https://www.reddit.com/r/simpleliving/comments/1j0hbiv/how_big_is_your_social_circle/
created by faheyblues on 28/02/2025 at 20:23 UTC
78 upvotes, 48 top-level comments (showing 25)
Simply living has always been strongly associated with having a small social circle for me. Only a handful of friends who you hold dear and really trust; avoiding all that fuss and drama. But, honestly, I occasionally experience the FOMO. But each time I do go out I quickly realize that I didn't actually want it and rather would be on my own enjoying the simple things. How do you guys resolve this thing?
Comment by Little-Green-Truck at 28/02/2025 at 20:29 UTC*
30 upvotes, 1 direct replies
I stayed home with my kid for a few years, just went back to work.
during that time, I met a handful of young families in my neighborhood. it's been a really valuable experience being able to socialize with my neighbors, because we all share the same goals for our community, and our kids are friends. I feel like these are meaningful relationships that will last a long time. there isn't much drama because everybody is so attentive to their kids that the adult time becomes much more relaxed usually. but our hangouts are usually just playdates where we get takeout or drink a beer while the kids are doing their own thing.
other than that I have 1-2 people from college, and maybe 1-2 people from work that I care to talk to.
I think the older I get, the more I feel comfortable asserting my own introversion and just being myself. and I find people accept it too, because we are all getting a bit older and wiser.
Comment by PicoRascar at 28/02/2025 at 20:46 UTC
33 upvotes, 0 direct replies
My wife and pets are my social circle. Outside of them, I have acquaintances but no real friends.
If I want to socialize, I stop by one of the local beach bars and chat with the usual folks who always seem to be there. That gives me all the socializing I need with no obligations.
Comment by PraxisAccess at 28/02/2025 at 20:35 UTC
20 upvotes, 0 direct replies
I often think about this.
I have just one close friend and handful of friends I see a few times per year. All of my friends have robust social lives; they’re going out multiple times per week. I prefer to go out once per month, if that. I’m very comfortable being with my partner or alone. I never feel lonely and I know that if I wanted more socialization I could make that happen.
But sometimes I wonder if I’m abnormal. Is it healthy to pass weeks on end without plans? It’s a choice and I relish my personal time… so idk.
Comment by Lost2nite389 at 28/02/2025 at 20:46 UTC
16 upvotes, 0 direct replies
Non existent, literally, I’m not exaggerating at all, I don’t think family counts as social circle so outside of my direct family, not a single person knows about me
Comment by Longjumping-War-6297 at 28/02/2025 at 20:59 UTC
10 upvotes, 0 direct replies
Mine is a bit too small at the moment. I have friends and family to call, but I don't have a strong confidant. I want to find one. It may be a romantic relationship or just a best friend.
Comment by UpstairsFan7447 at 28/02/2025 at 21:58 UTC*
8 upvotes, 0 direct replies
You have to visualize your acquaintances, friends, coworkers and family as a layered system, like onion layers. It’s not only about how close friends are, it’s more about how many layers you have and how strong each layer is. Each layer needs maintenance, prioritizing the inner layers higher than the outer ones. But you occasionally need the outer contacts to get things done or get access to somewhere. Be polite and stay in touch. Show interest and help out, if you can. Build up a reputation as a reliable person. Over time it will pay out.
Comment by Robsteady at 28/02/2025 at 20:38 UTC
22 upvotes, 1 direct replies
The only person I see outside of work on a regular basis is my wife. Hell, she's basically the only person I EVER see if I'm not at work. Sure, sometimes I miss the idea of having friends to go hang out with, grab a coffee with, etc. Ultimately, though, I don't have the energy or interest to set things up with anyone.
Comment by Material_Marzipan302 at 28/02/2025 at 21:32 UTC
11 upvotes, 0 direct replies
It probably hovers around 20 people that I interact with regularly. If you count an extended circle who I see sometimes (the kinda of people you’d still probably get a Christmas card or wedding invite from) maybe 50 or so?
Simple living to me means freeing myself from excess stuff so I can focus on my relationships and building memories with people I love! I’m not like a partier or anything. I like to have potlucks, go on walks, participate in book club, or even just do chores with my friends and family.
