F I D O N E W S -- Volume 14, Number 44 3 November 1997 +----------------------------+-----------------------------------------+ | The newsletter of the | ISSN 1198-4589 Published by: | | FidoNet community | "FidoNews" | | _ | 1-904-409-7040 [1:1/23] | | / \ | | | /|oo \ | | | (_| /_) | | | _`@/_ \ _ | | | | | \ \\ | Editor: | | | (*) | \ )) | Christopher Baker 1:18/14 | | |__U__| / \// | | | _//|| _\ / | | | (_/(_|(____/ | | | (jm) | Newspapers should have no friends. | | | -- JOSEPH PULITZER | +----------------------------+-----------------------------------------+ | Submission address: FidoNews Editor 1:1/23 | +----------------------------------------------------------------------+ | MORE addresses: | | | | submissions=> cbaker84@digital.net | +----------------------------------------------------------------------+ | For information, copyrights, article submissions, | | obtaining copies of FidoNews or the internet gateway FAQ | | please refer to the end of this file. | +----------------------------------------------------------------------+ Have you ever seen a dream squawking? Table of Contents 1. EDITORIAL ................................................ 1 Those pesky formatting instructions ...................... 1 2. LETTERS TO THE EDITOR .................................... 2 Needs FidoNews in Net 332 in Zone 2 ...................... 2 I messed up! ............................................. 2 3. ARTICLES ................................................. 4 FTSC Administrator - NOTICE OF VOTE ...................... 4 CYBERNAUTS SING THE PRAISES OF BULLETIN BOARDS ........... 6 4. COLUMNS .................................................. 9 Fidonet in Europe ........................................ 9 5. COORDINATORS CORNER ...................................... 15 North American Backbone Echo Changes [Sep-Oct] ........... 15 6. NET HUMOR ................................................ 16 Diary of an AOL user ..................................... 16 7. ADVERTISE YOUR FREE SERVICE/EVENT ........................ 19 Wrestling Echos .......................................... 19 8. NOTICES .................................................. 20 Future History ........................................... 20 FidoNet via Internet Hubs ................................ 20 9. FIDONET SOFTWARE LISTING ................................. 22 Latest Greatest Software Versions ........................ 22 10. FIDONEWS PUBLIC-KEY ..................................... 26 FidoNews PGP public-key listing .......................... 26 11. FIDONET BY INTERNET ..................................... 27 And more! FIDONEWS 14-44 Page 1 3 Nov 1997 ================================================================= EDITORIAL ================================================================= I seem to have screwed up Gregg's story last week when taking his 66 columns to 70. Sorry about that, Gregg. I made sure continuity remained when converting this week's from 66 to 70. You might just set your w/p to 70 and avoid future reformatting. [grin] I apologize for the late compilation of this week's Issue. It was my mother's birthday and all my LD lines were out for some odd reason. We had a tornado up the road yesterday and it may have taken out part of the trunks or the local switching. I always run polls to several Nodes before doing the FidoNews in case there are any last minute submissions or messages so it took awhile to get through. Who won the World Series? Oh, yeah, those redoubtable FLorida Marlins! Remember you heard it here first! Is it too soon to call the teams for the SuperBowl? Jacksonville Jaguars versus Dallas Cowboys? Maybe even those Detroit Lions will sneak in. [snicker] Nothing new otherwise. C.B. ----------------------------------------------------------------- FIDONEWS 14-44 Page 2 3 Nov 1997 ================================================================= LETTERS TO THE EDITOR ================================================================= --- Following message extracted from NETMAIL @ 1:18/14 --- By Christopher Baker on Fri Oct 31 13:45:02 1997 From: Michail Verner @ 2:332/201 To: Christopher Baker @ 1:18/14 Date: 27 Oct 97 00:04:02 Subj: Fidonews Hi, Christopher I am searching in various BBSes near my home, but I cannot find FidoNews. I was a user of Ge-Link (2:332/243) BBS, now gone :-(, can you help me to find the recent issues of your newsletter on another BBS? I'm not point, and I'm not able to do any FReq at all. Many Hopeful Thanks :-)))) |\./| Priviet ! _ | | |/| |_|_| |-|. -30- ----------------------------------------------------------------- I messed up! by Gregg Jennings, 1:331/109 Dear FidoEditor; My piece, A BBS Story, was published in the last issue. Beyond