💾 Archived View for gemini.spam.works › mirrors › textfiles › messages › BACKWATER › bw851206.txt captured on 2022-06-12 at 15:55:53.
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1 If you are in need of help, you need but ask...
2 ************************* INSTALLED: 6 DEC 85 ***********************
3 Welcome to BWMS (BackWater Message System) Mike Day System operator
4 ************************************************************
5 GENERAL DISCLAIMER: BWMS IS NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR ANY INFORMATION
6 PLACED ON THIS SYSTEM.
7 BWMS was created as an electronic bill board. BWMS is a privately owned
8 and operated system which is currently open for use by the general public.
9 No restrictions are placed on the use of the system. As the system is
10 privately owned, I retain the right to remove any and all messages which
11 I may find offensive. Because of the limited size of the system, it will be
12 periodically purged of messages. (only 629 lines of data can be saved)
13 To leave a message, type 'ENTER' and use ctrl/C or break to get out of the
14 ENTER mode. The message is automatically stored. If after entering the
15 message you find you made a mistake, use the replace command to replace
16 the line. To exit from the system, type 'OFF' then hang up.
17 Type 'HELP' to see other commands that are available on the system.
18 ***********************************************************
19
20 ............. ............. ............. ............. ............. .............
21 A
22 Beams of pale yellow light bathe me as I enter the establishment of spirits. Sounds of clinking glass along
23 with the smell of warm drinks and stale cigarette smoke overwhelm me. Something about the echo of the voices
24 tells me that I'm in the right place. I amble to the counter that has long been abandoned by customers.
25 "Hello... Stuart. Are you still serving dinner?"
26 "You walked up right in time; we stop serving in..." A strange look came over his face. "Is that really
27 you?" I barely nodded. "My god, it's been..."
28 "It has been awhile. Let us just say that it has been awhile." My eyes remained lowered, never making long
29 establishing contact with his. "Have you been here all this time? Looking over the business?"
30 "Nah, I've been out of slinging the ice cubes for some time. I came back not too long ago just to help out
31 with the income. Tips and all that fun stuff. Know what I mean?" he asked with a wink and a nod.
32 "I suppose. Listen Stuart, I'm looking for a friend..."
33 "Ain't we all? Hey, if you're not looking for anything serious, there's this one dame that..."
34 "No, that is not what I had in mind. I'm looking for someone inparticular. I'm looking for a Mr. Smirnoff.
35 Perhaps you remember seing me with him before? I would like to have a few words with him if I may."
36 Pausing for a moment one could almost see the light come on for Stuart. "Oh, sure! Yea, Mr. Smirnoff. I
37 think I can get him for you." He draws a clean glass and a bottle from the shelf behind him. "Okay, here comes
38 Mr. Smirnoff now."
39 "There are quite a few matters I have to go over with him. The sooner I get started the better." Stuart
40 has hardly enough time to turn around before I comment. "I'm having a bit of a problem hearing him. Do you
41 think you could get him to speak up a little louder?" He notices the now empty glass.
42 "You've got it. A double, straight-up, coming up."
43 I raise the glass to my lips and take this one a little slower. "Now you are talking Mr. Smirnoff..."
44 ............. ............. ............. ............. ............. .............
45 L'homme: See the letter "A" up there? You know me, I could never brag.
46 ............. ............. ............. ............. ............. .............
47
48 131313131313131313131313131313131313131313131313131313131313131313131313
49 FCL[C DD_C\ _DTC^ FL@ZD EX\AD _IFMM FNGRP USFPD THBIA NXIAD EANPF XLDXM
50 @DVJX ZJ@C\ [\HB_ CRSCU EDEAA \EDP_ XDYAD IJXV@ V_AI@ DXJ@D KG]PC V_XEA
51 IDNTC @JE[@ \@D_C LUD_F IAC[Y HBC_O HBNRD
52 131313131313131313131313131313131313131313131313131313131313131313131313
53
54 676767676767676767676767676767676767676767676767676767676767676767
55 Back in the USA at last.
56 676767676767676767676767676767676767676767676767676767676767676767
57 \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\THE DESTROYER\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\25
58 As he advanced James jammed a hand into his boot and whipped out the derringer. The Commander hesitated in
59 surprise. He had one shot. He tried to aim but the barrel just wouldn't stay in one place. The Commander lept forward
60 just as James fired.
61 A large hole appeared right where the Commander's heart used to be. He fell on his face about four feet short and
62 didn't move. Immediately the fog lifted and James could think again. "Indiana Jones has nothing on me." he commented,
63 blowing smoke from the barrel.
