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'''' - gemini edition
`Benjamin runs across the grass, kite in hand. It flails and plummets to the ground. He stops and exhales frustration, composes himself, and tries again, accelerating to great speed for a child his size. Barefoot. The kite picks up as his smile, and for a brief moment, it catches flight.`
Mom is on about my brother again. A guy came looking for him at the house. The druggy type. He hangs with the wrong crowd. Party all night. Sleeps all day.
She wants me to talk to him about it. I don't want to. We always end up in fist fights.
He always knows what to say to push me and I always fall for it. We are so different, just like Mom and Dad. He drinks all day like Dad. I avoid conflict like Mom.
Mom knows that I never listen to her. She needs my help. I know this. Still, I never listen. Sigh. I don't want to regret it later.
He starts to talk back and throw things. Just like Dad. He wants me angry. Calm down. I'm not like them.
This is why I left the house. Not my problem. He storms out. Takes his car.
She insists I go after him. I doubt if it's even worth my trouble. "I don't want to."
Convinced, I take my car after him.
Not two blocks out, he rams me. "I shouldn't have done this."
Tires screech. Metal bangs. We lose control. He hits a bare tree.
For me, everything spins. Ears ring.
Shit. Ray went by the house today. He knows better. Business is never done at home.
I know Mom will tell on me. She's always all up in my shit.
Dad said to give him the stuff and a good ass whooping for breaking rule number one.
Dad should be proud of me. Learning a lot from him.
Bro is here again today. I can't stand him. Why does he even come by anymore? We don't need him.
Dad hates him. I just know. I don't need him. "Doing great without you, bro".
"You're a failure, you fucking loser." Push and shove. "Bitch." I grab my keys and leave.
Burn out. Loud music.
Wait. "Why is he coming after me?" I'm gonna teach him a lesson. Just like Dad does. I'll show you what I can do. Who I am now. What I've become.
I ram him. Lose control. Find a tree.
Oh no. NO.
"What have I done?"
I shake. Shallow breath. I can't swallow. Throat is shut.
I'm in deep shit now. Dad is not gonna like this.
Business meeting. She calls. "Bitch." Always something.
"Family emergency. Excuse me, friends." Premature exodus.
Partners face me. Annoyed. Irritated. Displeased.
Not ideal for business.
I drive up. Two cars, one upside down. Daniel looks okay. Shaken up. The other not so much. Blood and leaves everywhere.
I grab the boy. Face to face. "You fucking failure. Who is gonna pay for the car, boy? You are. He better not die."
No time or money for a funeral. This is not good for business.
"You fucked up big time, boy." Rage.
This puts me behind. Won't be able to make deliveries.
"The stoner came by again."
I worry my Dani boy will end up like his father.
Benji got out. He's safe. I tell him about it when he visits.
"Please help me, son. Dani doesn't listen to me. Show him the way out." Exasperation. Pleading. Begging.
"Please help him, son." Tears. I hold his hand in both of mine. "Look at me. Please." Sorrow. Desperation.
I love him and I am losing him.
A scuffle. I plead Benji to go after him.
I step outside. I see a car flip at the end of the road.
Horror. Screams.
I call Richard. "They've crashed. Our sons are hurt. Please, please hurry."
As I hang up I dread what is next. He will take it out on me.
It's my fault. Why did I insist? Why did I send him after?
What have I done? Despair.
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