the "role reversal" of the two characters midway in the story (blame is on Samuel Adams* Gregg, that's what I'd do), the story got wordwrapped by your software. Usually I read the instructions. I kept the right margin at less than 70 (I used 66 for some bizarre reason...), but your software reformatted the lines, even merging a couple of lines. Just wanted to point that out (trying to save some face you see). (That was a lame attempt to draw attention away from me. Blame it on the Editor! Just kidding of course.) MY APOLOGIES to the good FidoPeople for making such a dumb mistake in my story, re: the two guys suddenly taking up opposite roles. Hopefully, if there was any point to the story it was not lost. (I don't feel too dumb... At least not enough to not ever submit an article again. You all have been warned!) FIDONEWS 14-44 Page 3 3 Nov 1997 * (footnote) "Samuel Adams" is a brand of beer, very good by the way. I don't know how widely marketed it is, hence this footnote. ----------------------------------------------------------------- FIDONEWS 14-44 Page 4 3 Nov 1997 ================================================================= ARTICLES ================================================================= ================== VOTING PROCEDURE FTSC ADMINISTRATOR ================== by Adrian Walker, 1:153/752 28 October 1997 Interim FTSC Web Site: http://www.portal.ca/~awalker/ftsc.htm VOTE REQUIREMENTS ================= Fidonews 1441 detailed the nomination process for the position of FTSC Administrator. Nominations have now closed, and 2 eligible candidates are standing for election. FTA-1001 provides for the following voting process for the FTSC Administrator: === Cut === The FTSC Administrator is appointed on the basis of a vote by all Standing Members who are defined by the then-current edition of FTA-0003 (FTSC Membership List). A successful candidate must receive approval by at least a plurality of votes. Publication of the nominations and the voting procedure shall take place openly in the FTSC_PUBLIC echo, and voting shall close three weeks after publication of the vote. Votes shall be by netmail ballot to an independent enumerator. Plurality: more votes than any other candidate, but less than a majority. === Cut === VOTING PROCEDURE ================ FTSC Standing Members, and therefore eligible to vote, are as shown in FTA-1003, dated 05 October 1997, namely: --------------------------------------------------------------------- NAME NODE NUMBER APPOINTMENT EXPIRY --------------------------------------------------------------------- 1 Bash, Richard 1:231/45 01 Oct 1999 2 Bemis, Ron 1:124/1113 01 Oct 1999 3 Bilow, Mike 1:323/107 01 Oct 2000 4 Box, Craig 3:774/950 01 Oct 2000 5 Burchhardt, Tobias 2:2448/400 01 Oct 2000 6 Eriksson, Goran 2:201/505 01 Oct 1999 7 Felten, Bjorn 2:203/208 01 Oct 1999 8 Frezberg, Zorch 1:205/0 01 Oct 1999 FIDONEWS 14-44 Page 5 3 Nov 1997 9 Homrighausen, Joaquim 2:201/330 01 Oct 2000 10 Johansen, Rune 2:210/20 01 Oct 2000 11 Karlsson, Peter 2:206/221 01 Oct 1999 12 Klein, Andreas 2:2480/47 01 Oct 2000 13 McCabe, Michael 1:297/11 01 Oct 1999 14 Price, Gary 1:3607/26 01 Oct 1999 15 Sanz, Carlos Fernandez 2:341/70 01 Oct 2000 16 Schlangen, Tom 2:2450/10 01 Oct 2000 17 Schollnick, Benjamin 1:2613/477 01 Oct 2000 18 Sorensen, Odinn 2:236/77 01 Oct 2000 19 Steck, Jason 1:285/424 01 Oct 1999 20 Szarka, Robert 1:320/42 01 Oct 2000 21 Thunus, Francois 2:270/25 01 Oct 1999 22 Turner, Colin 2:443/13 01 Oct 1999 23 Waldmann, Thomas 2:2474/400 01 Oct 2000 24 Wallin, Mats 2:201/329 01 Oct 2000 Voting commences at 0000 UTC on Saturday 01 November 1997 and closes at 2359 UTC on Friday 22 November 1997, or upon the receipt of all 24 votes, whichever is the earlier. Each FTSC Standing Member ballot is to be sent to the independent enumerator, Ken Tuley, either via: * netmail to Ken Tuley at at 1:374/98 or 1:18/0 or * Internet email to ken.tuley@scam.mpcs.com Receipt of votes will be acknowledged by return routed netmail or email as applicable. Ballots should include a password. The ballot format is given below. Votes shall be cast as an "X" or other clear alphabetic character for one of the 2 candidates. A ballot with a mark beside both names, or with no mark beside any name, will be discounted. APPOINTMENT =========== More votes than the other candidate is required for that person to be appointed as the FTSC Administrator. No votes or summaries of votes shall be posted prior to the conclusion of voting. Within 3 days after the conclusion of voting, the FTSC Standing Member votes shall be posted in the FTSC_PUBLIC echo. For each vote cast, only the password and the result for each vote will be posted. The identity of the voter shall not be