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View submission: Monthly Progress Thread - November '24
Month 2
I still feel like I'm tremoring as day one sometimes, I let it happen move to the upper body, even if I think that I staged it too much, but maybe it's just too much self-consciousness. I started this practice in the bed, then I switched into the floor, and nowadays back into the bed, because I feel too cold in the floor now for tremoring, which is ironic.
On the bed now I feel good and comfortable doing TRE, I like especially doing it under a sheet because I feel it gives me more intimacy with my body, then when I feel that the tremor starts, I start doing a simple breathing technique called box breathing which helps me to relax completely in the process and not controlling the tremor. Also I always tell myself something like "I trust you (my body) to relieve me, as always" at the start ahahahahah. This comes natural to me, but even this preparatory sentence has switched, I remember when I started it had more like master-servant connotation and it switched gradually into something more bonding. Well, doing this practice repeatedly for 20 minutes at night changed my mood throughout the day noticeably, but assuredly it is a combination of other factors as well. The first word to describe the effect of TRE is "expansion", I feel more open to experiences and the feeling of impeding threath from them shrunk a little, what encompasses this changes is something that feels like a breeze passing into my skull, which is strange but gives me relief, I don't know if it's actually connected to TRE but It seems natural to me to associate the two together. Also more feelings of "warmth", this is clear to me especially in the night, like in the middle of the night in the past I used to wake up suddenly with sorts of all strange convulsions and stress in the body, also an intense feeling of shock. But now when it happens I feel kinda electric in a good way ahahahahah. So yeah, I gained lots of benefits, altough fundamentally I behave the same, though I'm more invested into personal projects that involves creative stuff. I feel bad not concluding with any "negatives", like how the practice didn't made me more connected with my feelings of rage and sorrow, but hey, it's only two months, I have to see and still a lot of work to do. Buried sensations came to the surface but I don't think they were related to traumatic events. Like specific mindscapes from my teenager years and childhood when I used to retreat into solitude. I appreaciate mildly this kind of stuff but I don't think is negative per se, it makes me more nostalgic for sure though ahahahah, it's like a bittersweet aftertaste, sometimes so intense that it was like I could touch it. Thanks to this for two weeks atmost I had a blast living the days because it made me feel distinctly from the rest of the other days, like every day was a new day.
There's nothing here!