https://www.reddit.com/r/depression/comments/1j7wlo3/ive_wasted_my_life_and_havent_grown_up/
created by MiddleSituation1034 on 10/03/2025 at 11:39 UTC
23 upvotes, 6 top-level comments (showing 6)
F24, I feel like I've wasted so much of my time and have put myself in a position where I can't start over or catch up.
I've worked a physically taxing job for 3 years now that takes up 50 hours per week. I still live at home with my family. I struggle to develop hobbies or go out on my own. I can't seem to find friends or even more so when I do, keep them. I feel like my creativity has died and I can't revive it. All my energy is spent on work I hate and on trying to keep myself together mentally.
I know everyone's journey is there own and goes at it's own pace, but it's hard not to note something wrong when it seems most people my age and younger me have no trouble going out to a bar on their own and making friends/flirting, committing their time and efforts towards passions all while taking on responsibilities such as living on their own and creating careers and skills for themselves. When I was younger I imagined myself at this age having at least made it to the next steps of feeling fulfilled in a unique, individualistic and passionate lifestyle like I'd watched others online do growing up. I wanted to be like that, but it seems I never really did take the steps either cause I'm lazy or busy.
And now it feels too late to start from ground zero, like life can't be turned around cause I'm not in this next wave of influence or creativity. I've done this to myself, and do I deserve it? I don't want to grow up and become the adult who regrets not becoming a star when they were young. I'm finding it harder to get up everyday and deal with myself and my life. Therapy, medication, it's not working and it must be my fault if I can't turn my depression into stubborn motivation, right?
Comment by Ok_Pea_4393 at 10/03/2025 at 11:54 UTC
4 upvotes, 2 direct replies
what is there to beat yourself up about? you have the integrity and commitment to maintain a taxing job.
depression can make it tough to see other goals, but it can be done. as far as the ladies, a quality one will see the good in what you do. and no, it’s not your fault.
start small. make a list of jobs you might try. find a career counselor. if someone looks at your resume, they will see a worker, not a bum.
Comment by Rux_207 at 10/03/2025 at 11:45 UTC
1 upvotes, 1 direct replies
What kind of job do you do?
Comment by Salty_Fennel_4022 at 10/03/2025 at 13:37 UTC
1 upvotes, 0 direct replies
I’m in the same spot only I don’t even have a job rn lol
Comment by spaces_places1619 at 10/03/2025 at 13:59 UTC
1 upvotes, 0 direct replies
I am 10yrs older and I had this same experience in my early 20s and still today I feel like my life has been a waste vis-a-vis my peers. I didn't work for at least a year after graduating college and then I wasted several years doing mindless and going nowhere jobs. I have a great career today (took lots of time and effort) and feel mostly satisfied in that arena, but I still feel stunted in terms of social development and having meaningful relationships. In fact, I struggle every day over a belief that my life is devoid of meaning. All of this is to say that there isn't a magical moment when you'll feel like you've grown up or that your life makes sense.
And I can't say it gets easier with time, but there are good moments to be had. I think you're already doing better than me by seeking help and advice from others (I kept everything to myself). I echo advice about tackling things piecemeal, and ensure actions align with a goal. There is something about depression that makes it difficult to set or maintain goals -- at least that's been my experience -- but (real and tangible) goals keep you present in life.
Comment by UnofficialMipha at 10/03/2025 at 14:28 UTC
1 upvotes, 0 direct replies
I think you’re giving other people too much credit. Most people can’t do all that stuff. You’re right where you need to be
Comment by guvnar19 at 10/03/2025 at 15:46 UTC
1 upvotes, 0 direct replies
Leave that job! Don’t spend your time doing something you hate! You’re so young go and try everything till you find something you love! Having time to cook decent meals will change your mentality so quick please take my word for it. Try everything and explore yourself. You’ll be fine when you start putting yourself before the job.
They’d replace you within a week.