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96/150: Capt. Kirk & The Holy Grail - A Usenet Parody in one act
Name: Omega Man #1 @5282
Date: Sat Oct 19 13:01:11 1991
From: Klingon Empire (Austin/Rio Grande Valley, Texas)
From: kasprj@operators.its.rpi.edu (Jim Kasprzak)
Subject: A brief Trek parody
Organization: The Big Wedge
This little bit of insanity crept into my brain a few days ago
and got a few chuckles from local Star Trek fans, so I figured
I'd repost it here.
The "Bridge Scene",
from
STAR TREK V.V: CAPTAIN KIRK AND THE HOLY GRAIL...
OLD MAN: Stop! He who would cross the Bridge Of Death, must
answer me these questions three, ere the other side he see.
What... is your name?
KIRK: Captain James T. Kirk, of the United Star Ship Enterprise.
OLD MAN: What... is your quest?
KIRK: To explore strange new worlds. To seek out new life and
new civilizations. To boldly go where no man has gone before!
OLD MAN: What... is your favorite color?
KIRK: Green.
OLD MAN: Pass...
REDSHIRT: That's _easy_!
OLD MAN: Halt! What... is your name?
REDSHIRT: Crewman Smith.
OLD MAN: What... is your quest?
REDSHIRT [in a bored voice]: To explore strange new worlds, to
seek out new life and new civilizations, to boldly go where
no man has gone before.
OLD MAN: What... is the corrosive ingredient in Romulan Ale?
REDSHIRT: Um... ah... I don't know - AIIIIIIIGGGHHH!
SPOCK: Fascinating.
OLD MAN: Halt! What... is your name?
SPOCK: Spock.
OLD MAN: What... is your quest?
SPOCK: To explore strange new worlds. To seek out new life and
new civilizations. To boldly go where no man has gone before.
OLD MAN: What... is the phase velocity of an oscillating subspace
transmission?
SPOCK: Amplitude modulated or frequency modulated?
OLD MAN: I don't know! AIIIIIIGGGHHH!
* * *
That's all that I felt inspired to write. Please don't flame me about
exact wording, I don't watch Trek or Python every day. If anyone feels
like writing more "Captain Kirk and the Holy Grail" scenes, go right
ahead.
----------------------------------------------------------------
__ Live from Capitaland, heart of the Empire State...
___/ | Jim Kasprzak, computer operator @ RPI, Troy, NY, USA
/____ *| Disclaimer: RPI pays me to work, not to think.
\_| "A spirit with a vision is a dream with a mission" -Rush
==== e-mail: kasprj@rpi.edu or kasprzak@mts.rpi.edu
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