Comment by FattierBrisket at 28/02/2025 at 20:51 UTC
7 upvotes, 0 direct replies
Me, my sister, my girlfriend, her parents, and one long distance friend who I've known for decades. Wait no, two of those.
So about seven people. Perfection! 🥰
Edit: as to your question, I resolve the issue by having a pretty low social need, plus being ill enough that a larger group would require energy I simply don't have. I do sometimes miss having a broader circle of casual friends to just hang out with occasionally. Then the feeling passes.
Comment by un_gaslightable at 28/02/2025 at 20:39 UTC
6 upvotes, 0 direct replies
I prefer a small amount of friends, but also get FOMO occasionally. I think what helps is remembering all of the times I regretted forcing myself to go out with a friend group/person or when I went out knowing a group/person would be there. That usually helps validate that I’m doing what’s best for my sanity and self-respect lol. Life is way too fucking short to be doing things you don’t want to do for no good reason.
Comment by mummymunt at 28/02/2025 at 21:09 UTC
4 upvotes, 0 direct replies
I have a couple of people I consider friends. I don't see them very often because I just don't feel the need, but I love them to bits 😊
Comment by aFeralSpirit at 28/02/2025 at 21:14 UTC
3 upvotes, 0 direct replies
I relate! I also only have a handful of really close friends (and we aren't even one big friend group; i hang out with each of them independent of one another). Any time i wish i had that "big, fun, party group" or wish that my friends all hung out together....i stop and remember that with large groups, sometimes there can be a lot of infighting, backstabbing, having to choose sides etc. And in large groups, i find it hard to truly connect to people or be confident in being myself, as I'm generally more reserved and let the louder people talk (i get lost in all the big personalities). I get my fix of the "big, fun, party group" when i go to parties hosted by my friends. This allows me to get a social fix without the pressure of maintaining shallow friendships, especially if the other people aren't my cup of tea.
Comment by mistyhazereality at 28/02/2025 at 23:02 UTC
3 upvotes, 0 direct replies
I don't have any friends. None. 51yrs old 2 teenagers still at home and work nights at a supermarket. I'm undecided if I thoroughly enjoy my own company or I've just got used to it over time. The love of my life and I broke up 30years ago. I had 2 relationships since him but they were not him, ive been single for 17years this year.
I would like to meet someone but it's been so long I can't imagine how that would look. My kids have never seen me with a man. The youngest are 17 this year (twins). I'm not a sad person but I'm definitely not a naturally happy (excited) personality. Ironically the people I work with always comment on how I'm always bubbly and full of smiles I am. I carry alot of hurt from my X and 3 or 4 friends that I've lost over time. It's not a hurt that surfaces every day, week or month. I just resigned to the fact that I'm alone. I moved to Melbourne in 2013. My previous life was full. Drug addict, my home was the place to be. I maintained a normal life whilst partying every night. It was fun and loved it. But I wanted more for my children so I literally moved overnight and stopped the drugs and boozing (I still like an occasional drink) I went into healthcare and raised my children. 2 have moved out. I'm close to 1 but I think of all I have given up so they had a healthy home.... only to be left alone once they moved out. My twins will eventually move out and I'll be me and my 2 dogs. Maybe it's an age thing but starting to question life alot lately.
Comment by autumnsnowflake_ at 28/02/2025 at 21:26 UTC
3 upvotes, 0 direct replies
Like 2 people max
Comment by Same_Ad_3827 at 28/02/2025 at 21:34 UTC
3 upvotes, 0 direct replies
It's amazing how much this has changed for me as I've aged...In my 20s and early 30s I wanted as many friends and acquaintances as possible...then I married my soulmate and I'm very content just being with her and our daughter. I'm also blessed to have 2 life-long friends from grade school that I still see each month.
Comment by eharder47 at 28/02/2025 at 22:12 UTC
3 upvotes, 1 direct replies
I have a large friend group of about 50 people. I definitely see 5-15 of them each week at Friday dinner/movie night. If there’s a party or event on the weekend, I see closer to 30 of them each week. These aren’t acquaintances, they’re people I’ve taken to the hospital, helped move, picked up when their car broke down, and traveled with. Our ages range from 25-38 and there’s very little drama. I don’t mind a little bit of interesting gossip as long as it isn’t mean spirited.
