I awoke screaming.
At least, it felt like I awoke screaming, but I doubt I was actually screaming because no one came rushing into the room to see if I was being attacked by a hooked-handed lunatic [1]. In fact, I think it was the dryer that was doing all the screaming—someone had forgotten to close the door to the dryer. [It just so happens that the dryer is in a closet in the master bedroom, while the washing machine is in the hall just outside the master bedroom—mostly due to space limitations in Casa New Jersey.]
Somehow I managed to close the door, pick up my cell phone, and make my way into the main part of the house, all without killing myself. I saw Spring [2], and what I wanted to say was, “Ah, my dear Spring. Would you be so kind as to call Smirk on my cell phone and inform him that I am incapacitated and unable to to travel to the office today and that I shall remain home in bed where I belong? Thanks.” What I think came out was something along the lines of “Oook. Aak. Smirk. Call. Okay.”
“Sean,” said Wlofie, “don't take this the wrong way—”
“Okay,” I said.
“But you don't look that well.”
“Okay.”
“Why don't you get back into bed,” said Spring.
“Okay,” I said.
“I'll call Smirk.”
“Okay.”
I stumbled back into the room, crashed into the bed and proceeded to have dreams of thousand legged spiders surrounding the house.
It was only later did I realize I must have nearly overdosed on a combination of Guaifenesin and Dextromethorphan [3]. Or in other words, Tussin.
Yeah, I'm a light weight when it comes to drugs [4].
I've been fighting a cold since probably Wednesday, definitely by Thursday (Thanksgiving). I had thought I pretty much licked it by last night, but there I was, at a party falling asleep admist a Bacchanalian ruckus of drinking games.
By the time I got home (and no, I didn't drive), I was tired of everything, including sleep, and I ended up staying up until I was tired enough of everything to fall asleep and around 7:30 am, I took (what turned out to be) one final dose of cough syrup and fell asleep.
Only to wake up to a screaming dryer at … some point later in the morning.
[1] http://www.uta.fi/FAST/US7/FOLK/thehook.html
[3] http://www.umm.edu/altmed/ConsDrugs/GuaifenesinandDextromethorphancd.html