / Take our twits, pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
020=Usr:498 Hagbard Celine ,  07/07/88 16:48  Msg:1766 Call:10002212  Lines:54
255  
256 ---{ If I speak MultiForth in C, will I get a high-level assembly code? }
257  
258    Hail, friend Friar!  It's good to see you back!  Yes, these are 
259 wonderous times (at least in this generation) and it sounds like you had
260 FUN!
261    The answer to your question:  The title is a name, and nothing more.
262 Everyone on the board will make of it as they will.  I decided for the
263 GURU spot because I felt at ease with it - no in-fighting with the local
264 TWITS (unless they REALLY REALLY ask for it) and more time to think.  I
265 do not presume any rank at all - that's for Lord Beaker & others to do.
266 In fact, I have NO ranking, just a name which appears as a title.  I
267 saw the way things were set up, and figured I could hang around without
268 getting in the way too much.  Simply put, I'm here to deliver swift kicks
269 in the Mental Dept. (not to mention to my own grey matter) because 
270 most people don't think about what they are doing.  If everyone did, the
271 world could be a better place for everyone.  I tried to tell that to Zit,
272 but he's just interested in being a sadist (doesn't leave room for much
273 else in his head :).
274  
275    Generic Zit, for the last time, you were POPPED & left to dry on
276 the line.  You really are a twit, you know?  You've been outclassed by
277 Lord Beaker, Talos, ME, Friar, Kurfur, P. Polymorph, ^C, & many others
278 that I can't remember off hand but are certainly worthy of mention.
279  
280    In other words, buzz off.  Just about every user on this board
281 outclasses you in shear weight of intellect.  This also goes for the
282 sidekick, The Border Pirate, whom I personally dub as 'The border-line
283 potato' because your intellect matches one.  And yes, your hunches are
284 correct, they are one and the same!  I can personally vouch for the fact
285 that I saw one of the Zit's messages in 80 columns!  That, or else he
286 discovered how to edit his lines, but I don't think so...
287  
288    Hagbard Celine, resident GURU, requests the aid of the inhabitants of
289 BWMS II to vote for the out-ing of 'General Zod', and 'The Border Pirate'.
290 Please leave a vote with your next message as YEA or NEA.  The vote will
291 be tallyed and handed to MIKEY for his approval. (sp) I cast the first
292 ballot: NEA.  These Bozos detract from the board, make us waste value-
293 able (less?) space on disks (a good example is me) fending their
294 moronic ideas off elsewhere, and also steal valueable time for literary
295 works, philisophical questions, debates, information exchanges, and just
296 having fun!  Go bugger dead pigs, you deadheads!  I've already 'defeated'
297 you once, I don't need to do it again!  THIS IS YOUR LAST WARNING, ZIT.
298  
299    Sorry folks, but I sometimes become a little dramatic...the last lines
300 are for the two resident villige idiots.
301  
302    Hagbard Celine, flustered GURU.
303  
304    "Say, where's Angel?  Helga?  Temptress?  ... what do you mean, 'you
305 have dialed the wrong number'?  this is the haven, isn't it?  Sure seemed
306 like it..."
307  
308 -------------------------------------------------------------------------
021=Usr:70 Kurfur Redlig     07/07/88 17:43  Msg:1767 Call:10002213  Lines:20
309 KKKKKKKKKurfur Redlig / H'lo all you in da peanut galleryyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy
310 As I said before, H'lo. I have just one thing to say, Ifit weren't for the 
311 twits, this board would be (sarcastic tone) fun and enlightening. I can
312 say one thing for them though, at least they write in regularly. But if 
313 there's one thing worse than a twit it's a regular one. I, however, vote 
314 that we keep them (I'm still curious as to how this Bozo Pirate found out 
315 about the Milton Freelance's Backstabber Brigade. We have only a few 
316 members, and only three of us have modems, and the Bozo Pirate doesn't 
317 sound like any of them. As to how I know that wassis face knows about us, 
318 read disk B. I know I didn't write that message in which Hagbard's border
319 was first stolen, and I know the other members didn't write it, for they
320 were not using their modems at that time). It seems that the Bozo pirate
321 first started stealing borders after he found out it irritated you.
322 It seems that these twits are only being obnoxious for attention because
323 they're terribly insecure. You don't spend as much time in an asylum as I
324 have without learning a little Psychology. In any case, I intend to find
325 out who these twits, or twit, may be, and how they know about the
326 Backstabber Brigade. We really wouldn't degrade ourselves with public 
327 twitliness.
328 KKKKKKKKKKKKurfur Redlig / Twit hunter at largeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
022=Usr:283 KEVIN CONNELL     07/07/88 20:48  Msg:1768 Call:10002219  Lines:9
329 @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@USER 283###########################
330 Cistop Mikey: thanks! No more remorse! It'll be up SOON!
331    
332 Kurfur Redlig: Don't purge 300 bauders yet, I'm stuck with 300 bps this week!
333 @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@Sometime 3 days after the 4th###########
334  
335 |-  PS! (thisisstilluser283)  Phoenix P.- Srry for copying your ^C !
336  
337 @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@#######################################
023=Usr:70 Kurfur Redlig     07/07/88 20:55  Msg:1769 Call:10002220  Lines:7
338 KKKKKKKKKKurfur Redlig / Wassis? 3 times today???????????????????????????
339 Hello, I'd jus' like to clarify something. User 283, I never said to 
340 purge this system of 300 bauders. In fact, some of my only friends run at
341 300 baud. I just said that General Bozod and th Bozo Pirate should go to 
342 some 300 baud board which is slow enough for their puny brains to follow.
