“So I'm playing around with BBEdit [1]—”
“How do you do that?”
“Do what?”
“Talk with links.”
“Talk with links?”
“Talk with links. You just mentioned BBEdit and I swear—”
“Swear what?”
“That I could hear the link to the BBEdit site.”
“Maybe it's because I said BBEdit [2] with scare links [3].”
“You just did it again.”
“Will you stop?”
“That's just—”
“Stop!”
“But—”
“Shh!”
“But—”
“Shh!”
“Okay! Okay!”
“So I'm playing around with BBEdit (see, no ‘scare links’ this time).”
“And how do you like it?”
“It's growing on me.”
“Growing?”
“Growing. As in ‘I'm begining to like using it’ growing.”
“But I feel a ‘But …’ in that statement.”
“Right you are.”
“So … ”
“So what?”
“So … what's the but?”
“The part of the body you sit on.”
“Funny guy.”
“Thank you.”
“No, really, what don't you like about BBEdit?”
“The PageUp and PageDown keys.”
“The what?”
“The PageUp and PageDown keys.”
“What does the PageUp and PageDown keys have to do with BBEdit? Those on keys on the keyboard.”
“I don't like the way BBEdit handles those keys.”
“What's wrong with the way BBEdit handles those keys?”
“Well, they page the window up and down—”
“I would expect that to happen with the PageUp and PageDown keys.”
“But the cursor doesn't move.”
“So?”
“So? The cursor doesn't move!”
“Why would you want the cursor to move? When I page up, it's usually to look at something.”
“Yes, but I also use the PageUp and PageDown keys to move to the next area of a file I want to edit.”
“That's what the scroll bar and mouse are for.”
“No.”
“No?”
“No.”
“Then what are the scroll bar and mouse for?”
“I don't care about the scroll bar and mouse. When I'm editing, I want to use the keyboard exclusively.”
“You're weird.”
“I'm ‘old school.’”
“That's not ‘old school,’ that's ‘dead school.’”
“Funny guy.”
“Thank you.”
“If I didn't want the cursor to move, then I'd hit the …”
“Hit the … ?”
“Oh, never mind.”
“Never mind what?”
“The ScrollLock key.”
“The what?”
“ScrollLock.”
“Does that key do anything?”
“I just tried. Nope.”
“Tried what?”
“I thought that if I hit ScrollLock, it would ‘unlock’ the cursor so it would move when I hit PageUp and PageDown.”
“But you just said the ScrollLock doesn't do anything.”
“That's right. I just tried it. Didn't you see me?”
“No.”
“You should pay attention.”
“I am. Or trying anyway. Besides, if you use the PageUp and PageDown keys to navigate, what if you want to page up and look at something and not loose your place?”
“Then I split the window in two.”
“Show off.”
“Hey, I just want my PageUp and PageDown keys to work.”
“They work.”
“Like I want them to.”
“Oh.”
“And one more thing.”
“Yes?”
“Happy ‘Talk Like Brian Michael Bendis Day [4].’”
“What a geek.”
“Why thank you.”
[1] http://www.barebones.com/products/bbedit/
[2] http://www.barebones.com/products/bbedit/
[3] http://www.suck.com/daily/2000/03/20/1.html