https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/fy06bv/tifu_by_demanding_that_my_girlfriend_show_me/
created by [deleted] on 09/04/2020 at 20:37 UTC
51381 upvotes, 59 top-level comments (showing 25)
I admit I posted a version of this on the relationship subreddit the other day, but they closed it with no explanation, I assume because they just decided it was fake. I can see how they might think that, but this is a true thing that happened and is happening, and now there is more to it because I actually got broken up with over it.
With all that is going on, we had stocked up on supplies, including some canned goods. I ordered a few weeks ago 30 cans of beans. 10 are black beans, 10 are kidney beans, and 10 are pink beans. Also, I ordered 15 cans of chickpeas. I thought this is a reasonable amount of beans and chickpeas to have every now and then and would last for quite some time.
However earlier this week I opened the cabinet because I wanted to make a vegetarian chili using two cans of beans, but all of the beans were gone. What the hell?
I asked my girlfriend and she told me she buried all of the beans in the woods.
At first I thought she was joking, but she explained, no, she had buried the beans in the woods. WTF?
I asked her to explain and she told me she was afraid that "if things get bad" we might have to worry about "looters or whatever" and that the beans would be in danger of being stolen. I said I thought this was completely ridiculous and unlikely. She became angry at me and said she "is protecting our beans."
According to her logic, the beans are safely buried in the woods behind our apartment complex, and if we ever need some beans she will go to the "stash" and dig up a can or two, but would prefer if we save them all for "if things get worse".
I said why only bury the beans, why not bury our more valuable items? She said the canned food was most valuable for long-term means, and that since we get fresh food in our online grocery deliveries, it would make sense to continue to stockpile beans. She intends to go bury more beans in the woods every week.
This was too insane for me and I got very upset. I demanded to know where the beans were buried, and she refused to tell me. She said if I knew she was afraid I'd dig them up, I said damn right I would. She said "I will never jeopardize the beans."
The following day I tried to put my foot down, and I'm not usually a foot downer but there are rare issues where compromise is out of the question, and I foolishly decided this was one of those issues. I demanded to know where the beans were buried and I told her if she was going to bury beans I paid for in the woods that I would move out. We fought about it and I kept insisting.
In hindsight I should have just let it go and created my own hidden stash of beans in the apartment, and given her time to maybe cool down about this bean burying scenario, but I blew it all out of proportion. Yeah it's weird to bury beans in the woods but why did I have to press it? What's the harm at the end of the day? In the grand scheme of things? But I kept demanding her to take me to the beans, or at least draw a map or something, and finally she BROKE UP WITH ME. Over the beans. I have lost the love of my life because I couldn't let the damn beans go. I am in disbelief. She moved out. Not only am I heartbroken but I am now paying full rent instead of 50% which is a huge financial issue for me.
TL;DR - I kept demanding that my girlfriend show me where she buried the beans in the woods and she got so angry at me that she ended our relationship and moved out. My heart is shattered and my finances are jeopardized because of a bean hoard.
Comment by F_bothparties at 09/04/2020 at 23:43 UTC
30517 upvotes, 12 direct replies
Go to r/metaldetecting and see if there is anyone in your area. DM me if you’re near Denver. I’ll find those fucking beans.
Comment by 22feetistoomany at 09/04/2020 at 20:41 UTC
19515 upvotes, 4 direct replies
...she never buried the beans. She took them and ran.
Comment by [deleted] at 09/04/2020 at 21:24 UTC
11232 upvotes, 5 direct replies
I WILL NEVER JEOPARDIZE THE BEANS!!!
Comment by Feelsosophy at 09/04/2020 at 20:49 UTC
17259 upvotes, 10 direct replies
Does she realise the cans will corrode if they are just burried like that in the ground?
Comment by UsernameCheckOuts at 09/04/2020 at 21:42 UTC
4713 upvotes, 2 direct replies
This is close to one of those neverending Reddit sayings. From here on, "I will never jeopardize the beans " is my new catch phrase.
Comment by [deleted] at 09/04/2020 at 21:03 UTC
11255 upvotes, 5 direct replies
I lost it at "I will never jeopardize the beans". I like your writing style OP.
Comment by dilqncho at 09/04/2020 at 22:56 UTC
5340 upvotes, 7 direct replies
This has to be a joke right
Comment by htownkat at 09/04/2020 at 20:39 UTC
1026 upvotes, 5 direct replies
You still looking for those damn beans ??
Comment by awholebastard at 09/04/2020 at 21:37 UTC
1927 upvotes, 3 direct replies
You are never going to financially recover from this
Comment by 707royalty at 09/04/2020 at 21:49 UTC
534 upvotes, 3 direct replies
At least she didn't freeze and unfreeze the beans, I've heard they lose all flavor
Comment by TechnologicalDragon at 09/04/2020 at 21:22 UTC
2071 upvotes, 5 direct replies
You dodged a bullet. Whatever cloud over your head should be cleared away by repeating the line "she left over a can of beans" OF FUCKING BEANS!!! Do you know how crazy that is, they weren't even hers. Give her parents a call on the phone get your beans back and get that girl the fuck out of your life.
Comment by Sillylittleazgirl2 at 09/04/2020 at 20:43 UTC
5434 upvotes, 3 direct replies
You didn't f-up. You got lucky. You found out about the crazy before you married her. Your heart will heal and you will figure out the money.
Comment by dbx99 at 09/04/2020 at 21:48 UTC
9531 upvotes, 18 direct replies
Ok let’s disregard how absurd and humorous this situation is. At its core we have a conflict regarding a specific issue.
A wants X. A considers X to be communal property even though A bought them.
B decided to hide X.
A asks to know the location of X.
B refuses.