343 Sorry if there was any confusion.
344 KKKKKKKKKKKKurfur Redlig / Ban the Bozossssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss
024=Usr:78 Mark Derby        07/07/88 23:09  Msg:1770 Call:10002224  Lines:12
345 L_L_L_L_L_L_L_L_L_L_L_L_L_L_L_L_L_L_L_L_L_L_L_L_L_L_L_L_L_L_L_L_L_L_L_
346                                snailhead
347  
348 Twitdom is in the eye of the beholder (ugh)
349 There are things one could do which are a lot more obnoxious than
350 simple megalomaniacal rambling....
351 To be honest I've gotten a pretty good laugh out of the boulder
352 (THAT'S BOLDER---BORDER?) pirate and Gen. Sod's antics, at least
353 occasionally...
354 Seems to me that anarchy is one of Backwater's strongest points.
355 JJj^9]aD@
356  
025=Usr:219 Friar Mossback    07/07/88 23:51  Msg:1771 Call:10002225  Lines:18
357 [][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]
358 Well, the name suits you, Hagbard.  If any one ever looked like Hagbard 
359 Celine, Apprentice Guru, it is you.  Yes, the trip was enlightening.  I
360 was visiting my brother there who owns a recording studio.  Mostly audio
361 effects and voice overs.  (They had special names for them, but they lost
362 me half way through, with the Foley box.  I sai, it looks like a tray of 
363 gravel to me.)  I should be careful about ownership as well.  THey told me
364 they were a california success now, they owed more than two million dollars.
365 Gadzooks.
366 I see your ale is about done there.  Mine too.  Shall we order another, or
367 are you up to tilting at windmills?
368 [][][][][][][][][][][][][]   Friar    [][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]
369 (PS - Border Pirate, notice that there are three spaces in front of Friar, 
370 and four after.  Makes the brackets even.  ANd the length varies, depending
371 on how long I keep it up.  Do it right, now.
372 F.
373 [][][][][][][][][][]
374  
026=Usr:447 General Zod       07/08/88 06:35  Msg:1772 Call:10002230  Lines:19
375 <><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>
376 This is General Zod.  
377 to the TWIT,I believe referred to
378 herin as Border Pirate...I join NO 
379 one.  They join me!  I am GENERAL
380 Zod.  I Rule over many, and shall
381 soon rule over all.  To this Hagbard,
382 If you are so strong..face me!  Shall
383 we see if you are as good as you say?
384 If you want me gone, then face me,
385 and defeat me.  But be warned, I have
386 never lost, the fact that I am here
387 proves that.  And those that oppose
388 me, find that death can come VERY
389 slowly.  So, are you so brave now?
390 As for the rest of you, stay away.
391 This fight is not yours.
392 You can only get burned.
393 <><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>
027=Usr:70 Kurfur Redlig     07/08/88 09:38  Msg:1773 Call:10002234  Lines:20
394 _L_L_L_L_L_L_L_L_L_L_L_L_L_L_L_L_L_L_L_L_L_L_L_L_L_L_L_L_L_L_L_L_L_L_L
395 <><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>
396 --------{ Well well well, Zod's finally getting brave. }----------------
397 Zod, you've got one screwed up sense of priorities. The true core to 
398 being a twit lies not with conquest, although some of my greatest twit 
399 forerunners did in fact conquer (ie, Mr. Hitler). Conquest is only a 
400 secondary priority to true twitliness. I have grown beyond the desires
401 of conquering, and am now free to use all my energies in pursuit of the
402 true way of twits, annoying people. Fear not Zod, for in time, you will
403 come to know this, either by acting obnoxious with your messages of 
404 conquest or through careful thinking. Then you will be able to twit like
405 you've never twitted before, and conquest shall just come naturally.
406 Trust me Zod, this is the only way. I should know, for I am:
407  
408            !!!!!!!!!!!!!THE BORDER PIRATE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
409 -------{ None shall stop me }------------------------------------------
410 -------{ No one is safe }----------------------------------------------
411 ^C
412 the border piratethe border piratethe border piratethe border pirate
413 TThe Border Pirate / Listen and learn Zod, then power shall be yourssss
028=Usr:379 Phoenix Polymorp  07/08/88 14:44  Msg:1774 Call:10002241  Lines:16
414 HIYA folks! Phoenix here.  Lets keep zit ant the Pi Rat 'round so we can ALL
415 have someone to make fun of!
416  
417 I don't mind the use of 'my' ^C logo.  I've learned that sh*t happens, so I 
418 just flush and go with the flow.  As it is, my World Watch Three borde could
419 be considdered a take off from Bartender SLUG of Brittania's boarders...
420  
421 bt-the-way, what has become of Brittania and Justin the Blue?  And SLUG, well
422 he never shows up here any more....
423  
424 Any way, guess I'll be on my way, Phoenix Polymorph II out...
425 ^X
426 ^V
427 damnit!
428 ^D
429 ^c
029=Usr:7 Leonard Erickson  07/09/88 14:43  Msg:1775 Call:10002271  Lines:6
430 010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101
431 Border Pirate:
432 	Be careful! We *know* who you are! 
433 			For the NET
434 				NET 01
435 01010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010
030=Usr:245 Doug King         07/09/88 15:03  Msg:1776 Call:10002273  Lines:3
436  
437 Brain Picnic
438  
031=Usr:23 Grann             07/09/88 16:27  Msg:1777 Call:10002275  Lines:14
439 +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
440 An interesting game is being played here.  Who can be sure of who
441 is the twit, and who is lurking behind a pseudonym?  The NET, mayhap,
442 would know- they watch continuously, it seems.  Hidden communications
443 channels abound.  Why, from the look of the message above it would
444 seem that NET 01 knows something we rest do not!  How will it end, I
445 wonder?  What secrets will be revealed to us at last?  Will the stories
446 and debates continue?  BWMS II has become as busy as the old BWMS was
447 if you take into account the 629/999 line difference.
