created by psych4you on 28/02/2025 at 13:26 UTC
41 upvotes, 26 top-level comments (showing 25)
I'm struggling. I've been drawn to the minimalist philosophy for a while, but I keep falling into the trap of buying things – often unnecessary things. It's like a constant cycle: I feel the urge to acquire, I buy, I feel temporary satisfaction, then I'm left with clutter and a sense of guilt. I understand the core principles of minimalism, but I'm having trouble translating them into consistent action. I think I might be dealing with some underlying issues related to impulse control or emotional spending. Has anyone else experienced this? How did you break the cycle? What practical strategies or mindset shifts helped you overcome the urge to buy? I'm looking for actionable advice and maybe some personal stories to help me get back on track. Thanks in advance.
Comment by CarnegieaGiganteaS at 28/02/2025 at 14:13 UTC
23 upvotes, 2 direct replies
I have a book collection and I let myself buy any book I want and by doing so I burn up my urge to aquire things. Like "Nah, I don't need it. I'd rather buy another book with the money"
Might not be exactly a minimalism act but I don't own anything other than necessities except for the books so it works for me :)
Comment by Responsible_Lake_804 at 28/02/2025 at 14:24 UTC
22 upvotes, 0 direct replies
You think about what your dream life looks like. You look around and FIRST you find the things you own that have no place in it. Then you sit there for a while and see how it feels to have taken that step to your dream life. Then you carefully think about what could be traded/upgraded.
For example my dream life contains a carefully curated closet with not too many options. I honestly don’t care about clothes that much but I work in an office now so I’d rather front-end the effort of getting dressed. I ditched 3 polyester sweaters from H&M for 1 thrifted wool sweater. I could’ve spent my mornings deciding between which of the three I could make office-appropriate, but now I pull the nice one on and go.
Another example of my dream life is that I spend a lot of time outdoors with my dog. We don’t need much to do that. Water bottle, collapsible dish, orange jacket for her during hunting season, boots and tennis shoes for me. I get a state park sticker for Christmas and we are set. That’s literally all it takes, no fancy outfits for either of us or weird water bottle holsters or packing systems.
Comment by isawamagpie at 28/02/2025 at 15:06 UTC
20 upvotes, 2 direct replies
Loads of good advice here.. what started me was the actual decluttering. Have you started decluttering? Getting rid, donating, selling, repurposing? It's a journey you cannot rush.. I am still fighting the buying urge too 5 months in. It's takes time to undo ingrained habits. You'll find the getting rid part gives that dopamine hit that you get from buying... Then you start becoming more mindful of what you start bringing in
Comment by Leading-Confusion536 at 28/02/2025 at 13:50 UTC
34 upvotes, 0 direct replies
You have to become disgusted enough with wasting all that money, and time working for that money, and the effort taking care of and managing all that stuff, and finally getting rid of the stuff. It ain't easy! All the waste on so many levels. Next time you want to buy something, tell yourself to buy a little bit of freedom instead, and put the money in savings / investments.
Comment by Sensitive_Engine469 at 28/02/2025 at 13:41 UTC
24 upvotes, 0 direct replies
find the book Goodbye, Things by Fumio Sasaki, its like a practical guide book for minimalism.
Comment by Timely_Froyo1384 at 28/02/2025 at 15:17 UTC
10 upvotes, 0 direct replies
Delete all forms of payment methods and shopping apps off your phone is a good start.
Writing out a budget and only spend what is on there.
When you feel the need to buy something, instead of buying it this minute write it on your grocery shopping list. This helps for a cool down period.
Spring cleaning and organizing can also help. Like if you have 20 bottles of lotion but they’re all over the place you don’t see the volume. So group them all together and don’t buy more lotion till those are gone.
Comment by kyuuei at 28/02/2025 at 16:40 UTC*
8 upvotes, 0 direct replies
You have spent a lifetime steeped in consumerism. Spend a while steeping yourself in anticonsumption instead. Just changing what you're surrounding yourself with, experience, and listen to, will help a Ton.
