https://www.reddit.com/r/simpleliving/comments/1iyukup/do_you_ever_feel_depressed/
created by RestfulReasoning on 26/02/2025 at 18:32 UTC
78 upvotes, 22 top-level comments (showing 22)
Simplifying my life, or at least starting the journey, has given me a lot of peace. I don't regret it. But I find that I can't relate to people much anymore because of different priorities, values, and interests. I feel like I speak a different language sometimes. I try to be kind and listen with curiosity, but many folks are surprisingly put off by this. Like it's weird to them.
If I try to enjoy a movie or TV show, I'm often disappointed by what I see--brand placements, poorly written things that feel like what they are (a way for the streaming services to make a buck).
I don't know. I'm not full of myself. I don't think I'm better than anyone and I don't try to evangelize about simple living. It's just lonely in a world like ours, in a time like this.
Can anyone relate? How do you deal with this?
Comment by Ljknicely at 26/02/2025 at 18:42 UTC
36 upvotes, 2 direct replies
I feel like I could have written this post. I can’t relate to people much either. I didn’t realize how much that STUFF was the topic of discussion until I kinda let go of a lot. And no one really has any hobbies to discuss. I feel such a huge disconnect with people.
I’d love to have some likeminded people to chat with. It’s lonely
Comment by Independent_Bite_788 at 26/02/2025 at 21:47 UTC
28 upvotes, 2 direct replies
Just be careful you’re not falling into the trap of still seeking validation and that’s why you feel isolated and depressed. You don’t need other people to share your views and values (unless you are trying to build a life together obviously).
A huge part of me simplifying my life has come from strengthening my self belief. I know myself and my values and I don’t need other people to understand me. When people at work or my friends or family talk about things I don’t agree with I just let them. Doesn’t change how I feel and I don’t feel obliged to change how they feel. I talk about my life, they talk about theirs.
Obviously it’s nice to have people around you who you can relate to, and it’s important to share values with your life partner. I think though if you’re struggling being around people who live differently to you then maybe you’re not as confident in your choices as you might think. That was certainly the case for me in the past.
Comment by aFeralSpirit at 26/02/2025 at 20:23 UTC
10 upvotes, 2 direct replies
100%. I can completely relate...
i dont know if this rings true for you, but for me it kind of seems like being able to see through the masks and artifice of our superficial society. Like a lot of people just seem so...materialistic, brainwashed, robotic, self-absorbed... how do people have the ability tune out the ugliness of the world and put on a happy face and pretend everything is fine? Or find interst in vapid conversations?
Maybe it takes a lot of vulnerability to have deep and real conversations with people, so we are all just hiding behind socially acceptable personalities to fit in.
I don't want to make small talk about careers and celebrities: i want to talk about how we have forgotten how to live on this earth and how there's got to be more to life than the rat race.
Sorry for the rant....Maybe I just think too much 😆
Comment by CeeCee123456789 at 26/02/2025 at 19:07 UTC
8 upvotes, 0 direct replies
For me, depression is a physiological thing. My body chemicals get out of whack and it messes with my sleep, and other parts of my life. Then I feel like crap. My brain feels like crap and tries to connect that feeling to something going on in life whether those things are actually connected or not.
I am okay with being different from other folks, but depression turns up the volume of those feelings of isolation.
If you are feeling symptoms of depression, I encourage you to see a doctor.However, if you don't want to see a doctor, exercise has been shown to be as effective as antidepressants at relieving symptoms of depression.
Comment by Pawsandtails at 26/02/2025 at 20:36 UTC
7 upvotes, 0 direct replies
I think growing up autistic gave me an advantage, because I’ve always felt a bit disjointed to people in general so now at my almost 50s I’ve learned to feel comfortable about people finding me weird. What I can tell you is there out there, there is someone that shares your view of the world and maybe you’ll find it. I found my best friend at my mid thirties and we are planning to live in adjacent plots of land away from big cities in a couple of years.
Comment by lunalovegood17 at 26/02/2025 at 19:15 UTC
7 upvotes, 1 direct replies
I am in the same boat. I’m in my early 50’s so it’s already difficult to make friends. But now I honestly feel like I have nothing in common with almost everyone I meet. I primarily hang out with my family - I have no children and my parents are both gone. My sisters and their children are my social group but I long for a friend that I can connect with. I’m waiting for it to happen organically, but in the meantime this sub provides me with a lot of comfort and hope. I also struggle with chronic anxiety and depression so it has to be right or I’d just rather be on my own or hang out with my husband. Thank you for this post - it’s nice to know I’m not alone and there are people who get it.
