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1 If you are in need of help, you need but ask...
2 ********************* REMOVED: 26 JUL 84 *******************
3 Welcome to BWMS (BackWater Message System) Mike Day System operator
4 ************************************************************
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18 ************************************************************
19
20 Pam:
21 Your package has arrived. The total bill is $1783.96. Please
22 hurry!!! I'm running out of raw meat and kitty litter.
23 Dr. Frankenstupe
24 P.S. Bring cash.
25 +_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_
26
27 HELP
28 SEND
29 :*************************************************************:
30
31 NEWS BREAK
32
33 LeRoy McKane, noted international financier, industrialist, and
34 religious leader, died today of a colon infection caused by an
35 exploding rectal thermometer. FBI explosives experts report the
36 thermometer contained a new form of radiated nitroglycerin that
37 explodes upon hitting temperatures above 89.1 degrees. Though
38 authorities are uncertain as to the identity of the murderers
39 they suspect it's the work of Albanian terrorists. Details at
40 eleven.
41 :*************************************************************:
42 GROSS!!! JUST GROSS!!
43 ----------------------------------------
44 I must agree with the above, a little excessive in the gross department.
45 I wonder if that is a real GDM message or something fake?
46 What ever happened to dreamtoucher? and by default, guru of bliss?
47 --------shtoner-------------------------
48 .:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.
49 Bah, INFELDELS! Not even the agents of NET could stop us.
50 We have god on our side.
51 J.C. and the Boys
52 .:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.
53 INFELDELS? What in the world is an INFELDELS? Do you mean Infidel? As in
54 fidelis (latin for faithful)?
55
EXTRACT - TWIT MEDICAL REFERENCE Vol 23
56 INFELDELS- adj, ( in'feld'dells ) - having the same visual impairment
57 as the actor ( Marty Feldman ). Often associated young
58 children sitting to close to televisions.
59 PROGNOSIS - Total failure of coordination, both physically and
60 mentally.
61 DURATION - Perpetual,
62 CURE - None
63 TREATMENT- Isolate prior to Lobotmy, After which patient may be
64 integrated into asylum.
65 FOLLOW-UP- Water at regular intervals. Fertilize semi-annually
66 Re pot as needed. Expose to sunlight 4-6 hours daily.
67 Turn & Prune as needed.
68 << Dr. Bangor >>
69
70
71 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
72 Dearest Dr. Bangor,
73
74 With deepest regrets the members of the AMA must inform
75 you that you have been dropped from the roles of this organization
76 for reasons that should be obvious. Please refrain from dispensing
77 medical advice or products in the future. Your cooperation is
78 greatly appreciated.
79
80 Fred Scuttle, MD, SCA, PPD
81 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
82
83 ^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*
84 J.C. and the Boys,
85
86 It has come to our attention that you have broken several
87 of the rules, which makes you ineligable for membership. Hence,
88 your membership in the Human Race has been revoked. You will be
89 expected to turn in your Human Race badge, Human Race car, and
90 your keys to the executive wash room. We are sorry to have to
91 take such drastic measures, but it has been decided that you are
92 anti-productive to the species, and must therefore be eliminated.
93 Your have until Wednesday at noon to responde.
94
95 Thank You,
96 Gary Harbor
97 Human Race Relations
98 ^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*
99 =======================================
100 PLEASE GIVE ROME A TRY. 636-xxxx. THIS
101 IS A MODIFIED NETWORKS II SYSTEM.
102 CEASER HAS SPOKEN
103 =======================================
104 :***********************************************************:
105 New York (UPI) The stock market plummeted fifteen points today
106 as unconfirmed rumors of the death of financial wizard LeRoy
107 McKane spread throughout the world. Panic stricken investors
108 from all over the world dumped McKane Industries stock and
109 began hoarding rare metals and commodities. The price of gold,
110 silver, and autographed Micheal Jackson albums tripled in the
111 first hour of trading.