64 Reholstering the gun, he tried to stand up. James had experienced pain before but rarely like this. His whole back
65 felt like it was on fire and his left arm still wouldn't respond. He finally got to his feet and turned and was amazed
66 at the size of the stain that had soaked into the bedsheets. The Commander must have done him some major damage. With
67 all the blood that had run out of him in the last twelve hours he must be nearly empty.
68 The force field around Tariya dissipated with the Commander's death but she was still out. Probably drugged. James
69 wondered if the bastard had done anything to her while she was unconcious and wished he could kill him again. He
70 managed to summon the sword, but his strength was fading fast. He only hoped he could open a warpgate.
71 The swordtip traced an oval in the air. A thin blue line remained, floating in midair. He dropped the sword and
72 picked up Tariya, which wasn't easy one-handed. He faced the oval for a second and watched it fade. If it went out
73 completely, he wouldn't have enough strength to try again. He would die here.
74 Then the air inside the oval collapsed with a bang and he was looking through it into a laboratory. On the other
75 side of the gate several white-suited technicians turned and stared back in astonishment. One called his name
76 questioningly.
77 James stumbled through the warpgate. Tariya's weight unbalanced him and he toppled. As he fell, he twisted so as
78 not to land on her. He landed on his wound instead. The pain was so intense that he couldn't even cry out. The last
79 thing he remembered was several anxious faces staring down at him as unconciousness forcibly claimed him.
80 He wondered if he would ever wake up.
81 \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\THE DESTROYER\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\
82
83 WHY DO PEOPLE INSIST ON POLLUTING THIS SYSTEM WITH THEIR PURPLE PROSE? I MEAN
84 REALLY, THE SAME OLD "DUNGEONS & DRAGONS" MOTIF OVER AND OVER AGAIN. WHAT I
85 FIND ESPECIALLY PATHETIC ARE THE ATTEMPTS TO CREATE NAMES SUCH AS TARIYA WHICH
86 ARE SUPPOSED TO EVOKE AN OTHERWORLDLY ATMOSPHERE. B O R I N G ! ! !
87 They're rioting in Africa, they're starving in Spain
88 1Theres hurricanes in Florida, and Texas needs rain
89 The whole world is festering with unhappy souls
90 The French hate the Germans, the Germans hate the Poles
91 Italians hate Jugoslave, South Africans hate the Dutch
92 And Scots don't like anybody very much...
93 But we should be tranquil and thankful and proud
94 Cause mans been endowed with a mushroom shaped cloud
95 And we can be certain that some lovely day
96 Someone will set the spark off and we will all be blown away...
97 They're rioting in Africa, theres strife in Iran
98 What nature doesn't do to us...
99 Will be done by our fellow Man..
100
101 Not much changed since the Kingston Trio recorded this in 1961 eh, wot???
102 A1&A2---------------------------------------------------------------------------
103 OFF
104
105 M&M&M&M&M&M&M&M&M&M&M&M&M&M&M&M&M&M&M&M&M&M&M&M&M&M&M&M&M&M&M&M&M&M&M&M&M&M&M&M
106
107
108 TRIPPING ON BOOKS by Clark
109
110 Page three...
111
112 State police had been deployed to all universities
113 following the signing of the Act, to quell any possible
114 violence. It was a natural decision to have them
115 keep close tabs on George too. George was assigned his
116 very own personal tail to shadow him everywhere
117 on campus. The tail's job description included
118 keeping George under close observation and taking
119 down the identities of all students and faculty who spent
120 an inordinate amount of time with him. Since George was
121 so popular on campus, the State police tail had a very
122 busy job. George quickly became aware of the tail's
123 presence, but figured there was nothing much he could do
124 about it. He felt confident he could lose the tail if it
125 really became necessary.
126
127 The marketing professor appeared at his podium. It was time to set the
128 book down and start taking notes. Today's lecture: Subliminal Suggestion for
129 Home-bound Housewives. For the next hour and a-half, Tim had to be
130 a busy student paying attention to the teacher during the lecture. Tim couldn't
131 get the book out of his mind though. There was something about the story,
132 the way Tim read it. George Gratis... Police State... 1997... Am-Euro Act...
133 Tim's head spun. The images before his eyes shimmered like the
134 reflections off the smooth surface of a mountain lake, suddenly disturbed
135 by a skipping rock. Professor Gratis... Personal Freedom... Shimmering...