shown. +-------------------------------------------------------------------+ | BALLOT - FTSC ADMINISTRATOR ELECTION, 1997 | | | | VOTER'S NAME _______________________________ | | | | FIDONET NODE NUMBER _______________________ | | | | PASSWORD _______________________________ | FIDONEWS 14-44 Page 6 3 Nov 1997 | | | Please indicate your vote for one of the following candidates | | with an "X" in the square provided beside the candidate of your | | choice. | | | | There are 2 names, so only 1 "X" may be entered. Names are given | | in alphabetical order sorted by surname. | | | | "I wish this person to be the FTSC Administrator" | +------+------------------------------------------------------------+ | VOTE | NAME NODE # | +------+------------------------------------------------------------+ | | Craig Box 3:774/950 | +------+------------------------------------------------------------+ | | Odinn Sorensen 2:236/77 | +------+------------------------------------------------------------+ ----------------------------------------------------------------- Bulletin Boards are online world's good old days >by< Mark Stachiew, Fidonet = 1:167/312, MTLnet = 17:514/846, Sysop of, The BBS at the End of the Universe [ The following is a fine article that appeared in the October 29, 1997, issue of the Montreal Gazette. Forwarded to Fidonews by permission of the author. ] "Thanks to everyone who helped with my BBS article. Let's hope it helps the hobby. Every little bit helps. " -- Mark Stachiew, The Gazette ------------------------------------------------------------------- Back in the Stone Age of computers, before Bill Gates had made his first million and the Internet had yet to see its first "spam" message, computer users talked with each other via Bulletin Board Systems (BBSes). While the World Wide Web has taken a bite out of the number of BBSes, they never really went away and now the old-timers who still use them are banding together to tell cyberspace newcomers what they're missing. A BBS is basically a computer sitting in someone's home running software which allows it to answer incoming calls. Other computer users call the BBS to exchange messages, play games and download computer programs. It really is an electronic bulletin board. They are usually free to call since the system is being run as a hobby by someone who is donating time and computer. No fancy browsers or hardware are required. The lowliest computer with a modem and terminal program will be enough to connect to a BBS. Longtime users of BBSes remain nostalgic about the early days of the FIDONEWS 14-44 Page 7 3 Nov 1997 1980s when the first home computers gave birth to the first fledgling bulletin boards. In those days BBS callers used glacially-slow 300 baud modems with acoustic couplers that had to be fit over telephone handsets and looked like rubber earmuffs. They endured these hardships because of the magic that BBSes created. It was a new form of communication which allowed people to make contact with total strangers which sometimes developed into lifelong friendships. Lynda McCormick knows all about how BBSes bring people together. She runs one of the oldest ones in Montreal. McBBS has been in continuous operation since 1984 and people who called on the first day are still calling 13 years later. "Some of the old-time users will still call in long distance when they've moved away," she says. "Not on a regular basis, but it's fantastic to hear from them and hear how life is treating them now in Toronto, London, Ontario, Seattle, or L.A." McCormick is still enthusiastic about BBSing and is creating an online BBSing Museum with electronic ephemera from BBSes which have long since vanished into the ether. "The BBS scene in Montreal has been a very rich one with many characters, personalities and a few very hilarious stories," she says. "I for one would like to see it preserved and cherished as it should be, and not simply swept away and forgotten." One local BBS operator, Steve Monteith, has maintained a list of Montreal bulletin boards (www.vir.com/~capt_xerox/bbslist.html) for nearly 12 years. Looking over archives of the list demonstrate how much damage the Web has done to BBSing in this city. In 1989, Montreal boasted 175 computer bulletin boards. That number grew steadily, peaking at 482 in 1995 which is about the time that the Web began to blossom. Since then the number of BBSes has plummeted to 221. At that rate of decline they could be extinct in two years. So do BBSes have a future? The people who still use them think so. They persist because they create a sense of community among their users and because callers usually live in the same town, so they are able to get together offline where friendships are