448 Just throwing in a few thoughts and stirring the pot,
449 +++++++++++++++++++++++++ An old timer ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
450@Who is this Kurfur Redlig/Border Pirate person anyway?  And how did
451@he find Kevin Connell's user number? 
452 lurk
032=Usr:70 Kurfur Redlig     07/09/88 17:41  Msg:1778 Call:10002278  Lines:18
453 101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010
454 ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
455 L_L_L_L_L_L_L_L_L_L_L_L_L_L_L_L_L_L_L_L_L_L_L_L_L_L_L_L_L_L_L_L_L_L_L_L_
456  
457 If you really know my identity, then prove it. Not even The Backstabber
458 Brigade knows who I am. I call your bluff, show the facts. None of you 
459 could ever find me out, for ( pay attention ) I am:
460 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!THE BORDER PIRATE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
461  
462 [][][][][][][][][][]   The Border Pirate    [][][][][][][][][][][][][][]
463 101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010
464 -----{ NET knows nothing }----------------------------------------------
465 KKKKKKKKKKKKKKKurfur Redlig / Still ponderingggggggggggggggggggggggggggggg
466  
467 Hey, Bozo Pirate, how do you know about the Backstabber Brigade? Also, why
468 do you allways act so stupid?
469  
470 KKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKurfur Redlig / Still hunting Twitssssssssssssssssssssssss
033=Usr:447 General Zod       07/09/88 20:28  Msg:1779 Call:10002281  Lines:8
471 <><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>
472 This is General Zod.
473 Beware. My minions and I are moving
474 on this place.  Soon, you all shall
475 know the Power, Might, and Ultimate
476 Superiority of Zod!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
477 <><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>
478  
034=Usr:428 Mercury X         07/09/88 20:48  Msg:1780 Call:10002282  Lines:15
479 ((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((())))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
480  
481 I'm back again...
482  
483 My border hasn't been stolen, Pi rat! Thanks.
484 I vote to purge Zod and the Pi rat from BWMS. This board is too good for them.
485  
486 Or, they might stay.  Work off steam at them and prevent abuse.
487  
488 I am confusedconfusedconfused...ARRGH! STOP! STOP! Whew, sometimes you get like
489 that.
490 Do we exist...Or are we variables in a program?? I we are variables, would that
491 mean that if there was a bug in the program, that we would see another
492 demision?? Or would it mean that Sod and the Pi rat are the bugs??
493 ((((((((JUL 9(((((((((((((((((((Mercury))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
495 KKKKKKKKKKKKurfur Redlig / Twits go homeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
496  
497 Very deep, over my head in fact. If we are all living in a program, is 
498 there any way to edit it. If so, I think we should try to remove
499 undesirable things (twits, income tax, the DMV, cobalt cased 
500 thermonuclear explosives, etc.) and create nifty stuff (inexpensive 
501 jeep repairs, free hand and a half swords (to put on the wall), computer
502 protocals that actually work, etc.). Also, what would happen if reality
503 were accidentally deleted? Who's the programmer? Does he/she have a 
504 backup? Are we copy protected?
505  
506 KKKKKKKKKKKurfur Redlig / I hope we're in a good microprocessorrrrrrrrr
036=Usr:78 Mark Derby        07/09/88 23:17  Msg:1782 Call:10002286  Lines:6
507  
508 Kurfur Redlig, what an interesting handle.  Did you know
509 that 'Kurfur Redlig' is 'Gilder Rufruk' spelled backwards?
510 For that matter, 'Santa' is an anagram of 'Satan'.
511  
512 Hmmm...  I smell a rat.
037=Usr:70 Kurfur Redlig     07/09/88 23:27  Msg:1783 Call:10002287  Lines:11
513 KKKKKKKKKKKurfur Redlig / Purple Haze on violins???????????????????????
514 To those of you who are wondering, my handle comes from the name I was 
515 called as a child (Kurfur) and from my half Laplander, Half Berserker
516 Viking clan name (Redlig). This is to clear up any questions as to how 
517 I got this name, and to prove that it has some background. I hope I'm 
518 not the rat you smell, I don't have any whiskers as far as I know of,
519 but then again, you may be using the slang meaning, which still 
520 wouldn't apply (I may be a bit odd, but at least I'm not like our two
521 resident twits). Sorry about those last attempts to explain myself, but
522 my Berserker bloodlines cause me to be a bit paranoid.
523 KKKKKurfur Redlig / Whats in a name? Zod, were he bill, would be as inaneee
038=Usr:498 Hagbard Celine ,  07/09/88 23:47  Msg:1784 Call:10002288  Lines:62
524  
525 ---{ To be, or not to be.  That is NOT the question. }-------------------
526  
527    Kudos to you, Mercury!  Vote so far: 2 YEAS, 0 NEAS.
528  
529    Anarchy?  Or Anarchism?  Whoever said the ref. about 'anarchy' needs to
530 read a good book...or see a movie...or go on vacation...or... you get the
531 picture.  Anarchism is CONSTRUCTIVE.  Anarchy is DESTRUCTIVE.  Simply because
532 it is easier to have anarchy than anarchism does not mean that it is
533 correct.  It would, by the same train of thought, be harder to stop running
534 when your fellow lemmings start heading for the cliff.  For the potential
535 of something 'good' (desireable) I would rather have anarchism (and stop
536 running towards that scary cliff...) - but if you wish 'to ignore the
537 easy path, and take the hard one, then you will give up heaven, and go
538 to hell'...