136 Classroom... 1985... 1997... Political Science... Professor Gratis...
137 Lights... Blackness... Dark... Void... Desolation... Illumination...
138 Luminescent... Brilliant... Classroom... 1997...
139
140 "So as you see, the continued growth of a strong central state does
141 have it uses, but only if the cardinal conviction of this state is the
142 preservation of basic human rights. A state where its people are subjugated
143 is hardly an improvement over what existed 20 or more years ago in the
144 fragmented governments of this planet. If anything, a militaristic government
145 is a digression away from the ideal, not a move towards it."
146 Tim realized something strange had occurred. His mind whirled. This
147 was no longer "3-D Marketing Strategies..." What happened to Professor Dinero?
148 Who is this guy talking about ideal governments? The classroom! It's all
149 painted red. The desks! They look like something out of a futuristic
150 science fiction movie. Futuristic... wait... My clothes are all different.
151 This isn't my class! What has happened? Omigod!
152 The professor at the podium was now drawing comparisons on Karl Marx's
153 Communist Manifesto versus current advances into socialist states. Tim sat
154 still, stunned, unable to comprehend what had happened to him.
155 Even my books aren't the same. All except for my copy of "George's
156 War." This prof. sounds a lot like George Gratis. Funny. I must be dreaming,
157 fallen asleep during the lecture. Everything is so real though. No I couldn't
158 be asleep. It's not drugs either. At least I don't think I took any drugs. No,
159 I would remember if I took drugs. This whole thing...the room, the teacher,
160 my clothes, the other students they're all different. It's as if I were
161 somehow transported to some other place...
162 A question by one of the other students brought Tim's reasoning too
163 a grinding halt.
164 "Professor Gratis? Do you think the Am-Euro Act had significant roots
165 in the big redistribution-of-wealth movements of the late eighties?"
166 Professor Gratis? Late eighties?
167 Tim didn't hear the professor's reply to the question. He was to
168 busy having his own reality blown away.
169
170 <To be continued>
171
172 TRIPPING ON BOOKS
173
174 /////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
175
176 **************************************************************************
177 L'homme: Missed you at the meeting Thursday. Had your check waiting too.
178 Along with the latest archives. Oh well, maybe next time. Also, a question
179 from a David Bills at Bullis International Airport,
180 Washington DC 20041. How do you kill the Moss monster? Maybe you could
181 drop him a line.
182 ************************ CISTOP MIKEY *************************************
183
184 \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\
185 ||||| A skip and a jump; as always, gets you farther than on alone || PEN NAME |
186 :::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
187
"The forest is a forest," Exclaimed the Pastor.
188 "See the forest for the trees! A forest isn't a forest, it's a
189 lot of trees! Can't you see?"
190 "The forest is a forest! Why don't you see that?" Puzzled the
191 Pastor. Who then sat over the table, rubbing his eyes, drawing deep
192 from his ale, and mumbling softly.
193 "Why don't you see it my way?"
194 "I don't. Alright?"
195
As their lively little debate died down and everyone had a little
196 time to reflect on the matters debated, several people wanted their
197 say. Some started grumbling and mumbling on their own and most
198 simply downed another pint of ale.
199 "Excuse me," Said one neglected patron, who seemed more than a
200 little nervous, "It appears to me that you are tired of this debate
201 and tired of each other,"
202 The Pastor looked over to his fellow debater. If they were so
203 tired of each other, this was the first they had heard.
204 "Why drudge on through difficult debates? Why demand they must
205 agree with you? Why not leave well enough alone?" The nervous
206 and neglected patron seemed to calm with every word.
207 The Pastor saw in his friend the same look.
208 "Why assign such values to what you say?"
209 The look of bewilderment and silly regret.
210 "Ever known one person to be convinced in these things?"
211 The Pastor and friend smiled and chuckled together.
212 "Stop taking things so litterally,"
213
The Pastor giggled a bit and settled down for what he thought
214 would be a long pep talk. He was pouring his drink down his throat
215 when he heard the nervous one say-
216 "Besides, a forest is a grove!"
217 :::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
218
219 *%_#)@*%_)#*%)_*%)_!%!@)_+%(_@#)*%_)%*)_!#*%_)#!^*_#!^*_#)*^_!)*^_!#*^_)!*^!#_^*)#_^*
220 Mikey: Sorry about missing Thursday. I was getting a tour of the computer facilities
221 at Portland Community College. I will come by US Digital Monday afternoon if that is
222 all right. How many disks in the latest archives? I'll drop an AdventureWare help-
223 memo to David Bills ASAP. I even have a nifty letterhead designed and printed using
224 a graphics program. This way all adventure help will be on distinct stationary.