112
113 Special sessions of the United Nations and World Economic
114 Council will meet to discuss the impending backrupcy of at
115 least fourteen third world countries that are heavily invested
116 in McKane Industries. Political ecomomists characterize the
117 crash as the worst financial catastrophe the world has ever
118 seen.
119
120 Though panic reigns on the streets of Wall street the death of
121 Mr. McKane remains unconfirmed. No body has, as yet, been
122 produced and McKane Industry spokespersons have been
123 unavailable for comment.
124
125 President Reagan, in a press conference today is quoted as
126 saying "LeRoy who?". Democrats immediately charged this was
127 further evidence that the president is out of touch with the
128 events that shape the world.
129 :*************************************************************:
130
131 d: Call your private service...messages pending. Nameless, today only.
132 ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ 072384 1513 ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
133 BIZERTE, TUNISIA (AP) Oil magnate, Mohammed Wassir, stated today that
134 charges of Albanian complicity in the death of Leroy McKane were absurd.
135 "There's no way any self-respecting Albanian would have anything to do
136 with an exploding rectal thermometer. The weapon of choice is the dreaded
137 Albanian toilet plunger," said Wassir when contacted at his Tunisian
138 villa. Mr. Wassir added that the rumor that he is manipulating the
139 stock of McKane Industries is also false. He stated, "It's just another
140 dasturdly rumor by the running capitalist organization of the NET with
141 their accompliace, the lamb Fluffy."
142 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------
143
144 ::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
145 "Get off my back you imbecile!!shouted Fin. Laseter looked around and pinche
146 himself, then glanced below at Fin. "Well, my dear Fin, once again your
147 hairbrained ideas of wealth and unlimited global buying power have run into
148 big problems!! sneered Laseter," And what's more; you almost caused me to
149 suffer a demise whichi I find rather unfitting to my tastes!"
150 "Had I known that you intended to land on top of me I'd have left you there
151 scoundrel!!" said Fin by way of greeting. He examined himself for damage
152 and finding none, proceeded to query about the valuable shippment he had
153 been awaiting. Laseter gave him the short and narrow of it and watched for
154 Fins' reaction. There was none.Finally, the waiting became unbearable,and
155 he asked the question. "Well, aren't you going to do something about this?
156 Or do you intend on just sitting here and letting a cool half a billion
157 Universal credits slip through your greedy little hands?"He began tapping
158 his foot, knowing this to be one of Fins' biggest peeves, and waited.
159 Sighing, Fin looked up and smiled. "Laseter, my boy! Had you ever considered
160 enlisting the help of mercenaries? LIBYAN mercenaries?" A rather nasty grin
161 had formed on Fins' mouth. He reached for the phone and dialed the operator.
162 "Yes, he said, could you please dials MILKYway. Thankyou!.
163 ::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
164 ????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
165 Hi guys, I'm back!!! (Sort of...) Does this sound all too familiar?????? It should if you get on PMS......
166
167 ????????????? The Doctor ???????????????? Lt. Commander Green of the Starfleet ???????????? July 23, 1984 ??????????????
168 @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
169 Scarlet: Oh. Thanks for the enlightenment. I could only hope for it to be
170 not so.
171 Michlar: My vote is for non-intelectual. If I have to chose between thinking
172 and laying around, well, you can see where my convictions lie. Hmmm, maybe
173 we should also have a vote for terminally lazy.
174 Fast Fred BSAL
175 @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
176 pppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppp
177 The piper watched the mass bands breaking up, then slowly made his
178 way off the field. It had been a wonderful day, even in the mundane
179 world. Entering his home, he began the ritual that would allow him to
180 return to the inn. Suddenly, a small noise followed by a wisp of smoke
181 came out of the innards of the small, much modified Apple. A whispered
182 curse was the only sound for a long, long time.
183 -- I guess that my appearances will be infrequent for a while. I'll
184 be looking at a scope screen rather than the monitor until I get it fixed!