539  
540    Kurfur, I would like to have conference with you about psychology and
541 human nature.  There are still things that humans must discover about
542 themselves before the whole species self-destructs.  I therefore put forth
543 a premise: "It is possible to have life without it self-destructing."
544 Please ponder this.  I wish to test this out...
545  
546    Fnords, Zit, Fnords!  I don't need to fight you.  I already have.  Go
547 home and suck on your fudgesickle.  I'm tired of having _______s like you
548 ____ing with caring, intelligent people who I would gladly give my time
549 and most devoted efforts to.
550  
551    My good friend Friar, would you think that I could ignore you?  I've 
552 aready downed one stein.  Have another!  In fact, I have a nice idea-
553  
554    L E T ' S   P A R T Y ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !
555  
556    Every non-twit in backwater is invited to this space & time, lodged
557 between limbo and 'reality' and dreams.  Because things 'run differently'
558 here, we can even lock out the twits!  They'll be so irked they might
559 even shoot themselves from the frustration of trying to annoy everyone 
560 here!  Besides, I can make all the gold we need... & the barkeep doesn't 
561 mind...and everyone will have a good time!
562  
563    Mecury, L. Beaker, Kurfur, ^C, Friar, myself, & anyone else we
564 choose is invited.  Sorry if your name doesn't appear - just say you
565 want to join, and you'll pop right in here (at my whim - unless Friar
566 sends you back...but I think him to be a resonable person.)
567  
568    Say, did you catch any brand names?  Sounds like the good stuff to me 
569 (pun not intended) & well worth 2 mil.  Barkeep, (URP) a pitcher.  And
570 here's the advance on the party [barkeep's eyes widen and his pupils
571 narrow as he drops the pitcher] - and a little extra for the pitcher.
572 Bring another, quick!  My friend and I grow thirsty, and there is much
573 for us to do!
574  
575    (The reasonably intelligent reader will realize that I am trying a 
576 tactic that will bypass the twits and ignore them.)  (and any twits
577 reading this will suffer from a large brain tumor.)
578  
579    Hagbard Celine, Apr. GURU and feeling better (URP)
580  
581 ----------------------------------{}-------------------------------------
582    OOPS methinks to have had too much ale too fast.  Apologies to snailhead
583    H.C., Rez Apprentice Guru
584 ---{ ...but Shakespeare was screwed up anyway. }----------------------
585  
039=Usr:70 Kurfur Redlig     07/10/88 00:55  Msg:1785 Call:10002290  Lines:27
586 KKKKKurfur Redlig / A twitless party, sounds great, any Mead?????????????
587 Hagbard, our most reverred and twit ignoring guru, I think your theory is
588 sound, take Limpets for example, they are alive, and they never hurt 
589 anything, including themselves. However, I think I can add some offshoots.
590 Intelligence without wisdom brings certain destruction. Existence brings
591 destruction, for all things that begin must end. Life, however, is 
592 eventually scheduled for destruction (look at my last point), but it 
593 doesn't (and this is the major point here) have to bring destruction upon
594 itself. That strange creature that calls himself modern man (of which I,
595 reluctantly, am a member) doesn't seem to realize this, but it's no use
596 telling man that, for primates rarely listen to what they don't want to 
597 hear. It's easier (as you said) to follow the crowd, straight into hell.
598     But on to more interesting things. Just as I said before, does the
599 Inn this twitless get together will be at (terrible grammar) serve mead?
600 If it does, then I most humbly ask to join you. If it doesn't, then 
601 anything along the lines of intoxicating hydrocarbons will have to
602 suffice. Also, will there be a twit check, or will we just ignore them?
603 Also also, to get there, do I take a left at the edge of nowhere, or 
604 just banf it and hope for the best?
605 KKKKKurfur Redlig / Am I acting (gag) mature again?????????????????????
606 Oh, by the way, I should like to meet this Lord Beaker. I noticed he hasn't 
607 been around for quite some time. Is he off combatting twits or something?
608 KKKKKKKurfur Redlig / the only good twit is a silent oneeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
609 Also also also. It is my theory that Shakespeare wrote his plays 
610 solely as a means to provide stressfull exam material for english
611 literature students.
612 KKKKKKKurfur Redlig / This is the last time tonightttttttttttttttttt
040=Usr:219 Friar Mossback    07/10/88 10:34  Msg:1786 Call:10002295  Lines:15
613 [][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]
614 Well, then we shall have a small celebration before we go to tilt at
615 windmills.  I don't understand what these twit things are.  Are they little
616 rodents, whimsical creatures, just thought forms?  I do know I found a
617 young boy trying on my cloak the other day, and I had to instruct him in
618 how to button it.  I see today that he has one like it now, and is 
619 wearing it properly.  (Congatulations there, Boy Pirate)
620 Well, since the barkeep has brought a new pitcher, let us sit at this table
621 and discuss what we should do next.  I think if we can gather a band of 
622 adventurers together, we might be able to go and fetch the holy book of
623 Opsys from the land of ChronoPiMong and return it to its rightful owner.  
624 Somewhere in the archives of an old place, The Dead System Scrolls, there
625 was reference to such an adventure.  Are you game, after the revelry?
