💾 Archived View for zaibatsu.circumlunar.space › ~krixano › phlog › 010419_Questioning.txt captured on 2020-09-24 at 01:35:16.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Questioning... Fright... in the culture, in the known comments - close I'm neither, no thought - that I can tell But the subconcious can't be ignored Oh how I wish it can be ignored, but I also don't Predicting the worst, social has always been jittery, frozen, thinking thouhgts too many to think, Wondering the worst Wondering what if What if it's true, what if I'm wrong What if loss of the discovery or not understanding So I continue to question this feeling, undefinite, yet definite Signs that seem so obvious are not obvious enough because If I'm wrong, the risk would be for nothing The feelings of peers don't relate I don't see what they see, I don't feel what they feel about the other -- The obsessions different - same I do wonder, from time to time... whether they already know whether they disagree with -- whether I'm only because of past events events concerning unforgiving, embarrassing, constant forgetting yet not forgotten, never forgotten -- whether "nurture" (in more ways than one, from different views) is the cause, and if that makes it wrong But I can't help it, I don't think I can? Recently, a feeling, lonliness, a wanting touch of something unattainable, for me Not with my questioning, not with my social axiousness Something interesting, not quite felt before something that cements the answer... does it?