185 ppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppp
186
187 +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
188 Piper: A scope screen? Ugh.
189 All: Any more votes on the intellectual issue? Or do you all agree to the non-intellectual trend? Hmmmmmmmm?
190 NET one:Still awaiting transmission. Despite my saying that I would leave the level two code alone, I think I may
191 have 60-75% of one message broken. My problem lies in that I need to guess a string that occurs in the plaintext that
192 is equal in length to the key. Once I can do that.... then I'll figure out what the key means.
193 NET one (again): Tell all operatives to put their names somewhere else than at the end of a message. Makes things a
194 lot easier for me.
195 Written this day of July 23, 1984, at 9:21 pm, Milchar.
196 +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
197 ::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
198
199 Hmmmm.....a border pirate.....
200 Milch,
201 Are you comparing all the texts combined ?
202
203 MiG,
204 All is still not well.......I may be looking for time.
205 ::::::::::::Alex::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
206
207 jjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjj
208 To: Net Central
209 From: Net Irregular Agent plnka
210 Subject: Death of McKane
211 Coroner refused interveiw. Anonymous McKane next of kin requested a
212 closed casket funeral. Rumors in the underground. Will transmit as soon
213 as more info is available.
214 End Transmission.
215 The Ninja
216 jjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjj
217 ****************************************************************************
218 HEY EVERYBODY! THERE IS A CRAZY NEW MESSAGE SYSTEM IN BEAVERTON
219 CALLED THE GRAB BAG AND IT IS THE CRAZIEST EVER! WHY DONT YOU TRY IT
220 BETWEEN 10:00 P.M. AND 2:00 A.M. ON ANY WEEKNIGHT... THE NUMBER IS 626-xxxx
221 ****************************************************************************
222
223 &*%)$)@&)!&$^_*$^_*^_&^_*$#^_*#$^+!#^_#_^*#_^*#_*^$_!#*^+_*^+*^_#!*^_*^_@#_^
224 The ride in the Bolo was a bumpy one, but there was no doubt in my mind
225 that I was grateful to be away from the chamber of horrors that reminded me
226 of a bad Fu-Man-Chu movie.
227 I had never been in a Bolo before and I am sure my interest in the
228 interior was shared by both Petrov and Joshua, who were strangly silent
229 throughout the whole rescue. I tapped on Joshua's shoulder, but the only
230 response I could get from him was a blank expression and a shrug. Petrov
231 wasn't much more responsive.
232 The sound of rushing air derailed my train of thought, as the rear
233 door of the Bolo opened, and the canned voice of what must have been the
234 driver echoed through the innards of the Bolo, as well as my inner ear.
235 "This is it gentlemen. I think you will find the accommodations...
236 accommodating. Please exit through the rear door, and watch your step.
237 Thanks for riding Grey Bolo!"
238 We tumbled out the rear of the Bolo, only to find ourselves in front
239 of the Plaza Hilton. Dazed onlookers stood about, wondering where in the
240 world this crazy taxi came from.
241 As soon as we were clear, the rear door closed, and the Bolo rumbled
242 on down the street, turning heads as it went.
243 "Leave it to Ian to think of something so...so...ordinary!", I said to
244 no one in particular.
245 I was about to begin shaking some response out of Joshua, when I
246 caught sight of the newspaper stand. I could not believe the headline,
247 and I quickly directed the attention of the others to the stand.
248 We each bought our own copy so to avoid a fight over who got to read
249 the lead story. We could not believe what we read, but here it was, in
250 black and white.
251 RELIGIOUS LEADER AND FINANCIER LEROY MCKANE DIES IN BIZZARE ACCIDENT
252 The story, in typical big city prose, relayed the happenings of the last
253 24 hours. In the five or so minutes it took each of us to read the front
254 page story, and the related stories on A2, A3, and B1-5, our combined
255 expressions went from happiness, to anger, to disgust, and ending in
256 confusion.
