2021/09/21 - DIY - ROOPHLOCH - Anchors for Campers

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Autobots, ROLL OUT!

So you have a camper you want to park at the edge of a precipitous cliff out in the bush. Brava, cowgirl! But a dram of prudence is worth a gallon of fertilizer, so of course we want to take care.

Here’s some nice things to have:

• Wheel chocks. Get the aluminium ones if you can. Light and quite able.
• Rocks. Get the big ones which are gnarled and grotty so they eagerly grip ground or tyre.
• Tent pitch spikes. The big sturdy ones half an inch thick, not the bendy cheapo ones for kiddies’ holiday garden romps.
• Rope. You have rope eh? Natch.
• A pick-mattock. Like any prepared person, you also have one of these chucked in the ute, I warrant.
• A hitch mounted 12 volt winch. Just in case!

You see where we’re going with this. Or rather, where we hope to NOT go with this.

1. Park. Do not remove the caravan camper from the hitch. Feel how windy it is? Yes, respect that. Also respect that no matter how level the ground looks to you, the camper may have other notions.

Chock the wheels. Say please and thanks to the land as your people hopefully do. Now carefully use a pick to dislodge dirt and regolith from around and under the tyres. Easy stages, just try to level it out, delve a good 2-3 inches. Yes, Imperial inches. Use them, love them. Pile said dirt fore and aft of the chocks.

If you do this correctly, the tyres will settle into a shallow depression, with the chocks gone antigogglin, wedged firmly by the tyres against the wee mounds. This likely will do.

Let’s say you’ve been quite adventurous and the cliff makes you nervous at night. The gale’s ablowin’. You felt an earthquake. That’s jake; listen to your twisty guts. Find some big rocks and lean those fore and aft of the wedge chocks. Anticipate any bounces, which way the tyres might roll. Secure the back ends of the rocks to a well hammered stake or three using some good rope. Position the stakes so that if by some oddity the camper did roll out, the rocks would slide over the stakes. Do a cat’s cradle about the tyre if need be.

Now, when happy when you can lay abed without worrying over it, go out and unhitch the wagon. The front leg may reposition a nudge. That is copacetic. If you’re extry paranoid, and these days why not be?, dig a divot for the front leg as you did the tyres, using the pick-mattock.

Finally, enjoy your hazardous location.

Not enough?

Perhaps the ground is truly at a cant. Perhaps you are just that nervous and need comfort. Very well. Secure with rope the bow to a tree.

If you have a winch, and no tree, one very handy gizmo to have on hand is called an earth anchor. It is as it says, a cruel looking claw which, when tugged towards the back, will paw its teeth deep into the ground. Poor Earth! But it might save you hassle in all sorts of situations, as it is meant to take good weight. Do give them a gander.

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