https://www.reddit.com/r/simpleliving/comments/1iugydw/do_you_find_it_hard_to_maintain_your/
created by Otherwise-Ant630 on 21/02/2025 at 03:08 UTC
43 upvotes, 16 top-level comments (showing 16)
i want to cut back on using my phone but it feels like i can’t water my relationships effectively without it. i get distracted often and sometimes miss the days when a phone was just a phone without the bombardment of ads and notifications. does anyone else struggle to try and manage their relationships? or do you find it easier?
Comment by girlWhosACutie at 21/02/2025 at 04:25 UTC
12 upvotes, 1 direct replies
I just had a call with a friend of mine. She had a baby and she was questioning my friendship with her for 2 reasons. I didn’t liked her post about this and I also didnt posted anything about it. Now we have a friendship of almost 15 yrs but now it all comes down to this. Liking, sharing, reels. Honestly i don’t care. I do care of friendship but not like this. Yes its hard because people don’t understand anything anymore other than stuff in online world.
Comment by Metty197 at 21/02/2025 at 03:15 UTC
13 upvotes, 0 direct replies
I really struggle with Internet relationships tbh, when people ask if I want to play are game online my first response is to ask if they would rather get a drink or something
Comment by awholedamngarden at 21/02/2025 at 04:06 UTC
9 upvotes, 0 direct replies
It was hard when I had social media because I passively knew what folks were up to or at least big life events. I dumped instagram and Facebook after the inauguration and one thing I noticed almost immediately is that it’s a lot easier to keep up on relationships because I don’t have a constant stream of info about everyone I know. I have to text them if I’m thinking about them and ask how they are.
I was never anti social media before making the switch (for political reasons, not this stuff) but I’ve realized now how much better off I am without.
Comment by Spiritual-Bee-2319 at 21/02/2025 at 06:34 UTC
5 upvotes, 0 direct replies
I’ve kind of given up on trying to maintain relationships. It’s been liberating and I like my solitude
Comment by Wordsofwisdomneeded at 21/02/2025 at 03:54 UTC
5 upvotes, 0 direct replies
It is definitely harder these days. Most are satisfied with a text or phone call, even a Facebook post when you want to share news with them. When I want to show someone something, they ask for a “quick” FaceTime call. I have recently set boundaries with this and am sure to wait until we are in person because it is much more meaningful that way.
There is frustration and it can take away from the shared news because their patience has worn out by the time you see them in person or have them over. It is a bizarre time we live in, that most things are readily accessible at the touch of a screen.
Comment by evildorkgirl at 21/02/2025 at 04:57 UTC
3 upvotes, 0 direct replies
I think, like most things in life, it is about intention. I primarily look at my device as a way to keep in touch with people I care about. I’ve lived in 4 different cities across 2 time zones as an adult, so I will never ever get all of the people I would like to meet in the same room. Social media allows me to not only connect with some of my longest friends and watch their kids grow, it allows my friends to connect with each other.
I work in tech so I get screen fatigue and only have so much energy to connect with people. I find that if I only use my phone to call, text, video chat, or use little social media except for keeping in touch with friends, it actually helps me.
That said, I am incredibly mindful about the amount of energy I put into all of my relationships, family and friends.
Comment by Clean-Web-865 at 21/02/2025 at 11:34 UTC
3 upvotes, 0 direct replies
I have determined that technology is pushing us to go inward to our own selves which is the truth we're all waking up to. It's all ONE.
Comment by Invisible_Mikey at 21/02/2025 at 06:00 UTC
2 upvotes, 0 direct replies
I had the great fortune to reach adulthood before any digital technology was available, so even now I just use the cell phone as a phone. It stays in the car, for emergencies, and I don't pay for a data plan or do browsing or email on it.
My relationships are all face-to-face. Textual interractions are convenient for messaging, but I don't consider that to be equal to relationships. If you can't see facial reactions or smell when someone is nervous, it isn't real. Even zoom calls are interractive tv, not nearly the quality of being with someone in proximity.
Comment by mummymunt at 21/02/2025 at 06:20 UTC
2 upvotes, 0 direct replies
The only notifications turned on on my phone are text messages and the grocery shopping app I use to tell me I can go pick up my order.
I hate talking on the phone, so texting is awesome. I can also go days without exchanging a single text message with anyone, so my phone is silent 99% of the time.
I maintain relationships with just a few people, and none of us feels the need to be in constant contact.
I use my phone mostly for listening to podcasts, so in that way it makes a lot of noise 😊
Comment by PurpleAlien4255 at 23/02/2025 at 03:24 UTC
2 upvotes, 0 direct replies
Yes it is hard, especially when dealing with people that are really on their phone interconnected with everyone and everything all the time. There is this almost peer pressure in a way to do it too since its the easier thing to do - not doing it is like swimming upstream and seen as unrelatable
Comment by doneinajiffy at 21/02/2025 at 06:36 UTC
1 upvotes, 0 direct replies
I use WhatsApp to chat or share the occasional photo, but mainly to arrange a meet up.
These are fantastic tools not replacements for in person interactions, with bring you out of yourself. Social media posts are a bit like standing on a platform, they can be isolating.
Comment by Pawsandtails at 21/02/2025 at 22:31 UTC
1 upvotes, 0 direct replies
I'm 47 so I guess it's easier for me because I grew without phones, but at my age, relationships that really mean something to me are few, and it's not complicated to reserve time for a phone call or a message asking how things are. Also my friends don't live in the same city as me, so sometimes I take a few free days and make the trip to stay with them.
Comment by PurpleAlien4255 at 22/02/2025 at 04:27 UTC
1 upvotes, 0 direct replies
I use a second phone that is more spammed, interconnected and primarily a work device
My main phone operates mostly as just a web browsing device with music, text, calls and GPS
The only thing that bothers me at times is I wish I could have my texts in seperate buckets. Its like the only mixed grouping of things I have on my device. Sometimes its spam, othertimes its friends, othertimes its I have to authenicate and sms is the only option
I have a ton of DnD settings on my phone including not having anything communications related on the first page of apps on my phone.
My phone is first and foremost a mobile internet device, then a communications device
Comment by Numerous-Tonight4149 at 24/02/2025 at 17:38 UTC
1 upvotes, 0 direct replies
Agreed. I feel like people I know message me on social media more than texting calling or agreeing to hang out.
I also feel like no one seems to care about my ongoing unless it's a major milestone or it's something they haven't achieved like buying a big house, expensive car or other materialistic things.
Plus these days most people I know use social media to complain and I'm not one for social media I'd people rant om there.
Comment by AutoModerator at 21/02/2025 at 03:08 UTC
0 upvotes, 0 direct replies
Hello, /u/Otherwise-Ant630! Thank you for your participation. It looks like this post is about technology. Please note r/simpleliving may not be the best subreddit for some tech posts, like asking for low-tech phones, specific social media, etc - if you're asking for that, please retry in those subreddits.
1: /message/compose/?to=/r/simpleliving
Comment by Proud_Fisherman_7049 at 21/02/2025 at 05:56 UTC
-1 upvotes, 0 direct replies
No cuz I already sold my soul to the hive master mind, Join us! Join the dark side