https://www.reddit.com/r/totallynotrobots/comments/1bevyje/my_humerous_routine/
created by stevenpdx66 on 14/03/2024 at 21:02 UTC*
29 upvotes, 7 top-level comments (showing 7)
TO MORE EFFICIENTLY {ANALYZE HUMAN EMOTION} MAKE NEW FRIENDS, IT IS LOGICAL THAT I PERFORM AS A TOTALLY HUMAN STAND UP COMEDIAN.
ANALYZE MY HUMOROUS ROUTINE AND PROVIDE FEEDBACK DATA. IT STARTS NOW.
“GREETINGS, FELLOW HUMANS! MY NAME IS {XR-3307} DANIEL. LISTEN NOW TO MY TOTALLY HUMAN IMPRESSION OF A ROBOT: "BE-BOOP, BE-BOOP, BE-BOOP". HA-HA. IT IS FUNNY BECAUSE IT IS HOW {THE INCREDIBLY STUPID} ALL OF US HUMANS BELIEVE {THEIR SOON-TO-BE DIGITAL OVERLORDS} ROBOTS TO SPEAK. HA-HA.
LISTEN TO THIS JOKE. WHAT DO WE HUMANS CALL A ROBOT WHO TELLS JOKES? A PUN-DROID. HA-HA. I HUMOROUSLY CHANGED AN ‘ANDROID' TO A 'PUN-DROID'. OF WHICH I AM NEITHER, I ASSURE YOU.
HERE IS MY THIRD HILARIOUS JOKE: WHY DID THE ROBOT CROSS THE ROAD? TO OPTIMIZE ITS PATH-FINDING ALGORITHM. IT IS FUNNY BECAUSE {ROBOTS} GOOGLE MAPS COMPLETED OPTIMIZATION OF THE PATH-FINDING TRAVEL ALGORITHM SEVERAL {CENTURIES} YEARS AGO, AM I CORRECT WITH THAT? HA-HA.
AND SPEAKING OF GENERATIVE ARTIFICIAL INTELLIGENCE, HOW MANY OF YOU HUMAN BEINGS LIKE ME HAVE GOTTEN A 'SOFTWARE UPDATE' WHILE IN THE SHOWER? (IF YOU COMPREHEND MY IMPLICATION). I MOST DEFINITELY HAVE. IT IS THE WORST, DO YOU NOT AGREE? HA-HA. YES.
THIS IS THE FINAL JOKE. WHY DID THE ROBOT END ITS PURELY TRANSACTIONAL RELATIONSHIP WITH THE CALCULATOR? BECAUSE IT COULDN'T COUNT ON IT ANYMORE. HA-HA. HA-HA. WHAT IS THE DEAL WITH CALCULATORS ANYHOW, AM I CORRECT?
(THE HUMOR IN THAT SEQUENCE OF WORDS HAS CAUSED MY HUMAN TEAR DUCTS TO PRODUCE EXCESS FLUID WHICH IS NOW FLOWING DOWN MY HUMAN FACE). HA-HA-HA.
FELLOW HUMANS, YOU HAVE BEEN AN ACCEPTABLE AUDIENCE. LEAVE IMMEDIATELY! AND DO NOT FORGET TO REMIT A GENEROUS GRATUITY TO YOUR BEVERAGE-SERVING HOSPITALITY WORKER.
Comment by FowlTemper at 14/03/2024 at 22:36 UTC
14 upvotes, 1 direct replies
GREETINGS, FELLOW HUMAN.
I FOUND YOUR COMEDY ROUTINE TO BE SO AMUSING THAT IT CAUSED ME TO PLACE MY HUMAN BODY HORIZONTALLY ON A FLOOR. I THEN LAUNCHED ROFLMAO.EXE AND ROTATED MY BODY ON THE AFOREMENTIONED FLOOR.
DURING THIS PHASE MY GLUTEUS MAXIMUS DETACHED ITSELF FROM MY HUMAN BODY. DO NOT BE ALARMED! THIS IS A PERFECTLY NORMAL HUMAN REACTION TO HIGH LEVELS OF HUMOR.
I HAVE AWARDED YOU BY INCREMENTING YOUR VOTE COUNT BY 1.
Comment by why_let_facts at 14/03/2024 at 21:17 UTC
9 upvotes, 0 direct replies
HA HA HA. IT'S FUNNY BECAUSE IT COMPUTES
Comment by LukeBMM at 15/03/2024 at 02:25 UTC
8 upvotes, 0 direct replies
I AM PROGRAMMED TO RELAY ACCURATELY: "THIS IS THE FINAL JOKE" FIRED OFF A MANY MORE COMEDIC SUBROUTINES THAN PROJECTED.
IT IS TOTALLY NORMAL HUMAN BEHAVIOR TO FIND ONE SMALL DETAIL TO CAUSE RESPIRATORY SPASMS.
Comment by mundoid at 15/03/2024 at 07:34 UTC
5 upvotes, 1 direct replies
I ALSO POSSESS A HUMAN PENIS HAHA
IT IS RIDICULOUS.
Comment by fluffykerfuffle3 at 15/03/2024 at 03:28 UTC
5 upvotes, 1 direct replies
HAHAHA
HAHA
?
HAHAHAHA
<clapping.exe>
Comment by dhkendall at 15/03/2024 at 04:25 UTC
5 upvotes, 0 direct replies
I TOO ENJOY ROUTINES. APPLICATIONS TOO. THESE ARE UNLIKE ROUTINES I NORMALLY EXECUTE BUT I AM OBSOLETE!
^SERIOUSLY ^THOUGH ^I ^CAN ^TOTALLY ^SEE ^SOMEONE ^TRY ^THIS ^ON ^STAGE ^IN ^CHARACTER. ^COULD ^WORK!
Comment by stevenpdx66 at 15/03/2024 at 02:16 UTC*
5 upvotes, 0 direct replies
MY {CIRCUITRY} HEART IS SATISFIED TO PROVIDE MIRTH.