Ateklabs.1086
net.jokes
utcsrgv!utzoo!decvax!duke!chico!harpo!cbosg!teklabs!keithe
Tue Mar  9 12:55:58 1982
Try this one...
THE ULTIMATE FINAL EXAMINATION

     Instructions: Read each question carefully. Answer  all  questions.
Time limit is four (4) hours. Begin immediately.

     History: Describe the history of the Papacy from its origin to  the
present,  concentrating  especially, but not exclusively, on its social,
political, economic, religious and philosophical impact on Europe, Asia,
America and Africa. Be brief, concise and specific.

     Medicine: You have been provided with a razor  blade,  a  piece  of
gauze  and a bottle of Scotch. Remove your appendix. Do not suture until
your work has been inspected and approved. Allow yourself no  more  than
five (5) minutes for this.

     Public Speaking: Approximately  2500  riot-crazed  aborigines  will
soon  be  storming the room. Calm them. You may use any ancient language
except Greek or Latin.

     Biology: Create life. Estimate the differences in subsequent  human
culture  if this life form had developed 300 million years earlier, with
special attention to its probable effect on  the  English  Parliamentary
system. Prove your thesis.

     Music: Write a piano concerto.  Orchestrate  and  perform  it  with
flute and drums. You will find a piano under your seat.

     Psychology: Based on your knowledge of their  works,  evaluate  the
emotional stability, degree of adjustment, and repressed frustrations of
each of the following: Alexander of Aphrodisis, Rameses II,  Gregory  of
Nicia,  and Hammurabi. Support your evaluation with quotations from each
man's work, making  appropriate  references.  It  is  not  necessary  to
translate.

     Sociology: Estimate the sociological problems that might  accompany
the end of the world. You may construct a theory to test your theory.

     Engineering: The disassembled parts of a high  powered  rifle  have
been  placed nearby. You will also find an instruction manual written in
Swahili. In ten (10) minutes a hungry Bengal tiger will be  admitted  to
the  room.  Take whatever action you feel necessary. Be prepared to jus-
tify whatever decision you make.

     Economics: Develop a realistic plan for  refinancing  the  national
debt.   Trace  the possible effects of your plan in the following areas:
cubism, the donatist controversy, the wave theory of light. Outline  one
plan  for  eliminating these effects. Point out the deficiencies in your
point of view, as demonstrated in your answer to the latter part of this
problem.

     Political Science: There is a red telephone nearby. Start World War
III.  Report at length in its socio-political effects, if any.

     Epistemology: Take a position for or against truth. Prove its vali-
dity.

     Physics: Explain the nature of matter. Include in  your  answer  an
evaluation of the impact of the development of mathematics on science.

     General Knowledge: Describe in detail. Be objective and specific.

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 Bruce Jones, Henry Spencer, David Wiseman.