A 97-Year-Old Philosopher Faces His Own Death (Herbert Fingarette, 1921-2018)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qX6NztnPU-4

created by franksvalli on 18/01/2020 at 15:03 UTC

975 upvotes, 24 top-level comments (showing 24)

Comments

Comment by franksvalli at 18/01/2020 at 15:03 UTC*

167 upvotes, 2 direct replies

Abstract:

97-year-old philosopher Herbert Fingarette (1921-2018) once argued that death is nothing to be afraid of, but as he grew older he reconsidered that approach.

"Death is a frightening thought. It's something I don't want to happen".

He lived a happy life, but as his wife died several years back, in a way he now finds half of himself missing. Her absence is a sort of presence weighing on his thoughts. He now asks himself often "what's the point?". "I think the answer - the silent answer - may be: there is no point; it's a foolish question."

"I've written books on a number of other topics. And in each case I felt that I had solved the problem. But this is not resolvable. It's not just a theoretical question for me, which so many things can be. It's one thing that is central in my existence that I have tried to come to terms with, and have failed."

Comment by almosthighenough at 18/01/2020 at 21:50 UTC

77 upvotes, 9 direct replies

That was an experience. I've thought about this a lot. Would you rather exist and suffer, or not exist and feel nothing and experience nothing. I'd almost rather when I die go to hell despite the eternal suffering. Not that I believe in it but I might rather suffer for eternity rather than not be.

Though I'm reconsidering this now because I've had a headache all morning and crying at this video made it so much worse. And I'd rather sleep than suffer now, and sleep is almost like a mini death. So maybe I'd rather not exist than suffer for eternity.

Comment by [deleted] at 18/01/2020 at 17:35 UTC

39 upvotes, 1 direct replies

the stoic approach to death is among the most practical i've come across

Comment by roberta_muldoon at 18/01/2020 at 19:10 UTC

8 upvotes, 0 direct replies

Thanks. It was good to have Herbert around me for that time.

Comment by Harlequin5942 at 19/01/2020 at 14:15 UTC

5 upvotes, 0 direct replies

In cognitive behavioural therapy, there is an idea called the Acceptance Paradox: if you have a strong emotion and try to force yourself to stop having that motion, then it becomes stronger. For instance, with the fear of death, trying to convince yourself that you shouldn't be afraid of it won't help at all. You don't want to die, so your unconscious mind will resist any efforts to persuade yourself otherwise.

Instead, accepting your feelings as part of your nature will paradoxically make them weaker and easier to manage. It will direct you back to your healthy preference for the good things of life, to be balanced against your healthy preference against the bad things, and enable you to feel sorrow, be sensibly cautious, and to value the time that you have. The fear of death becomes a motivating force for wise behaviour rather than an anxiety-provoking burden.

This is similar in some ways to Stoicism (accepting death) but with more emphasis on accepting the feelings, and distinguishing between a preference for the good things in life vs. a perplexing demand that you MUST live or else... ???

Fingarette's efforts to argue his way out the fear of death are admirably intellectual but not a good path towards managing the feeling.

Comment by [deleted] at 19/01/2020 at 17:04 UTC*

3 upvotes, 0 direct replies

As Fingarette lightly touched on when enjoying the flowers in his garden, perhaps the fear of dying does not rest in death itself, but in the worry that one had not fully lived.

Comment by redditknees at 18/01/2020 at 20:13 UTC

7 upvotes, 1 direct replies

This video is so moving. It is a great example of capturing the lived experience, something that I am trying to achieve of people living with type 1 diabetes as part of PhD dissertation.

Comment by roamtheplanet at 19/01/2020 at 04:44 UTC

8 upvotes, 0 direct replies

This life is a dream. A play of sorts. A game. That was depressing.

Comment by mpkilgus at 18/01/2020 at 21:58 UTC

11 upvotes, 2 direct replies

I'm 67 and got nothing out of this. Don't think he was really honest about why he was hanging on (my description). It was for me miss titled.

