Lately I've been retuning in to 88.5 WKPX [1], a radio station broadcast out of a local high school. It tends to have much better programming than commercial stations and absolutely no annoying car commercials. Then again, it has no commercials whatsoever, being publically funded. On the gripping hand, the PSA (Public Service Announcement)s do wear a bit thin, especially the ones done by the high school staff (editing people! Just tightening up the timings would do wonders!).
But hey, it's high school, and there is a wide variety of music.
So anyway, I tune into WKPX and I happend to catch the end of a “Classic Rock” show showcasing all the hits of the late 60s/70s. Brought me back to when I first heard “Hotel California” by the Eagles:
On a dark desert highway > Cool wind in my hair > Warm smell of colitas > Rising up through the air > Up ahead in the distance > I saw a shimmering light > My head grew heavy, and my sight grew dim > I had to stop for the night
As a kid, I wasn't aware of subtext, or the extended use of metaphore (you mean that the Vapors' Turning Japanese [2] isn't about overt love of Nippon? Shocking!) that is commonly used in rock songs, so here I thought, for years that Hotel California was about, you know, a haunted hotel in California. It's a common thing in America, right? Why else would Hollywood make a movie about a haunted hotel (The Shining) [3]?
There she stood in the doorway > I heard the mission bell > And I was thinking to myself > “This could be Heaven or this could be Hell.” > Then she lit up a candle > And she showed me the way > There were voices down the corridor > I thought I heard them say
As I slowly became aware of such double meanings behind words, it slowly sank into me that this song wasn't about a haunted hotel—no, when I thought about what the lyrics were implying, listening close whenever I happened to catch it on the radio (which wasn't hard as this, Stairway to Heaven, and Satisfaction was on constant rotate on the “Classic Rock” station here in Lower Sheol), I woke up and my naïve interpretation crumbled before me.
Her mind is Tiffany twisted > She's got the Mercedes bends > She's got a lot of pretty, pretty boys > That she calls friends > How they dance in the courtyard > Sweet summer sweat > Some dance to remember > Some dance to forget
Why … this is … this song … is about sex with a minor!
Mirrors on the ceiling > Pink champagne on ice > And she said > We are all just prisoners here > Of our own device
So now we have a temptress, living out her waning years at some Californian hotel, inviting in impressionable young men to keep her entertained, using them like himbos and discarding them, but only after making sure they're there of their own free will (for “plausible deniability” I'm sure of it—“Honest Officer! He said he was eighteen!”).
But in the years since, it has come to my attention that not even this interpretation is correct and that the subtext not spoken aloud yet clearly visible to anyone with an ounce of clue can see, is that it's about heroine addiction!
And in the master's chambers > They gathered for the feast > They stab it with their steely knives > But they just can't kill the beast > Last thing I remember > I was running for the door > I had to find the passage back to the place I was before > “Relax,” said the nightman > “We are programed to recieve > You can check out any time you like > But you can never leave!”
I still like the ghostly sex with a minor interpretation myself.
Although, what if one were to combine all three interpretations into a video of the song? A ghostly apparition of an older female heroine junkie that lures in young impressionable men to damn them for all eternity listening to a classic rock station playing nothing other than
Welcome to the Hotel California > Such a lovely place > Such a lovely place (background) > Such a lovely face > Plenty of room at the Hotel California > Any time of year > Any time of year (background) > You can find it here > You can find it here
[1] http://www.wkpx.freeservers.com/
[2] http://www.conman.org/asg-x/songsabt.html