Aihuxi.116 net.jokes utcsrgv!utzoo!decvax!ucbvax!ihnss!ihuxi!cjy Thu Apr 1 09:37:38 1982 Murphys Law Murphy's Law and its Constitutive Relationships ------------------------------------------------ MURPHY'S LAW: If anything can go wrong it will. PATRICK'S THEOREM: If the experiment works, you must be using the wrong equipment. SKINNER'S CONSTANTS: Those numbers which when added, subtracted, multiplied, or divided, yield the right answer. ( Also known as Finnegan's Finageling Factors ) HOMER'S FIVE THUMB POSTULATE: Experience varies directly with the equipment ruined. FLAGEL'S LAW OF THE PERVERSITY OF INANIMATE OBJECTS: Any inanimate object, regardless of composition or configuration, may be expected to perform at any time in a totally unexpected manner for reasons that are entirely obscure or completely impossible. ALLEN'S MAXIM: When all else fails, read the instructions. SPARE PARTS PRINCIPLE: The accessibility of small parts which fall from the work bench varies directly with the size of the part and inversely with its importance to the experiment. THE COMPENSATION COROLLARY: The experiment may be considered a success if no more than 50% of the observed results must be discarded to obtain a correlation with the theory. GUMPERSON'S LAW: The probability of a given event happening is inversely proportional to its desirability. THE ORDERING PRINCIPLE: The supplies necessary for yesterday's experiment must be ordered no later than tomorrow noon. THE ULTIMATE PRINCIPLE: By definition, when you are working with the unknown, you know not what you will find. FUTILITY FACTOR: No experiment is ever a complete failure; it can always serve as a bad example. Chuck Young at ihuxi!cjy ----------------------------------------------------------------- gopher://quux.org/ conversion by John Goerzen of http://communication.ucsd.edu/A-News/ This Usenet Oldnews Archive article may be copied and distributed freely, provided: 1. There is no money collected for the text(s) of the articles. 2. The following notice remains appended to each copy: The Usenet Oldnews Archive: Compilation Copyright (C) 1981, 1996 Bruce Jones, Henry Spencer, David Wiseman.