Comment by thecourageofstars at 26/02/2025 at 20:15 UTC
7 upvotes, 0 direct replies
It can take some time to "find your people" as it were, but it's very possible!
I find people involved in hiking groups, for example, tend to be more likely to be focused on spending less time indoors and consuming media and just being in the moment. Or you could start something based on something you enjoy, like a baking group. I also find people more focused on producing/learning can be often less wrapped up in consuming (at least compared to the general population), like people who want to learn writing music, or learn a new language. Classes and education are a great way to make it more likely that you meet people more focused on self edification!
Comment by Erialcatteyy at 26/02/2025 at 19:40 UTC
4 upvotes, 0 direct replies
Yes. I have no friends in my local area. Women I meet end up mostly talking about clothing/brands…influencers… and a ton of image or media focused things. If not that, I find they use me as someone to vent about their boyfriend or dating life with. I’ve also been used as in photographer for their IG photos. I don’t feel above them but I feel like I can’t relate.
Comment by Invisible_Mikey at 26/02/2025 at 20:21 UTC
3 upvotes, 0 direct replies
I try hard to be precise using words, and to me "depressed" is a clinical term. Sure, I am saddened at times, because I was once subject to impulse buying and over-consumption too. It's sad to see people in economic distress of their own making.
But I'm not depressed, because I KNOW anyone can simplify, can become more aware and intentional when making purchases. And I'm here to help, with both sympathy and solutions. It's not a difficult process to begin. It begins with your intent to take back your own agency.
I'm sure it would be harder if my wife wasn't on the same page with me, and I had no friends who agreed in philosophic support. Fortunately (or by divine providence), we came to voluntary simplicity through small group discussions at church that took place over years. I'm living in community with a whole pack of "small footprinters" who are always looking for new ways to reuse, repurpose and recycle.
About the streaming thing ... I love good stories. I LEARN things watching movies and tv shows. I also make a game out of always having a "mute" button at hand, and muting the sound BEFORE they can start selling crap to me. Brand placements within shows don't really work on me though. If I can spot them, it can't have a persuasive effect. My wife and I sometimes make fun of things like fast food commercials. We both worked in tv, and understand you would NEVER want to actually eat that sexy-looking stuff. It's sprayed with silicone to create shine, and stuffed with dry ice to simulate steam. Just like the rest of life, if you can dispel the unhealthy illusions, they lose their influence over your behavior.
Comment by __squirrelly__ at 26/02/2025 at 21:50 UTC
3 upvotes, 0 direct replies
Book clubs! I'm in a ridiculous number at this point but I get something different out of each one.
It can take a while to find the right book club for you though.
Comment by SirSnazzy20 at 27/02/2025 at 01:27 UTC
3 upvotes, 0 direct replies
About the movies thing, look for good ones and you won't regret it. Live simple, but also know that good art is a great use of your time. Don't waste it on trash movies made by Netflix just looking for money
Comment by Acrobatic_Monk3248 at 27/02/2025 at 02:17 UTC
3 upvotes, 1 direct replies
I absolutely relate to what you're saying. I spend a lot of time mulling over the dilemma of how to find people who are like me. My husband is dear and wonderful, and I really do love our rather isolated rural existence, but at times I crave the company of other people like me, and by that I mean people who share similar politics, people who care about education, people who are creative, maybe a bit eccentric, people who are not fashionistas or care about trendy fads or keeping up with the Joneses, just a little group of one or four people who could go get a coke once in a while or sit in the park, exchange recipes or casseroles, pass along good books, reminisce, or work a crossword together over the phone, talk about sourdough. Trouble is I become bored quickly with most people, and I readily admit it's my problem, not theirs. I'm too picky about friends, I guess. I can name mostly on one hand the few people in my entire life whom I have truly meshed with and looked forward to spending time with them. True joyous friends. I wish someone would invent a venue where you could be matched with a group of people who could have that connection.
Comment by FlannelJoy at 27/02/2025 at 08:14 UTC
3 upvotes, 0 direct replies
Can relate. Moved to a small town from a bigger city and it has made all the difference.