formed. That can be difficult on the Internet where you could be exchanging E-mail with someone in Zimbabwe or Kuala Lumpur. Monteith notes a few other advantages of the local BBS over the Internet. You won't get unwanted E-mail (spam) and BBSes are rarely commercial. "You can read through whole message bases, and not see an advertisement and you can be quite sure that your name on a BBS isn't going to be sold to some mailing list." An international grass-roots organization has sprung up to spread the word about BBSes. The Council for Online Community Alternatives(http:/ /coca.home.ml.org) aims to promote BBSes as an alternative to the Internet and to build awareness among computer users that BBSes are available in their communities. They maintain that in recent years millions of people have rushed out to buy computers thinking their only online alternative was the Internet, oblivious to the existence of local BBSes. COCA likes to point out some of the advantages of BBSes. For example, FIDONEWS 14-44 Page 8 3 Nov 1997 at peak times the busy Internet can slow to a crawl. That isn't a problem on a BBS since there is usually only one user connected at a time so your new fast modem will actually work at full speed. Unlike most discussion groups on the Internet, the ones on BBSes are usually moderated and ill-tempered "flame" wars are less common. And pornography is much rarer on BBSes. BBSes are becoming more sophisticated. Many local BBSes now offer Internet E-mail and access to select Usenet newsgroups. Some have lots of downloadable files while others use flashy terminal programs which give them a graphical interface which is almost as easy to use as a Web browser. Some bulletin boards are even directly accessible over the Web, usually via telnet. You can find a list of other Internet BBSes at http://dkeep.com/sbi.html . Other BBS resources on the Web: BBS FAQ www.sysopworld.com/bbsfaq/text/faqmain.htm Directory of North American BBSes www.thedirectory.org/areacode.htm BBSes on the Internet www.digitalis.net/~messer/bbs/ The World of BBSing www-scf.usc.edu/~thuyenqu/bbsing.htm Here are some Montreal BBSes to call: Juxtaposition BBS (Home of the Montreal BBS list) (514) 364-2937 The BBS at the End of the Universe (For science-fiction fans) (514) 421-0673 Coder's Pixel (For programmers) (514) 624-5900 McBBS (For general conversation) (514) 697-7184 ----------------------------------------------------------------- FIDONEWS 14-44 Page 9 3 Nov 1997 ================================================================= COLUMNS ================================================================= Fidonet in Europe ----------------- by Dave Meikle (2:258/69.2 , rebeljambo@unforgettable.com) I'd like to Start With a question from a Vladimir Gaitanoff from Russia. The question is What software does he need to FREQ via the Internet? I don't know so if anyone can help netmail or eMail the answer to me or Vladimir on vg@divo.ru . Secondly Astrowars has got a new address which is: Astrowar@2:258/69.69 . Here is the astrowar rules and info: What is AstroWar? AstroWar is a play-by-email game of space conquest. What's so special about this particular game? From the player's view, it's simple and fun. From the game moderator or sysop's view, it's fully automatic, adaptable, expandable, portable and free! Bear with me while I justify some of these claims... It's simple: The rules and construction of this game are as simple as I could make them. There is just one type of planet, and one type of ship. Each planet just has a single statistic: production, which decides how many ships it produces each turn. Ships are just single faceless, nameless units which are used in greater or lesser numbers in order to overwhelm, hold back or discourage an enemy. It's fun: How can I justify this? Well, I can't really since it's just my opinion, but most of the players in the beta test games find it quite entertaining. Its simplicity means that you won't spend much time learning the rules, and you'll be playing properly and developing your strategies almost immediately. It's hardly worth setting up a practice game. Playing the Game Getting Started AstroWar is a simple game of space conquest, usually played by email. The simplicity of the rules mean that the time taken to learn the game is extremely short. However, it may take just as long to develop a winning strategy as it does for more complex games. Let's take a look at the game rules before we go into details of how to play. The map consists of a number of planets spread across a galactic map. The number of planets and the size of the map are defined by the person running the game. FIDONEWS 14-44 Page 10 3 Nov 1997 There is only one type of planet, although