626 [][][][][][][][][][][][][][]   Friar    [][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]
627  
041=Usr:88 scott machaffie   07/10/88 11:27  Msg:1787 Call:10002297  Lines:8
628     I am glad to see that the air has started to clear. Stooping to insults
629 only lowers the quality of the conversation. Perchance I might stay awhile
630 if the conversation remains good.
631     Life exists merely to destroy other life. Predators destroy prey, man
632 destroys animals, man destorys man.
633  
634                                  the musician
635  
042=Usr:11 L'homme sans Par  07/10/88 13:05  Msg:1788 Call:10002299  Lines:6
636 And General Zod destroys brain cells. He is virus of unspeakable
637 twitliness. A scourge on the face of BBSdom. But we will endure. The
638 candle of twits burn oh so very bright. And like all things that
639 burn brightly in the night, they expire with a wimper and are gone
640 forever.
641 \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\//////////////////////////////////////////
043=Usr:399 Jane Ury          07/10/88 13:30  Msg:1789 Call:10002301  Lines:5
642 *%*%^*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%
643 James told me about backwater parties........
644                 Cervenka
645  
646 ****%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%**%*%**
044=Usr:483 Lord Beaker       07/10/88 14:55  Msg:1790 Call:10002304  Lines:43
647 -=-====-=------=-======-=-====-=------==-----===-=-=======-=--------=-======
648 IIIIIIIIIIIAAAHHHH!!!!!!
649       Foreword! Onward! Upword!  We must chalenge the paradigm for only then
650 can we TRULY grow!!!  (you shood please note that any miss spellings are in
651 fact a chalenge of the paradigm snd not cause by the ignorence of the author
652 .  
653  
654 HI!  I'm back...again!  Kufur watchamacalit, hi.  Tis I.  Lord incadesently 
655 Beaker \__/ .  I must say it's ceratanly wounderful to be me.  I'm quit good
656 at it   oo  to.
657  
658 Even if I can't spell and type at the same time.  I sort of planned to 
659 change all of these mistakes after the achievance of G0d-hood.
660  
661 Nobodys going to believe this but [Dramatic Pause] [Longer Pause], but [The 
662 Type of Pause That Happens When you Realize You actualy don't have anything
663 to say]...
664  
665 Harrumph.
666  
667 Oh yeah.  My twit vote,  what were the choices?  Oh never mind: Yea Nea
668 Hey how do you spell those?            
669  
670 I can't decide.  There just so cute when get all huffed up.
671  
672 You know if you mix copper dust with a pesons nail trimmings, ignite it with
673 gun powder and loudly say "Enn tun eh zu MAREKA" that absolutly nothing
674 happens to them (Unless there point of view towards your sanity is an issue 
675 with them)!
676  
677 I suppose your all sick of now though.  I certainly am.  This is the 
678 pre-almighty...
679                Lord G0d Beaker \__/
680                WIF
681                 WAG(H.C.)       ^^  
682                  TTR            || 
683                   ECT.          oo<--These go up there!
684  
685 HGBRD, how 'bout some WIsDomiC words or something,  I'm all worn out.
686 ---==-=-----=-=--{=-=-------=-=======-----=-=======-=-------=-========-=----
687 NO IM NOT!  ohh never mind.  I just hate leaveing.
688 LordG0dBeaker\__/WIFWAG(H.C.)^^TTR||ECT.oo<--These go up there!
689 -==-==-{-=-===========-=-=--------=-========-=-----------=-==========-=-----
045=Usr:70 Kurfur Redlig     07/10/88 16:11  Msg:1791 Call:10002305  Lines:23
690 KKKKKKKurfur Redlig / All hail Lord Beaker, the anti-zoddddddddddddddddddddd
691 H'lo der agin. Did somebody mention a quest? If so, please tell me if you 
692 need someone to bash infidel heads, get terribly intoxicated, say meaningless
693 things, hunt Smurfs for food (they're great with Tabasco), and sleep on 
694 guard duty (though not nessecarily in that order). Basically, do you need a
695 Berserker? If you do, I'm all set to get to work (or play as the case may
696 be). I promise to go into a berserkergang frenzy at attack everything in
697 sight only occasionally. I might also prove useful in the comedy relief
698 department (but I think Zod and company have got that covered). 
699     Lord Beaker etc. well met! I should sertqinly hope that you are here to
700 stay for a while. We need a little help in the twit buster area. Also (I 
701 seem to say that a lot, don't I?), don't worry about spelling, it just 
702 means your brain is working too fast for your fingers.
7030    Hagbard and other thinking persons, what do you think about mankind's 
704 job of stewardship over the planet? I personally think (amazing, I can 
705 actually think!) that man has majorly blown it. I mean, look at how he goes 
706 around acting liku he0owns the place, putting profit before ecology. 
707 Eventually, man is going to waste himself (if things go as they are), but
708 does he have to take the planet with him? I live here too you know, but,
709 thanks to bipedal primates, I'm finding it insreasingly hard to remain so. 
710     I hope I haven't offended anyone here with my message. The Smurf thing
711 was pushing it, but that's how I feel. 
712 KKKKKurfur Redlig / How can I break my caffiene addiction?????????????????
046=Usr:379 Phenix Polymorp  07/10/88 19:04  Msg:1792 Call:10002309  Lines:4
713  
714 This is Phoenix Polymorph II.  What I want to know is; when people refer to
715 '^C' do they mean me?
