https://www.reddit.com/r/longtermTRE/comments/1giognx/monthly_progress_thread_november_24/
created by Nadayogi on 03/11/2024 at 14:46 UTC
35 upvotes, 16 top-level comments (showing 16)
Dear friends, in this post I want to elaborate on a topic that is near and dear to me: awareness.
Awareness is the canvas on which we experience the movie of life and all that we perceive through the filter of our mind and senses. Awareness itself doesn't do anything. It just is. The untrained mind naturally likes to move our awareness to thoughts and internal dialogue where it easily gets lost in endless loops. At some point we snap out of it only to notice that we've been lost in thought for some time, with little awareness of what has happened outside of us. Maybe you were driving home from work and just realized you arrived safely without having much memory of what happened during your drive, as if you were on autopilot. We have all experienced this to some extent.
As human beings we have the ability of consciously moving this awareness to where we want. We can move it within our mind to certain thoughts, feelings or emotions, but we can also choose to focus our awareness to the body. For example we can guide our awareness to the toes of our left foot and just observe without judging the sensations that arise. Maybe there's tension, heaviness or tingling. There might also be lightness, heat or pleasure. Maybe all these feelings are alternating. Whatever appears on the canvas of our awareness, we have the option to let it arise and pass away in dispassion.
Grounding our awareness in our body has a strongly calming and healing effect. Many somatic modalities use techniques (often called body scanning) where awareness is rotated throughout the body, going from one body part to the next, just infusing it with awareness and letting arise whatever wants to arise and just observing it. These kinds of meditation methods can be very powerful on their own, but also when coupled with TRE or other somatic modalities. The difference to other meditation techniques that focus on concentration is that body scanning doesn't raise any additional energy and therefore doesn't tend to strain the nervous system that is trying to heal. Instead it acts as a balm after a TRE session.
Still, the idea here is not to go into body scanning meditation with the goal to calm your body and mind. Maybe you are ten minutes into the meditation, only to find unpleasant feelings arise that make you more agitated. The goal is to allow all sensations, emotions and feelings to arise and give them the space needed. Also, maybe you'll find that you just don't enjoy doing body scanning. That's OK too. You can always pick it up further down your healing journey, and at some point it will naturally become rewarding and pleasurable. It's just a matter of progress in TRE and how many blockages we still carry.
There's even more use to work with awareness when it comes to daily life. It can help us become conscious of patterns that we were completely unaware of so far. Think of stressful or emotionally charged situations where it is all too easy to lash out and say hurtful things to others only to deeply regret it afterwards when the charge has dissipated. With some training we can become reflexively become aware when situations like these arise, be it in traffic during our daily commute to work, in an argument with our spouse or while playing multiplayer video games. We can then choose to let the emotions come up and just observe them until they dissipate on their own without acting them out. When things become too challenging we can also anchor our awareness in the body, holding it there and letting its calming effect take over until the storm has passed.
There are countless books and videos on this topic and I implore you to dive into it. In my opinion one of the best books that beautifully illustrates and explains these techniques is The Mindful Way through Depression. Honestly, I find the title a bit misleading because the premise of the book applies to almost all human beings, not just those going through depression. A better title would be The Mindful Way through Life.
I hope this helps. Much love and blessings. Now let's hear from you how you've been doing. The stage is yours.
Comment by celibatepowder at 03/11/2024 at 20:10 UTC
20 upvotes, 0 direct replies
In the last days I gained a sense of calmness which wasnt there before. It came after beeing hit with a wave of emotions and fears all in one evening. Also I think I became more open and acceptable as I dont judge as much as I used to even compared to last month and I am more kind to people who I didnt like before.
I had also lots of movements in the back of my head and shoulders this month. I sometimes feel shy when at home and press my chin to my chest. I probably still have lots of blockages around this area but Im glad because this means I havent released everything yet and life will feel so much better after releasing everything. Also its always so interesting how you grow as a person and see a new perspective after releasing trauma.
Comment by elianabear at 04/11/2024 at 17:16 UTC
20 upvotes, 2 direct replies
14 months
The biggest positive change I’ve noticed this month is a big reduction in anxiety. My usual worries range from more realistic to catastrophic: not having health insurance or money, to another Holocaust happening and losing all my loved ones. This chatter has quieted down as I feel safer and more secure, and that I can have security consistently and not as some kind of fluke, waiting for the rug to be pulled out from under me.