each planet has a production rating. This production rating reflects the number of ships that planet produces each turn, when it is owned by a player. Neutral planets do not produce any ships. Ships are not treated individually in AstroWar. There is only one type of ship, the variation being in the number of ships you send to the planets you are attacking. Ships are sent in fleets of one or more ships, and each fleet's mission is decided by the number of ships sent, and the ownership of the planet the ships are being sent to. Part of the game's attraction lies in the high level of secrecy. In some games, you can see the entire map when you start the game, and sometimes you can see where other empires are. Some games are very open, and allow you to see as much detail about other players' empires as those players can see. This is not the case with AstroWar. When you start playing AstroWar, you only see full details of your homeworld, and the positions of nearby planets. To get more information, you must scout the planets you can see, and you must start to expand before you see planets further away. But I'm getting ahead of myself here, for before any of this becomes apparent you must first join a game. In order to join a game, you must submit a 'join' request. With this join request you give a name which will be used to identify your empire. Your empire name can be up to 15 characters long. Upon successfully joining a game, you will receive confirmation that your request to join has been accepted. With this you will be given the name of your homeworld, that homeworld's details, and a map of nearby planets to get you started. Note that homeworld planets always have a production of 15 ships per turn. There are a few cases in which a join request might fail. Firstly, you might choose an empire name which is already in use. This is unlikely, but possible. Another case in which a request to join might be rejected is when the game is full, i.e. there are no planets which have not already been scouted or taken. In the former case, just try to join again, with a different name. In the latter case there's nothing you can do, except wait for the game to finish and re-start, or find another game. Scouting, Conquering and Redeployment The first thing you will want to do when you start a new game is scout one or more of the planets which were shown on your first map. To scout a planet, simply send a single ship to it. When the ship arrives, you will receive details about the production and ownership of that planet, along with the number of ships currently in orbit. The scout ship will then turn around and begin the return journey. FIDONEWS 14-44 Page 11 3 Nov 1997 Once you have received details about some of the nearby planets, you should start making your attacks. A fleet of 2 or more ships sent to a neutral or enemy planet constitutes and attack force. Generally, you should send more ships than are already in orbit around a planet if you wish to take it. However, you can send your attacks in two or more 'waves' if you don't have enough ships to take the planet straight away. The first arrivals will reduce the enemy's numbers, so that the later fleets have an easier job of taking the planet. If a fleet takes a planet, it is disbanded, and the ships take up orbit around the planet. You can start making attacks before you scout, but this is not always a good idea, particularly if you are joining a game which has already been running for a number of turns. For all you know, an attack fleet sent out 'blind' might be travelling towards a planet belonging to a relatively powerful empire, and this is not a good way to gain allies. Once you have more than one planet, you may want to start redistributing your forces, for more effective attacks or defense. Sending any number of ships from one of your planets to another is a normal fleet movement. When the fleet arrives, it will be disbanded and the ships will join those in orbit around the planet. -A Note About Fleet Movements--------------------------------- A fleet does not start to move towards its destination until the turn after it is launched. So, for instance, if you launch a fleet from one planet to a planet four squares away, it will still be four squares away on its first turn; only in the next turn will it start to move. -------------------------------------------------------------- Requesting Details About Your Empire Although the reports you receive from scouting, attacking and fleet movements tell you everything you need to know about your planets, there are times when you will want reminding about various aspects of your empire. There are a couple of reports which you can request from AstroWar, whenever you need them. The