225 Thanks for letting me know about the query.
226 *_%*_)%@#*_%)@*_%)@#*%_)@#*%_@)#*%_ L'homme sans Parity *%_#)@*%_@#%*_*%)@#_*%*%@)#*%
227
228 KathyD are you KMD? I have BOGGS and lost your number. Please call.
229 -.-.-...-......-.-.-...-......
230 (((*)))(((*)))(((*))
231 L'homme : when you see Mikey could you do some checking on copy link
232 for me? Thank you....
233 (((*)))(((*)))(((*))
234 ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ?/
235 Hum, four eyes all in a row, perhaps time to see a movie, on a sunday night
236 ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ?/
237 ________________________________________________________________________________
238 After logging it to the terminal for cross-reference, Linda slipped
239 the last newspaper clipping into its folder, placed it in the box with
240 the rest, and sent the lot off to be microfilmed.
241 Seizing the quiet moment to herself, she leaned back in her chair,
242 hands behind her head, and reflected on what she had been able to
243 pick up since assuming the position of Ian's gopher.
244 Agents L'homme sans Parity and Fellows were about to go off on a
245 mission, where or what it was, she hadn't yet determined. Wassir and
246 frend had checked into the Bogart Arms, Delta V was busy blowing up
247 safety deposit boxes, and she still hadn't the faintest clue as to
248 the Net's true purpose or intent.
249 The intercom buzzed, meaning Ian needed her to fetch someone or
250 something again. She sighed, put on her best Pollyanna smile, and
251 was off.
252 _________________________________________Miss Nomer_______________________________
253 **********************************************************************
254 L'homme: Monday is fine. There are three disks in the archives currently,
255 with one disk worth of BW disks waiting to be transferred to CPM to MSDOS.
256 ************************** CISTOP MIKEY **********************************
257 Miss Nomer... Chuckle... I like the name!
258 ***********************
259
260 .-.-.-.-.EmuLurk.-.-.-.-.-.
261 |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||| As well, is well ||||||||||||||| PEN NAME ||
262 (((*))) lurk mode (((*))
263 TTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT
264
265 "The forest, yes, the forest." Fellows paled with every word.
266 "Remember, relax. You are telling me this so I can help you. Nothing
267 in the dream can hurt you know. But in retelling your dream it will most
268 likely help you." Dr Macrobius' voice was calm and reassuring. Some of the
269 color returned to Fellows' face.
270 "Sure Doctor. I know... OK. As I turned and went into the forest, I
271 noticed how very dark and deep it was. It was peculiar that a small trail
272 had been cut in the exact spot I entered. I chose my entry into the forest
273 at random, and I did not see the trail until I was right on top of it, but
274 there it was. Anyway, I moved through the forest over this trail. Sunlight
275 trickled down between the tall trees into patches of yellow here and there
276 on the forest bed. It was pretty dark, but there was enough ambient light to
277 make my sojourn safe, or so I thought." Fellows paused again, drew in a deep
278 breath, and continued. Dr Macrobius' hand flew across his pad as he took
279 notes.
280 "I started noticing the trees. I didn't know what kind they were, but
281 they looked familiar. It was just like the people in the clearing. I could
282 not identify them, but I thought I knew them. I know that is crazy sounding,
283 how could I know trees..."
284 "You let me interpret Fellows. Do not judge yourself like that."
285 "Sure, OK... Well anyway, I guess I got a little scared, because I
286 started walking faster. I had turned my head to look behind when I walked
287 into something. I got up and saw a tree, perfectly trimmed, growing in the
288 middle of the trail. It was just standing there, branches neatly cut, reaching
289 out across the trail. It loomed over me. I got up and ran past it best I
290 could. The trail started to narrow. The trees were encroaching on the edge
291 of the trail. And I did not feel any familiarity towards the trees like I had
292 before. I started running faster, further into the forest. The sunlight seemed
293 to be fading, and it was getting difficult to see very far ahead. I tripped
294 a couple times on roots that protruded out in the trail. I got up as fast as
295 I could and continued running. I had lost all sense of direction. My heart
296 was pounding again, but this time I could hear everything that was happening,
297 the sound of my feet on the trail, my breathing, everything. And then I
298 decided to stop. I stood there, bent over, catching my breath. I heard a
299 voice, somewhere behind me. I spun around, and in a particularly large
300 patch of light stood the woman from the clearing who had waved at me. She was
301 standing there smiling, her arms extended and her hands clasped in front of
302 her. I realized she had spoken my name, and I started moving towards her."
303 Again Fellows paused, and again some of color left his face.
304 "Go ahead Fellows. You mustn't stop now. It is important that you relay
305 this episode."
306 "I will Doctor, just a second please, while I catch my breath."
