Cleverly disguised as a responsible adult
Joined: 2022-12-24
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2024-11-29 MostlyHarmless ┃ 1💬
They don’t let you smile in passport photos because they want you to look the same as if you were standing in line at customs for an hour after spending eight hours jammed into a 777 with all […]
2024-11-29 MostlyHarmless ┃ 1🔗 3💬
Glasses so good, you'll go blind.
"Yes" is a perfectly legitimate response when asked how many hours I've been gaming.
2024-11-29 MostlyHarmless ┃ 1🔗 4💬
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2024-11-28 MostlyHarmless ┃ 4💬
What if “It’s Raining Men” and “Let the Bodies Hit the Floor” are describing the same event from different perspectives?
2024-11-28 MostlyHarmless ┃ 1🔗 3💬
For those extra-stubborn aircraft.
2024-11-28 MostlyHarmless ┃ 1💬
The permission slips for Mrs Frizzle's class must have been wild.
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2024-11-27 MostlyHarmless ┃ 1🔗
Only in Canada... 🍁
Don’t try calling me back after you miss my call. I make three calls a year. You blew it.
2024-11-27 MostlyHarmless ┃ 1💬
I always hit the "no receipt" button at the gas pump. Who needs that kind of negativity in their life?
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2024-11-26 MostlyHarmless ┃ 1🔗 6💬
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2024-11-26 MostlyHarmless ┃ 1🔗
This is just too much awesome for one title...
2024-11-26 MostlyHarmless ┃ 1🔗 2💬
You could say you don't want this shirt. But you'd be lying.
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2024-11-25 MostlyHarmless ┃ 1🔗 1💬
You know I think I'll check out the rats at Motel6 first.
2024-11-25 MostlyHarmless ┃ 4💬
I really thought growing old would take longer.
Everyone could afford affordable housing if those with the means to afford the most would at least do the least they could do.
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2024-11-24 MostlyHarmless ┃ 16💬
70% of our planet is covered in water; the other 30% is covered in idiots.
2024-11-24 MostlyHarmless ┃ 1🔗
When you don't make the cut for National Geographic auditions...
2024-11-24 MostlyHarmless ┃ 1🔗 1💬
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2024-11-24 MostlyHarmless ┃ 2💬
Don’t judge a man until you’ve walked a mile in his shoes – unless he wears Crocs in public. You may judge that man immediately.
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2024-11-23 MostlyHarmless ┃ 1🔗
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2024-11-23 MostlyHarmless ┃ edited ┃ 1🔗
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2024-11-23 MostlyHarmless ┃ 1🔗
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2024-11-23 MostlyHarmless ┃ 9💬
Slowly, Waldo's wife and Mr. Sandiego started putting the pieces together.
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2024-11-22 MostlyHarmless ┃ 2💬
I’m gonna quit this job. Just as soon as I lose my addiction to food and shelter.
2024-11-22 MostlyHarmless ┃ 1🔗 13💬
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2024-11-22 MostlyHarmless ┃ 1🔗 10💬
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2024-11-22 MostlyHarmless ┃ 2💬
I've never heard an alarm going off on a car worth stealing.
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2024-11-21 MostlyHarmless ┃ 1🔗 3💬
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2024-11-21 MostlyHarmless ┃ 1🔗 3💬
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