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"Transcript of the KAOS shows"
[a transcript of a recording of a particular Radio KAOS show, from
gerhard@jason.nl ( Gerhard Den Hollander), ]
< Phone in session unfortunately not on my tape>
Jim Ladd:
Thank you for your call,
allright, since we have the guy here who brought us, we might
as well do something, now before we gonna do that, let me
introduce you to one of the intrinsical? parts of the bleeding
heart band. This is a gentleman who has a solo album out on
his own , which is doing quite well. He is the keyboardist for
the Bleeding Heart Band, he was in a group called Ace on time,
also Squeeze and most recently Mike and the Mechanics.
Will you please welcome the keyboard player of the Bleeding
Heart Band, mr Paul Carrack
[TEMPTED <(c) Paul Carrack>]
Ladies and gentleman Paul Carrack
< band enters the stage >
So for the very last time, we are about to link up with the
satelite , we will begin the last show of the Radio KAOS tour
with one more telephone call, this one from outside london
B:- Hello, I'm Billy
J:- Yes
B:- I hear Radio Waves in my head
J:- You hear Radio Waves in your head, Ok is there a request
that you have tonight for KAOS?
[RADIO WAVES]
J:- That was a song called Radio Waves by RW &TBHB
<Jingle :: "K.A.O.S. Radio>
You're listening to a live satelite broadcast,
from KAOS on the road
and we've got Billy on the line
B:- I'm from the valley's
J:- You're from the Valley ?
B:- No Jim you schmuck, the valleyS
J:- Ja The Valleys
B:- Wales, Male voice choires
J:- Ah whales England, now is this sperm or bluetip ?
B:- Ha Ha Ha Ha very funny Jim
J:- Sorry, but obviously when you were put together
batteries were not included,
is that why your voice sounds like eh. ~~~~
B:- I'll show you Jim
< Bleeps, intro from WTTM >
J:- Look all of that aside,
I'm just glad that you're with us tonight,
Welcome To The Machine
[WELCOME TO THE MACHINE]
KAOS on the road,
<jingle>
Let's go back to the telephones now, while you were listening
to that last song, Billy and I were having a conversation and
he was explaining me how he was able to call me here at the
station
B:- I was able to use the cordless phone Jim, otherwise I would
be completely incommunicado
J:- Ahah, yeah
B:- I can hack my way into anywhere I choose
J:- Let me get this straight, you can hack your way into...
B:- See that light bulb next of you
J:- Yes ?
<BANG lightbulb explodes>
B:- Information is power Jim,
J:- Information is power, I like that
But let me get this straight, you've just moved out to LA and
you're living with you're great uncle david
You're a long way form home pal
< music of WNI starting>
B:- I miss the male voice choires and Molly
J:- Who's molly
B:- Benny's wife
J:- Who's benny
B:- <Talking>Me and Ben went out
[ WHO NEEDS INFORMATION]
<News Flashes:
Further Conflicts in Northern Ireland, two man have been shot
dead by undercover securirty forces [oh]
<>
Australia has protested against Ethiopea about the seizure of
a ship from Australia carrying relief aid from australia, part
of its cargo was destined for the rebel controlled area of
eritrea and Tigre Confisques
<>
...... about weapons.
Obviously if we are producing things that we cannot need,
that we cannot even justify to our own people, the we are
going to supply them to others
And when that happens then we're fuelling war
<>
20% of the worlds scientists are involved in weaponsresearch
25%of R&D worldwide goes on weapons
50 [15??]% off all british government R&D is on weapons
more financial and intelectual recources are devoted to
<chime> weapons worldwide
<Babbling continues during the chime of the cash registers>
[MONEY]
<jingle>
A nice version of money and Paul Carrack on vocals by the way
And now a word from one of our sponsors:
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getting crazy by your dreed of a boss
who has you running for coffee all day?
Well here's the answer:
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how to respond to a senate sub commitee
How to stab yourself with a fingernail in your palm,
to release inarterial blood,
We tell you allmost all about your moronic beautifull employer
We'll arrange for scarcely clad photo's to appear unauthorized in sleazy
magazines
We find a former best friend to rat on you
We'll even arrange for you to find GOD write a book,
and to do lecture tours in your declining years.
You don't have to know how to type letters,
You don't even have to know how to turn over letters
The time is right for American women
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<< BIMBO GRADUATE >>
just call 976-BIMBO
**now**
R:- Einz zvei drei anger
[IN THE FLESH!]
[HAVE A CIGAR]
[PIGS III different ones]
[WISH YOU WERE HERE]
Mel Collins
[MOTHER]
J:- Wembley I give you the words and the music of Roger Waters!
