Narcissism and Masochism: The Narcissistic-Masochistic Character Part 2

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created by theconstellinguist on 31/01/2025 at 07:50 UTC*

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Narcissism and Masochism: The Narcissistic-Masochistic Character Part 2

• *Citation**: Cooper, A. M. (1989). Narcissism and masochism: the narcissistic-masochistic character. *Psychiatric Clinics*, *12*(3), 541-552.

• *Link:** https://www.psych.theclinics.com/article/S0193-953X(18)30413-1/abstract[1][2]

1: https://www.psych.theclinics.com/article/S0193-953X(18)30413-1/abstract

2: https://www.psych.theclinics.com/article/S0193-953X(18)30413-1/abstract

• *Full disclaimer on the unwanted presence of AI codependency cathartics/ AI inferiorists as a particularly aggressive and disturbed subsection of the narcissist population:** **https://narcissismresearch.miraheze.org/wiki/AIReactiveCodependencyRageDisclaimer[3]**[4]

3: https://narcissismresearch.miraheze.org/wiki/AIReactiveCodependencyRageDisclaimer

4: https://narcissismresearch.miraheze.org/wiki/AIReactiveCodependencyRageDisclaimer

• *Narcissism and Masochism: The Narcissistic-Masochistic Character Part 2**

• *Negative aspects of the narcissist's self are projected onto others, leading to a hostile, devaluating attitude towards others.**

1. Rather, it represents the defensive con- struction of a pathologic grandiose self consisting of a conglomeration of one-sidedly positive aspects of self and object and superego, with the negative aspects of self projected onto others, thus leading to a hostile, devaluating attitude toward others. This pathologic self structure prob- ably arises under childhood conditions of absence of adequate warmth and approval and excessive idealization

• *Narcissists tend not to be very masochistic, but sometimes they can be interlinked, especially when the narcissist can’t control ongoing narcissistic injury. They begin to convince themselves they liked it or wanted it, and to develop a masochism to fit this attempt to remain ego syntonic, as in narcissistic control of their environments.**

1. What I wish to convey by that title is the idea that masochistic (that is, pain-dependent) and narcissistic fea- tures are always intimately intertwined in these patients, and it is useful theoretically and vital clinically to keep this linkage in the forefront of our thinking.

• *An oscillation was seen between narcissistic enraged depression and masochistic depression.**

1. The wife was at first apologetic, pointing out that she had already said she was sorry that morning, but when that had no effect in calming him, she herself became increasingly enraged and distant and told him that if he felt as he said, they could call it all off right there, and she left the room and refused to speak further. At that moment, his rage and pride collapsed, and he found himself fearful, depressed, willing to do anything to appease her. This pattern of oscillating narcissistic enraged entitlement and masochistic passive depression was characteristic of his moods. The episode is trivial in itself, but there are several things I would like to emphasize about it.

• *The narcissist may not even be aware of his narcissistic injury, with his days colored by depression, humiliation and helplessness.**

1. First**,** this was only one event in an endless series of events in which this man was able to come away with feelings of hurt, depression, humiliation, and helplessness. The sense of injus- tice provided a major color to the pattern of his life. Second, he was not consciously aware that he had been injured until his wife called him to apologize.

• *When his wife showed a reacting anger, he showed signs of masochistic gratification, like he liked or enjoyed the narcissistic injury of being pushed back on in his act of narcissism.**

1. Rather, he continued his offensive to the point where, finally, his wife reacted with her own anger, and then he felt weak, frightened, defeated and depressed; one might say he was narcissistically mortified and masochistically gratified.

• *Repeat experiences of unavoidable frustration leads to inexpressible impounded rage. At that point the narcissist may begin to libidinize, to show a disturbing sexualization and a disturbing sugar-coating of reality. This is the attempt to “extract some pleasure from his unpleasurable loss of omnipotent control” which is infant-like in its absolute need for omnipotence well (and from a developmental perspective, inappropriately) into the adult years.**

• *When the narcissist clearly is faced with obvious signs he does not have omnipotent control, he may try to bend the narrative to absurd or horrific positions to make it seem like it was his decision, or he may claim he wanted the failure and to simmer in masochistic pleasure to retain the narcissistic feeling of omnipotence.**

1. Finally, in this scenario, as the helpless child experiences re- peated instances of unavoidable frustration, compounded by the anxi- ety aroused by his anger at beloved and needed parents and by the painful state of inexpressible impounded rage, he is driven to seek a compromise that will permit him to accept and perceive the object, while retaining some portion of his omnipotence and self-esteem. He does this by learning, through fantasy, to “sugar-coat,” or, if you prefer, to “libidinize,” his disappointments. For the sake of the contin- uing illusion of omnipotent control of himself and the differentiating object, the child learns to extract some pleasure from his unpleasurable loss of omnipotent control. In effect, he says to himself, “No one frustrated me against my wishes; I ordered the frustration myself be- cause I like it. If I cannot get what I originally wanted, I will learn to like what I got and will disappoint myself by myself.” In this theory of the anlage of masochism, it is inevitable that every individual develops a capacity for extracting pleasure from displeasure as the price for retaining narcissistic satisfaction, and in instances of severe early nar- cissistic frustration this may become the preferred mode of pleasure.

• *Even just the mention of masochistic tendencies; enjoying disappointment, simmering in feelings of betrayal and putting oneself in their path with a narcissistic “injustice collecting pleasure”, and the provocation of defeats, they are nevertheless sources of narcissistic injury because they highlight a certain aberrant and abnormal masochism that delineates him from the majority that find this disturbing, dangerous to be around due to its skewness aimed at losing or at least controlling the experience of losing, and clearly identifiable in its abnormality and dangerous defeat-proneness.**

• *It is also increasingly bizarre to witness real “injustice collecting” and is dangerous to be tied up in the identification of “self” of this self-harming individual who pretends and sometimes does actually enjoy it. It** **is very important to not be under that kind of leadership and to draw clear boundaries that they are very much not them.**

• *Once this narcissistic injury passes, which is attempted to be a source of pleasure through the attempt to convince oneself of the masochistic control of it upon the loss of omnipotence, immediately an infantile denigration and rage, smashing and punching type energy follows, similar to very early stages of development no longer appropriate for the adult years.**

1. When- ever masochistic tendencies —the savoring of disappointment, the pre- cipitation of injustices, the provocation of defeats — are pointed out, the patient will, to varying degree, experience these insights as sources of narcissistic injury, stemming from the therapist. In other words, interpretation of narcissistic traits will tend to provoke masochistic feelings of malicious injury and passive defeat. Interpretation of maso- chistic traits will lead to narcissistic defenses of denigration and rage

• *The tendencies of narcissism, these being tendencies that are antisocial and knowledgeably so, are a means and method of achieving masochistic disappointment.**

1. In this condition, pathologic narcissistic tendencies are unconscious vehicles for attaining masochistic disappointment; and ma- sochistic injuries are an a8irmation of distorted narcissistic fantasies.

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