I noticed that I need to update the nameservers on my Internic record and seeing how I'm still with Network Solutions [1], um … make that Verisign [2] the old method of updating my records (via email like I used to do) doesn't work for this domain (although it still works for older domains that still have SC47 listed as a contact) because I was “upgraded” to the new “easier” method of updating information.
“Yea … right. No, I believe you!”
Things are somewhat of a mess here in Condo Conner (due to the recent reorganization of the Computer Room, and the possible impending move out of Condo Conner) so I have no idea were my new account information is. No problem, the web site has a link to let people recover that information.
Good news? I get my account number.
Bad news? No password.
I go to the page requested, and I have to answer a “security” question correctly before they'll cough up my password. Security question? I thought. I don't remember what question I need to answer. There are four or five possible questions. I pick the most likely one, and nope. That isn't it. Another one. Nope. How about this one? Nope. And what about this one? Nope, and oh, by the way, your account is now locked. Please call Customer Service. Have a nice day.
It's about this time that I want to say
MAY YOU BURN IN HELL!
Me? Bitter? Nah.
So I call Customer Support. “We're ignoring customers as fast as we can. Please hold until we can ignore you too.”
Death metal version of “Girl from Impanema” played on.
“Um … um … may I … ah … help you?” Finally.
So I explained the situation. I was then told that I would be emailed a form that I would then fill out and fax back. “I don't have a fax machine,” I said. “Is there any other way this can be done?”
“Um … ah … no … um … not really,” was the reply. So I need to fill out the form that is sent to me via email …
“What format is that in?”
“Ah … um … it's um … Microsoft Word.”
“I'm sorry, I can't use that.”
“Um … ”
“I'm a Unix shop here, and I don't have Microsoft Windows.”
“Well … um … ah … you need to fax us a letter saying what you … um … need done and um … photo ID …”
“Excuse me? A photo ID?”
“Yes, ah … with the address um … listed … here.”
“And hypothetically speaking, if this is business related?”
“Um … yes … what?”
“What if this is a business account? My photo ID is not going to have my work address on it.” Well, given the way corporations are taking over, that might not be too far off, but I digress.
“Then … ah … um … you … need to fax … us a … um … letter on … company letterhead.”
“Thank you.”
MAY YOU ROT IN THE HOTTEST RING OF HELL NETSOL!
Ahem.
The tech however, did email me a text copy of the form I need to fax back. How nice.