My husband and I have decided to start trying for a baby. Ideally I would love to be at the end stages of TRE before conceiving, but I don’t know when that will be, and I feel more ready and wanting pregnancy and motherhood. This is a huge step as the past years have felt like running up a down escalator trying to take care of myself and be functional, and now I feel capable of caring not just for myself but for another being. The progress is remarkable. If it takes a while to get pregnant I’m OK with this as I can do more TRE and pass down less to my future child. My mother had fertility issues (I’m an IVF baby)- I wonder if it was caused by trauma, and if it will be easier for me given the healing I’ve done? If anyone on this sub has experience with fertility/pregnancy and TRE I’d love to hear, please leave a comment!
I’ve had some more feel good and contented moments this month, but more scarcely than the past few months as some rough things have been going on in my personal life. One such stress is that I’m in between jobs at the moment and have no direction. I want to feel productive and bring in income, but I don’t want to return to the administrative office jobs I was working before the summer. I felt okay working these office jobs as I had no drive or motivation to pursue a more fulfilling career given my poor mental health, but now that my mental health is better I’m in a tricky spot of wanting more but not knowing what direction to take, but also not wanting to settle.
Comment by aryan4170 at 04/11/2024 at 02:58 UTC
18 upvotes, 1 direct replies
1 year in. Recently I’ve been practicing 1-3h per day, along with lots of quiet time and long walks in the woods. Sometimes I also throw in a Wim Hof breathing if I feel like it.
A lot of heavy emotions are being processed these days, mostly shame, guilt and disgust of who I am as a person. I often feel depressed as a result, very tired and nauseous but also more at ease and clear headed. Thankfully, things are still much better than they had been in the last few months.
The tension in my neck is getting much softer and the blockages in the rest of my body are lighter too. I don’t feel much terror or anxiety anymore and find it easier to let go.
I don’t tremor during wim hof breathing or meditation anymore. I usually lay flat and try to relax my body as much as possible like the post describes, which leads to a trance like state where energy flows around and my body becomes still. The more I relax the more the energy increases but it also can cause a lot of nausea and dizziness, like the room is spinning, or anxiety. Some days when my system is more open, I can feel ecstatic energy from my root going up my spine and can circulate it to an extent. Its mildly exhilarating sometimes but mostly just aids with purification.
Comment by Soft-Competition-740 at 06/11/2024 at 16:27 UTC
16 upvotes, 2 direct replies
I've been practicing TRE very sporadically for 2.5 years, but only have truly started taking it seriously in the past 8 weeks. That is because it became clear in the past two months that TRE was drastically changing the way that I experience sex, making it a much more enjoyable experience. I thought my sex life was pretty good before, but some things from the past that were hanging on have definitely been resolved. I can go into more details about this, if anyone's curious--it is like my vagina has been upgraded lol. I also have days now where I feel freer, lighter, and like I am able to engage with the world in a more authentic and relaxed state.
In the past month, the way that I experience physical touch with my body has continued to change. Aside from the sexual changes, I have noticed that I am less ticklish, as an example. I used to be extremely ticklish on my feet, and just a bit jumpy in general, and during a massage recently, my husband was able to touch my feet--amazing. I also have moments where I can taste food better in my mouth--I notice the taste and sensation of food toward the back of my tongue and want to chew my food slower and more fully. I've felt this feeling before when high on edibles, and it's pretty great, so it's wonderful to be able to experience these things in my day-to-day life without ingesting cannabis. I have found that edibles supercharge a lot of the TRE/sensation stuff, and I'm sad to be out of them (I live in a state where they're hard to come by, but I'll probably be able to get some more in the next month or so, so yay).
I came to TRE not for myself, but as a possible help for my husband, who has PTSD and suffered a severe mental breakdown 2.5 years ago (he's much better now, thankfully). He is also starting to dabble with TRE, after seeing the profoundly positive changes I have experienced. Aside from giving birth to my daughter, TRE is probably the most spiritual thing I have ever experienced, and I am not at all a woo-woo type of person, nor am I really religious. But this stuff is amazing, and I am very grateful to this community for its wisdom and support.