planet list contains a list of all your planets, together with a reminder of the planets' positions, their production ratings and the number of ships in orbit around them. Only your own planets are included in this list; if you want up-to- date information about enemy or neutral planets you must scout them. -Turn Phases-------------------------------------------------- --There are four phases to each AstroWar turn: Fleet movement, Order processing, Ship production and Victory checking, executed in that order. Bear this order in mind when submitting orders; for example, a planet report (a response to a 'planet list' order) will not take into FIDONEWS 14-44 Page 12 3 Nov 1997 account the ship production which comes later in that turn. -------------------------------------------------------------- The fleet list contains a list of all your fleets, with a reminder of their planets of origin and their destinations. The list also contains the number of ships in the fleets, and their distances from their objectives. You can use the distance figure to work out how long it will be before a fleet arrives. As your empire expands, you will want to be able to see more of the map. This information isn't given to you automatically, you must request it using the map order. When you submit a map order, you must give the name of a planet around which the map will be centred. You can only centre a map around a planet you own, so in order to begin mapping the entire galaxy you must start expanding your empire. The Message System In order that you can communicate with other empires, to form alliances, make threats or gloat over victories, there is a message system which passes free-form messages between players. To write to another empire, simply submit a 'write' order, along with the name of the empire you wish to send to, and the text of the message. Next turn, that empire will receive that message with the your empire name identified as the writer (in order that he or she can reply). It is also possible to write a general announcement to all empires. This is not always a good idea. Usually your empire will be unknown to others until they see your planets, or receive a message from you. Secrecy itself may often be a useful weapon, but writing a message to all will immediately reveal your existence to everyone else in the game. Later on in the game, if your empire becomes powerful, you could perhaps use this facility as a propaganda tool. Finally, it is also possible to write messages to the system, and receive messages from the system. Although this has no use in the standard game, it is there as a way of communicating with add-ons. Add-ons can scan for messages to the system and interpret their contents as extended orders to access features in that add-on. Similarly, replies or information generated by add-ons will be addressed as coming from 'the system'. Winning the Game The standard victory conditions dictate that the empire who owns everybody else's homeworlds wins the game. This is a change from the usual condition of conquering all of everyone else's planets, since that condition usually results in a FIDONEWS 14-44 Page 13 3 Nov 1997 tedious end game where the eventual victor has to mop up the remains of defeated empires. One problem is that enemy homeworlds are not identified. You can assume that, in a normal game, all the homeworlds will have a production of 15 ships per turn. However, not all planets with this production are homeworlds. You just have to hunt out all the non-neutral planets with 15 production until you are awarded victory. When victory is awarded to a player, a report is sent out to everyone saying who the winner is. However, the game must be manually stopped and restarted by the person running the game, so it is possible that a few turns may go by with the 'victory' message being sent out. It is quite possible that victory conditions in a game have been disabled, making it 'open-ended'. This means that the game will continue indefinitely. Our Games is Open-Ended. Resigning Your Position Once your position has become unworkable, or you want to quit the game for some other reason like lack of time, there is a 'resign' command you can use. Resigning from a game will cause all your planets to revert to neutral status, and will make all in-transit fleets wink out of existence. If you are going to have to stop playing a game, it's polite to resign properly. If you just let your fleets build up uselessly, it will get in the way of legitimate players and ruin their enjoyment of the game. Orders This section gives a list of orders understood by the order processing phase of turn processing. To send an order send a netmail TO: Astrowar@2:258/69.69 with the SUBJECT:GAME1 