257 "Do you really think the Wassir character had anything to do with
258 it?", I asked.
259 "No. Definitly not. It's not his style", piped in Petrov. This was the
260 first time he had spoken since we were in the Dragon Room.
261 Joshua chimed in next. "Could it be Ian? You don't think..."
262 I cut him off before he could finish the sentence. "No way! Ian is
263 above Rectal bombs. Don't make him the butt of this cruel act!"
264 The others groaned, but I couldn't help it. If McKane was really
265 dead, then the complete collapse of his empire would certainly follow, and
266 our job would be complete.
267 "Let's do lunch.", I said in my best East coast yuppie imitation.
268 "Sounds go to me", replied Joshua, and Petrov nodded his agreement.
269 We entered the Hilton cafe, and took a booth seat near the rear of
270 the place. Our discussion quickly shifted to the recent events, and what
271 our next move should be.
272 &)*%)#*%)#*@% L'homme sans parity - Le ennemi est mort - Nous avons gagne' &
273 =======================================================================
274 ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
275 McKane's death and the ensuing stock market melee had little
276 effect on Oklahoma city. Its residents had entered a phase of
277 self-sufficient communal economy and in the confusion following
278 the funeral had quietly appropriated from McKane's people an
279 entire army of religious cultists who did most of the work of
280 the city in return for a ration of brown rice. This letter
281 was found by Honored Matri as she evacuated the Organization's
282 premises:
283 "Wassir,Wassir,Wassir---why did you send me for make business
284 with this prune-heart McKane. Only he cares to make money and
285 make fear and put big money numbers on the paper and control
286 the machines who go bip-bip-bip. He is not like out Albanian
287 outlaws who love freedom: the simple happiness to sitting in
288 the sun, eat the olives, watch girls, drive the Trans-Am, and
289 buy Italian silk shirts so beautiful they make the women cry
290 for you--such pleasure he does not know. They say you killed
291 him, my brother, but how can they tell? He has always looked
292 like a corpse. I cannot make business with a man who has no
293 music in his soul, so I took that box of bombs and big-deal spy
294 machines and hid them so your empty-soul friends won't get them
295 and take our passion from us. But we are still brothers, don't
296 we? We will talk and drink the whikey soda. I will be in
297 disguise. Don't trust me if I am dressed up as myself because
298 that means I am somebodies else. --Your Fine Good Brother
299 Rocky
300
301 "What the hell," said Hon. M. and mailed it to Albania.
302 ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
303 #########==============******::::::*****:::::******------"""""
304 :::::::::::::::::::::::::O O:::::::::::::::::::::O O:::::::::::::::::::::::
305 Alex: YOU are calling someone else a border pirate for using the ::::
306 border? Look up a couple of lines, then look at yours, then reconsider.
307 (since all the non-verbal communications is missing here, I will have
308 to point out that the previous comment is made tongue-in-cheek. I'm sure
309 I am not the first user of the border either.)
310 By the way, how are my glasses? Still safe, I hope? If we don't have another
311 chance to nuke the RED menace soon, I'll have to make a special trip out there
312 to pick them up. (They have sentimental value; I'd hate to lose them.).
313 {wish Beaverton wasn't so far from Milwaukie and/or my car got better than 15 mpg.}
314 Milchar: re intellectuallism - after Russia sent up Sputnik in '59
315 (or thereabouts) the US began a great drive towards the sciences as a means to
316 catch up. This lasted until we landed on the moon, but when that goal was
317 reached, enthusiasm dwindled, and attention was focused on earthly matters.