Comment by Acrobatic_Shoe6403 at 04/11/2024 at 20:00 UTC
11 upvotes, 0 direct replies
I had a bit of a set back this month physically with some excruciating heel/ foot pain which I am pretty sure was down to something realigning in my hips. My body had been getting used to the “new world order” I suppose and it’s settled mostly after a couple of weeks.
My shoulders and rib cage are really getting involved in the party. My heart space is loosening up. The tremors are still there whenever I’m at rest and are imperceptible from the outside.
I noticed that in a recent “mum”s night out” I had really uncomfortable back pain which I was able to tremor away then and there without anyone noticing. I’m realising that some social situations aren’t actually comfortable for me and I do a lot of masking and this is causing me back pain in the moment. I’m grateful to be aware of this is a thing for me.
I’m doing block therapy here and there and want to increase the frequency. Breathwork is still part of my routine.
On the whole I’m feeling happy and emotionally regulated - physically my fascia armour continues to unwind and I am able to feel and connect with more of my body.
Comment by Spirited_Language532 at 05/11/2024 at 01:36 UTC*
12 upvotes, 1 direct replies
I have an update, and a question in bold below!
I started TRE around a month ago, and the effects are INSANE.
The tight collarbone I used to have for YEARS? Gone.
I'm remembering more dreams, and my startle reflex is slightly reduced.
I notice MUCH more energy, so much I almost don't know what to do with myself, because I used to be low energy and set up my life around that.
I also feel WAY more mentally sharp and sociable, like I was as a kid, except honestly more so. If anyone is into Myers Briggs, I thought I was an INTP, but I've become basically an ENTJ.
However, I've noticed that if I take a day off, I'm just drained/fatigued to the extreme with a slight headache, for the following day or so after that, then I'm fine again. But when I do it even a little each day, I don't get hit by these exhaustion days. I only do 5 to 12 minutes per day at most, because I tremor VERY easily, and my body naturally stops within that time frame.
So, would I be safe to do it every day, just for like 5 minutes? Or would it guarantee destroy my nervous system without me knowing?
Also, if I do need full integration days, can I do block therapy on those days, or does that tax the nervous system the same way TRE does? Thanks to anyone who can help!
Comment by Sudo_b4sh at 07/11/2024 at 08:34 UTC
10 upvotes, 0 direct replies
18th month
Had a release around the heart/rib cage this month, which has changed the way I experience feelings. It has not settled yet, so I find it hard to describe. The tremor is trying to get through the neck now, which is intense. It’s daunting to think how much tension is up there. It’s like trying to get through steel wires. But I’m pretty optimistic, at some point you get used to the up’s and down’s.
Comment by [deleted] at 04/11/2024 at 03:31 UTC*
9 upvotes, 0 direct replies
I've been doing TRE for almost 2 months and EMDR for 6 months - so I'm pacing mixed modalities.
I feel like things are loosening things up more rapidly since introducing TRE and am tempted to convert completely sometimes, but at this stage have just slowed the pace of EMDR. On nights I do TRE I'm able to fall asleep without flashbacks and intrusive thoughts keeping me up most of the night and I am dreaming about some of my trauma - while that part isn't pleasant, my gut feel is that I'm getting to a place where I am actually able to process it.
I'm still playing around with tremor time, but I've taken to shaking easily and it moves up my body when it needs to. I find that 15 min equals a decent release and then I take 5 days for integration. I wouldn't mind more regular sessions, if at a shorter time (for the sleeping benefits) - but if I do 10 min the release feels incomplete e.g. I feel like I need to cry but can't, I feel angry but I'm not sure it's coming to the surface. I'm not sure if I've gotten used to big releases with EMDR so neither of these tremor times feel as dysregulating as that.
For integration, I walk in nature almost daily and find that clearing my chakras (listening to Tibetan sound bowls) helps to dispel the energy brought up more easily. There was a period before clearing my chakras where I would be swearing at everyone I passed under my breath because I was just so ANGRY at everyone. A nice peek at coming out of freeze but also not great lol.