and in the main body type one off the commands: join A join order, or join request, asking that a player be added to the game with the empire name . send A send order. Orders a launch of ships from planet to planet , where is owned by this empire and there are at least ships in orbit. planets Requests a list of the planets owned by this empire. fleets Requests a list of fleets belonging to this empire. map Requests a map of the area around FIDONEWS 14-44 Page 14 3 Nov 1997 , showing the names and positions of all planets within 7 squares of this centre planet. write Write a message to empire , containing the text . may be an empire name, All ("*") or The System (""), and may be up to 64k of text spread across multiple lines. resign Requests that this empire is removed from the game. All planets revert to neutral ownership (with ships in orbit remaining), and all fleets will magically disappear. Dave ----------------------------------------------------------------- FIDONEWS 14-44 Page 15 3 Nov 1997 ================================================================= COORDINATORS CORNER ================================================================= North American Backbone Echo Changes [Sep-Oct] by Lisa Gronke, 1:105/16 lisa@psg.com Summary of backbone & quasi-backbone echo changes during Sep & Oct. Brought to you courtesy of (unix) diff. diff (backbone.na + backbone.no) 07-Sep-97 02-Nov-97 [edited]. Added to the backbone --------------------- > BEACH_BOYS Fans of the Beach Boys & their music > CABLE_MODEMS Cable_Modems > CARPENTERS Fans of Karen & Richard Carpenter & their music > FTN_INTERNET FTN Internet Discussion > HAM-ECHO Open discussion of Ham/Amateur Radio general > interest. > IPMAILER IPMAILER > JUNO The JUNO e-mail service > LORD2_CHAT LORD 2 Discussion Conference > LORD2_IGM LORD 2 IGM Discussion Conference > LORD2_SYSOP LORD 2 Discussion Conference > MOSCOW_OKLAHOMA LINK BETWEEN The States and Moscow! > PRO_WRESTLING PROFESSIONAL WRESTLING ECHO. > TRIUS TRIUS, Inc. Product Support and Information Echo > Z1C Zone 1 Coordinator Contact Conference Removed from the backbone or quasi-backbone ------------------------------------------- < AIDS.DATA (not in EchoList since 9/1/97) < ECOLOGY Ecology - Discussion of problems and solutions. < EMERG_NOTIFY (not in EchoList since 9/1/97) < LORE (low traffic since 7/1/97) < MEMPHIS (low traffic since 8/1/97) < MS_WORD Microsoft Word < MUSICIAN (low traffic since 7/1/97) < OFFICE97 (low traffic since 8/1/97) < QUICKPRO QuickBBS Professional Sysop's Forum < SIM Simulation & Wargaming < SINGLE_MOMS Forum for Single Mothers < WARNING (low traffic since 7/1/97) ----------------------------------------------------------------- o There are 679 echos in backbone.na [02-Nov-97] (down 16) o There are 98 echos in backbone.no [02-Nov-97] (up 18) o for a total of 777 backbone & quasi-backbone echos (up 2) ----------------------------------------------------------------- FIDONEWS 14-44 Page 16 3 Nov 1997 ================================================================= NET HUMOR ================================================================= From: "Mike Riddle" To: "Baker, Christopher" Date: Tue, 21 Oct 97 13:32:35 -0600 Reply-To: "Mike Riddle" Subject: Fwd: Diary of an AOL user ==================BEGIN FORWARDED MESSAGE================== From: bresch@cennet.mc.peachnet.edu (Bob Resch) Subject: Diary of an AOL user Sender: owner-geeks@brickbat12.mindspring.com Reply-To: geeks@shorty.com Diary of an AOL user July 18 - I just tried to connect to America Online. I've heard it is the best online service I can get. They even included a free disk! I'd better hold onto it in case they don't ever send me another one! I can't connect. I don't know what is wrong. July 19 - Some guy at the tech support center says my computer needs a modem. I don't see why. He's just trying to cheat me. How dumb does he think I am? July 22 - I bought the modem. I couldn't figure out where it goes. It wouldn't fit in the monitor or the printer. I'm confused. July 23 - I finally got the modem in and hooked it up. That nine year old next door did it for me. But it still won't work. I can't get online. July 25 - That nine year old kid next door hooked me up to America Online. He's so smart. I told the kid he was a prodigy. But he says that's just another service. What a modest kid. He's so smart and he does these services for people. Anyway he's smarter than the jerks who sold me the modem. They didn't even tell me about communications software. Bet they didn't know. And why do they put two telephone jack holes in the back of a modem when you only need one? And why do they have one labeled phone when you are not suppose to hook it to the phone jack on the