https://www.reddit.com/r/simpleliving/comments/1ix60j6/elite_hangover/
created by PraxisAccess on 24/02/2025 at 16:25 UTC
254 upvotes, 19 top-level comments (showing 19)
Familial and social obligations require me to hang out with the 1% from time to time - millionaires, billionaires, celebrities, politicians. Whether or not they’re truly happy isn’t for me to judge.
But I find when I return to my “normal life” it feels like I’m recovering from a dizzy spell. The overconsumption, the showmanship… it can be alluring and exciting, but ultimately, I’m always thankful to slow down and return to what feels real, what feels natural.
Anyone else have regular exposure to this class of people - and how do you react?
Comment by PicoRascar at 24/02/2025 at 17:13 UTC
203 upvotes, 5 direct replies
Kind of a similar experience. I know the son of a billionaire through my professional circle and used to go drinking with him occasionally as part of professional events.
He was a POS. Selfish and tight with money unless it was towards other rich people. He and his very unlikeable family would spend lavishly on themselves and rich friends but leave crumbs for anyone else. He'd order $1000 bottle of wine or more but if someone 'regular' joined the table, the cheapest bottle on the menu for them.
The guy would show up in a $250k car and stiff the valet.
He and his family would meltdown on people over minor issues but then completely fail to acknowledge anyone for going above and beyond. It was the pinnacle of entitlement.
Awful people. They lived such a pampered existence completely insulated from real-life, they had no sense of what normal people around them experience day-to-day and they had no interest in showing any sort of grace to anyone. The world was there to serve them.
Comment by Ohio_gal at 24/02/2025 at 18:20 UTC
81 upvotes, 3 direct replies
I know millionaires but not billionaires. I understand and agree with what you’re saying. The millionaires I know are nice enough but even then I feel like you do, the hangover when the champagne stops. Best analogy I can think of: It feels like they speak a different language and I have become bilingual but I prefer my native tongue.
Comment by Bookkeeper-Full at 24/02/2025 at 23:07 UTC
56 upvotes, 0 direct replies
I do some side-work for the star of a famous TV show, and also teach an extracurricular activity at a super-elite private school. They are laser-focused on having the most elite possessions and experiences in life and feel like they have to hide anything that isn’t elite. They will compromise values and decency, do anything to stay part of the elite crowd. I also find that it’s very difficult for them to “lose” - whether it be ranking #2 in a competition, having some normal daily inconvenience, or just simply not getting their way. It’s exhausting. I also hate how they talk down about everyone and everything to make themselves seem like connoisseurs.
There are a couple kids at the elite school who are so over it, though. I secretly love it when I see them rolling their eyes. We were talking recently and I said, “Your voice will always be louder than others, due to being upper class. So I hope you use that fact to change things for the better."
Comment by PurpleAlien4255 at 24/02/2025 at 19:25 UTC
48 upvotes, 1 direct replies
Not frequently but I have sat in my fair share of this elitist circle you speak of. To me it feels like a circlejerk of competition of one upping everyone in the group on who is more important. Also alot of wasted money on materialistic things, everything is so objectified. Its pretty shallow and an empty lifestyle, I feel pity for the life they live
Comment by Where_art_thou70 at 24/02/2025 at 22:38 UTC*
21 upvotes, 0 direct replies
What gets me most is the blatant hypocrisy, while flashing expensive jewelry and marked handbags.
But they're so poor! And high taxes! Their immigrant workers are treated like slaves.
My siblings are multi millionaires and they regift everything some one gives them. Those gifts aren't good enough for them but they're good enough for you. I actually received gifts that still had the gift card with it. 😵
Comment by alatere1904 at 25/02/2025 at 00:58 UTC
23 upvotes, 2 direct replies
A guy I know got hired by a billionaire and he was told to use this hotel for a certain amount of nights, paid by the company. The guy checks into the hotel and he gets told that the card the company gave was not working so the guy gave his card and paid, planning to submit a reimbursement. The billionaire found out and went insane because he didn’t want to miss the points from the hotel, so in less than one hr the hotel had the transaction reversed and the room paid by the company of the billionaire. Later on the guy found out that the billionaire holds a huge amount of different cards and manages to pay with them depending on points, so he can get free perks. This is a guy who owns a jet, yachts, several houses and you should hear his vacations all over the world. The guy is just a regular worker…😳 I’m speechless
Comment by gremlinguy at 25/02/2025 at 09:51 UTC
9 upvotes, 0 direct replies
My mother leads a cleaning team at one of the properties of a billionaire family. The property includes the family's cabin/mansion, of course, but also a 5 star hotel, a hunting reserve, a hunting lodge, an array of cabins, a few lakes, shooting ranges, and even a gift shop. It is often used for events. The family will stay or sometimes just a group of friends of a son or something, and while the actual billionaire is very nice and remembers everyone's names etc, all his kids are generally as you'd expect: oblivious to the humanity of "the help," try to style themselves rurally while being jetsetters (multi-thousand dolalr boots and jeans etc, Rexall cowboys) and drinking copious amounts regularly in a private bar made as an exact replica of the favorite college bar of one of the sons. It's unreal. This place employs security, maintenance, hunting guides, full cleaning staff, and chefs year round and the family is there maybe 10 days of the year. It is genuinely unfathomable to a normal person the immense scale of everything and the gulf between us and them.