Unbelievable set of songs,
doesn't matter which side of the atlantic your on
In that set we heard :
Mother from an album entitled The Wall,
Title track from Wish You Were Here,
Pigs from the Animals album,
Have a Cigar also from Wish You Were Here,
and we began with In The Flesh Part II also from The Wall.
You & I are listening to Radio KAOS
< jingle>
OK' let's get back to Billy
Billy....., Yooh Billy?
B:- I'm sorry Jim, I was miles away, keeping an eye on molly
J:- You were keeping an eye on Molly,
I thought Molly lived in Wales
B:- I had hacked my way into a surveillance satelite
I can see whole wales from 500 Miles high Jim
J:- Let me get this straight, You're trying to tell me that you can
keep an eye on Molly by hacking into a government satelite
come on
[MOLLY'S SONG
Hold tight Baby, baby dear in the starlight,
there is a glow in the stars tonight,
it's moving,
it could be your satelite..
Is it burn deep,
Then will it bring me closer to thee
Oooh 2 heartsd
Ohh will it keep us apart
Whooooo
Billy,Billy,Billy,
When you're coming home
cause I need you back,
and I want you back
right now, right here
Whooooooo
Billy,Billy,Billy,
where did we go
?? And it's not all that bad
And I now your hearts though
And I want you to know
I'm here for you ??
Whoo Whoo Whoo
Billy,Billy,Billy,
when you're coming home
And it's not all that bad
and I know your hearts through
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ooohoohoo
Ohhohohohohoh
Goodbye little spy in the sky,
they say that camera's don't lie,
Am I happy, am I sad,
am I good , am I bad
Oh Billy, Billy, come home
Ooooh I need you, Yeaheahheah
]
Lady's and gentlemen miss Doreen chanter
Well Billy,
if you really are as clever as you say,
perhaps you can close the door
<KA-CLANK>
thank you
[ME OR HIM]
And now for some live rock'n'roll at K.A.O.S. where rock'n'roll
comes out of chaos in a song called The Powers That Be
[THE POWERS THAT BE]
R:- Thank you we're gonna will take a break for about ten minutes and the
we'll be back to do some more
J:- Thank you 10 minutes is exactly 10 minurtes, we'll turn it
over to our local station Radio KAOS will return in just a moment
< Break , the movie, some russians (sound alikes),
interrogating someone about UFO sightings>
< Sound man >
OK welcome back, the people out in the audience truck say you didn't
do half bad for an english audience, you were nice and loud and you
woke everybody up in LA who were trying to sleep into this, so we
don't have to do the first half again so we'll do a few new ones
this time So will you welcome back once more the voice of Radio KAOS,
mr Jim Ladd
J:- Welcome back to part 2 of the radio KAOS show, this is the
part of the show where we take a couple of more telephones calls
from the audience to find out what you find from the first
part of the show, or generally what is on your mind
Hello Roger how are you <crowd getting crazy>
Rog: Hello there
<just a side note, but does RW has the right word on
the right place or doesn't he ? ;-)>
[Phone in: <shortened, by me, long version will follow>
J:- We have out first caller hear
R:- Speak to me
-Roger Will you run for president?
- What a horrible thought, no
-Do you believe the tide is turning ?
- Yes and NO (at 2:00 not at the end of the show yes)
-Where WYWH, the wall TFC personal ?
- Yes
-Do you think of MAggie, in the 2nd verse of PIgs ?
- Occasionally, also on others
]
J:- I like to continue with the second half of Radio KAOS, but
first a word from one of our sponsors
<goof up, tape doesntt start>
Hi friends ,
welcome to forest lawn fawn hall memorial,
in todays hitech world of space technology and robotics
we at Fawn Hall continue to deliver new techniwues for dealing
with the ineviitable.
Yes friends I'm talking about the day, the grim reaper knocks on your
door of that of a beloved one.
Well now, in addition to our conventional mthods of burial and cremation,
we offer you
<<THE ALL NEW FOREST LAWN FAWN HALL MEMORIAL SHREDDING ALTERNATIVE>>
Consider the adventages of burial of your whole family in the area once
solely occupied by uncle Henry under the old method
Friends shredding is the way of the future,
Fast economical and efficient,
so come in today, and see ,
and ask about the latest methods of burial technology,
<<THE ALL NEW FOREST LAWN FAWN HALL MEMORIAL SHREDDING ALTERNATIVE>>
And remember when you think dead, think shred
call 1-800-WESHRED today
<>
[GOING TO LIVE IN LA]
<jingle>
We think of it as main street,
but to the rest of the world it's known as the Sunset strip
[SUNSETSTRIP]
<jingle>
We've all been wondering how this next bit was going to play in londeon,
you see it's kindof a combination of sexual innuendo and sportsfishing
so ... <~~~~~~~~~~>
<> LLL LL LADIES AND GENTLEMEN the fishreport with a beatA
featuring paraquat kelly and his fishing companion cinthy the fox
allright it's time now for the fishreport with a beat
.....