We are inundated with advertising. Millions of dollars put into efficiently ensuring we are prone to buying things. But we can also wiggle free of that ourselves! We just need conscious, actionable choices.
Also.. Everyone has triggers. Boredom, stress, friends showing off a thing.. Whatever your trigger is, you need to recognize them and then Interrupt your normal action.
Boredom > Go on Tiktok > See tiktok shop stuff > Buy item
needs to turn into
Boredom > Feel the urge for tiktok/click on it > Say out loud "nah not today" and click off > Do something else that gives you joy... Anything. Rewatching your favorite show. Whatever.
Comment by weedgaze at 28/02/2025 at 18:46 UTC
8 upvotes, 1 direct replies
I do this by removing the dopaminergic reward of purchasing. When you feel the impulse to buy something introduce as much doubt as possible. For myself, I need a new task chair. I have an old Herman Miller and it's completely falling apart on me. I could go into an office supplier and drop $1000-2000 on a replacement at any time and feel a rush of dopamine. I've had this desire to replace it for over a year now (since it got a huge tear in the fabric and arm rests began crumbling) but I've still not replaced it. I've managed this by removing the dopaminergic spike I get by thinking about replacing it by inserting as much doubt as possible into the decision. I could buy the exact same chair as I already have but is that the *right* chair? Should I instead buy a Steelcase Leap (that I use at my office)? I like that chair just as much. Or maybe I should go with the HM Embody. Which lumbar system do I want? What colourway? Am I going to regret getting this one over the other? My chair is out of warranty but I'm pretty sure I can order another seat tray and armrest from my local HM supplier and that would be much cheaper. If I go that route, should I get the fully articulating armrests again or go with the ones which are only height-adjustable? I don't really use the armrests much anyway so maybe I can save some cash and go more basic. Maybe I can just take the cover off the seat tray and have a local tailor sew something together with a different upholstery fabric for much cheaper.
See, I've built up what could have been an impulsive $1000-2000 purchase into something which requires a lot more consideration, and now I'm overwhelmed by analysis paralysis. I still want to replace the chair but it's no longer something I get a dopamine spike about fantasizing about, and I can make a more rational decision. It's no longer a priority. I can chill out and check Facebook Marketplace for a used one now and then and snap one up if a good deal comes along, but otherwise when I think about it I just go "ah well, too many options. I'll deal with it later" and buying a new one seems ridiculous.
My car is also falling apart. It's a 1998 Subaru Forester. I have enough money to buy a new car in cash. I've been fantasizing about a 4runner or Land Cruiser for years. But my 1998 still runs, despite its check engine light and blown struts. Despite its fucked-to-death paint and dent. Whenever the desire to pull the trigger on a 4runner comes up I intentionally overwhelm myself with options and the possibility of making the wrong decision takes away that desire. I will buy a new 4runner at some point. But I will do it when my current vehicle is no longer repairable.
I do this with smaller purchases as well. If there's something I do actually need I over-research it, think about it for days. Remove all joy from the purchase. Then delay longer. If it's something I actually do need, I buy it. But I do so without an emotions attached.
Comment by Erialcatteyy at 28/02/2025 at 14:18 UTC*
12 upvotes, 0 direct replies
Not a minimalist book- but “the life changing magic of tidying up” is what initially sparked my journey, and helped me get rid of 90% of my belongings back in 2019.
“Goodbye things” is also great read that is about minimalism.
Additionally I began learning about sustainability and how all the crap people produce and consume affects the environment. I’d also recommending reading “the story of stuff”, I believe there may also be a video version.
These 3 books all drastically changed my mindset! Also picking up hobbies to fill the void and deleting/limiting social media so I don’t have time to shop or be influenced to purchase things. Detaching who I am from what I own.
Another helpful thing when I want to buy something is calculating how many hours of work it will cost me (for example buying x item costs about 1 whole days paycheck). This often makes me reconsider purchases.
