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                          PAGAN PORNO?
                           by Pagan X

[Editor's  note:  This  piece probably ought to be considered  at
least partly as a publications review,  but it seems to go  some-
what  farther abroad than the limits of that title,  and makes an
interesting proposal, so we present it here, on its own two feet.
-Pete]

[Author's note:  If you wish to pass over this Feminist diatribe,
at least read the last paragraph,  as it contains information  of
interest to the libidinous.  Thank you.  - Pagan X]

     Once,  long ago and in a bed far away,   a former lover said
"If  you were blonde with big breasts,  you probably wouldn't  be
into this Goddess-stuff."

     A real feeling of pain, of sorrow, shot through me, from the
top of my head to somewhere near my heart.   In my own bed, in my
own  house,  with  someone who presumably loved me -- I  was  not
safe,  not  good enough,  not free from comparisons.   Beyond  my
front  door,  I  knew and accepted the constant battle with  per-
fection:  on posters, billboards, radio ads, TV shows, magazines,
comic  books  - the Barbie-body,  the  money,  the  make-up,  the
clothes.  In my own bed I still was not beautiful enough, because
I  was  not beautiful in the right way,  and this he saw  as  the
entirety of my religious impulse.

     Just as it bothered me in my own bed,  I find an emphasis on
a certain form of beauty in Pagan art disturbing.   I look up  to
Pagan  newsletters as my communication with co-religionists,  for
the reassurance of their company in my commitment to the Goddess.
In  a way,  they are family,  and while I don't always expect  to
read  what I believe on an issue,  I also take them curiously  to
heart.   And so, I found myself responding strongly to the art in
"The  Vigil;  A Graphic Journal Of Wiccaen (sic) And Earth  Reli
gions".

     Graphic is right!   The cover illustration features a  prone
female nude upon the pentacle,  all ready to be sacrificed, raped
or inundated with chocolate sauce for that matter; a very passive
and  ominous figure.   It was a representation of The Great Rite,
an aspect of Wiccan iconography beloved by sensational  newspaper
columnists.   The  favored graphic of this 22 page production  is
the  naked body of the 16 to 23 year-old caucasian female accoun-
ted for in 22 nipples and 11 breasts behind something,  that's 33
breasts  in all,  distributed among 31 female  faces.   The  male
forms, also caucasian, ( none of which were full frontal nudes as
were many of the women), found a mere five representations.  As I
have noted, all of them were missing something - phalli.

     I  prepared  to review it negatively on the grounds  of  the
abysmal punctuation,  spelling and folklore, which it all has.  I
still feel that anyone who publishes a newsletter and presumes to
write  should deign to use a dictionary,  but I had to be  honest
with myself.   I hated this newsletter for the pictures.   Gerald
Gardner couldn't spell,  and was not the most critical folklorist
of  his time,  so who am I to talk?   I also have to concede that
other people have different visions of Goddess,  and have a right
to  these visions,  even if I think they are the fantasies of  an
immature  subconscious.   If these people have a revelation  that
says that Hecate is the same as Persephone, is about 18 years old
and doesn't wear any clothes,  as long as they don't insist  that
it's The One True Way of Goddess Worship,  I shouldn't get snotty
about  the  overuse  of double quotes in  their  newsletter.   My
religion  is not defined by one man's sexual fantasies (and  that
includes Gerald Gardner),  but it should be able to include them,
perhaps  in  a  small,  dark  box somewhere in the bottom of Lake
Washington.