85 red rockhard rocca
35 Naughty bits
Marina dildo
< Kinda like Rowan Atkinson/Ben Elton sketch
"Nobody hear called Jones">
And that'll do it for this edition of the Fishreport with a beat
?- They liked it
J:- LAdys and Gentleman on Gtr, Andy The HAt fairweather low
this one for our great leader,
???? in the south antlantic
[GET YOUR FILTHY HANDS OF MY DESERT]
[SOUTHHAMPTON DOCK]
J:-
B:- Hey Jim I've been listening to your show
J:- Billy
B:- Look what I have found
J:- Billy I appreciate your magician with the cordless telephone and all
but we're on the air life and you acnnot just cut in any time you want
B:- You'll like this
J:- Billy <sigh>
B:- I found this in the files on abbbey road studios
<Billy takes control over the video display and shows a video of:
{ARNOLD LAYNE]
Rog: The grat syd Barrett, he shouldn't be forgot
J:- Well Billy I don't know how you did that ~~~~~~
Well just try to
Have you come up with a solution yet ?
B:- I'm getting closer
J:- Well we let our young computer genius work on his particular problem,
while we continue with a sonc entitled IF
[IF]
[5:06 AM]
On guitar andy Fl
<jingle>
J:- Allright let's get back to Billy and found out how he is coming along
B:- Just getting through some data it must look good
<>>
<News flash about hacking trees>
3rd of the amazone rain forest has been mostly for cattle to supply the USA with hamburgers
foreach westerner 2 to 3 tress die each year,
representing an area the size of england and scotland
[NOT NOW JOHN]
<Fuck all that chanting /turning in Tear down the wall>
You will remember at the beginning of the show we had a call from the
hall from a guy by the name of sean who wanted to hear more music from
the wall well sean this one's for you it's called:
ANOTHER BRICK IN THE WALL
[ANOTHER BRICK IN THE WALL] <prt I, happiest prt II>
J:- Allright wembley, there's a fine voice tonight
Since we're on the subject of education, in america one goes to school
for 12 years, cramming your mind full useless facts called homework,
try to please your parents, try tp lease your teachers, and when you
come out at the end of these 12 years the lights are on,
but there's nobody home
[NOBODY HOME]
B I'm finished Jim
J You're finished billy ...Have you solved the problem,
have you come to some sort of decision yet?
B It's later than you think
J It sure is later then I think,but what's the point
B There s still some time < Franatic bongo drums start>
I heard that
Now the question is what should be done,
B it's time to go home
J easy maestro
What do you mean i5t's time to go home
<more drums>
Billy, Easy Billy
B It's time to go home
[HOME]
<bongo's, warrrom soounds (SpartingGale or something)
bearing 060 range
nuke analyzer
this is the SPO confidence report now,
mid confidence is high
confidence high inform missile warning in form sentence
hello we have an IRBM in the system and our confidence is high
missile warning informed sir,
thank you
<and some more of this>
B: 4 minutes and counting
B: I've decided to stop the pain,
B: I'm going to push the button
B: I'm soory Jim it's the bottom of me
Xtra verse:
"Everybody needs somebody"
"Everybody needs somebody"
"Everybody needs someone they call home"
"Everybody needs someone they call home"
by one of the ladys
[4 MINUTES]
<black out>
There must be more to life,
then lucky strikes and some unlucky ones,
and folded flags and pipes and drums
< Taken from the song Folded flags, from When the wind blows>
I wanted everyone to know what it felt like,
you me and The Powers That Be,
will you forgive me Jim ?
J:- If you'll swear you'll never fly again
[THE TIDE IS TURNING]
Includes the lost verse
"The tide is turning sylvester
We shall not be dragged down in your south china sea,
of macho bulllshit and mediocrity"
Rog: The bleeding heart band
Mr Mel Colins
on the drums Graham Broad
Jay Stapley
Mrs Doreen chanter
Miss Katie Kissoon
Mr Paul Carrack
the inevitable Andy Fairwqeather Low
and form southern California, the voice of Radio KAOS, Mr Jim Ladd
Thank you
Someone:Roger Waters
Rog: Thank you, thank you all for calling,
we'll see you all again very soon, in about a minute
<encored>
Rog: We've eh OK we've got eh we've got as friend whose coming to night,
you, most of you, will know her voice from an album from a long time ago,
Dark Side of The Moon, and she's coming here to do some songs with us,
Mrs Clare Torey
[BREATHE TGGITS BRAINDAMAGE ECLIPSE]