Факты о Брюсе Шнайере

Что: 35adde27ce518d4c2e47035a9ace0820866bbfc5

Когда: 2022-07-26 13:03:57+03:00

Темы: crypto fun

Факты о Брюсе Шнайере

Уже не помню откуда эти забавные факты, но целый сборник у меня их.


	
When Bruce Schneier observes a quantum particle, it remains in the

  same state until he has finished observing it

	
Bruce Schneier knows Alice and Bob's shared secret
	
Most people use passwords. Some people use passphrases. Bruce Schneier

  uses an epic passpoem, detailing the life and works of seven mythical
  Norse heroes

	
Bruce Schneier's secure handshake is so strong, you won't be able to

  exchange keys with anyone else for days

	
Bruce Schneier knows the state of schrödinger's cat
	
If we built a Dyson sphere around Bruce Schneier and captured all of

  his energy for 2 months, without any loss, we could power an ideal
  computer running at 3.2 Kelvin to count up to 2^256. This strongly
  implies that not only can Bruce Schneier brute-force attack 256-bit
  keys, but that he is built of something other than matter and occupies
  something other than space

	
Bruce Schneier writes his books and essays by generating random

  alphanumeric text of an appropriate length and then decrypting it


	
Schneier knows if Reiser did it
	
Bruce Schneier doesn't need backups because his hard drive knows that

  failure is not an option

	
Bruce Schneier uses a variation of the sha1 algorithm to drive his

  car, which is why he never has collisions

	
Bruce Schneier does not share forks when eating with dining

  philosophers

	
SHA = "Schneier has access" SHA2 = "Schneier has access - and a spare

  too"

	
There are no composite numbers. Only prime numbers Bruce has broken

  into smaller pieces

	
Erwin Schrödinger had a mere cat; Bruce Schneier has a Bengal tiger
	
Bruce Schneier wrote the random number generator used to generate

  thermal noise

	
Bruce Schneier distrusts atomic clocks because the timing attacks are

  too obvious

	
Remember - if you ever lose your password, you can still ask Bruce

  Schneier

	
When Bruce Schneier plays lotto, he doesn't guess. He determines
	
Bruce Schneier uses a different salt for his soup everyday
	
Bruce Schneier can hear sounds through vacuum
	
Bruce Schneier knows J. Random, and where he lives
	
Most people salt their hash. Bruce salt and peppers his
	
Bruce Schneier feeds Schrödinger's cat on his back porch. Without

  opening the box

	
AES stands for "Ain't Encryption to Schneier."
	
Bruce Schneier loves women with extra padding
	
Bruce Schneier is a proof that one way functions do not exist
	
ITAR prevents Bruce Schneier from travelling abroad, even though the

  restrictions on the export of strong crypto have been lifted

	
cryptographically secure (adj): 1. uninteresting to Bruce Schneier
	
Stephen Hawking changed his opinion on the information paradox when he

  realized that not even black holes can hide information from Bruce
  Schneier

	
Bruce Schneier once could not decrypt something. Then he woke up
	
God does not play dice with the universe. That's Bruce Schneier's job
	
There are no prime numbers, just numbers Bruce Schneier hasn't

  bothered to factor yet

	
Bruce Schneier can distinguish non-orthogonal quantum states
	
Every time Bruce Schneier speaks, a cryptographer dies
	
Bruce Schneier doesn't encrypt, he Bruce Schneiers
	
Only Bruce Schneier is allowed to wear the "I read the NSA's e-mail"

  t-shirt

	
When transmitted over any socket, Bruce Schneier's public key causes

  libpcap to enter an infinite malloc loop

	
Bruce Schneier is always the man in the middle
	
When Bruce Schneier observes a quantum particle, it remains in the

  same state until he has finished observing it

	
Bruce Schneier can smell weak keys
	
Bruce Schneier doesn't need to hide data with steganography - data

  hides from Bruce Schneier

	
Bruce Schneier knows the state of schrödinger's cat
	
The Dining Cryptographers always wait until Bruce Schneier has been

  served

	
Bruce found a secure way to reuse a one-time pad
	
Bruce Schneier knows you are reading this
	
Bruce Schneier doesn't even know the meaning of the word ciphertext,

  because to him, everything is plaintext

	
Bruce Schneier's secure handshake is so strong, you won't be able to

  exchange keys with anyone else for days

	
Bruce Schneier does not share forks when eating with dining philosophers
	
Bruce Schneier can force Brownian motion to go in one direction only
	
Bruce Schneier can tie cherry stems into Feistel nets with his tongue
	
The reason why BSDs are now the most secure OSes is that BSD stands for

  "Bruce Schneier Debugged it"

	
Bruce Schneier can calculate MD5 hashes in his head. For any length of

  data. In constant time. Drunk

	
Bruce uses Turing tape as toilet paper
	
Bruce Schneier can read and understand Perl programs
	
Bruce Schneier's two-factor authentication consists of his left and

  right fists

	
Bruce Schneier is immune to birthday attacks - no children are born on

  his birthday to avoid collisions

	
If Bruce Schneier multiplies two primes, the product is prime
	
Bruce Schneier takes no prisoners, so there never is a dilemma
	
Bruce Schneier is the root of all certificates
	
Bruce Schneier knows Chuck Norris' private key
	
Regardless of their length, all passwords are vulnerable to a

  Bruce-force attack

	
At college, Bruce Schneier had his way with so many women that his dorm

  room was called "The One-Time Pad."

	
Parallel lines meet at Bruce Schneier
	
Bruce Schneier has solved the Travelling Salesman problem in O(1) time,

  but hasn't published it because he doesn't like salesmen

	
Bruce is so influential that a blog link is indistinguishable from a

  DDoS attack

	
Bruce Schneier puts his pants on in constant time... no matter how many

  legs he has

	
Bruce Schneier is also an accomplished children's author. He wrote the

  famous childhood crypto book, "One Fish, Twofish, Red Fish, Blowfish"

	
If Bruce Schneier multiplies two primes, the product is prime
	
Bruce Schneier can find Waldo in one chronon
	
Bruce Schneier does not bother with challenge-response mechanisms. No such

  system dares to challenge him

	
Bruce Schneier takes no prisoners, so there never is a dilemma
	
Bruce Schneier can make onion routers cry
	
When you email Bruce Schneier, you don't need to press "send"

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