318 Also, the Democrats gained power, and they are the great equalizers.
319 They prefer to have everyone at the same level, which means that while the
320 lower classes are raised, the higher have to be lowered. Since being an
321 'Intellectual' means being above average, obviously it is something to be
322 avoided. Your chemical company wouldn't want to be accused of elitism, so
323 it points out that 'Joe Average' can join in. While this may be a good thing
324 for Joe Average, and for the theory that all (men) are created equal, it
325 does serious damage to our research facilities, colleges, etc. In fact, I
326 extend this to affirmative action. I feel that it is counter-productive to
327 accept less qualified people to positions merely to achieve a racial-sexual
328 balance. The highest qualifying person should get the job, regardless of
329 secondary characteristics such as race or sex. As time goes on, a correct
330 mix will occur (assuming the equality is practiced throughout society, so the
331 minorities get the chance to acquire the necessary educations etc. to qualify
332 them). I feel nervous about having a female in the police department JUST
333 to achieve the proper sexual balance. If she happens to be the most qualified,
334 great. If a better qualified male is passed over in order to let her in,
335 I protest. This may be satisfying Her equal rights, but what about the rights
336 of the people she is supposed to protect? If physical ability standards are
337 lowered to allow her to qualify, this means her ability to perform the functions
338 of the position are lessened. Since the ability to subdue a resisting suspect
339 are part of the job, where does it leave us, the people she is supposed to
340 be protecting?
341 I realize I got somewhat off the subject of intellectualism, but
342 this is all part of the same problem - the equalization of society, whether
343 it be mental ability or physical. To back up to your original question, the
344 subnormal and supernormal are grouped together because they are both
345 non-normal. They may be different from each other, but they are more different
346 from the normal, so first they are isolated, then (hopefully) treated according
347 to the actual situation.
348 OK folks, I've opened myself up to attack, so now you bleeding-heart
349 liberals can go ahead and hit me.
350 :::::::::::::::::::O O::::::::::::voyeur::::::::::::::O O:::::::::::::::::
351 ---------------------------------------------------------
352 After seeing yet another (ahem) bbs come into existance,
353 my first thought was "Oh God, not another one!" My next
354 thought was "What has BW wrought?" and my final thought
355 was "Well, at least it gives the juvies someplace to go!"
356 REX
357 ---------------------------------------------------------
358
359 ****************************************************************************
360 After watching yet again the hue and cry over the U.S. not being in proper
361 condition to beat the pulp out of the ruskies should the two countries
362 decide to fight it out, I come to the conclusion that the main problem with
363 the way things are in the world is because we let the politicians run
364 things. The cure is of course to dump the politicians. The only problem is
365 who would we get to run things then? The politicians are the only ones dumb
366 enough to even consider trying to run things.
367 **************************** CISTOP MIKEY **********************************
368 so where did I get this time? I never get a break and get at the
369 start. Boy this system is slow. I can't even type my own speed without
370 having to wait for it to catch up. Boy I am offended.
372 off
373 EQUAL RIGHTS? DEFINETLY. HOWEVER: IF YOU WERE TRAPPED IN A
374 DARK ALLEY BY SEVERAL "BIKERS" WHO INTENDED TO DO SEVERE DAMAGE
375
376 TO YOUR BODY, AND A COP CAME ALONG TO 'PROTECT' YOU, WHICH
377 WOULD YOU WANT? A: A 265# COP THAT DOESN'T LIKE BIKERS
378 OR A 95# FEMALE WHO IS A "POLICE OFFICER" ?
379 THERE ARE NOW FEMALE ATR PILOTS.(ATR IS AIR TRANSPORT RATED), MEANING THE FOUR
380 STRIPERS WHO ARE THE 'PILOTS IN COMAND'. OK.
381 BUT IF A COMMERCIAL AIRLINER LOSES THE HYDRAULIC PRESSURE
382 THAT WORKS THE AIRFOILS (FLAPS,
383 RUDDER, ETC) OR IF THE AUTO-PILOT
384 MALFUNCTIONS, AND WILL NOT DISENGAGE, THEN A GREAT DEAL
385 OF PHYSICAL STRENGTH IS NEEDED TO
386 CONTROL THE AIRCRAFT. THAT 'MUSCLE' COULD BE THE DIFFERENCE
387 BETWEEN LIFE OR DEATH FOR PASSENGERS AND CREW. NEED I SAY MORE?
388 ////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
389
390 There is an hypothesis which states that space is curved. If ever there was
391 proof, it would be found in L'homme, Joshua and myself who, though travelling in
392 a seemingly straight path, again found ourselves at the Oklahoma City Hilton.