716 ^C
047=Usr:70 Kurfur Redlig     07/10/88 19:38  Msg:1793 Call:10002310 0Linec:1
717 KKKKKKurfur Redlig / Caffiene wasted, but very happyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy
048=Usr:70 Kurfur Redlig     07/10/88 19:41  Msg:1794 Call:10002311  Lines:5
718 Pheonix Polymorph II, I should assume it is you they mean when '^C' is
719 typed. Who e|se sould it be? Also, Where did you get a title like
720 Pheonix Polymorph II? Are you an immortal transmute, or is it just a
721 title?
722 KKKKKKKKKurfur Redlig / I'm tired, The Bard's tale wears you outtttttt
049=Usr:245 Doug King         07/10/88 21:49  Msg:1795 Call:10002313  Lines:3
723  
724 < Brain Picnic >
725  
050=Usr:70 Kurfur Redlig     07/10/88 23:31  Msg:1796 Call:10002317  Lines:2
726 say what?!
727  
051=Usr:70 Kurfur Redlig     07/10/88 23:47  Msg:1797 Call:10002318  Lines:4
7"8 [KKKKKKKurfur Redlig / five lines since last we metttttttttttttttttt
729 I thought I'd leave a message now, but I've allready used up far too
730 disk space, so I won't.
731 KKKKKKKKKurfur Redlig / Caffiene withdrawals, AAAAAIIIIIYYYYYEEEEEEE
052=Usb:50' todd rogers       07/11/88 01:51  Msg:1798 Call:10002321  Lines:11
732 -------
733 -------In all the centuries I have watched BBS throughout the galaxies
734 -------the only way to out twit a twit without being a twit is to
735 -------ignore the twids......
736 -------This is like not feeding the giant red billed, green feathered
737 -------wango wangi bird of ooZhiLo. It simply loses interest and goes
738 -------elsewhere to feed.
739 -------
740 -------   The watchfull observer      @ @
7$1   0                                    -
742                                        =
053=Usr:283 KEVIN CONNELL     07/11/88 02:41  Msg:1799 Call:10002322  Lines:14
743 @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@User 283###############################
744 Kurfur- No worbies!
745 That one dude that said all the names, bout the party- I'm interested
746    
747  
748 ALL USERS HERE!- I invite you to the grand opening of God-Only-Knows (G.O.K.)
749 BBS, coming soon to a West Linn number to you!  I'm inviting all users0do
'50 come enjoy a similar bbs to BWII, maybe better, most likely worse, bot NONE
751 THE LESS, zit and Pi Rat WON'T be there! Hope to see ya'll there soon! 
752 Further announce ments later!
753 @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@Sometime early on monday##3###3###
754 ^C  Oops, sorry, phoenix!
755  
756  
054=Usr:20 Green Eyes        07/11/88 10:48  Msg:1800 Call:10002331  Lines:8
757  
758 (* IIIIIIIVVVIVIIVIIIIX (*) IXVIIIVIIVIVIVIIIIII *)
759  
760 If this party is going to be guaranteed twitlesc0as promised, the
761 Dancer just might be persuaded to perform.
762 Green Eyes
763 07/11/88
764 (*IIIIIIIVVVIVIIVIIIIV (*) IXVIIIVIIVIVIVIIIIIII *)
055=Usr:245 Doug King         07/11/88 15:11  Msg:1801 Call:10002339  Lines:3
765  
766 < Brian Pic~ic >
767  
056=Usr:447 General Zod       07/11/88 17:35  Msg:1802 Call:10002342  Lines:11
768 <><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>
769 This is General Zod.
770 It appears as if both hagbard and 
771 beaker fear me.  They decline to face
772 me, so Y can assume nothing else.  As
773 for "ignoring" me, that is fine. 
774 It makes my takeover of your world
775 all the easier.  Ignore me, and when
776 you wake up, I will be in control.
777 Then, you shall know, I am ZOD!!!!!!!
778 <><><><><><><><>,><>,><><><><><><><>
057=Usr:93 ILLUMINATI PRIMU  07/11/88 18:20  Msg:1803 Call:10002343  Lines:6
779  
780 **************************************************************************
781  YOU SHALL MEET THEN WE WILL TALK,
782        HAGBARD.
783  3RD YLLU]INATI PRIMUS
784 **************************************************************************
058=Usr:70 Kurfur Redlig     07/11/88 18:25  Msg:1804 Call:10002344  Lines:14
785 KKKKKKKKKurfur Redlig / 100% pure me speaking to youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu
'860Jod, You really think you have destructive power, don't you. Well I have
787 news for you. I know of something which has the power to destroy whole 
788 planets, slowly and insidiously poisoning th
789 Border Pirate, the same goes to you. You think0iou'be a twit, but
790 compared to the above mentioned entity, you're a loser. This thing I 
791 mentioned not only destroys planets, but does it without realizing that
792 it's destroying itself in the process. It's just too stupid, or 
793 obnoxious,0to uven care.
794 GENERAL ZOD AND THE BORDER PIRATE, YOU DON'T HOLD A CANDLE TO HOMO 
795 SAPIENS! YOU'VE BOTH BEEN OUTDONE BEFORE YOU STARTED, AND BY NOTHING
796 BUT MONKEYS! GIVE IT UP, YOU'LL NEVER OUTDO MANKIND AT TYRRANY AND
797                  0   0   TWITTING
798 KKKKKKKKKurfur Redlig / You two aren't even good at being stupiddddddd
059=Usr:78 Mark Derby        07/11/88 22:37  Msg:1805 Call:10002357  Lines:24
799  
800 --------->>       snailhead
801  
802 I've actually heard a song callud 'Smurf in the Gulag'.  Wasn't much to
803 listen to, but I appreciated the sentiment.  I wouldn't ever eat a smurf,
804 much as I dislike them...if there's anything to transubstantiation
805 (hey, enough sesquipedalian erudition) what I mean is, if it's tbue that
806 you are what you eat...