307
308 TTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT FELLOWS TTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT
309
310 %*%_)@#*%_)#*%)_!#*%)_*@)!#*%_)!@#$*%)*)!#$*^#$!)_^*#$)_^*)_#$!^*)_$#!*&)_#!*^_)#!*&_#!*&)%_&*_)!*&)_%$*&!_&*_{body}amp;*@_&
311 Mikey: Thanks, I'll bring $15-$20 for the disks. I hope the Christmas spirit is remembered and all my fellow
312 archivists remember to pay me back! The Copylink Ripple was asking about is for a SDB bus CP/M machine. We can
313 talk about it Monday, but you may want to address any questions to 'Ripple.' I also have some questions about
314 a NEC V20 to ask you Monday. I'll be there a little after 5:00pm.
315 Leonard: I have some TRSDOS archive disks for you. Yes, I have not forgotten that I owe you many many disks.
316 psu-cs!nelsons: I had some difficult sending mail to psuhon. Call when you can Ok?
317 *%)_@#*%@#)_%*)_*!@_)%*%^_)*#^_)@*^_@)# L'homme sans Parity %*#@_)%*@#_)%*@#)_*%_)*^_)@*_^&*_)@*^_@)#^*@)_^*_)$@#^*^
318
319 * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
320 MOST CLEVER NAME OF DISK AWARD GOES TO:
321
322 Miss Nomer!
323
324 Unfortunately your award only consists of enjoyment and
325 respect by the other members of the Backwater Inn. We
326 are working on a BRAND NEW CAR starting next year.
327 * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
328 \\\\\\\\\\\\\Will they leave this marker intact?\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\hope so\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\
329 CC4EDE4CCD4DCCC4ECCE64ECE4CDECCD4
330 96086403150951403892B06880263859B
331 CDCCE4CDC4CDD4CEECDDC364ED4ECCE4CDCE4ECCE4DCDC4ECC4DCE5
332 3645201950669012286352B0260681304652038130412503850553C
333
334 ______________________________JD 2446408.0502_________________________________JD 2446408.0502______
335 ______________________________JD 2446408.0529______________________________
336 Fact For the Day ... many of you have noticed the marker directly preceding this
337 line - the one with the "JD" and a bunch of numbers following. Contrary to
338 popular belief, it does not stand for the 'hit' record of a Juvenile Delinquent.
339 It is rather a dating system used commonly in astronomy, with a starting point
340 sufficiently far in the past (January 1, 4713 B.C.) to avoid fluctuations in the
341 calendar, such as the several days which were lost a few hundred years ago.
342 So, the "2446408" means that there have been 2,446,408 days since 1/1/4713 B.C.
343 The fractional part of the number is, of course, the fractional part of the day.
344 .2500 would be 1/4 of a day, or 6 hours. The person using the marker has
345 cleverly realized that the Julian Day starts at Noon, not Midnight, so when
346 you take the .0529 and convert it into 01:16:11, it is not a quarter past 1 in
347 the morning, but rather a quarter after 1 in the afternoon. Unfortunately,
348 what the user apparently failed to discover is that the Julian Date system is
349 an Absolute, not a Relative. In other words, 2446408.0529 here in Portland
350 references the exact same instant as 2446408.0529 does in Moscow, USSR.
351 Obviously then, it can't be dependent on local time, but is rather based on
352 Greenwich noon, which is currently at 4 am. So, what the _JD author is calling
353 2446408.0529 is actually 8 hours later, or 2446408.3862. Close in the cosmic
354 scale, but hopelessly off in a useable sense. From a practical standpoint,
355 however, it would be better to fudge even more and call .0000 local midnight,
356 so then you see .5000 you would know it's noon, rather that having to go through
357 all the mathematical contortions to discover what it Really is.
358 Oh, and lest you think I'm just talking through my hat (as they say),
359 my source is THE AMERICAN EPHEMERIS AND NAUTICAL ALMANAC 1980, issued by
360 th Nautical Almanac Office, United States Naval Obseratory via the
361 U.S. Government Printing Office.
362 @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ Gregory, 12/08/85 14:58:05 @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
363
364 _SHEESH,WHAT A WASTE OF LINES;LIKE HOO CARES?
365 ditto ditto ditto. You can alalways tell a college student by he way he or she
366 relates facts with such enthusiasm when after all they are only repeared from
367 a source that may or may not be correct
368 in relation to the universe. Those older and wise realize that a simple relating
369 of facts does not wisdom make, it is what you do with what you learn that is
370 important, not how well you can recite it, as any tape recorder can...