393 Having had some particularly tiresome hours, I suggested that we check in.
394 L'homme looked at me. "Yes, that's a good idea." He thought for a moment.
395 "You've been rather quiet lately."
396 "Just shaken up a bit." I lied. There was something nagging at the back of
397 my brain--something that would show its face and then cower in the shadowy
398 corner--something I wanted to see but which was too hideous to acknowledge. I could
399 not get my mind off that newspaper article. MCKANE DEAD!?
400 Time passed. L'homme and Joshua slept soundly while I tossed and turned. I rose
401 from my bed, driven by a force greater than any resistance I could muster. I
402 approached the two sleeping men. "Joshua!" I said aloud. Both men awoke,
403 startled. Indescribable were the looks on their faces as they saw me draw a gas
404 capsule and shatter it on the floor. A morbid peace returned to their faces. I
405 bound them securely and activated a time bomb that I found in Joshua's coat.
406 "sixty minutes" I said aloud and placed it at their feet.
407 Something kept me hovering over them. "Why didn't I shoot them as they slept?
408 Why don't I do that now?" Wiping the sweat from my brow I found my stare fixed
409 on the men. The two honorable, talented, intelligent men who must die. Always
410 the brave.
411 It was difficult to speak but with some effort I found my voice. The words
412 stumbled from my mouth and collapsed on the floor--reaching deaf ears. "I
413 wanted to join you." And I meant it. "I...I wanted to stop McKane, just like
414 you..." My voice broke momentarily. "I wanted to join you...but now..."
415 Now it was different. It was in my grasp. The McKane organization was
416 crumbling and needed a steady hand at the helm. Mine was that hand. POWER!!
417 The force which drove me had a name after all. I was blinded by it. Hitler,
418 Napoleon, Petrov! Only there would be no Waterloo's for me! No one was in as
419 good a position as me...No one!
420 I could feel my hand reaching out to grasp what was mine. I was in a position
421 of power. I knew the organization better than any. I had the talent and the
422 intelligence. Forged documents and pulled strings--It would be so easy! No one
423 could stop me--it would be ALL MINE!!
424 Petrov
425 \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\
426 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
427 Regarding the issue of women in police work. I guess I'm a little more
428 qualified than most to speak on the issue, since in real life I'm a cop.
429 Some of the best police officers I know are women. Sex should not be
430 an issue. The days when the cop had to be the biggest hard-ass on the
431 street are long gone, thank God. Police have for a long time tried to
432 turn law enforcement into a profession as opposed to just a job. This
433 means things like intensified training, college degrees, etc.
434 We should as a society put the notion that police work is a
435 sanctified white-male enclave in the trash barrel where it belongs.
436 Women can do the job just as well as men, and sometimes better. I agree
437 that the best qualified applicant should get the job with two qualifications
438 First, women should not be excluded due to arbitrary physical standards.
439 The days of kicking ass and taking names are coming to a close. Second,
440 I believe that if two applicants are equal, then weight should be given
441 to those in our society that have been traditionally discriminated
442 against, i.e. women and blacks.
443 I, by the way, am a white male. Although I was fairly radical during
444 the late Sixties, I do not now consider myself a bleeding heart liberal.
445 Now, I'll climb down from my soapbox and return to my usual inanity.
446 Mohammed Wassir
447 <The Long-winded Albanian>
448 P.S. Rocky: Hang in there, your job is almost finished. We'll have you
449 out of that hell hole shortly. Also, could you introduce me to Ms. Minsky?
