Like most people nowadays, I get email spam almost daily. Recently I've been saving it up for the Second Annual Poetry Spam [1] but today I came across this lovely piece of email that I'm not quite sure is spam or not:
**To:** <sean@conman.org [2]> > **Subject:** Time Travelers PLEASE HELP!! ‥ > **Date:** Wed, 5 Dec 2001 09:17:29 >
If you are a time traveler or alien disguised as human and or have the technology to travel physically through time I need your help!
My life has been severely tampered with and cursed!! I have suffered tremendously and am now dying!
I need to be able to:
Travel back in time.
Rewind my life including my age.
Be able to remember what I know now so that I can prevent my life from being tampered with again after I go back.
I am in very great danger and need this immediately!
I am aware that there are many types of time travel and that humans do not do well through certain types.
I need as close to temporal reversion as possible, as safely as possible. To be able to rewind the hands of time in such a way that the universe of now will cease to exist. I know that there are some very powerful people out there with alien or government equipment capable of doing just that.
If you can help me I will pay for your teleport or trip down here, Along with hotel stay, food and all expenses. I will pay top dollar for the equipment. Proof must be provided.
Only if you have this technology and can help me please send me a (SEPARATE) email to:
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Thanks
Growing up, my friend Hoade [3] and I wanted to build a timemachine and often would talk about how to do just that. Given that at the time we were both in middle school precluded us from actually achieving that goal, since we had not the financial resources with which to start such an undertaking but even if we had, I think we would not have gone far due to our differences in thought with reguards to the 4^th dimension: I thought it was a spatial dimention while Hoade took the presuposition that it was in fact, time.
Be that as it may, I am not a time traveller. Nor am I aware of being an alien (contrary to the opinions of some of my friends) nor, as I have stated above, do I have available such technology. Which is sad since clearly this person needs the help, being cursed and all.
So, is there anyone that can help this guy?
[1] http://www.satirewire.com/features/poetry_spam/poetryintro.shtml