I tried Wim Hoff after reading last months progress update, but found that just made me anxious. I've also started playing around with fascia unwinding (not with tremors yet) and it helped release an achy body from food reactions symptoms. So I'll continue with that.
Thanks for this amazing community. This is a really supportive and thoughtful sub.
Comment by Creative_Accident655 at 05/11/2024 at 13:29 UTC
8 upvotes, 1 direct replies
I'm only one month into it, and since the very first time, tremors started in my whole body, especially my hips, abdomen and shoulders.
I feel benefits, lower back pain reduces, start to remember dreams...
And I notice, some of the practitioners doing 10, 20, 30 minutes of tremors...
My experience after 5 minutes is that tremors are very intensive, I become fully sweaty, half of the time trying to catch the breath... And then, I decide to stop..
Does anyone have the same experience? Is it okay to stop like this or why are they so intensive?
Thanks to everyone who writes about their experiences and thanks to god that I've found about TRE on this sub for the first time, when it was very necessary for myself.
Comment by CPTSDandTRE at 03/11/2024 at 20:29 UTC
16 upvotes, 0 direct replies
14 months in.
My first deep tremor happened 5 months ago, so 9 months in.
I recently discovered that the reason deep tremors weren't showing up often is because I did not feel super comfortable/safe where I was doing TRE.
I feel much safer at my grandma's house in the countryside.
Here I do both the butterfly pose and with both the soles of my feet flat on the ground with knees bent.
I usually stay anywhere between 40min to 1.5 hours laying down because the tremors only show up for a fraction of the time.
I feel more alert, more energy and with more clarity of thought compared to when I first began practicing TRE.
Can't wait for the tremor to show up in my chest and neck, which is where I hold most of the tension.
Thanks, u/nadayogi, I appreciate the write-up.
Comment by The_Rainbow_Ace at 06/11/2024 at 12:11 UTC*
8 upvotes, 0 direct replies
Month 5.
The optimal practice time for me still seems to be 5-10 mins for a single session and then a day or two integration time.
Slow mindful walking, 'Do Nothing' meditation, listening to calming music, and every day use of my grounding mat really helps with the integration between sessions.
The biggest change this month is that now when initiating the butterfly starting position the tremors jump straight to my upper body, shoulders, neck and jaw.
This is the second month running where if I experience a very stressful situation I automatically now tremor, so that new major stresses are not being added to the trauma 'backlog'. This is exactly how I think nature intended neurogenic tremors to work.
I have also started journaling everyday - this really helps seeing the patterns of potential overdoing it.
Comment by A1dam at 05/11/2024 at 13:15 UTC*
8 upvotes, 0 direct replies
6th month
I haven't practiced regularly this month, so it was less than 15 mins every other day. I haven't noticed any changes in tremoring, still mainly legs with 10s of seconds of core few times each session.
Last month I had swelled nose for almost whole month. I wasn't sure if it was a sickness or just energy, but I think it was energy working on some blocks. This month this swelling has moved to throat and I coughed out lot of phlegm each morning. At the end of the month, the swelling moved again, this time to the back of the head (probably occipital lymph node). The swelling is not comfortable, but after a few weeks, I got used to it.
I was at a place where we slept together in one room with 10 other people for multiple days. I usually have hard time falling asleep like that, and need to wait for everyone else to fall asleep so I can relax and fall asleep as well. It's because I don't want to disturb anyone while they are falling asleep by making any noise. This also happened last year, when I was at this place. But this year I was able to fall asleep easily and didn't care about disturbing other people at all. I almost didn't notice this change, even though I had this problem since forever.
This month I want to experiment with doing TRE for 1-3mins each day after work, since that is the time I need release the most. This will be in addition to 15 mins every other day.
Comment by pepe_DhO at 11/11/2024 at 19:11 UTC*
7 upvotes, 0 direct replies
Month 10
Routine: six days a week, 30 minutes of tremoring and 20 minutes for integration (lying down on a mat). This month, I resumed standing tremoring, alongside brief daily power releases (30 to 60 seconds each).