371
372 `PP`P`P`P`P`P`P`P`P`P`P`P`P`P`P`P`P Just Turkey Lurkin' `P`PPOPO`P`P`P`P`P`P`
373 $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
374 I quite disagree with the above comment that the explanation of the
375 JD xxxxx.whatever was a waste of space as (1) I for one was curious
376 as to what the numbers represented, and (2) it was not simply quotes
377 from a text, the information was presented in explanation of an event,
378 and his/her own opinions were expressed regarding the usage of the
379 numbers.
380 $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$[K][G]$$$$$$$$$$
381 P.S. Besides, as the explanation was not given from the owner of the
382 border, it might just be (gasp) humor|||
383 UNDERNEATH THE CHABMERS WERE RIGHT BETWEEN THEIR EYES...
384 SITTING ON A POWDER KEG, ENDING ALL THEIR LIES....
385
386 SENTRY TURNS TOO QUICKLY
387 EVERYTHING IS LOST
388 OVERPOWERED CAUGHT REDHANDED
389 WHAT WILL BE THE COST?
390
391 HUNG, DRAWN & QUARTERED
392 SPLIT FROM EAR TO EAR
393 HUNG, DRAWN & QUARTERED
394
395 ALL THE KINGS HORSES, AND ALL THE KINGS MEN
396 COULDN'T PUT ME BACK TOGETHER AGAIN
397
398 GROUND INTO SUBMISSION
399 THEY BURN ME TO THE BONE
400 QUESTION AFTER QUESTION
401 IN THAT MOCKING TONE.
402
403 TREASON! VERDICT OF THE JURY
404 BLACK CAP JUDGES HEAD
405 TAKE HIM TO THE WOODEN SCAFFOLD
406 HUNG TILL YOU ARE DEAD!
407
408 CHORUS
409
410 HUNG, DRAWN & QUARTERED
411 SPLIT FROM EAR TO EAR
412 HUNG, DRAWN & QUARTERED
413 ALL THE KINGS HORSES AND ALL THE KINGS MEN
414 COULDN'T PUT ME BACK TOGETHER AGAIN....
415
416 DRAGGED OUT BY THE KINGS GUARD
417 BRANDED BY THE CROWD
418 MORNINGS ENTERTAINMENT
419 SEE THEM LAUGH ALOUD
420
421 PLACED UPON A FUNERAL PYRE
422 DRESSED UP TO THE NINES
423 EVERY YEAR RAZED TO THE GROUND
424 A 100,000 TIMES.....
425
426 REPEAT CHORUS
427
428 From the a totally CRAZY RAVENLUNATIC!!!!!
429 RAVENLUNATICS ALL RULE THE WORLD
430 RAVEN WILL BECOME THE RULES OF THE WORLD!!!
431 BECOME ADDICTED TO RAVEN , OR F.O.A.D.!
432 ...........................................................................
433 Gregory... true, an oversight on my part... maybe I should switch to
434 Long Count?
435 ______________________Leonard_JD 2450059.9968__________________________
436 ooops! slight glitch in the calendar
437 ______________________Leonard_JD 2446407.9997__________________________
438 ps it started on 1/1/4713 BC on the *Julian* calendar, on the gregorian
439 calendar the date is different (by about a month!) If anyone is really
440 interested I'll do the calculations.
441 ___________________________________________________________________________
442 Oh the white folks hate the black folks,
443 And the black folks hate the white folks.
444 To hate all but the right folks
445 Is an old established rule.
446
447 But during National Brotherhood Week, National Brotherhood Week,
448 Lena Horne and Sheriff Clark are dancing cheek to cheek,
449 It's fun to eulogize
450 The people you despise,
451 As long as you don't let 'em in your school.
452
453 Oh, the poor folks hate the rich folks,
454 And the rich folks hate the poor folks.
455 All of my folks hate all of your folks,
456 It's American as apple pie.
457
458 But during National Brotherhood Week, National Brotherhood Week,
459 New Yorkers love the Puerto Ricans 'cause it's very chic,
460 Step up and shake the hand
461 Of someone you can't stand,
462 You can tolerate him if you try.
463
464 Oh, the Protestants hate the Catholics,
465 And the Catholics hate the Protestants,
466 And the Hindus hate the Moslems,
467 And ev'rybody hates the Jews.
468
469 It's National Ev'ryone-smile-at-one-another-hood Week,
470 Be nice to people who
471 Are inferior to you.
472 It's only for a week, so have no fear,
473 Be grateful that it doesn't last all year.
474 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
475 It's been so long that I forgot to put the title at the top.
476 National Brotherhood Week (Words & music by Tom Lehrer)
477 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~BARD~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
478
479 No, no, no, please, no, don't do the calculations.
480 At least not here. Ephemerides are available at the
481 library, and anyone can afford a calculator. Like I said, hoo cares.
