There has been interesting discussion in gemlogs listed in CAPCOM during the last week. The term "house husband" stuck in my mind. Today I thought I'd tell about my experience as one.
First off, though, I want to address the more important thing. I read acdw's short entry about the difficulty of finding meaning.
acdw: having a hard time finding meaning
I have had similar experiences on a couple of occasions in my lifetime. While I certainly don't know how you feel exactly I think I have some idea. Please take care of yourself. Antidepressants may be helpful. If you get suicidal thoughts, please, please discuss them and get help! I'm just a stranger on the internet, but if I can help in any way please send email.
The rest of this post is not a response anymore, just some rambling related to the term that I kept remembering.
I'm a father of 5-year-old twins. Back when they were 15 months old I spent half a year at home with them. My wife returned to work. I called myself a *stay-at-home dad* but I guess *house husband* would apply as well.
The first week I was alone with the toddlers one of them got a diarrhea. There was plenty of cleaning up and I hadn't become routined for daily tasks yet. All the grandparents were unavailable for the first couple of weeks so I had to do on my own. My wife was a bit overwhelmed with going back to work. Talk about a shock start.
I soon found a daily routine with proper meals, going outdoors before lunch, naptime etc. I got the kid with the diarrhea back to a healthy weight by feeding a spoonful of oil every meal for a week.
But for the whole half year just running that basic daily routine took a lot of effort. A huge amount of effort. Sure, I could handle the dishes and laundry beside the twins, but I had very few free moments. I objected to anything extra and was becoming mentally and physically exhausted just from everyday life.
With twin toddlers you don't even go to the bathroom in peace. And they're there day and night. Some nights you sleep well, most nights you have interruptions.
Regardless of the intensity, staying at home with the kids has been one of the best experiences of my life. I feel I built a bond with them I couldn't have otherwise. And now that they're older I think I'm seeing the fruit of our parenting efforts.
I went back to work 4 days a week. I'm really grateful that I'm able to do this.
Children are the most important thing I have in life. Important things in life are not easy.
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I have a huge amount of respect for all housewives and house husbands. And all parents that try their best in parenting. For anyone hoping to make that their purpose in life, I hope you can make it work. Far too many people neglect their children while focusing on their career.