807 we're sorry, but you're no longer needed
808 or wanted, or even cared about here
809 machines can do a better job than you
810 and this is what you get for asking questions
811 the unions agree sacrifices }usd0be made
812 computers never go on strike
813 to save the working man you got to put him out to pasture
814 looks like we'll have to let you go
815 but doesn't it feel fulfilling to know
816 that you the human being are now obsolete
817 and there7s nthing in hell we'll let you do about it
818  
819 'soup is good food' Jello Biafra
820 (my teachers taught me always to properly cite references)
821 bye <<-------------
822  
060=Usr:498 Hagbard Celine ,  07/11/88 23:35  Msg:1806 Call:100023580 Li~es:65
823 ---{ Which is real, the trip or the tripper? }---------------------------
824  
825    A hearty greeting to everyone!  I've been phasing in and out recently,
826 but I think I will be here for a awhile now.  Yes, mead, ale, wine, and
827 other things from strange lands called Coca-Cola Corp. and Pepsi Inc. 
828 will be served, along with every known drink in the galaxy!
829  
830    Shakespeare- was he a real genious, or did he just look better than
831 Mr. Bacon (which allowed him to0sway the ladies with his 'prose')?  Or is
832 that theory bunk?  What is the deal with this english reject anyway?  And
833 why do we have to read everything in 'olde' English vs. Modern English?
834 Or at least have the poor students have both side bi0sidu for comparison, so
835 they would feel fortunate, and study English harder so we would all speak
836 better English than the Japanese (no offense meant)????
837  
838    Friar, a twit is akin to the insect that borrows between your toes and
8390bituc them as you walk.  They are also just as hard to get out, except
840 it takes more than singeing (sp) your toes with a hot wire....
841  
842    Beaker:
843    "You can't have life without Death" (as if you probably don't know that
844 aready) 8along with everyone else, it seems...at least I have found some
845 'sane' minds amoung people)
846  
847    Kurfur again:
848    I don't eat smurfs.  I just absorb their essence for food.  The dark-
849 blue husk that remains usually returns to dust,0as Smurfs are not real life
850 entities (is that word play? :) ) that can reproduce.
851  
852    And again:
853    You're right, man has screwed up his own house by letting his
854 kitchen drain cleaner drop into his refrigerator, and all over his |uncx...
855 if something is not done soon, say, with the Amazon Forest, there will not
856 be a place left for my children and your children and their children to walk
857 upon this place of earth and trees and sun and sand and sea and nights...
858 ufen0as we speak, (? I guess) our air supply is being depleted in the name
859 of progress, as the Amazon Basin is chopped and cut and burned and hacked
860 and misused, for it doesn't belong to one group of people - it belongs
861 to everyone.  The Amazons `rovide 25% of the oxygen in the air...and
862 'scientists' are already warning about 'the Greenhouse Effect' and
863 ozone depletetion and increased skin cancer and bad droughts and 'El Nino'
864 and ... you get the picture...
865  
866    3rd Il|umi~ati Primus, you do not exist, the Illuminati does not
867 exist.  Nothing exists, by your 'standards'... wake up!
868  
869    Friar Again:
870    Adventure?  Can we have it after the party, or do you want to make it
871 part of the party?  (gulgulgu|gulgulg) (ahhhhh) And do your feet still
872 touch the floor, or does your forehead do that?  Also, everyone except
873 General Zod and The Border Pirate are now invited to this dimension...
874 simply turn left at the library of myths, go straight, stop at the
875 corner of limbo and reality.  There you will see a long long long string.
876 Touch it.  You will be SWISHHHHED into it.  The sign on the Inn should
877 read "Inn of Imagination and Adventure".
878  
879    Cheers to Lord Beaker, youb redurn enlivens us all!
880  
881    Join us, please, Kurfur.  I would like an adventure.  I could stand in
882 for a monk/priest/magician....at your descresion, Friar...
883  
884    Hagbard Celine, Apprentice Guru & filling with ale rapidly (BURP)
8(5  
886 ---{ Sorry.  Our operators are all busy.  Please stand by... }----------
887  
061=Usr:70 Kurfur Redlig     07/12/88 00:10  Msg:1807 Call:10002359  Lines:31
888 KKKKKKKKKurfur Redlig / one can never have too much aleeeeeeeeeeeeeee
889 H'lo0agi~. I'm glad I didn't offend anyone with that Smurf commen. 
890 I think, however, that some of you are wondering as to why I like to 
891 eat Smurfs. Well let me put it this way. They taste overly bland, but
892 preparing them, and the final consumpdio~ is so enjoyable. First, you
893 skewer them and roast them slowly over a very hot fire, basting with 
894 your favorite seasonings occasionally. Then, allow them to cool, 
895 remove the stick, and eat by dismembermant. Yes, Smurfs are the 
896 u|dimade 'finger food'. I know this sounds a little sadistic, but I've
897 had to put up with LAA LAA LA LA LAA LAAAA for years, so I think I'm
898 justified.
899      Why are we so hung up on Shakespeare? (Sudden topic change, huh?)
900 If you want a gbuat rritish author, try Mallory or White. Mallory,
901 because he did things (he was the only unpardoned participant in the
902 war of the Roses), and White, because he has a very clear view of
903 things. But this isn't a report, so on to other subjecds.
904      What happened to that new 'Twilight Zone' series? That was the 
905 sanest, thing on TV I'd seen in a long time, and it disappeared.