Last book I would recommend is “the gentle art of Swedish death cleaning” when we pass on we leave behind all our earthy belongings- do you really want to burden your children/friends/family with all your “stuff” you’ve collected over your lifetime? What really matters? What do you actually need, use, or thing would actually have value to someone in your life once you’re gone?
Comment by VIJoe at 28/02/2025 at 14:08 UTC
5 upvotes, 1 direct replies
For me, I often need to put roadblocks between me and the things that I might do but don't want to do. Here are things that come to mind for me:
Comment by undercoverwolfdog at 28/02/2025 at 17:21 UTC
6 upvotes, 0 direct replies
Once I realized how often I’d buy items only to give them away later, or not even enjoy them after a few days, I accepted that the fantasies I made in my head about material items were not true. Once I let go of that desire, I felt a lot happier with less and not feeling controlled.
You’re on the right track by simply acknowledging you want to change. Be patient with yourself.
I had to go through a “detox” phase- no visiting the mall, no browsing shopping apps (delete them), no going to outlet stores. After a while I gained a better self control and now when I’m tempted to buy something, I can go through the thought process about what am I going to do with this item, and whether I can predict that I will regret it and toss it. It gets easier. Shopping dependency used to be a HUGE problem for me but now I only buy groceries, clothes (intentionally), gifts for friends (that I already know they wanted), and art supplies for my business. I believe in you!!
Comment by 7wing8 at 28/02/2025 at 20:03 UTC
5 upvotes, 0 direct replies
Transparently, I haven't read the other comments on this thread, but I feel compelled to weigh in, because your statements, "I think I might be dealing with some underlying issues related to impulse control or emotional spending. Has anyone else experienced this? How did you break the cycle? What practical strategies or mindset shifts helped you overcome the urge to buy? I'm looking for actionable advice and maybe some personal stories to help me get back on track.", resonate with me.
I'm pain avoidant by nature (enneagram 7w8, as evidenced in my username), and one of the ways I chose to cover up pain was by very frequent thrift store trips. For me, it wasn't the buying, but simply the shopping and the thrill of the hunt, which did the trick. I'm actually a bit of a minimalist, but I've always enjoyed swapping things out with regularity, always looking for the optimal possessions versus quantity.
That being said, I've found that two things have recently changed in my life:
1. Painful moments still exist in my life and always will, but so much of giving the pain more life than it deserves has to do with living in the future or the past and dwelling on things that haven't come to pass. So dealing with the feelings in the moment (i.e. living in the present) haa really helped me. If you're a Christian, that might be giving the burden/emotion to Jesus and telling him the truth about how you're feeling (confession) about and asking him what he wants you to know about it in that moment, then listening for a response (repentance). If you're not a Christian, it may look more like taking a deep breath or two, acknowledging that that's how you're feeling, and releasing yourself from that emotion and finding perspective about how you're actually feeling.
2. Healthy habits. This is funny, but I've worked in a gym for the last 18 months, but I didn't start working out until two weeks ago. (crazy, I know) I found that on days that I worked out or did a physical activity, I was less prone to want to go to thrift stores as a mechanism for easing the pain. Not sure what that might be for you, but "touching grass" moments might help to ground you in the present and help break the cycle of needing to buy things to deal with the underlying emotion. The key is to find something that's as easy for you to do as the shopping. Either way, taking a moment when you feel the desire arise, becoming aware of how you're feeling, and then taking action accordingly is going to help.
Not sure if any of that is helpful, but it's helped me, so I thought I'd pass it along.
Comment by aricaia at 01/03/2025 at 00:02 UTC
5 upvotes, 0 direct replies
I think becoming more frugal helped me to really cut off buying things. It was less about minimalism at that point. Perhaps look into the benefits of investing or saving for the future and it’ll help your minimalism journey!