Comment by cthulhudidnthingwrng at 19/01/2020 at 03:29 UTC

4 upvotes, 0 direct replies

Thank you for posting this.

Comment by WishOneStitch at 19/01/2020 at 08:35 UTC

2 upvotes, 0 direct replies

"It's something that haunts me, the idea of dying soon..."

Comment by [deleted] at 18/01/2020 at 23:01 UTC

4 upvotes, 1 direct replies

Death is an experience in and of itself, and while terrifying, brings a fitting end to a chaotic existence. It's peaceful and infinite while life is catastrophic and short.

Perhaps we live for so little time as we do because any more would be too much.

It's difficult to say, but it seems this man found more reason to live than to die. Yet, wherein does the problem continue to exist for him now? It doesn't. And so the solution to the problem comes in acceptance, ironically concluded by his statement of an inability to come to terms with the phenomenon.

Comment by 3liPanda10 at 19/01/2020 at 06:00 UTC

3 upvotes, 0 direct replies

Tripping balls on mushrooms have made me accept death for what it is. A part of life. My opinion on it.

Comment by Guy_In_Florida at 19/01/2020 at 04:55 UTC

2 upvotes, 3 direct replies

It's strange to me that a philosopher was so flummoxed by his own mortality. What was the point of his own pedigree?

Comment by gargle_ground_glass at 19/01/2020 at 10:55 UTC

1 upvotes, 0 direct replies

As an aside, he wrote a great book on alcoholism, *Heavy Drinking: The Myth of Alcoholism as a Disease*

Comment by howars at 19/01/2020 at 11:19 UTC

1 upvotes, 0 direct replies

Wow, this is fascinating.

Comment by hononononoh at 25/01/2020 at 14:45 UTC

1 upvotes, 0 direct replies

Yeah I'm of two minds about this video. On the one hand, I respect Prof. Fingarette for his candor and bravery. What he is expressing cuts to the core of the human condition: We need meaning in our lives, but the harder we try to nail it down, the more elusive it becomes. I say brave because in my limited experience as a layperson with a love-hate relationship with philosophy, academic philosophy is a combative and adversarial pursuit, where it behooves one to not show weakness, check your feelings at the door, and maintain a front that one has life fairly well figured out.

Comment by BernardJOrtcutt at 18/01/2020 at 19:32 UTC

1 upvotes, 0 direct replies

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Comment by San_Pellegrino_ at 19/01/2020 at 08:45 UTC

1 upvotes, 0 direct replies

its all fun and games until the grim reapers pulls up lol

Comment by DeathToUsAllGodBless at 19/01/2020 at 06:11 UTC

1 upvotes, 0 direct replies

Well that wasn't informing. Basically the guy needs to start rippin the bong.

Comment by Metrorepublica at 19/01/2020 at 13:52 UTC

1 upvotes, 0 direct replies

This is a very valuable price of work...because we all think there is some hidden meaning to life that will reveal it's self even if we can't see it at any given time.

That like other things that happen as we grow...they revel themselves...like Sex..and our sexual nature..and Other things inside us...and how we heal...too...from injuries...things just happen ...we can think that because we are sort of made by life and matured...that life has something else prepared for us ...a meaning an afterlife...

.but l think that intelligence is a useful tool for life to get whatever it wants and after a certain point it becomes un-necessary to the project of life and we suffer...in a sense life losses interest in us after a certain age and it's up to us to give a meaning to our own lives...with our family / friends, pets and projects.

..but people are in the first place...we are social animals...we need people...as much as we need food or water...no people and we suffer even more.

Is it sad?

No...it is what it is...life is like a uninterested parent that never calls or visits or asks after their child after a certain point.

The child as they grow up has to learn to fend for its self and build a support network around itself to occupy the space left by the abstance of the shitty parent.