482 Has Mikey been busy with his blue pencil? What has
483 happened to the missing lines?
484 BACKWATCHER%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
485 ??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
486
487 UP AND DOWN AND ALL AROUND
488
489
490 ?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
491 """"""""""""""""""
492 Upload test:
493
494 This is a test, this is only a test...
495
496 Yippe! It worked *first* try!
497 """"""""""""""""""SOLI
498 <><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>
499 Bard: I haven't heard thoes for quite a while! I guess I'll have to
500 break out my old Lehrer albums now.
501 L'homme: I'll call tonight
502 <><><><>
503 "Angels we have heard on high,
504 tell us to go out and buy..." Tom Lehrer
505 <><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>...psu-cs!nelsons<><>
506 ;18033ca90f8d18d4a9008d05d4a9f08d06d4a9218d04d4a9608d000b5c
507 ;180354d48d01d478a9178501ad0ddc2910f008a90f8d18d44c5d030a07
508 ;08036ca9008d18d44c5d030345
509 ;0000030003
510
511 *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
512
513 The door of the Bogart Arms elevator slid shut, and the contraption
514 moved upward accompanied by the groaning of ancient machinery. Wassir
515 turned to the gnomish bell boy and said, "Excuse me, is there a represent-
516 ative of the Crudleco corporation in this hotel?"
517 "Never heard of 'em," the bell boy rasped.
518 Wassir sighed and reached into his pocket. He withdrew several Swiss
519 francs and stuffed them into the gnome's jacket. "Hmmmm...." Wassir said,
520 "perhaps these will help your hearing problem."
521 "Oh yes sir, I'm sure they will." The gnome said as he glanced at the
522 bills. "Crudleco has a hospitality suite on the top floor. They have some
523 wild parties up there, let me tell you. Strange people.... strange outfits
524 .... they even took a bunch of ducks up there one time. You shoulda seen
525 the place afterwards, feathers all over. Terrible." The gnome shook his
526 head.
527 "Is there anyone up there now?" Maria asked.
528 "Haven't seen no one, but they got a private elevator so's the guests
529 don't have to go through the hotel lobby."
530 "Does this elevator go up to the hospitality suite?" Wassir said.
531 "Yup, sure does... but it has to be called from the suite itself. If
532 you'll notice, the buttons only go to twelve." The gnome motioned to the
533 control panel. "The Crudleco suite is on the fourteenth floor." The
534 elevator wheezed to a stop. "You'll have to walk up a floor to your suite
535 on thirteen. They added a couple of floors in '06 and never fixed the
536 elevator." The gnome walked Wassir and Maria up a narrow stairway and to
537 their suite.
538 The room was your average dumpy European hotel suite, gauchely done
539 in red and black velveteen. On a table in the center of the living room
540 was an enormous bouquet of lavender carnations. Maria tipped the bell boy,
541 while Wassir looked at the card attached to the flowers. It read:
542
543 My dearest Mohammed,
544 So nice of you to drop in. It's been boring since Professor
545 Stuffit left, and I've heard so much about you. I do hope you
546 live up to your reputation.
547 With all my love,
548 China Blue
549
550 "Ahem," Maria said with a dangerous sparkle in her eye. "And just who
551 is China Blue?"
552 "Darned if I know," Wassir said. "But I'm sure we'll find out."
553 "Just remember I don't get even, I get mad."
554
555 *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* Valinor *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
556
557 HAh, I haven't heard any good 12-13-14 floor building jokes since that
558 escapade in the Oklahoma City Hilton all those years ago. Keep up the
559 good work Valinor.
560 L.s.P.
561 The cooks assistant was slouched against the brick wall of the back of the Bogart Arms, smoking
562 a cigarette. He had the look of boredom and too many months of being talked down to by "chefs".
563 He didn't even look up as he heard someone approach untill a hand reached forth and grabbed the
564 collar of the white linen jacket that was the standard dress for employees of his level.
565 The expression on the face of the bull of a man looking down at him quickly dispensed any feelings
566 of being bored. The man spoke. " Well, now, my man, you look like you need a break". "I was, uh just
567 uh..." The man interrupted him. " I always wanted to be a cook, see, so I'll tell you what- I'll
568 rent your uniform for a while, and you trot off down the street and have yourself a drink, OK?"