450 She sounds interesting. M.W.
451 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
452
453 BRAVO......BRAVO....... Just think, there is an inteligent Police person
454 here on this board. Will wonders never cease. All Hats off to him and his
455 enlightened stand for equality. Wish the whole department was like minded
456 . Unfortunately we still have the likes of Ron Stills at the helm and that
457 doesn't fare well for any open mindedness.
458
459 :*************************************************************:
460 Good evening. Welcome to "World Watch". This is Peter
461 O'Hannahan bringing you the Belfast edition of the eleven
462 O'clock news.
463
464 On the international scene...News of the death of LeRoy
465 McKane, industrialist, spiritual leader, and friend to warm
466 fuzzy animals, continues to shake the world. Reporting from
467 the McKane industry prayer tower in Brazil Shawn O'Malley
468 brings us this report.
469
470 (Camera One pans right, long shot of crowd of screaming, grief
471 stricken mourners)
472
473 "Hello Peter. Peter can you hear me? Can you hear me Peter?"
474 Microphone crackles, camera jostles, womans voice in background
475 hysterically screaming "Oh my God, my God, the prophesy of
476 LYSIAS has come true. LeRoy is dead."
477
478 Two security gaurds restrain her in effort to keep her from
479 harming herself. The crowd surges and the camera lurches,
480 eventually finding Shawm surrounded by little children
481 clutching their warm fuzzy animals.
482
483 "Peter, oh my God, Peter, I...I can't describe the horror of
484 what's going on here. I've never seen anything like it.
485 It's..." Tears well up in his eyes, his voice begins to
486 crack. "Thousands of grief stricken people, thousands Peter,
487 it's too terrible to describe."
488
489 Camera pans crowd as Shawn can be heard whimpering in
490 background. Crowd surges, camera drops to ground, sounds of
491 hysteria, rioting, pandemonium. Transmission abruptly stops.
492
493 "This is Peter O'Hannahan again in our Belfast studio. We
494 seem to be having technical difficulties with our Brazilian
495 report. We'll try to bring you the rest of the story later in
496 the program."
497
498 "On the economic scene...News of the death of LeRoy McKane
499 continues to cause stock prices to plummet. Stock brokers
500 from every industrialized nation have been reported to be
501 committing suicide en mass in..."
502 :*********************************************************:
503 88888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888S
504
505 *@*@*@**@@****@***@**@****@*@**@****@*@@*@@@**@@***@*@@*@*@*@*@*@*@*@@*@@*@@
506 HELLO, IF YOUU SSSTTTUUUPPPIIIDDD JERKS KNEW WE ARE TRACING
507 THIS STORIES BACK TO THE COMPUTERRRRRRRR OWNERS YOU WOULD
508 TRY TO JAM OUR COMPUTERS. THINK AGAIN THOUGH BECAUSE THIS
509 WARNING WILL HAVE BEEN ABOUT TWO HOURS OLD OR MAYBE LONGER
510 SO WATCH OUT BECAUSE WE ARE GOINGTO GETCHA
CAPTAIN
511 Jack smith The
512 destroyer of
513 PPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNKKKKKKKKKSSSSSS
514
515 hello, professor falken
516 would you like to play a game?
517
518 Hi people of the Earth
519 I am a Martian, who has been transformed into this computer
520 and am currently having sex with your finger-tips.
521 I can tell you are enjoying it, because you have moved
522 your lips in an upward curve. That means
523 1. funny, or
524 2. I like it.
525 I wish to thank you, it was a pleasurable experiance
526 to say the least. I will see you latteer.
527 The Martian Man
528 *#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*
529
530 :=:=:=:=:=:=:=:=:=:=:=:=:=:=:=:=:=:=:=:=:=:=:=:=:=:=:=:=:=:=:=:
531 Well J.C and the not to incandescent Boys are back.
532 There goes the locality! Were did you writhe out from? This
533 system is satiated with dissenters as it is, why so radical?