wall? I thought the dial tone sounded funny! Boy, are modem makers dumb! But the kid figured it out by the sound. July 26 - What's the internet? I thought I was on America Online. Not this internet thing. I'm confused. July 27 - The nine year old kid next door showed me how to use this America Online stuff. I told him he must be a genius. He says that he is compared to me. Maybe he's not so modest after all. July 28 - I tried to use chat today. I tried to talk into my computer but nothing happened. Maybe I need to buy a microphone. July 29 - I found this thing called usenet. I got out of it because FIDONEWS 14-44 Page 17 3 Nov 1997 I'm connected to America Online not usenet. July 30 - These people in this usenet thing keep using capital letters. How do they do that? I never figured out how to type capital letters. Maybe they have a different type of keyboard. JULY 31 - I CALLED THE COMPUTER MAKER I BOUGHT IT FROM TO COMPLAIN ABOUT NOT HAVING A CAPITOL LETTER KEY. THE TECH SUPPORT GUY SAID IT WAS THIS CAPS LOCK KEY. WHY DIDN'T THEY SPELL IT OUT? I TOLD HIM I GOT A CHEAP KEYBOARD AND WANTED A BETTER ONE. AND ONE OF MY SHIFT KEYS ISN'T THE SAME SIZE AS THE OTHER. HE SAID THAT'S A STANDARD. I TOLD HIM I DIDN'T WANT A STANDARD KEYBOARD BUT ANOTHER BRAND. I MUST HAVE HAD AN IMPORTANT COMPLAINT BECAUSE I HEARD HIM TELL THE OTHER SUPPORT GUYS TO LISTEN IN ON OUR CONVERSATION. AUGUST 1 - I FOUND THIS THING CALLED THE USENET ORACLE. IT SAYS THAT IT CAN ANSWER ANY QUESTIONS I ASK IT. I SENT IT 44 SEPARATE QUESTIONS ABOUT THE INTERNET. I HOPE IT RESPONDS SOON. AUGUST 2 - I FOUND A GROUP CALLED REC.HUMOR. I DECIDED TO POST THIS JOKE ABOUT THE CHICKEN THAT CROSSED THE ROAD. TO GET TO THE OTHER SIDE! HA! HA! I WASN'T SURE I POSTED IT RIGHT SO I POSTED IT 56 MORE TIMES. AUGUST 3 - I KEEP HEARING ABOUT THE WORLD WIDE WEB. I DIDN'T KNOW SPIDERS GREW THAT LARGE. AUGUST 4 - THE ORACLE RESPONDED TO MY QUESTIONS TODAY. GEEZ IT WAS RUDE. I WAS SO ANGRY THAT I POSTED AN ANGRY MESSAGE ABOUT IT TO REC.HUMOR.ORACLE. I WASN'T SURE IF I POSTED RIGHT SO I POSTED IT 22 MORE TIMES. AUGUST 5 - SOMEONE TOLD ME TO READ THE FAQ. GEEZ THEY DIDN'T HAVE TO USE PROFANITY. AUGUST 6 - SOMEONE ELSE TOLD ME TO STOP SHOUTING IN ALL MY MESSAGES. WHAT A STUPID JERK. I'M NOT SHOUTING! I'M NOT EVEN TALKING! JUST TYPING! HOW CAN THEY LET THESE RUDE JERKS GO ON THE INTERNET? August 7 - Why have a Caps Lock key if you're not suppose to use it? Its probably an extra feature that costs more money. August 8 - I just read this post called make money fast. I'm so excited. I'm going to make lots of money. I followed his instructions and posted it to every newsgroup I could find. August 9 - I just made my signature file. Its only 6 pages long. I will have to work on it some more. August 10 - I just looked at a group called alt.AOL.sucks. I read a few posts and I really believe that AOL should be wiped off the face of the earth. I wonder what an AOL is. August 11 - I was asking where to find some information about something. Some guy told me to check out ftp.netcom.com. I've looked and looked but I can't find that group. FIDONEWS 14-44 Page 18 3 Nov 1997 August 12 - I sent a post to every usenet group on the Internet asking where the ftp.netcom.com is. Hopefully someone will help. I can't ask the kid next door. His parents said that when he comes back from my house he's laughing so hard he can't eat or sleep or do his homework. So they won't let him come over anymore. I do have a great sense of humor. I don't know why the rec.humor group didn't like my chicken joke. Maybe they only like dirty stuff. Some people sent me posts about my 56 posts of the joke and they used bad words. August 13 - I sent another post to every usenet group on the Internet asking where the ftp.netcom.com is. I had forgot yesterday to include my new signature file which is only 8 pages long. I know everyone will want to read my favorite poem so I included it. I'm also going to add that short story I like. August 14 - America Online is a local call! So, since I do not have to call long distance, I decided to just leave it on so I won't get anymore busy signals! August 24 - My computer froze up a few days ago. Since I could not choose "Shut down", I left it alone, waiting for it to unfreeze. Today my wife unplugged it so she could vacuum, and now it works! August 25 - America Online canceled my account, saying my Visa card would not accept the bill. They say the bill was for three hundred dollars. I can't figure it out? August 26 - America Online must want me to join up again, because they sent me another disk in the mail today! I will call later! [ ] | Robert R. "Bob" Resch - Network Administrator | | | Macon State College | 100 College Station Drive | M