Trauma, Tension, Energy & Pleasure: Recently, I shortened my integration time, which had been my primary focus over the past months, due to reaching a plateau in energy flow and pleasantness, and also because my seated meditation practice has also progressed. Key observations this month: (1) Tremors take longer to ignite, often preceded by fascia unwinding and targeted contractions before tremoring fully begins. (2) Standing tremors often initiate with contractions in the chest or shoulders, followed by my body attempting to release these tensions through familiar Tai Chi-like circling motions. Tremors sometimes arise; at other times, they don’t. (3) Neck and head rolls are showing up more, likely due to the standing position.
Meditation: Seated meditation has grown deeper, with my breath becoming thin, which I attribute to a more relaxed diaphragm. However, my breathing isn’t as developed as I would like yet. Through trial and error, I found that my psoas isn’t fully engaged in the breathing process, so I dedicate part of each session to working on this. The key is to focus on “pulling” downward from the sacral area. I’m beginning to understand the connection between Taoist reverse breathing and Kundalini. There’s warmth in the area, though no noticeable pleasure yet.
Comment by Alternative_Rain7889 at 11/11/2024 at 20:32 UTC
6 upvotes, 0 direct replies
Very physically exhausted from a recent tremor session involving my neck area mostly. I now have a better feeling within my own body, like a subtle pleasant warmth, especially in the morning when I wake up and am laying in bed. Feels so cozy. Just rubbing my own skin is kind of nice sometimes, or having a quick 5 second tremor during the day.
Comment by habithacker at 23/11/2024 at 20:38 UTC
4 upvotes, 1 direct replies
"the canvas on which we experience the movie of life", I love this. Awerness is such a hard concept for me to grasp.
Although I understand it intellectully, I feel that my whole spiritual journey has been an attempt at "knowing" awareness.
I say this because I have been on a meditation journey for quite a while, initially to treat OCD, but none the less I still find myself going into autopilot in the worst time leading to deep regret.
Comment by Frosty_Studio_3921 at 19/11/2024 at 10:53 UTC
3 upvotes, 0 direct replies
Month 2
I still feel like I'm tremoring as day one sometimes, I let it happen move to the upper body, even if I think that I staged it too much, but maybe it's just too much self-consciousness. I started this practice in the bed, then I switched into the floor, and nowadays back into the bed, because I feel too cold in the floor now for tremoring, which is ironic.
On the bed now I feel good and comfortable doing TRE, I like especially doing it under a sheet because I feel it gives me more intimacy with my body, then when I feel that the tremor starts, I start doing a simple breathing technique called box breathing which helps me to relax completely in the process and not controlling the tremor. Also I always tell myself something like "I trust you (my body) to relieve me, as always" at the start ahahahahah. This comes natural to me, but even this preparatory sentence has switched, I remember when I started it had more like master-servant connotation and it switched gradually into something more bonding. Well, doing this practice repeatedly for 20 minutes at night changed my mood throughout the day noticeably, but assuredly it is a combination of other factors as well. The first word to describe the effect of TRE is "expansion", I feel more open to experiences and the feeling of impeding threath from them shrunk a little, what encompasses this changes is something that feels like a breeze passing into my skull, which is strange but gives me relief, I don't know if it's actually connected to TRE but It seems natural to me to associate the two together. Also more feelings of "warmth", this is clear to me especially in the night, like in the middle of the night in the past I used to wake up suddenly with sorts of all strange convulsions and stress in the body, also an intense feeling of shock. But now when it happens I feel kinda electric in a good way ahahahahah. So yeah, I gained lots of benefits, altough fundamentally I behave the same, though I'm more invested into personal projects that involves creative stuff. I feel bad not concluding with any "negatives", like how the practice didn't made me more connected with my feelings of rage and sorrow, but hey, it's only two months, I have to see and still a lot of work to do. Buried sensations came to the surface but I don't think they were related to traumatic events. Like specific mindscapes from my teenager years and childhood when I used to retreat into solitude. I appreaciate mildly this kind of stuff but I don't think is negative per se, it makes me more nostalgic for sure though ahahahah, it's like a bittersweet aftertaste, sometimes so intense that it was like I could touch it. Thanks to this for two weeks atmost I had a blast living the days because it made me feel distinctly from the rest of the other days, like every day was a new day.