569 The folded S
570 wiss franks in the mans hand were what the cook saw first, then he noticed the Walther P-38 in his
571 other hand. "Uh, yeah, I was gettin' thirsty, now that you mention it..." As he was leaving, he
572 heard the man say, "If you come back in less than an hour, you'll never have to worry about food
573 again, DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?" A yessirr floated back, but Delta Five was already inside the kitchen.
574 Working quickly, he approached a room service attendant in a gaudy red velvet jacket, and pulled
575 him off to the side, by the door of the walk-in. "I'll deliver this personally, son, and you find
576 the sous chef and tell him that the Veal cordonBleu for table 12 was refused."
577 This would distract him long enough...
578 Moving the room service cart over to the chef's station, he picked up the phone, and asked the
579 operator for the extension he wanted. The elevator was waiting when he arrived in front of it's
580 ornate brass doors, with the Cupids in bronze depicting the floor numbers. The operator had been
581 alerted. Another delivery to that bunch of crazies ...He reflected on what a very friendly maid
582 had told him-"and feathers all over..."
583 The man with the room service cart had an expression that was downright intimidating, and when
584 he told the operator that the car was to go to the "private party", the operator was acquiescent.
585 "Yes sir..." The doors opened just as a tall man with a stunningly beautiful companion was about
586 to rap on the door. "Sir, a delivery, sir..."
587 Delta V pushed the cart towards the door, and the
588 tall man looked at him suspiciously. Feigning intimidation, Delta said "It's the desserts, sir-petit
589 fours, and Nessleroot Tort, and Ambrosia, sir..."
590 The tall man made one of the few mistakes of his life, and raised the white linen cloth to look.
591 Delta hit him squarely in the jaw, and the tall Albanian veritably flew back, and slammed into
592 the door. The man in the cooks uniform moved in quickly, but not fast enough. A long leg snaked
593 out, and caught his ankle, smashing forward, and twisting it painfully. His hand went inside his
594 white tunic, and is
595 as if by magic, his hand felt the familliar ribbed handle of the Walther. Squeeze the trigger once
596 and a round is loaded into the chamber. The action is cocked, and ready to fire. As he fell to the
597 plush carpeted floor, he brought the muzzle up so that it was pointed at the tall man, ...,and,..
598 the barrel of an equally intimidating handgun.
599 The woman just stood there, for a second, confused. The two men for the first time made eye contact.
600 Time was stretched to it's outermost limits. Years and years of training was suddenly forgotten
601 in the face of ones equal. Everything seemed to be in slow motion, and eager fingers squeezed triggers
602
603 almost as one. Both guns fired within a split second of each other, and both hands were raised an
604 instant before the deafening explosions. Two bullets smashed into walls, inches from human heads.
605 Then, silence. Hesitation... The man on the floor spoke. "Well...Delta V, or I'm a poor goatherder.
606 Delta Five said calmly,"Well, thought I might find you here, Wassir. Sorry about your boat, but
607 you know how it is....
608 D DDD
609 DDVDD
610
611 ............. ............. ............. ............. ............. .............
612 "Blue moo-oon of Kentucky keep on a shinin'; shine on the one that's gone and left me blue..."
613 "C'mon pal, give it a rest. I think it's about time you knocked off for the eveing. You're cut off."
614 "Oh Stuart, don't be a wet blanket. Besides, we were just getting started," I said as I raised my glass.
615 "We? What do you mean we? Your so-called buddy, Mr. Smirnoff, is gone!" Stuart held up an inverted
616 bottle that was seriously lacking of anything liquid and made certain I was aware of that fact. "No more
617 liquor, absolutely no other guests to be seen, and it's time I locked this place up." Stuart didn't seem all
618 too impressed with my company and just slid the tab in front of me while locking up the cabinets behind the
619 counter and generally straightening up things for the person that would get stuck working the first shift the
620 next morning.
621 "You're just doing this because you don't approve of my musical talent. Would you care to hear an anthem
622 perhaps? I'm quite up-to-date on several of the more popular European anthems. Would you care for..."
623 "You have got to be the most verbose customer while inibriated I've heard! I'm calling you a taxi."
624 "You musn't call me a taxi," I said while looking for my bilfold. "On the contrary, my name is Lewis."
625 Stuart only issues a simple groan while dialing the number to the taxi service. He hesitates for a moment when
626 he gazes upon the fountain of wealth I seem to be drawing my monetary assets from at the moment.
627 "Huh? Oh hello, Northeast Taxi? Yea, I've got a fellow out here that's had one too many to drink... And
628 you don't need to worry about the fare, I think this guy must have struck it luck at Bowling-for-Bucks..."
629 ............. ............. ............. ............. ............. .............
TOTAL NUMBER OF LINES = 629