A repeats his query and makes it known it is important to him.
B refuses.
Here my biggest red flag is that B should have at least revealed to A the location. By refusing, B declares A has NO right whatsoever to the beans.
Now substitute beans with children. I’m not saying kill and bury the children. I’m talking about one parent deciding that the other parent should not have any custodial rights. That’s devastating. Yet it happens. Often.
Well OP just experienced a simulation of that with the beans as a proxy for ANY OTHER COMMUNAL THING. And that is bad. If they found themselves in a situation where OP is in a need to know basis and B refuses to reveal pertinent information, then OP will be left out and the relationship will be opaque to him.
That is absolutely anathema to a trusting relationship and is counter to a collaborative relationship. So even though this is a small issue (a mere few cans of beans), it demonstrates that B is not a suitable trustworthy partner in general especially in a stressful crisis situation.
Comment by coyotesage at 10/04/2020 at 01:43 UTC
465 upvotes, 2 direct replies
I really hope you are over estimating her value when you call her the love of your life. Consider this, if something happened to her, you would have no access to those beans. She didn't care enough about you to leave you knowledge that SHE at least believes could be of life or death importance. She was thinking only of herself, and completely took advantage of your by effectively stealing goods that you yourself purchased to be shared between you. I usually think people are overreacting when they say "Dodged a bullet, good riddance!", but you sir...have dodged a bullet, even though right now it probably feels like you just took one up the ass.
Comment by bacon-is-sexy at 09/04/2020 at 21:32 UTC
3056 upvotes, 6 direct replies
Go into the woods and look for recently disturbed ground, my dude.
She’s psycho. If it was really about looters (I read your first two posts this week) why isn’t she hiding other items?
Comment by _the_yellow_peril_ at 10/04/2020 at 00:25 UTC
495 upvotes, 5 direct replies
Everyone is wondering what her secret motive is, me, I'm kinda worried about her mental health.
Comment by [deleted] at 09/04/2020 at 21:54 UTC
1622 upvotes, 4 direct replies
Yah - I suspect she actually took the beans and gave them to someone else, or her shitty friend stole them while she watched or she sold them. It seems like a classic: “what I told him didn’t make him stop asking, so I had to run away”.
I agree with the others - major trust issues here, you dodged a bullet.
Comment by _AEthelwulf_ at 10/04/2020 at 00:53 UTC
232 upvotes, 2 direct replies
The whole situation smacks of drug addled logic...
Comment by 90stacobellaesthetic at 09/04/2020 at 21:34 UTC
674 upvotes, 5 direct replies
Not to spill the beans.... but in case you hadn’t caught on yet- that girl is nuts. This isn’t how you stockpile or prep.
Comment by ToddBradley at 10/04/2020 at 00:00 UTC
162 upvotes, 3 direct replies
Are you two in your early 20s perchance? I’m wondering if she is having a psychotic break. Seriously.
https://psychcentral.com/blog/schizophrenia-usually-strikes-first-in-young-adults/
Comment by [deleted] at 09/04/2020 at 22:34 UTC
612 upvotes, 2 direct replies
I think you dodged a bullet. If you were to get married, I'd be willing to bet the issue with the beans would be a tiny issue compared to what she would do in the future.
A person you want to marry is a person you can trust. She couldn't even trust you with a can of beans and even broke up with you over it. To top it off, they were YOUR beans. What she did amounts to theft. You could literally have her arrested for it.
I'd say while it seemed small, she definitely should have handled it better.
Comment by [deleted] at 09/04/2020 at 22:43 UTC
528 upvotes, 5 direct replies
Hello,
My girlfriend and me have done dating for 5 month. I thought "This girl is very good," and became of love with her.
Yet even so, on this Monday, I comed home and found she as baked all my beans.
Yes, all. Oh brother.
In my cupboard I store several bag of bean, to make soft and to bake on some days, to have a bit of baked bean on my dinner. Or, heck, a lunch too some days.
But on the Monday I find this girlfriend baked all the beans. I say "Why do you bake my beans", and she say something as "I bakes them good to save time, so I bakes them all now."
I am astonished and full of dissmay. I say "I canfr not eat all the beans", she say she is froze many of the beans so as we can unfrozen the on a later day and eat some at a time.
But, if a bean is froze and unfrozed, the very good and very nice flavor of bean is gone far.
A bean is best if baked fresh as a Sunday Pie. Not to be froze and unfroze!
I told my girfriend I am so sad of this, as to my opinion the baking of the beans and to freeze them has ruin all my beans. She say I am "gone haywire" by my enragement and sad manners.
But I hates what she did to my beans.
On the days before Monday I thought "Will we marry the girlfriend? Well it might be so."
But now I am so sad she baked them beans. I am consider to end our relations and not be the boyfriend and girlfriend any more. But, is my idea wrong? Could my girlfriend make promise to not bake the beans? I do not know what doing to do and how to feel forgiving on her.
What can I do on this situation I said here? (In the text I write above this.)
Thank you.
Comment by TreeArchesWorkForMe at 10/04/2020 at 00:29 UTC
140 upvotes, 1 direct replies
"She intends to bury more beans in the woods every week." Lol.
Hi bean drama. 👋
I laughed so hard at this because it has to be true. Also, you got out easy. Anyone with these messed up priorities is not going to be stable over the long term.
Comment by [deleted] at 09/04/2020 at 21:10 UTC
50 upvotes, 1 direct replies
Is this a dramedey starring Paul Dano and Aubrey Plaza?
F#(<ing great story, man!
Comment by employee2136487 at 09/04/2020 at 22:47 UTC
45 upvotes, 0 direct replies
Oh my fucking god I needed this, man that sucks for you, but these fucking beans have made a shit week a little bit brighter.