https://www.reddit.com/r/books/comments/1ix13cc/straight_guy_reading_romance/
created by Montecatini on 24/02/2025 at 12:40 UTC
463 upvotes, 389 top-level comments (showing 25)
I have started reading romance due to a book recommendation from a female friend as a way to give myself a break from thriller books and I love it but there is a part of me that keeps wondering if I’m weird for liking this genre as much as I do.
I always worry that if anyone I knew found out that I read romance they’d think I’m odd & weird more than they already probably think I am.
So my question to the readers out there is how would you feel if you found out a male friend you knew liked to read romance? (Some of it spicy)
Is it too weird & should stop reading the genre & stick to thrillers?.
Comment by kratly at 24/02/2025 at 12:49 UTC*
698 upvotes, 7 direct replies
I’m a very happily married 42 year old straight dude and I dabble in romance/books that are clearly written with women as the intended audience.
My advice is don’t worry about what other people think. Read what you enjoy. That said, there are some titles that I do prefer to read on my Kindle instead of the book just because I don’t want to field questions about Erotic Short Stories for Punjabi Women, etc.
Comment by Strong-Usual6131 at 24/02/2025 at 12:51 UTC
355 upvotes, 5 direct replies
I don't think any genre of reading should be restricted by gender, and anyone who thinks it should be isn't someone I'd want to be friends with. Enjoy your romance novels!
Comment by Ivetafox at 24/02/2025 at 12:45 UTC
364 upvotes, 3 direct replies
I hand my romance books to my husband to read so no, I don’t think it’s weird.
If anyone says anything, consider that you’re learning what turns women on. Why wouldn’t you read it? 😉
Comment by crimsonredsparrow at 24/02/2025 at 12:45 UTC
174 upvotes, 2 direct replies
I would be over the moon to discuss romance books with a male friend!
Comment by Mountain_Recover_904 at 24/02/2025 at 12:59 UTC
132 upvotes, 4 direct replies
I’m a truck driver and we have cameras our trucks. I listen to audio books while I drive. More than once it’s caught a spicy part of a book. I’ve caught some flak for it and they like to poke at me about it. I just say “hey man my wife enjoys the benefits when I get home” or revert to school age tactics and say “you’re sister/mom”
But I’ve pretty much started a non formal book club at work. A couple of the managers will hit me up and ask what I’m listening to. And if it’s a book I know they want to read or are reading I tell them to make sure any videos from me are muted at that time so they don’t get spoilers.
In short no one really cares.
Comment by Imaginative_Name_No at 24/02/2025 at 13:25 UTC
74 upvotes, 1 direct replies
For god's sake please just read what you want to read.
Comment by landonpal89 at 24/02/2025 at 13:07 UTC
73 upvotes, 3 direct replies
I’m a 36 year old married heterosexual male who reads a ton and my favorite genre is probably romance. Ali Hazelwood, Emily Henry, Abby Jimenez, Jojo Moyes…. Some with no spice, some spicy enough that I’m too embarrassed to put them on Goodreads! 😅 it’s probably a little abnormal, but I’m comfortable with who I am and I’m sure I’m not the only one. Though I’m clearly not the target market.
Comment by kkat39 at 24/02/2025 at 12:52 UTC
58 upvotes, 2 direct replies
I’d be thrilled to find a man who reads 🤣. Anything! Read whatever tf you want, if people are going to judge you based on that they’re not worth being around.
Comment by SugaredCereal at 24/02/2025 at 12:48 UTC
24 upvotes, 0 direct replies
I think I felt more strongly about how bad some of the books he's reading are, versus the genre.
Read whatever you want, it's your business.
Comment by DarbySalernum at 24/02/2025 at 14:29 UTC
26 upvotes, 3 direct replies
I'm a guy who reads novels that are often called romance, like Georgette Heyer or Mary Stewart, although I have my doubts they really are romance novels. I suspect they're just called that because they're light, fun, have a bit of romance, and are written by women. If they were written by men they'd be called historical comedy or mystery.
Comment by bisque-include at 24/02/2025 at 13:30 UTC
12 upvotes, 0 direct replies
I’m a 40 year old married dad. I definitely don’t care what people think about the books I read anymore. I finished Funny Story recently and it was great!
Comment by Revelsketch at 24/02/2025 at 14:42 UTC
8 upvotes, 0 direct replies
My dad always said when I was growing up that one of the best things you can do to grow as a person is read good books not written for you. As long as you're enjoying it, don't sweat the rest.
Comment by behemuffin at 24/02/2025 at 13:35 UTC
18 upvotes, 1 direct replies
I'm more concerned about you thinking that my (or anyone's) opinion has any bearing whatsoever on what you should be reading. Man up and take ownership of your literary tastes!
Comment by MitchellLegend at 24/02/2025 at 13:29 UTC
54 upvotes, 1 direct replies
Gonna be real to you, guy to guy, that's just a bit of toxic masculinity talking.
