Bf 26M ex text him f 26F

https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/1iixdap/bf_26m_ex_text_him_f_26f/

created by Ancient_Study_681 on 06/02/2025 at 07:47 UTC

0 upvotes, 10 top-level comments (showing 10)

All opinions are appreciated.

Me and my bf have been dating for a few months now. He's 26M and I am 24F. He had a very long term relationship before us which lasted for 4 years they broke up in 2023.

She currently has a bf also. Before we started dating I mentioned that if she ever reached out I would want to know and he simply should not be reaching out.

Jan 7th was his bday and she wished him a happy birthday on a instagram dm?? He responded on the 10th saying thank you. It later went onto him saying how is her dog and her giving the update and him offering to watch him whenever she needed it. She asked ab his family and he asked a little about hers and that was it.

Feb 5th is her bday and he texted her tag your turn happy birthday!! She responded with just a thank you.

I feel so disrespected and honestly confused. I am not sure what to do. I feel like he one foot in one foot out and I am not an insecure person but this is really messing with my head.

He tells me he loves me but after this i feel like im just a place holder.

How do i talk to him about this?

Comments

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1 upvotes, 0 direct replies

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Comment by Saleswatch at 06/02/2025 at 07:56 UTC

11 upvotes, 1 direct replies

Wait. You know exactly how his conversation with his ex went, there was nothing wrong with civilised conversation between people who know each other for years and you feel disrespected? How do you know what they were talking about? Did he hide this from you? Did you go through his phone? Are you tired of waving all these red flags?

He is with you. He did nothing wrong. Get a grip.

Comment by Repulsive_Visit2362 at 06/02/2025 at 08:23 UTC

10 upvotes, 0 direct replies

So he had a civilised conversation with her where they wished each other Happy Birthday and he asked how her family und dog is? Not everyone hates their exes and can hold a normal conversation with them without any other thoughts.

Comment by Larrynho at 06/02/2025 at 10:25 UTC*

3 upvotes, 0 direct replies

I am not an insecure person but this is really messing with my head

He tells me he loves me but after this i feel like im just a place holder.

100% INSECURE PERSON.

120% EVEN.

Grow up, you are 26.

Comment by cloudnineteen99 at 06/02/2025 at 08:22 UTC

2 upvotes, 0 direct replies

do you trust him? lack of trust and insecurity in the relationship will strain it a lot. I would let this one go and not make a big deal of it. you cant fully allow yourself to enjoy your relationship if you are constantly worried or jealous. it is a risk to fully trust someone, but if you are willing to accept it your realtionship will be stronger. if you do get hurt, he is not who you thought he was.

Comment by MatterHairy at 06/02/2025 at 10:54 UTC

2 upvotes, 0 direct replies

Based on the details you have provided- It’s a you problem, not a him problem.

Comment by Sevatars_father at 06/02/2025 at 08:19 UTC

2 upvotes, 0 direct replies

Maybe he's like me and likes to keep cordial relationships with his ex's. I don't want to feel bad about something that lasted 4 years. Also if I ever accidentally see them in person it won't be that weird.

If everything else is fine I wouldn't sweat it too much.

Comment by Ok_Introduction9466 at 06/02/2025 at 12:26 UTC

1 upvotes, 0 direct replies

Some people have amicable breakups and remain friendly with their exes. If you don’t like that then only date men who refuse to talk to their exes.

Comment by SpiritualFeed6622 at 06/02/2025 at 08:07 UTC

0 upvotes, 1 direct replies

Maybe he still loves her.

Comment by Rockin-Roxy at 06/02/2025 at 08:42 UTC

0 upvotes, 0 direct replies

She was being polite and he took her politeness as maybe they can be close friends or more. I would call him out tell him you feel disrespected. I would see how he responds and how is he otherwise before you break it off