No. No. A thousand times, no.

“Look,” said Spring, [1] “Spam [2] sushi!” She was pointing to some pictures [3] of Spam sushi on the computer screen.

Now, I like Spam. Don't knock it until you actually try it (and thousands of Hawaians can't be wrong). And yes, I like rice (especially the white rice at the local Spanish/Mexican/Cuban restaurant down the street).

But mixed together as sushi?

“Ah, no,” I said.

“But you like Spam.”

“Yes.”

“And you like rice, right?”

“Yes.”

“So?” She sat there next to me, giving me this don't tell me you won't like this look.

“Not on your life.”

“Well, why not?”

“Because first you'll start me off with cooked Spam and rice,” I said. “And then, you'll slip in raw Spam and get me used to that. And from there I spiral downward, jonsing for the stuff, spending all my money to feed my habit and then where will we be. Out on the street! That's where!”

“So does that mean you're not buying it?”

“Not buying, not eating, not even considering it.”

[1] http://www.springdew.com/

[2] http://www.spam.com/

[3] http://dumbass.andsushi.com/2001_11_11_archive.html

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