Comment by browneyedshawty at 28/02/2025 at 23:24 UTC
3 upvotes, 0 direct replies
Honestly, I don’t really have one. I have one person I consider a true friend who lives ~5 hours away and I work from home so I don’t really have friends via work etc. I struggle with making friends while living a simple lifestyle, because I don’t hang out in bars/etc as much anymore. (And the people I met in there weren’t really looking for long lasting friendships). I struggle with this FOMO as well, so you’re not alone. I’ve tried different apps and things meant to make friends and I’ve yet to find anything. I hope you have some luck with this soon!
Comment by baddragon213 at 28/02/2025 at 23:38 UTC
3 upvotes, 0 direct replies
My social circle is so small, it’s a dot.
Comment by Pawsandtails at 01/03/2025 at 00:14 UTC
3 upvotes, 1 direct replies
I have a saying I repeat myself “not because I want to, means I’ll enjoy it”.
I’m autistic and grew up longing for social related things other people had: having a boyfriend, living together with my partner, big family gatherings, lots of friends, an active social life, parties, a career, etc.
Every time I obtained some of those things, after a while I started to feel uncomfortable, like “ok, I’m here now, when does the intense happiness begins?”, it never came for me, until I realised that concept from my saying. I’ll always long for things I’m not able to enjoy because of who I am, I now recognise them for what they are, and don’t pursue them .
Comment by popzelda at 01/03/2025 at 00:19 UTC
3 upvotes, 0 direct replies
I live simply so I can prioritize socializing. It's part of my effort to stay healthy and enjoy my life to the fullest. I used to be more of an introvert but now I get energy from people. I have 9 extremely close friends, a larger circle of pretty close friends (maybe 30), and many acquaintances (lots). And I meet new people on a regular basis.
Comment by SnooOpinions9305 at 01/03/2025 at 07:03 UTC
3 upvotes, 1 direct replies
Four friends (not a group), hanging out with each one of them about once per 2-3 weeks. Also visiting my parents for lunch on Sundays. I don't have a gf currently.
Comment by tacomaloki at 28/02/2025 at 20:58 UTC
4 upvotes, 0 direct replies
I have a group of 4 work friends that have moved on. We meet about once a month to ride trails and meet for lunch. This is going on about 5 years now.
Another group of 9 we meet once a week for D&D and once a year for weekend. This is going on about 8 years now.
Last group which I've known the longest are my internet gaming buddies of 5 and we are spread across the country. We talk almost nightly on the computer and game. Wednesdays are crafting night and Friday is generally a show or movie night. Once a year we meet up and spend a week hanging out. This is going on about 13 years now.
Each group is independent of the other. Not a single friend comingles with the others.
It got challenging trying to find friends with all the same interests of mine. It just wasn't happening. Eventually it got to the point that I wasn't doing what I wanted with friends prior to these groups. It ended up being what they wanted and I just wasn't having fun. I isolated myself for a long time and fell into depression watching my years ago by.
Now I have 3 distinct groups, of very close friends, and my life is happy and I have things to do with passionate friends.
Oh yeah, something something my wife, something something daughter. I reintroduce myself to them at the dinner table nightly.
Comment by yours_truly_1976 at 28/02/2025 at 21:28 UTC
2 upvotes, 0 direct replies
I have like six people in my life, total, whom I love unconditionally and trust
Comment by IandSolitude at 28/02/2025 at 21:53 UTC
2 upvotes, 0 direct replies
3 friends. Co-workers, condominium reception staff, neighbors that I ignore. Parents, 3 brothers, 1 uncle, 1 aunt, 4 cousins, girlfriend, girlfriend's parents, girlfriend's grandmother and girlfriend's considerate grandmother.
Comment by recoveringGIRLbosss at 01/03/2025 at 00:00 UTC
2 upvotes, 0 direct replies
I have a friend group of 5 that have been friends for 10 plus years and we usually hangout in a group if we can and then I have a cousin I am super close to and a few other friends here and there, but I will say I only have about 2 people at a time I can ever feel like we are consistent and they know whats going on in my life regularly.