https://www.reddit.com/r/longisland/comments/1j807jo/my_dad_needs_friends_55/
created by frogandpenguino on 10/03/2025 at 14:42 UTC
102 upvotes, 74 top-level comments (showing 25)
my mom ( his wife obvi) died in 2020. he has gotten better with his grief but he has no friends. he sees my moms friend sometimes but he wants more from life. he is trying to quit drinking so bars are out of the question. are there any inexpensive groups/places to hang out for 55+ men? he’s very old school and he doesn’t use social media at all. he looves food, beach clean ups, fishing, nice scenery, and taking walks. he’s also a huge museum buff. i love him and i want the best for him but i don’t think hanging out with me all the time is doing him any good. any suggestions?
Comment by oathkeep3r at 10/03/2025 at 14:51 UTC
81 upvotes, 1 direct replies
Would he maybe enjoy bowling? My dad is part of a bowling league that meets once a week and he really enjoys it. The alley he goes to also offers unlimited bowling on Sunday mornings from 8-11am for a cheap flat fee.
Comment by Sweet-Sale-7303 at 10/03/2025 at 14:48 UTC
44 upvotes, 0 direct replies
Public library? They have lots of classes and things to meet people.
Comment by Dachd43 at 10/03/2025 at 15:04 UTC*
31 upvotes, 1 direct replies
My Quaker meeting is doing a beach cleanup[1] this weekend if that's something he's interested in. You don't have to be a Quaker to come but the demographic tends to skew towards his age-group.
1: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1NqKklp1JWYrsY10wkux64NNs4vKXLAXE/view
Maybe obviously, the Quakers tend to be very liberal and I understand that can be a dealbreaker for some people but I figure I would throw it out there. Quakers don't proselytize so it really will not matter to anyone at all how he identifies religiously; we get people who volunteer with us all the time that aren't Quakers.
Comment by Cheap-Insurance-1338 at 10/03/2025 at 14:49 UTC
16 upvotes, 2 direct replies
Does he want friends???
Comment by Oldnavylover at 10/03/2025 at 14:49 UTC
15 upvotes, 0 direct replies
Local library class/ groups? They do movie nights sometimes, yoga classes, etc.
Sending good vibes to you both❤️🩹
Comment by Science_Fair at 10/03/2025 at 15:08 UTC
13 upvotes, 2 direct replies
I find almost all socialization is activity based these days for anyone over 30. Suggestions:
1. Pickleball - growing like wildfire and very social. There are tons of opportunities to learn and play with beginners.. PM me if you need a local list.
2. Local men's social clubs like the Knights of Columbus
3. Bird watching groups
4. Joining a gym - there is usually an early morning crowds of retired men working out on the machines.
5. Other low impact activities such as golf, biking or bowling. Getting him golf lessons might be a good way to gauge interest/skill.
Comment by MacStainless at 10/03/2025 at 14:57 UTC
13 upvotes, 0 direct replies
LongIsland.com has a *TON* of events they post about and many are geared toward people his age. He should give it a look.
Comment by Figment416 at 10/03/2025 at 14:58 UTC
10 upvotes, 0 direct replies
Maybe he could join the NY marine rescue has a volunteer. They look for sea turtles and seals on the beaches. They have the info on their website to join
Comment by lost_in_life_34 at 10/03/2025 at 14:55 UTC
8 upvotes, 0 direct replies
lots of old people ride bikes at jones beach
tell him to take the train to manhattan and go to moma and the met to meet people
Comment by frogandpenguino at 10/03/2025 at 15:01 UTC
7 upvotes, 1 direct replies
hey guys!! we are in nassau county. he will drive anywhere he can find parking lol. he doesn’t like public transportation tho
Comment by KDsLatestBurnerPhone at 10/03/2025 at 14:56 UTC
7 upvotes, 0 direct replies
Golf! He’ll make a ton of friends. Hell be outside, walking, enjoying beautiful scenery
Comment by GreyMath at 10/03/2025 at 15:36 UTC
5 upvotes, 1 direct replies
If he’s trying to quit drinking I suggest he go to some AA meetings. He’ll make lifelong friends and be happy as hell doing it. There are definitely maniacs but on the whole it’s the best place to start a new healthy social life.
Comment by FireGodNYC at 10/03/2025 at 14:49 UTC
5 upvotes, 1 direct replies
This is wonderful - may be helpful to provide the part of the island / county he lives in..
Comment by cloudydays2021 at 10/03/2025 at 14:58 UTC
5 upvotes, 0 direct replies
Check out the bulletin board at your library - mine often has flyers for things like beach clean ups and going to see the seals out east, things like that - keep an eye out as the weather warms up as right now offerings may be sparse.
The library itself also has a lot of programs for people of all ages.
Comment by gloomgirll at 10/03/2025 at 15:28 UTC
5 upvotes, 0 direct replies
Our neighbor was in this same boat-he met a group of friends through an adult ed cooking class he took-(we are on the Nassau border, not sure if it was Suffolk or not.)
The classes weren’t expensive-you bring your own ingredients- he has kept the friends he’s made there and also learned some good recipes, he just had us over and cooked for us!
He’s 57 I believe and he now has friends of all ages !!
Comment by TAD631 at 10/03/2025 at 15:11 UTC
4 upvotes, 0 direct replies
The meetup app has great events that may be of interest in your dad. Lots of fun activities.
Comment by Jenn31709 at 10/03/2025 at 15:03 UTC
3 upvotes, 1 direct replies
Is he even slightly active? Most bowling alleys have leagues and the town has pickleball open play and leagues
Comment by whodisacct at 10/03/2025 at 16:43 UTC
3 upvotes, 0 direct replies
I’m about that age.
Consider pickleball leagues / groups. It’s a lot of fun, easy to get decent at, and the right amount of exercise.
Can also try NY/NJ Trail Conference or one of their chapters.
Bocce leagues are great fun and bowling too.
Comment by Life_is_too_short_ at 10/03/2025 at 16:48 UTC
3 upvotes, 0 direct replies
I'm 63M . I'd say join a gym. Go the same time every day. After awhile you get to know people and make a few friends.
Comment by sennaone at 10/03/2025 at 16:53 UTC
3 upvotes, 0 direct replies
You are a great child for even doing this for him. He is only 55 tell him to go the gym and meet some people. Go to the park at the same time he may see the same people and can meet them. He is only 55 maybe join a run club at a running store. Does he golf? Does he want to spend money on a hobby?
Comment by ProtoChan44 at 10/03/2025 at 15:09 UTC
2 upvotes, 0 direct replies
It's a bit more female-oriented, but perhaps he can take a Mah-Jong or Canasta Adult Ed class? Those who take those classes usually end up finding friends and start playing together regularly after the class is over.
Comment by u700MHz at 10/03/2025 at 15:57 UTC
2 upvotes, 0 direct replies
Check out Meetup website find groups that interest him in the area.
Setup it up for him and have him go....
Comment by Appropriate_Slip5448 at 10/03/2025 at 16:30 UTC
2 upvotes, 0 direct replies
Check out the programs offered by the library. There are also some walking groups he could sign up for. They are sometimes historical in nature. You might have to look for them on Facebook and then give him the info.
Comment by cryrabanks at 10/03/2025 at 16:31 UTC
2 upvotes, 0 direct replies
My uncle just joined a cornhole league. However a lot of the competitions are at breweries
Comment by Rcast1293 at 10/03/2025 at 16:37 UTC
2 upvotes, 0 direct replies
Bump because my mom's also in her 60s