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Ahh, the teenage years. They say they are the best years of our lives. You usually don't believe them, with school and such, and you have a darn good reason. However, you can at least make them fun with this file on how to have fun with four drunk friends. A friend and I got together one day and he was talking about how some of his friends always got drunk and how he didn't like getting drunk, even though they kept trying to convince him to. Thus started the conversation that lead to this textfile. I started to suggest some basic things, and evetually the conversation led to some of the most complicated things that involve tricking drunks and havin fun with them.
LEGAL JUNK: I am not responsible for anything that goes wrong with the plans of tricking dunks in this file. As far as I'm concerned, this is for entertainment only.
HOW TO GET THEM DRUNK
I recommend having two people to execute these plans. It shares the fun and is more manageble. To get 4 friends drunk, get a 24 pack of some really potent beer (NO ZIMA!). If you happen to live near a border to Canada, go across the border and get the beer. Their beer is more expensive, but it is also MUCH more potent. Get the beer and put it in the fridge and when they come over, show it to them. However, put your beer in another source, maybe a drawer in the fridge, and instead of your having beer in the cans, before they come over, put Coke or water or some non-alchoholic liquid in the cans. When they have drunk all of the beer, make sure each of them has had an equal amount (6 cans minimum). If Evan has had 5 cans, but Dan has had 7, give Evan another can. If he refuses to drink it, dare him or tell him he is a wimp. Another way to get them all to drink all of the cans is to have a 6-pack chugging contest. Put each of them in a room, so if one wins they can't just say "Darn, Terry won. Oh well, that's enough beer for now." You and your friend should run around to each room giving false info like "Pat's ahead by a can, but you can catch up if you hurry!" or "Dan just dropped one of his cans, and that means you're in the lead! Keep drinking!". For a 15 or 16 year old, they should be drunk by now. If not, keep adding more beer!
TESTING DRUNKEDNESS
One good method is the simple police test. Make a line on the floor and tell them to walk in a straight line down it. The alphabet is another good test. If they aren't drunk and are questioning why you are doing this, just say it's a joke.
PLANS
The following plans are in order from easiest to most complicated to carry out. Easy ones are easy, but complicated ones are more rewarding.
PLAN #1
SUPPLIES:
Lots of black spray paint
Rich upper class neighborhood
Way to get their
HOW TO
Get the friends into the car, and bring them to the rich neighborhood. Now tell them that evrything that is white must be black. This icludes houses, cars, children, etc,. Give them the spraypaint and leave them to paint.
EXCUSE
"They left my house at about 11 o'clock. They got really drunk, and I offered to take them home, but they wouldn't let me, and they said that they would walk home. I went after them but I couldn't find them. I assumed they had gone home like they said."
PLAN #2
SUPPLIES:
Drunk friend with a good car (TransAm, Corvette, Mustang, etc,.)
Open highway with cars but not during rush hour (Too risky)
Another car
HOW TO
Get your non-drunk friend and and get one of you in the other car, and one driving the performance car. Get to the beginning of the open highway and get all of the drunks into the good car. Put some empty beer cans in the car. Now make a mark in the dashboard where the 100 mph mark is and tell the drunk driving the car that he has to keep the needle at that mark until he gets to a certain point or town along the highway that doesn't exist, and if they do, each one of them will ge $1000. Get them going and then turn on the 9 o'clock news to hear the up-close details.
EXCUSE
"They had a few beers and seemed fine, and after they left I discovered a whole bunch was missing, and I couldn't find the cans. They must've taken it on the road."
PLAN #3
SUPPLIES:
Motel room
Camcorder with tape
HOW TO:
Get a motel room in one of those motels that has the external walkways. Get them drunk (You will need to get them VERY drunk for this one), and bring them ito the motel room. Convince two of them that they are really hot chicks ready for some action, and convince the other two that they are in a motel room with two hot women. Now hide the video camera somewhere where they won't notice it, but it has a really good view of the vhole room (Ceiling fan, bookcase, suitcase with top open, etc,. Now leave! Come back early next morning, but if you don't see them in it, the cops probably came and took them away. Get the camcorder at all costs! When you do, watch it to see that they did something, and if they did, make copies and sell them on the internet!
EXCUSE
"They got so drunk last night it was unbelievable. We got them a motel room so they could sleep it off, but we had no idea that anything would happen. When we left, they were all asleep."
PLAN #4
4 drunk friends that you secretly hate
Many laxatives
Motel room
Guts
Camcorder and tape
HOW TO
Get the motel room and get them drunk in it. When they are drunk, get some cookies and put the laxatives on them. Tell the drunks that they can have the cookies once you leave, and then set up the video camera in a hidden position. Do the convincing process in step 3, and at 1 am call the cops for a drug dealing ring running out of the drunks' motel room. The only other thing I can add is to recover the camcorder and tape if possible and sell copies if there is anthing good on it.
EXCUSE
I have no idea. It may be better to just run away.
Well, that just about wraps it up for now. I hope you have enjoyed this textfile!
The Enphorcer
2-23-01