534 :=:=:=:=:=:=:=:=:=:=:=:=:=:=:=:=:=:=:=:=:=:=:=:=:=:=:=:=:=:=:=:
535 voyeur - Regarding your comments about line 320<>
536 I heard a remark the other day that I found amusing.
537
538 The democrats are responsible for assuring that everyone shares
539 equally in the short end of the stick, while the Republicans
540 are responsible for increasing the size of the stick.
541
542 The same can be said about Labor Unions vs. Free workers.
543
544 An interesting equation: Democrats=Labor Unions=Socialists.
545
546 RSVP
547
548 ===================================================================
549 .:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.
550 REPENT SINNERS - yes, we are back, but we take no credit for
551 the above garbage. We think you are perverse people, but we don't
552 waste space. J.C. and the Boys
553 .:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.
554 JoshuaJoshuaJoshuaJoshuaJoshuaJoshuaJoshuaJoshuaJoshuaJoshua
555 "Joshua!" My current name slowly penetrated my sleep-groggy
556 mind. As I rolled over and opened my eyes, I heard L'homme
557 stir beside me. Looking up, I saw Petrov staring at us with
558 a strange gleam in his eyes. He reached in his pocket, pulled
559 out a capsule, and broke it in our faces. As he stepped back
560 out of range, my sluggish mind realized what was happening.
561 Holding my breath, I tried to get up; unfortunately, the gas
562 was one which worked through the skin, and as I lost
563 consciousness, the last thing I saw was Petrov standing there
564 with that fanatical look on his face, and the clock on the wall
565 behind him prosaically declaring it to be 05:15.
566
567
568 I could feel my head jerk back and forth, and a vague stinging
569 in my cheeks, but it didn't seem important. The cold water in my
570 face, however, was a different matter. Sputtering and swearing,
571 I opened my eyes to see several police standing around the room,
572 with the hotel manager hovering in the background. I attempted
573 to sit up, but my arms refused to cooperate. One of the cops
574 pulled me upright, and I noticed ropes lying on the bed. I
575 realized then that I had been bound, and my arms and legs were
576 asleep. As I massaged my arms, trying to get the circulation
577 going again, the police lieutenant read us our rights, then
578 informed us that the hotel clerk had recognized us as the
579 previous occupants of room 1428, where several men had been
580 found dead a few days earlier. The clerk had called the police,
581 who arrived a few minutes later. When the manager had let them
582 into the room, they had found us tied up, unconscious. Now they
583 were taking us to the station, where they planned on getting to
584 the bottom of all this. As they handcuffed us and led us out of
585 the room, I saw by the clock on the wall that it was 06:13.
586 We had been out for an hour.
587 As we rode the elevator down from our room on the 23rd
588 floor, we heard a loud roar from above. The elevator shook,
589 the lights flickered and went out, and suddenly we felt
590 ourselves in freefall.
591 They say that when facing death, one's life passes before
592 them but all I could think of was that 20 floors at twenty
593 feet per floor was 400 feet, time equals one-half of the
594 square root of two times 400, velocity equals acceleration times
595 time -- in five seconds, we would hit the ground, at slightly
596 over 100 miles per hour.
597 I wished my life would start flashing; it didn't have much
598 time and I wanted to review it all.
599 JoshuaJoshuaJoshuaJoshuaJoshuaJoshuaJoshuaJoshuaJoshuaJoshua
600 {{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{[[[
601 1. IN RESPONSE TO THE QUESTION OF INTELLECUTAL, TO BE OR NOT TO BE, I SAY
602 THIS: YOU CAN HAVE ALL THE INTELLECT IN THE WORLD, INVENT THE ATOMIC BOMB
603 AND STILL NOT BE ABLE TO REMEMBER HOW TO FIND YOUR WAY HOME! A. EINSTEIN.
604 2. I'VE RUN OUT OF SPACE, HELP! MIKEY, HELP!! FIN SHALL RETURN (I HOPE!)
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