Comment by Tornado_Of_Benjamins at 28/02/2025 at 15:48 UTC
3 upvotes, 0 direct replies
I have three suggestions of various flavors, so you can pursue the one(s) that seem most relevant for you.
1: https://youtube.com/@shawnaripari?feature=shared
Comment by MintyVapes at 01/03/2025 at 00:36 UTC
4 upvotes, 0 direct replies
Same as any other addiction: You have to get so disgusted with it that the disgust outweighs any benefit you get from continuing down the path you're on.
Comment by Rengeflower1 at 28/02/2025 at 14:52 UTC
3 upvotes, 0 direct replies
Advice that I see regularly is to “shop” online, move it to the “buy cart”, and log out. Never buy, just shop.
If your problem is physical purchases, enact a “Not today” policy. You can only buy things today that you decided on yesterday. Need to go grocery shopping tomorrow? Make a list. Only buy those things. Need a new pair of pants because the ones you have are old? Go buy pants. Only pants.
Over time, the urge to shop will go down. My weakness is physical shopping, so I don’t do it. If I’m not in a store, I won’t buy anything.
The Covid lockdowns help end the shopping obsession. First, I couldn’t go out anyway. Second, millions of people died. What’s the point in buying useless things? Will this item make me happy for more than a day? Maybe don’t buy it.
Comment by wiserTyou at 28/02/2025 at 16:36 UTC*
3 upvotes, 0 direct replies
With almost every purchase I make, I do research. I rarely shop sales unless it's something I've already considered buying. I have a distaste for cheap things.
A few recent examples are ...
1. A decent 8 inch chef's knife. I'm by no means a good cook but I did a good amount of research into quality steel and brands and consulted a few friends who were actual chefs. Ended up with a 100 dollar knife from a restaurant supply that will last my lifetime, rather than a Walmart knife set that will only last a few years.
2. 5 gal water dispenser. After years of never having water because I forgot to refill the Britta or buy new filters. I frequently purchased water from convenience store. Added everything up and three 5 gallon jugs is far more water and cheaper than my current lifestyle. 3 jugs per month delivered to my door is the same price as buying them from the store. Problem solved and I always have cold clean water.
3. Soda stream seltzer maker. I put a lot of thought into it and considered a diy solution but convenience won. I stocked up on c02 for a year. I now have an almost unlimited supply of seltzer which is great because I mostly drink that and water at home. Problem solved not for life, but for a long time.
I personally get great satisfaction out of really considering if something I buy improves my life or provides a lasting benefit.
There are dozens of things I considered and didn't buy because they didn't meet that threshold. Not spending money on them is why I was able to drop almost $500 to solve my water problem.
Instead of shopping for a good deal, shop for a good purchase or life improvement, the delayed gratification pays off.
I'm currently considering a decent bicycle. Specifically if I will use it enough to justify it and if so which one is the best purchase with a $1k budget.
I generally don't let salesman steer me, I do my own research. I have been persuaded before but since I do the research they would have to provide very good reasons why.
Edit: I also don't hang onto things I don't use. Books and clothes I donate. More expensive items I generally gift to friends family or coworkers. I hate selling things and I hang onto the vaste majority of my purchases since they were well considered, so the money lost is minimal.
One wasteful purchase was a battery vacuum cleaner which I never remembered to recharge, replaced it with an 80 dollar corded one. I gifted the battery one to a coworker that struggles a bit financially.
Comment by katanayak at 28/02/2025 at 21:05 UTC
3 upvotes, 0 direct replies
Depending on how bad it is you might want to speak with a therapist and try tome DBT skills. But, lets assume its 1 step below therapy.
View this cycle as an "addiction", and what youre addicted to is the dopamine rush of instant gratification from buying something new. So you gotta kill the addiction, change the behavior, and keep tabs on it to prevent it from happening again.
1. kill the addiction
Anyone who's quit anything will tell you that the best way to quit an addiction is cold turkey. So try a no-buy month, where you are only allowed to spend money on groceries and gas (and bills, duh). No eating out, no drinks at bars, no clothes or trinkets, nada. Only groceries and gas, You cannot buy any non-essential items.
