Aucbonyx.210
net.jokes
utzoo!decvax!ucbvax!ARPAVAX:Onyx:jmrubin
Fri Dec 18 16:39:44 1981
The Night Before Chanukah or ...
"Deck The Halls Mit Schmaltz oon Challeh"

'Tvas the night before Chanukah, boicheks and meidels,
Not a sound could be heard, not even the dreidels.
In the kitchen, the Bubbie was choppin' a bite,
Salami, pastrimi, a glassele tey,
And soyere pickles with bagels--oy vey!
Gesundt and geshmack the kinderlach felt,
While dreaming of toglach and Chanukah gelt.
The alarm clock was sittin',
A kloppen and tickin'
And Bubbie was carving a shtikele chicken.
A tummel arose like a thousand Baroches--
Santa had fallen and broken his [censored]
I put on my slippers, eins, zvei, drei,
While Bubbie was enjoying her herring and rye.
I ran for my bathrode and buttonned my gatkes,
And Bubbie was just devouring the latkes.
To the window I ran and to my surprise,
A little red yalmeke greeted my eyes.
When he got to the door and saw the menorah,
"Yiddishe kinder," he said, "Kenahorah!"
"I thought I was in a strange hois;
As long as I'm here, I'll leave a few toys."
"Come into the kitchen, I'll get you a dish,
A guppel, a leffel, a shtikele fish."
With smacks of delight, he started his fressen,
Chopped liver, and kneidlach, and kreplach gegessen.
Along with his meals, he had a few shnapps;
When it came to eating, this boy was tops.
He asked for some knishes mit feffer oon tsaltz,
But they were so hot, he yelled "OY GEVALT!"
He buttoned his hoisen and ran from the tish,
"Your koshereh meals are simply delish."
As he went through the door, he said "See you all later,
I'll be back next Pesach in time for the Seder."
More rapid than eagles, his prancers they came,
As he whistled and shouted and called them by name,
"Now Izzie, now Morris, now Louis and Sammy,
On Irving and Maxie and Hymie and Manny."
He gave a geshrey as he drove out of sight,
"A good yontiff to all and to all a good night!!"

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 Bruce Jones, Henry Spencer, David Wiseman.