906      Interesting thought here. We're creating a greenhouse cloud 
907 around the earth heating things u`. Then, when it gets too hot for us,
908 we turn on the airconditioning, and destroy the ozone layer in doing
909 so. Isn't the Earth getting wonderfull? We can sweat and fry at the 
910 same time.
911      Great, I can join in the quest, can't I? Jusd remember, if 
912 anyone needs my assistance, I'll be asleep on guard duty.
913      Oh, by the way, I'm still writing my Mindless Drivel, but the 
914 statements have gotte longer and become paragraphs. You just read 
915 some of them.
916      Wel|, gtta go, used up too much space again, and prevented 
917 other from putting down their full thoughts. Sorry 'bout that.
918 KKKKKKKurfur Redlig / Smurfs, finger lickin' good!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
062=Usr:245 Doug King         07/12/88 16:46  Msg:1809 Sall:10002375  Lines:3
919  
920 << Brain Picnic >>
921  
063=Usr:70 Kurfur Redlig     07/12/88 18:49  Msg:1810 Call:10002380  Lines:9
922 Who said that, and why?
923 KKKKKKKKKKurfur Redlig / How 'bout dem VP choicesssssssssssssssssssssss
924  
925 H'|o agin. What ever happ'nd to the stories that were being written
926 here? I'd write something if it weren't for one thing, no writin' 
927 ability. Remember, any disk space you use up is disk space that out 
928 resident twits can't mess up. The mbe you write, the less they can.
929  
930 KKKKKKKKKKKurfur Redlig / My, this has been a fast diskkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk
064=Usr:219 Friar Mossback    07/12/88 20:17  Msg:1811 Call:10002383  Lines:11
931 [][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]K][]K][][][][][]
932 Well folks, I think the adventure can wait until the party is over. 
933 I just ask that you don't leave without me.  I will be gone starting
934 next wednesday, through the following wednesday.  But for now,
935 drink up!  The pardy is0starting!
936 [][][][][][][][][][][][][]   Friar    [][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]
937 PS.  What happened to the Pirate?  We might need him when we cross
938 dimensional borders into ither lands.
939 F.
940 [][][][][][][][]
941  
065=Usr:3790@hoenix Polymorp  07/12/88 20:58  Msg:1812 Call:10002384  Lines:2
942 *hic!*
943 ^C
066=Usr:70 Kurfur Redlig     07/12/88 21:37  Msg:1813 Call:10002386  Lines:15
944 KKKKKKKKurfur Redlig / Maybe Mr. Pirate got lost in the directoryyyyy
945    
946 Pqbty or Quest? As far as any berserker is concerned, they're both 
947 the same. Twits of the world unite. Then maybe you'll have enough 
948 brain power to figure out how useless and stupid you really are.
949  
950 KKKKKKKKKurfur Redlig / Yes, I am qeyte sane. HA HA HA HAAAAAAAAAAAA
951  
952 Oh jah, I still don't think our two bozos are the same person. I 
953 instead believe that Zit and the Bozo Pirate are actually a group
954 of people. It would take a bunch of people like them to have 
955 enough IQ points to figure out how to type their messages.
956 Just a thought,
957  
958 KKKKKKKKKKKurfur Redlig / Party next disk, or what??????????????????
067=Usr:447 General Zod       07/13/88 07:11  Msg:1814 Call:10002404  Lines:10
959 <><><><><><>,><>,><><><><><><><><><>
960 This is General Zod.
961 kurfur:I am ZOD!  The ultimate, the
962 supreme one!  I need no group, and
963 I know this border pirate not.  He
964 is beneath me.  My greatness shall
965 rule.  Beware...I come soon.
966 Then iou chall know the Might, Power,
967 and ultimate superiority of ZOD!!!!!!
968 <><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>
068=Usr:70 Kurfur Redlig     07/13/88 09:17  Msg:1815 Call:10002406  Lines:10
969 No you aren't.
970 KKKKKKKKurfur Redlig / Zod's got `roblums, brain problemssssssssss
971    
972 Hey, Zofeel honored that we here at backwater 
973 actually give you even a little consideration. Listen up Zod. 
974 Any time you think you're good enough to face me, I'll be ready to 
975 prove you aren'd. A{ {_any time I could crack this board, 
976 find your identity, and delete you. You are nothing! Even the 
977 Border Pirate has outdone you. He's had the decency to go away 
978 (so it seems). Remember what you face, Zod, an Honored Holy Man,
069=Ucr:7  Kurfur Redlig     07/13/88 09:39  Msg:1816 Call:10002407  Lines:21
979 A Reverred Guru, an Almost God, and a Paranoid Berserker (myself,
980 All of which, even the Berserker, is vastly more intelligent 
981 than you. I suggest that you give up, Zd, You have no chance.
982  
983       To all you non-twits. Remember. Someone important once said,
984 "blessed are the meek." This means we should all humble out. Well I
985 have an addition. "Speak and act humbly, but make sure you carry a 
986 sharp cword." I don't really think people should be agressors, but
987 they should make sure that non enlightened people don't agress them.
988   
989 Just a thought from a Paranoid Berserker.
990  
991 KKKKKKKKKKurfur Redlig / Zod is a figment of my imaginationnnnnnnnn
992  
993 What the heck! I'll finish this disk.
994  
995 All of you non-twits, be glad that you have a board like this one 
996 to write all your thoughts on. In some other nasty countries it 
997 would probably be censored.
998 Also, I"M AT THE BOTTOM, I'M AT THE BOTTOM. I'M THE LAST ONE!!!!!
999 KKKKKKurfur Redlig / From the beginning to the end, Alpha to Omegaaaa