I solemnly swear that on this April Fools' Day I will not post a fake engagement photo on MyFaceGoogleBookPlusSpace like some kind of asshole. Nor will I perpetuate a celebrity death hoax. Because that makes people sad. In fact, I will not play any practical jokes. And if I see someone planning a prank, I will say to them: “Hey, you're being a dick right now. Stop being a dick. Stop being a dick. Seriously, stop being a dick.”

Seriously, take the pledge [1]. The rest of the world will thank you for it.