3 upvotes, 3 direct replies (showing 3)
View submission: /r/philosophy Open Discussion Thread | January 27, 2020
I want to discuss about why we feel anxiety. I think anxiety is fundamentally caused by our desire for the reality to be in a certain way. It might be our acknowledgement of our inability to mold things in the way we desire, and how little control we have over all the arbitrary things of reality. We want things to be in certain manner but the anticipation of it to not being the way we imagined causes anxiety. For example, we all have anxiety regarding death, because we what we want is not to die obviously, but we cannot change the reality of death, it is forthcoming for everyone, and as we acknowledge the fact that we have no control over it but we want to be in a certain way, different than what it is, we feel anxiety. Another example, we feel anxiety while talking to a girl at bar or anywhere, because we want them to see us in the way we present ourselves to them, but we know that we have very little control over her judgement, and we cant control, hence gives rise to anxiety. Same can be said for the fear of public speaking. If we take more of a daily life things that gives us anxiety in this context, for example fear of not having money to pay for expenses, fear of the future, and fear of leaving a job that you hate but is the primary source of your income. Fundamentally, it all cones down to our realization of our lack of control over the things of reality, to mold it in the way we want it to be.
Comment by EveryNameWasTaken27 at 30/01/2020 at 09:45 UTC*
1 upvotes, 1 direct replies
Yes! Very interesting. I've always hold the thought that we only fear things that might hurt us, but I now see that this is an incomplete definition. There needs to be an element of trying to control, because fear means you try to get away from the source. I think that if we don't try, then there would be no fear.
Secondly, it also depends on the level of control we experience. If we feel in complete control, then the hurtful outcome can just be avoided, so fear is not needed.
To summarize, I believe there are 3 conditions for fear: -There is a threat -There is a incomplete amount of control -There is a trying to control
So in the analogy of talking to a girl, if you just completely gave up on trying to get her to perceive you a certain way, your feeling of fear would diminish to 0. Similarly, if you increased the amount of control you have over the situation by learning social techniques your fear would also diminish. Lastly, if you saw the rejection of her not as a threat to your own self-worth or reputation, there would also be no fear.
What do you guys think?
Comment by ishmilll at 30/01/2020 at 07:14 UTC
2 upvotes, 1 direct replies
i’ve thought of it similarly. though in an optimistic light it’s the thing that makes us introspect. if there was no anxiety or fear there wouldn’t be motivation to grow. if those feelings are prevalent when talking to a girl at a bar or speaking in public or thinking of death it’s like a signal that you should push yourself and grow and without growth there doesn’t seem to be a real purpose
Comment by waffleking_ at 29/01/2020 at 03:09 UTC
1 upvotes, 1 direct replies
I always thought of anxiety similarly. We realize that we have no control over the things that we want to control. The things we do control either are inconsequential or do not inherently positively impact us as people. I can go on a diet and lose 30 lbs, but that does not alone make me a happier person, or a more pleasant person, or a "smarter" person. The only difference in my view of it is that we have to assign value and usefulness to ourselves and what we do. It is not up to other people to determine if our passions have intrinsic value, but only ourselves.