2. change the behavior
Avoid going to places where you feel tempted to buy. You dont see many sober alcoholics hanging out in the club, do ya? Avoid thrift stores, garage sales and estate sales, discount stores like marshalls or ross, everything stores like walmart and target, maybe even sign out of your amazon account on your phone. If you need to, try locking your credit cards or emptying your debit account and only using cash. Make a list before shopping and only buy whats on the list, even if something else "comes up".
3. keep tabs and prevent
You could do a successful no buy month and then just go right back into the habit of impulse spending if you dont address the root of the problem and make deeper change within youself. Listen to yourself and your emotions when you feel the itch to spend. Replace the spending dopamine with something else. Try going for a walk, calling your mom, or snuggling your pet. There are many other ways to get a dopamine rush that are not as destructive to your mental space or your wallet as impulse spending.
Good luck
Comment by Grkipo at 28/02/2025 at 23:45 UTC
3 upvotes, 0 direct replies
Find a hobby. Something new to focus energy for positive engagement. I find shopping fills the "something to do" gap and that really we just need to fund something else as our go to for something to do when we do have free time.
Comment by skyandclouds1 at 28/02/2025 at 23:58 UTC
3 upvotes, 0 direct replies
Try selling your stuff online.
When you realize no one wants it, lower the price. Sometimes you have to lower it all the way to zero. Sometimes you have to go out of your way to deliver something for a few bucks.
This will teach you the actual value of things.
When you buy things again, you'll think about its actual value.
Worked for me.
I have a hard time of letting things go and I have trouble with getting away from 'deals'.
I stopped buying things and a lot of things have been sold or given away to people online. It's sooooo hard to turn stuff into money so now I really think twice before I buy anything.
My house is still messy to me. It's a long process. But I'm changing myself through all of this, and this is the only way my spending habits changed in a meaningful way.
Comment by PsychNeurd2 at 01/03/2025 at 06:40 UTC
3 upvotes, 0 direct replies
You have to become conscious of the triggers which cause you to buy. Are you subbed to a lot of company email lists? Do you “window shop” during your free time? Do you open Amazon during your lunch break? Did Instagram show you something? Did someone on YT suggest it? Do you shop when you want to avoid a certain emotion?
Once you figure out the triggers, you can eliminate them and not buying will become easy.
Comment by AshamedOfMyTypos at 01/03/2025 at 12:39 UTC
3 upvotes, 0 direct replies
Every time I nearly purchase something but instead say no, I transfer half of that amount into a savings account.
Number go up, me receive instant gratification. Number go up enough, me take fun trip.
Comment by Lavender_ballerina at 02/03/2025 at 12:11 UTC
3 upvotes, 1 direct replies
It’s much easier to replace a habit than it is to just eliminate a habit. If you tell yourself “I’m not going to buy things anymore” you’re going to end up just feeling bored and deprived. Instead, you could discover better ways to use your money.
I tried for YEARS to adopt a minimalist approach and it wasn’t until I learned about investing that it became a cinch to stop spending. I wasn’t taught financial literacy at school or by my family so I had no idea that people could create enough income to live off just by investing!
I used to frequently go on $300+ shopping sprees and now it’s hard for me to find anything to impulsively spend on that seems worth it.
I’ve noticed that many minimalists tend to prioritize travel, education, and hobbies as well.
You need to find something that ignites your passion beyond just having stuff.
Comment by GME_Elitist at 28/02/2025 at 16:44 UTC
5 upvotes, 0 direct replies
Start collecting dollar bills. Every denomination. Make the stacks bigger every month.
Comment by Traditional_Lynx5880 at 01/03/2025 at 11:59 UTC
2 upvotes, 1 direct replies
You could use the idea of replacement, buy one thing and throw away another and you will always stay in a constant minimalism seeing it as an endless cycle.