     Beauty  is a factor in my worship of the Goddess.   I  don't
want  to  measure up to an ideal of beauty  that  is  false,  and
obscene because it is false.   Bo Derek, the Perfect 10, had ribs
removed  to get a long waist,  I'm told.   I worship the  Goddess
because She is all women, and the beauty of all women, many kinds
of  beauty  in many kinds of strengths and  talents,  and  bodies
shaped  to  different sports,  arts,  and  duties:  scarred  from
childbirth,  rough-handed from washing dishes and diapers, myopic
from  reading  in bad light.   The best dancer I ever saw was  an
immense  black woman,  all pillowed fat;  and under that  fat  of
living  well,  highly controlled muscles.   She didn't move in  a
tired,  listless or cautious way,  she didn't stomp or trip;  she
was completely balanced within herself and radiating the joy of a
beautiful woman sharing her skill.   I wanted to see many Goddes-
ses  and equally varied priestesses,  breasts drooping from  nur-
sing,  breasts  unformed in childhood,  with wide hips and narrow
hips and huge hands,  with veins and moles,  with muscles,  stan-
ding, sitting, dancing, drawing, writing...and on top!

     I  want  to see the God represented in a  sexually  exciting
manner!  One of the five males in The Vigil is the editor's self-
portrait,  the only portraiture, I might add (in other words, the
only other 'real' person).   In other sacred  literature,  Jawweh
and His angels wear bathrobes all the time,  or caftans, and even
poor  Jesus has on at least a bath towel.   Male figures in Pagan
art  are often choir-robed Druids;  I want to see the God in  no-
thing but His fur,  and not coyly behind some  bush,  either!   I
want to see him with an erection - it doesn't have to  be  large,
just  sincere.  Sure,  naked  women are just art nouveau,  but to
many a naked man is obscenity... dare to print them!  Try to mail
it!  It doesn't necessarily mean that an editor is a  homosexual.
Why  should they have all the fun?  (And they do.  There are some
wonderful Gods in the men's newsletters).

     I,  Pagan  X,  am a Dread Feminist,  and as a Dread Feninist
could  be  expected to advocate  censorship.   Actually,  I  like
nudes,  and I like sex, and I even watch Dark Shadows in the A.M.
daily on channel 11.   Instead of censoring all the T&A  publica-
tions,  I would like to see a collection of Pagan erotica.  After
all,  the  Goddess  says,  "All acts of love and pleasure are  my
rituals,"  and I think I am safe in assuming that a  healthy  in-
terest in sex is one of the stronger lures of the Neo-pagan move-
ments.  Send me your fantasies, poems, pen and ink drawings... of
meeting the Goddess at the campus coffee shop,  and she,  gently,
joyfully  divesting  you of your tortured virginity (you  do  not
have  to  be male to write this one),  of encounters  with  tall,
dark,  urbane  men,  gaunt  and corpse cold yet with a  world  of
sorrow  in their eyes,  of dragon-transformations of high- school
nerds,  of elderly women,  of many women,  many men,  or all  the
scenes that Dion Fortune glosses over in her novels.   And,  yes,
if you absolutely must,  drawings of firm-breasted nymphs leaning
against a pentagram,  because these will be selected by a commit-
tee so that politics will not intrude upon the really exciting.

     We  plan to put out a chapbook,  or possibly even print some
of  the more reserved works in these hitherto moral  pages.   All
the proceeds would go toward the Hecate Shrine land fund so  that
we  can  have more space to run around religiously naked  in  the
great outdoors to Hecate's honor and glory.  We hope that it will
be  a product that you will be proud to hide under your mattress.
Send submissions to Pagan X,  PO Box 85507,  Seattle, WA., 98145.
This is for real!  I'll be waiting for YOUR submissions, (written
only, please).        - Pagan X

                           ~~~~~~~~~~
Lest we forget,  The Vigil is available from The Oaken  Door,  PO
Box  31250,  Omaha,  Nebraska 68132.  Sample is $2,  subscription
price is $1.50 per issue,  as it is only published  occasionally,
and comes in an envelope.
             ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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SYSOP'S NOTE:  I would be remiss in my duties if I failed to tell
you  that  this  is  from PANEGYRIA volume 2,  number 8,  and was
downloaded from Earthrite BBS (415-651-9496).  PANEGYRIA costs $8
per year,  and their address is Box  85507,  Seattle,  WA  98145.
              Enjoy! - Talespinner, Sysop WeirdBase
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