Like what you like. Books are for everyone and genres are for everyone. I love romance too, it's one of my favorite genres!
Comment by Bugnuzzler at 24/02/2025 at 13:18 UTC
24 upvotes, 1 direct replies
This is a variation of women being allowed to enjoy things (clothing, hobbies, books, etc) that have primarily male consumers but men not being comfortable going the other way because female things are considered lesser. It’s utter nonsense. Read whatever you enjoy. I appreciate men who aren’t ashamed of being themselves.
Comment by sophies_library at 24/02/2025 at 14:23 UTC
13 upvotes, 0 direct replies
Green flag: Straight man who isn't afraid to read romance because he is secure in his masculinity and doesn't think love is emasculating.
Red flag: Straight man who doesn't read romance because he's insecure in his masculinity and worries that others will think he's not manly enough.
Comment by AlamutJones at 24/02/2025 at 12:46 UTC
30 upvotes, 1 direct replies
My dude, reading romance will open up so many doors for you. Some of the finest stories ever told are about the human heart.
Personally, one of my favourite romance things is a sequence of poetry told *from a young man��s point of view.* He meets this girl, he treasures her, and it’s absolutely gorgeous to hear him say so.
Comment by hameliah at 24/02/2025 at 14:10 UTC
7 upvotes, 0 direct replies
it’s not weird! is it “weird” for women to be into genres that are mostly read by men? tbh i think it’s great any time a guy can get into romance novels, since they are so often seen as stupid smut by men in general
Comment by Most-Okay-Novelist at 24/02/2025 at 14:12 UTC
6 upvotes, 0 direct replies
I'm a guy who reads romance. I'm bi and not straight, but I am married to a woman so most people think I am. The most I've ever gotten is a weird look from an old man at a diner when I was reading something on the spicier side in public. The cover wasn't super explicit but it was clearly a romance novel. Most people don't seem to care or think it's cool. I usually keep the spicier books on kindle and don't talk about them as much with my friends, but I do trade romance recs with one of my female dnd buddies.
Comment by SurvivalistGeek at 24/02/2025 at 13:53 UTC
15 upvotes, 0 direct replies
Fellow straight dude here. Enjoy both romance(books and comics) and the occasional erotica as well.
You are definitely not alone 😂
Comment by physicsandbeer1 at 24/02/2025 at 13:19 UTC*
14 upvotes, 1 direct replies
I mean, some of the greatest romances are written by men and target readers regardless of the Gender. Anna Karenina by Tolstoy is, basically, a Romance novel. Thomas Hardy books like Far from the Madding Crowd are absolutely romance novels. Turgenev's First Love is a romance novel, too.
You want more arguments? Jane Austen books have been universally recognized as some of the best literature in the world, by male readers like Borges. Who, by the way, also praised a novel called Maria by a colombian author, that is, in fact, a romance novel.
Go even further, romance novels targeted to men are pretty common in Asia today. Norwegian wood by Murakami is an example, but there are a lot of popular romance light novels (japanese pulp fiction basically) that are targeted almost exclusively to men.
Also, My dude, Shakespeare was a Man!
Why then, in today's western world, is seen as weird to read romance novels as a man? Well, that's a long, long, looong story, but basically sexism and the idea that men should be tough and emotionless or else they are weak and useless. Sexism doesn't affect women only, but us, men, too. And this is one of the places where it's seen more clearly.
Comment by ArmadilloFour at 24/02/2025 at 12:51 UTC
10 upvotes, 0 direct replies
If I found out a male friend read a bunch of spicy romance, it would not matter in the slightest. Life is way too short to be policing that stuff, read what brings you joy.
Comment by Aszshana at 24/02/2025 at 14:42 UTC
5 upvotes, 0 direct replies
It's always straight guys asking questions like this. If you're not hurting anyone (without consent) doing something, you're good. If someone would see you reading romance books as a red flag, they are the red flag. Like why do they care?
Comment by BakeKnitCode at 24/02/2025 at 14:43 UTC*
5 upvotes, 0 direct replies
I think I read somewhere that about 20% of romance readers are guys, and that stat was from before the explosion of queer romance, so I think it was probably not just gay guys. Straight men generally don't talk about reading romance, but I don't think it's that rare.
If you'd like to read a romance novel about a straight guy who reads romance novels, try Take a Hint, Dani Brown[1]. It's the second one of Talia Hibbert's very fun Brown Sisters series, but I don't think you need to read them in order.
ETA: and to answer your question, I would think it was fine, and I think everyone would be happier if they could embrace what they like without being constrained by arbitrary gender norms.
Comment by Sudden-Wish-7569 at 24/02/2025 at 14:45 UTC
6 upvotes, 1 direct replies
I think The only people who would think you're weird for reading romance are the ones who don't read at all. I have two male friends who read romance prose and poetry and who wrote romantic poems and I don't think less of them just because they love romance ... Romance books are great by the way , what are you reading right now ?