And they walk among us.
Comment by Peacefulwarrior007 at 25/02/2025 at 03:19 UTC
18 upvotes, 1 direct replies
I find their preoccupation with stuff (money, fancy clothes, jewelry, cars, business acquisitions, luxuries) and self-focused priorities/expectations to be off-putting when I feel there are more meaningful pursuits and greater societal needs. I try not to be judgmental about it, but I can’t help but to internally feel like none of these things matter and feel aloof/distant while I’m among them.
But I also get a strong sense of needing to keep up, as the resources and influence that comes with that wealth is very, very real. These are real factors that can impact, for example, the resources your children can one day have or not have access to.
So I leave those interactions deeply confused about whether I should focus on living the simple life or being more of an influential mover and shaker. The truth, I suppose, is that it’s not dichotomous. A balance can be achieved.
Comment by AbsoluteBeginner1970 at 24/02/2025 at 16:30 UTC
25 upvotes, 2 direct replies
Most celebs and politicians aside, there are a lot of wealthy people who practice stealth wealth. Not everybody is a big showoff
Comment by Brawlingpanda02 at 24/02/2025 at 17:01 UTC
12 upvotes, 0 direct replies
No actually. The rich people I’ve interacted with has been very down to earth. Their homes are very very luxurious but it’s not like they go around talking about it. It’s just normal to them.
Source: I worked with serving the elite for a while.
Comment by cloverthewonderkitty at 25/02/2025 at 22:49 UTC
3 upvotes, 0 direct replies
It's all such an absurdity of showboating and utter nonsense- a weird dance of showing off to people who are the only see/care about the subtle differences of what's "in" vs "out", "haut" vs "cheap/outdated".
I used to be so self conscious but I simply can't be bothered to care anymore. I'm treated like a novelty in these situations because I'm poor, and I know it, and I don't care and take up my space anyway.
It's like being briefly put in a gilded cage, admiring the scenery, and then being let out to fly far far away before they can taint me with their vapid consumerism. I breathe a *huge* sigh of relief once I'm reunited with my hovel and the simple but lovely life that comes with it.
Comment by marchof34_ at 24/02/2025 at 16:42 UTC
13 upvotes, 0 direct replies
I react the same way I do to everyone. I treat them the same way I treat a homeless person whom I give food to. Just realize they are just people too who happen to have a lot of resources. I don't take anything they say seriously. I just try to enjoy my time talking with people about stuff and anything that is dumb I just ignore.
Usually don't have a rebound the next day because to me, they aren't any different than what others are. I haven't met a person at any class level who doesn't consume more than they need to or talk about things in a way any differently.
Comment by mintgreenteaa at 25/02/2025 at 05:21 UTC
2 upvotes, 0 direct replies
Similar. I feel like being around them is sometimes exhausting and I return grateful that I can go back to regular life.
Comment by Chemical_Suit at 25/02/2025 at 14:08 UTC
2 upvotes, 0 direct replies
I know one billionaire personally and was invited to his home for dinner on one occasion. I found the evening enlightening.
Comment by suzemagooey at 25/02/2025 at 21:25 UTC*
2 upvotes, 0 direct replies
I think there is a necessary detoxing period from what I see as their unreality -- a profound disconnect from reality. Most have terrible mental health (or a working philosophy/spirituality or EQ or whatever one wishes to call it), which they think is well hidden but is far from it, at least to people like me.
This massive denial can be cumbersome to side step and the pressure to not show one sees their willful ignorance takes a toll. I used to routinely experience the detox until my circumstances made it possible to skip interacting with them. I don't enjoy people with whom I cannot be honest/sincere and especially if it cannot be reciprocated.
I declined invites long enough to not be invited anymore, which is the best outcome. The only exception to this were the ones who did not appear wealthy, did not hobnob with others of their status but were rather isolated by choice or highly curated the company they keep.
Comment by Galactic_Barbacoa at 25/02/2025 at 12:29 UTC
1 upvotes, 0 direct replies
I know a person like this from the tech space. They’re insufferable.
Comment by Lakestooceans at 25/02/2025 at 23:02 UTC
1 upvotes, 0 direct replies
Yes, I felt this just a few weeks ago. I had to shake it off a little. It was a parent and kid get together in the afternoon, pizza was provided but so was a full on catered spread. The people were all very nice but dizzying is exactly the word I would use.
Comment by theramin-serling at 26/02/2025 at 11:04 UTC
1 upvotes, 0 direct replies
I wouldn't say I have that exact experience in terms of socioeconomic circles, but I kind of know what you're talking about. Last week I was host to a variety of executives across my company and so I was tagging along to a ton of high profile events, that felt a bit like when I worked at some high profile startups courting VCs in the darling tech industry days. I've come back to reality this week and realizing how much I just appreciate a quiet life and slowdown, and how scary it was to feel sucked back into the crazy workaholic culture I got carried away with pre-COVID.
I think of these things as "reality distortion field benders" and they really make it hard for you to determine what your core principles are.
Comment by [deleted] at 24/02/2025 at 17:25 UTC
-4 upvotes, 3 direct replies
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