Comment by Bookkeeper-Full at 26/02/2025 at 19:53 UTC
2 upvotes, 0 direct replies
I think there have always been people like us throughout history. Superficial fads come and go, various harmful dogmas come and go, every society has this dynamic. There are always a few people who would rather live simply and sincerely away from all the chaos. So it helps me a lot to read books and poems written by those people - they feel like my friends across time and distance. I really like Mary Oliver and The Abundance of Less by Andy Couturier[1] (about simple-living people in rural Japan).
1: http://www.theabundanceofless.com/
It also helps me to spend time in nature, where I always feel a sense of belonging.
Comment by PraxisAccess at 26/02/2025 at 21:48 UTC
2 upvotes, 0 direct replies
I’m picking up what you’re putting down. Keeping up with it all is like drinking out of a firehose. Not that another way of life is worse, or better, it’s just different. There’s a disconnect.
Simplifying life can mean subtracting things - overconsumption, packed social schedule, and so on - but it also means adding things. Peaceful mornings and evenings. A regulated nervous system. Clarity of mind. Appreciation of small details.
Comment by Alternative-Art3588 at 27/02/2025 at 00:45 UTC
2 upvotes, 0 direct replies
I don’t mind being different and realize that most people are set in their ways just like I’m set in mine. It’s all good. I also understand the TV and internet is always trying to sell me something. It is what it is. If I need a break from it, I can take a walk in nature and look at my cute dog.
Comment by Theluckygal at 27/02/2025 at 03:12 UTC
2 upvotes, 0 direct replies
I try to rewatch my favorite comedy tv shows & movies or atleast clips like 60min of funniest dwight schrute moments. Always helps. Also, I started doing landscaping few yrs back & being in nature has been very relaxing & I snap out of bad moods, depression once I start working on my yard.
Comment by I_Was_Inverted991 at 27/02/2025 at 06:46 UTC
2 upvotes, 0 direct replies
I often feel depressed. Lots going on personally and in the dead of winter (it's the most depressing time of the year here) so vitamin D is low.
Comment by Sea-Grass-sex at 27/02/2025 at 11:44 UTC
2 upvotes, 0 direct replies
A completely agree with you everyday people are often not accommodate to some empathy and genuine interest from someone else. It definitely makes the journey lonely. I go through stuff like that all the time whether is just by watching tv and realizing I’m the empty ideas the media tries to enforce; or in the real world with other people living their fake happy lives;
I look at it like this: many of those people are just avatars, many don’t even realize how much they are missing out and even who they truly are… so don’t take it to personal instead I try to make of my experience more exciting by knowing many of those people don’t even matter in my journey and in a way gives me the me liberty to want to explore on my own; and I know others like me will appear eventually
Comment by lollypolly5455 at 27/02/2025 at 14:21 UTC
2 upvotes, 0 direct replies
i totally just had to accept that i’m walking this road alone, and yes it’s hard
Comment by suzemagooey at 27/02/2025 at 15:51 UTC
2 upvotes, 0 direct replies
I relate to all you wrote, Restful.
It isn't depression I feel but legitimate sadness akin to grief over so much unawareness and how that promotes poor choices. It causes the inevitable poor results everyone shares in, like it or not.
We have learned to curate who/what we are involved with more and more as awareness/simple living grew. Still are learning, as a manner of fact. Mainstream stuff is geared to the masses. All our tastes run to the niche side, so searching more creatively is required.
As for social stuff, lately we found more compatible folks among certain special interest groups: literary minded, vegans, holistic wellness/integrated medicine are a few off the top of my head.
As for entertaining media, we read and watch dvd's free from the library almost exclusively. We are better at selecting books than dvd's, some of which only makes it for 15 minutes before we realize this won't entertain/educate.
I hope this gives you some ideas; gets those little grey cells (as Poirot would say) excited. Meanwhile, you have all of us here. I know, that's very limited but it can be used as a springboard.
Comment by EmoLotional at 28/02/2025 at 22:28 UTC
1 upvotes, 0 direct replies
I feel like when one chooses to change course the old energies have to go, maybe not totally but at least shift the ways they affect us.
The importance of simple living is to keep mostly what's important to you in your life and around you.
I feel like the movie soul is the best example of what it feels like to live truly.